Dr. Marmalade Montague Investigates Causes of Sulphuric Explosions

September 28, 2022 at 11:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dr. Marmalade Montague was a scientist who worked at Set Enterprises in London.

Even though he had no official background in science.

He had owned a bakery in Paris that went out of business during the 2020 plandemic lockdown under the orders of France’s Neo-Vichy tyrant Emmanuel Macron.

Still Marmalade Montague knew more about science than most of the so-called health “experts” who dispensed bad advice by the manure filled truckload during the plandemic of 2020-2021.

Dr. Marmalade Montague’s current project was investigating the causes of sulphurous explosions.

For this purpose he had sent Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who was the son of Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom) to the Yellowstone Caldera Supervolcano in Yellowstone National Park to pick up a sample of sulphurous contents bubbling up from the ground.

While Yaldabaoth was there using a baby bottle to pick up a sample from one of the bubbling craters, the crater had a major explosion.

Luckily for Yaldabaoth, being a leprechaun, he was immortal so the explosion didn’t kill him.

However it did put a dent into his plans to spend a night at the Moonlite BunnyRanch in Nevada as he could hardly go into the place smelling like rotten eggs.

The explosion did however kill a sasquatch who was walking by.

The sasquatch was currently in the process of litigation (a major lawsuit) against the man codenamed PH Unbalanced by Britain’s MI-6 Agency and the man considered the world’s most boring author.

The world’s most boring author had written a novel claiming that this sasquatch had murdered the world’s most boring sheriff’s deputy.

The claim was in fact true but what the sasquatch objected to was being written about and included as a character in a novel that was so unbelievably colossally boring.

He hadn’t been able to get a date since the novel was published as most female sasquatch and even a few gay, bisexual and transgendered sasquatch considered him too boring to date.

The sasquatch had gone to a City of Laramie Wyoming law firm to launch a lawsuit against the world’s most boring author PH Unbalanced filing the claim that “being included as a character in the world’s most boring novel written by the world’s most boring author had totally ruined his sex life”.

Now as a result of the sulphurous explosion, the sasquatch was dead.

Yaldabaoth after several months of showering would be able to have a sex life again.

The poor sasquatch being dead could not.

Dr. Marmalade Montague was also investigating the cause of Joe Biden’s sulphurous bowel movements alluded to into final (and end of life) reports written by some of the world’s late top secret agents in spy agencies.

For that, Dr. Marmalade Montague was using the visions of Michelangelo the psychic lobster.

Apparently back on January 28th 2021 (7 days after Biden was inaugurated having successfully stolen the 2020 U.S. Presidential election), senile old Joe had been invited to speak at a United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City in March of that year.

He was not to be the number one speaker however.

He was to be the number two speaker (which was appropriate for Joe).

The number one speaker was to be the well known Jewish Rastafarian and self described “independent pharmaceutical manufacturer” from Australia known by the popular moniker of Uncle Ernie (assuming of course that Uncle Ernie wouldn’t be in jail in Australia “drummed up on some nefarious charges brought against him by the government” as Uncle Ernie would put it).

The fallen archangel Mephistopheles (who was one of Joe Biden’s 3 supernatural advisors along with Baal and Baphomet) had recommended to Joe that he send someone to try to find the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and bring them to the U.S. for Joe Biden to eat the remains prior to giving his number two speech to the United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City.

The Gadarene swine of course had been possessed by the demons known as Legion and had been sent by Jesus Christ into the swine after Jesus had successfully exorcised a man known as the Gadarene demoniac.

The swine then charged into the Sea of Galilee.

Thus acting on orders from Joe Biden, the American Deep State set about to recover the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

Israeli Mossad agent Anna Chador to a Tel Aviv based scuba diver: “Would you be able to dive to the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and see if the remains of the Gadarene swine are still down there and if they are to bring them up to the surface?”.

He: Yes.

Unfortunately for Biden and Mephistopheles, those agencies associated with the American Deep State such as the CIA were having a top secret convention at Area 51 (remember this was the time of the plandemic and everything and everyone was supposed to be in lockdown) and the treats at this top secret convention were Australian Uncle Ernie’s independently made pharmaceuticals.

Thus after the convention, the CIA were in no shape whatsoever to go looking for the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

However there were plenty of reports of sightings of UFOs and ETs at Area 51 after this convention.

Thus the spaced-out CIA outsourced the mission to the Israeli Mossad.

The task was assigned to one of Israel’s top female agents Anna Chador and after consulting with a Tel Aviv based scuba diver, a deep sea mission was undertaken and the Gadarene Swine were found perfectly preserved at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

The bodies were raised from the depths and then flown to Washington DC.

Hell’s Kitchen chef Gordon Ramsay was brought in to cook the remains at the White House.

He made pork chops out of them which he topped with his famous homemade Sriracha laced apple sauce.

Joe Biden ate all of the Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce leaving the other guests at dinner hungry and awestruck at the senile old fool’s ravenous appetite.

The Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce remained fully stuck in Joe Biden’s intestines and could never be removed (something the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles knew would happen).

