It’s The Great Pumpkin, Headless Horseman!
The talking and singing black zombie horse Bucephalus Reborn, Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow, Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun and his pet pterodactyl Hovering Voyeurius Over Raquelis Welchius were in Sleepy Hollow having hoped to meet the Great Pumpkin this past Friday night.
Sadly the Great Pumpkin was held up at the U.S. border by ICE officials.
He was put into a cage and had to undergo a test for Covid-19.
Dr. Anthony Fauci was brought in to conduct the test himself.
Dr. Fauci determined that the Great Pumpkin was indeed positive for Covid-19.
However due to the large amount of crying and wailing children outside the ICE compound on the Ontario-New York Canada-U.S.border, 100 doctors from the Center For Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia were brought in to test the Great Pumpkin.
All 100 doctors determined that the Great Pumpkin was negative for Covid-19.
ICE decided to release the Great Pumpkin on this night October 11th.
The Great Pumpkin then headed south to the village of Sleepy Hollow.
Last evening October 10th as they were in their room in the Rip Van Winkle Inn, the 4 visitors to Sleepy Hollow mentioned in the first paragraph watched on their room’s TV set an interview between the ghost of TV talk show host Merv Griffin and the ghost of noted writer, director and actor Orson Welles which was being shown on the Paranormal Channel.
Yesterday October 10th 2020 was the 35th anniversary of the death of Orson Welles (Welles having died on October 10th 1985).
Welles’ ghost was currently serving as an advisor to British MP Renfield R. Renfield along with the ghost of Winston Churchill.
When the interview was over, Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun turned the TV off and phoned downstairs to the front desk asking for a specific brand of rum.
The innkeeper replied, “We haven’t had that spirit here since 1999.”
An artist called Prince who was formerly the artist formerly known as Prince had apparently drank the last bottle at 10 minutes to midnight on the New Year’s Eve just before the advent of the year 2000.
Meanwhile on the radio a well-known female porn star was singing that old Bryan Adams hit Summer of ’69.
Buchephalus Reborn had grabbed an old geographical atlas off the room’s bookshelf and lay on the floor trying to locate the Hotel California on a map.
Outside the window could be seen a horde of eagles circling the inn.
Such was last night the evening of October 10th 2020.
Tonight October 11th 2020 the four were walking towards the Sleepy Hollow pumpkin patch where the Great Pumpkin was putting in an appearance (hopefully).
They walked past the cemetery where schoolteacher Ichabod Crane was buried.
As they walked past the cemetery, the horse Bucephalus Reborn started whistling the tune to an old Irish folk song Whistling Gypsy.
Yaldabaoth began to sing,
The whistling gypsy came over the hill
Down to the valley so shady;
He whistled and he sang
Till the green woods rang
And he won the heart of a lady.
The woman whose heart Yaldabaoth won and would be waiting for him on his bed in the room when they got back to the inn.
They soon arrived at the pumpkin patch.
As spooky music played on an abandoned church organ not far from the pumpkin patch, the Great Pumpkin rose above all the other pumpkins and said,
I am the Great Pumpkin
Doomed for a certain term to walk the night
and for the day confined to fast in fires
Till all the weight gained by eating me
Is burnt and purged away.
With that Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow grabbed the Great Pumpkin.
And Buchephalus Reborn grabbed a tube of Crazy Glue.
When his hooves removed the top off the tube of Crazy Glue, the horse asked, “Why do I feel the spirits of my relatives around me?”.
The horse then glued the Great Pumpkin to the top of the Headless Horseman’s body between his shoulders.
“Woe is me!” Were the Great Pumpkin’s last words before succumbing to the consciousness of Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow.
U.S. Postal Service employee Norman Newman who had been wandering around Sleepy Hollow hopelessly lost the past couple of days came over when he heard the cry “Woe is me!”.
He handed the Headless Horseman a lettered envelope addressed to JOHNNY WO, SLEEPY HOLLOW.
The letter was postmarked UNCLE ERNIE’S PLACE, SOMEWHERE DOWN UNDER, AUSTRALIA.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 11th
2020.