The direct result of the Gadarene swine pork chops and Sriracha laced homemade apple sauce being forever stuck in Biden’s intestines would be that he would always have sulphurous explosive bowel movements.

It was fortunate that the New York Chapter of the United Jewish Appeal decided to have their dinner and speeches via Zoom due to the plandemic.

The secret service agents guarding Biden on the night of his United Jewish Appeal Zoom dinner speech were not so lucky.

In an effort to boost the profits of the pharmaceutical manufacturing investments of one Dr. Anthony Fauci, the cause of the secret service agents’ deaths was listed as Covid rather than sulphurous fumes.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 28th
2022.

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Dr. Marmalade Montague’s Dandelion Remedy While Dr. Cadbury Rocher Plans For A New Crusader

October 2, 2020 at 10:20 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Dr. Marmalade Montague (who didn’t hold a Doctorate in anything) was Set Enterprises’ resident eccentric.

He drank Russian tea from a Russian samovar but didn’t add lemon and honey to it like the Russians did.

Instead he added lime and maple syrup.

Marmalade Montague had been a baker with his own bakery for most of his professional life.

However that bakery went belly up during the Covid-19 lockdown in Paris France this past spring.

Going insane, he fancied himself the court scientist to the court of King Louis Quatorze who had fallen into a time warp and was taken from the reign of the Sun King to this year of 2020.

Marmalade Montague believed that it was his purpose to find an antidote or vaccine for the Covid virus.

Flying from Paris to London in a balloon, Dr. Montague showed up at the door of Set Enterprises Laboratories where Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher took pity on him and gave him a job with his own small office and even smaller laboratory to play in.

Now Dr. Montague had heard the news that Donald Trump along with First Lady Melania had tested positive for Covid-19 and the U.S. President had been flown by helicopter to the Walter Reed Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland.

Montague was currently working on a remedy for the virus using dandelions.

This new “scientific” approach was brought on by a dream he had where Oscar Wilde had met the Lion King and as Simba was wearing a pink dress and ballet slippers, Wilde had remarked, “Well, aren’t you the dandy lion?”.

Montague got on the phone to Walter Reed where he recommended to hospital authorities that Trump be injected with dandelion wine.

Later Montague had heard on the news that Trump was being given a dose of “experimental antibodies”.

Montague had text messaged Dr. Cadbury Rocher with this news wondering if the “experimental antibodies” being given Trump were his (the Dr. Marmalade Montague) recipe for a Covid remedy involving dandelion wine with a dash of borscht soup.

When Dr. Cadbury Rocher received the text message from Dr. Marmalade Montague, Dr. Rocher remarked to Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster, “I somehow very much doubt it.”

Dr. Rocher was sitting in the aquarium room alongside Michelangelo (who was playing the harp- a waterproof wooden harp with waterproof strings- in his lobster tank).

Rocher was working on a project of his own.

After long talks with British MP Renfield R. Renfield, Dr. Rocher had become convinced that Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan (the would be Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire) was becoming an increasing danger to the world.

Over the past summer Erdogan had converted 10 Byzantine Orthodox Christian churches and monasteries in Turkey into Islamic mosques.

Now there was the war between Armenia and Azerbaijan that had erupted the past week.

Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit reports were showing that it was Erdogan who was clearly behind the conflict.

Armenian Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan had told French newspaper Le Figaro today that it had evidence that Turkish Military Command is controlling Azerbaijan’s military operations in the disputed territory of Nagorno-Karabakh.

The Syrian Observatory For Human Rights had just issued a report saying that Turkey had now smuggled over 900 opposition fighters against Assad in Syria through Turkey into Azerbaijan to join the fight against the Armenians.

And now a group of Chaldean Catholic Bishops had also issued a report stating that Turkish military units were now attacking Christian villages in eastern Iraq.

Something would have to be done.

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s personal archaeologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury (who had in fact discovered Set’s tomb in Egypt in November 1918) had recently discovered the grave of a Scottish Crusader who had fought alongside Richard The Lion Hearted in the Third Crusade.

The Crusader Leonard MacDavid was found to have his brains still intact in his skull (a powerful indication that the Scottish Crusader had never entered politics).

Dr. Rocher had resolved to put those brains inside a body and bring the Crusader back to life to lead a Crusade and fight against Erdogan.

He wondered in what body he should put Leonard MacDavid’s brains.

Dr. Rocher and Michelangelo were currently watching the 1975 comedy/fantasy film Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

He particularly watched with interest the scene involving the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 2nd
2020.

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Dr. Marmalade Montague Examines Set Enterprises Intelligence Network

September 17, 2020 at 10:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Dr. Marmalade Montague (who wasn’t really a doctor) was a Paris baker who had a mental breakdown after his Paris bakery closed permanently (due to inability to pay rent) during the spring lockdown in Paris, France earlier this year.

After his breakdown, Dr. Marmalade Montague imagined that he was the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze who had become trapped in a time warp and was taken from France’s Sun King epoch to this year of 2020.

Montague flew to England from France in a hot air balloon (that was powered by an old gramophone on which played a record disc that had on it The Collected Speeches of French President Emmanuel Macron).

Montague showed up at the Set Enterprises Laboratory and Persian Rug Warehouse (which was one and the same building) in London.

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher took pity on him and gave him a job.

Today Dr. Marmalade Montague sat in his office and watched on his computer things that were happening with the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit since he had somehow inadvertently managed to download the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit App (which was actually harder to download than the CIA, FBI, Homeland Security, MI-5, MI-6, FSB, GRU and Chinese Ministry of State Security apps) to his computer.

In the Set Enterprises daycare centre meanwhile, a 3-year-old child had downloaded the ASIO (Australian Security Intelligence Organization) app
as had 3-year-old children in daycare centres across the planet.

Dr. Montague watched a Skype conversation between the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (who was a Renfieldian double agent in the Chinese Ministry of State Security) and British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who prior to his election to Parliament in June 2017 had been Chief of Intelligence Gathering and Security Operations For Set Enterprises).

“So, Rennie,” Mei-ling addressed the Churchillian Transhumanist Member of Parliament, “you’ve undoubtedly heard by now that a CCP (Chinese Communist Party) front the San Francisco-based Chinese Progressive Association has been providing funding for BLM inspired rioting across the U.S.”.

“Yes, I’ve heard that,” Renfield had taken apart his egg roll to see if there were any wiretaps in it and finding none had put sweet and sour orange sauce over it and ate it, “so this is further confirmation that the CCP has been financing the ongoing anarcho-Marxist thug and hooligan riots (what the mainstream Marxist media in the U.S. call “peaceful protests”) that have been taking place in America all summer with the approval of numerous U.S. Democratic Party mayors and governors.”

“Yes, the CCP definitely wants to see the Biden/Harris ticket win in November,” Mei-ling sipped a glass of red wine.

“Another thing they have in common with the mainstream Marxist media,” Renfield started examining his Peking Duck for signs of a wiretap inside.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 17th
2020.


Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu relaxes with candlelight and music.

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The Montague Hypothesis

August 2, 2020 at 10:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was conversing via Skype with his best friend Amadeus Emanon.

Amadeus had gone to Australia back in January to help rescue koala bears and kangaroos from the summer wildfires that were rummaging through Australia at the time.

Amadeus got trapped in Australia due to the pandemic.

Occasionally the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis oil powered dirigible airship visited Australia but that was to pick up important visitors like Uncle Ernie and fly him to Washington DC and important European capitals and back.

Fatal heart attacks caused by Uncle Ernie’s impromptu drag queen performances to various individuals were listed as deaths by Covid-19 by various National Health Authorities throughout the world.

“So, what has Dr. Marmalade Montague been up to lately?” Amadeus asked Renfield.

Dr. Marmalade Montague was the eccentric Parisienne ex-baker who lost his bakery business during the Covid-19 lockdown earlier this year.

He had shown up at the door of Set Enterprises’ laboratory claiming to be the Court Scientist To The Court of Louis Quatorze who had fallen into a time warp and wound up in the year 2020.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher had taken pity on him and gave him a small office (and an even smaller lab) to play around in.

Dr. Montague was positive that he could come up with a cure for or an antidote to Covid-19.

He came up with various eccentric recipes for killing Covid-19.

If Dr. Marmalade Montague had had a Twitter account, his Covid recipe tweets would have probably been retweeted by one Donald Trump @realDonaldTrump .

“He’s come up with the idea that the Covid-19 virus has intelligence and that’s why it’s able to go through so many different manifestations and change itself so many times to confuse antibodies,” Renfield answered.

Amadeus laughed, “I suppose that idea got the usual short shrift from Dr. Cadbury Rocher like always happens when Dr. Marmalade Montague approaches him with one of his many weird ideas.”

“That’s the terrifying thing,” Renfield downed a 75 ounce bottle of whisky in one gulp, “Dr. Cadbury Rocher didn’t make short shrift of this particular Montague hypothesis. He just looked extremely glum and walked on. Then he phoned a WHO representative who promptly dropped dead of a heart attack (without ever having seen an Uncle Ernie drag queen show).”

“That’s a whole new game changer isn’t it?” Amadeus had actually stopped eating while he was on Skype, “A virus with intelligence and an ability to think.”

“It is,” Renfield downed another 75 ounce bottle of whisky in one gulp, “I suppose they might finally break the news to the world after a couple of months of 90% of the world’s population wearing face masks and still no stoppage in the spreading of the virus.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 2nd
2020.

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Renfield Meets Marmalade Montague

May 7, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield Meets Marmalade Montague

Dr. Marmalade Montague the former Paris baker who now thought he was the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze sat in an arm chair about 20 feet across from British MP Renfield R. Renfield in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

“So, you got caught in a time warp and ended up in Paris in the year 2020?” Renfield sipped his martini, “I’d ask for your money back from your time travel tour guide if I was you. You picked a rather shitty time to arrive in.”

“Still I may be able to find a possible vaccine for this Covid-19 virus,” Dr. Montague powdered his silver haired wig.

“Well, you’ve got a better chance at it than Bill Gates does,” Renfield had to admit.

“So, everything is under lockdown across the globe,” Dr. Montague looked at the globe of the world next to his chair which was currently in a vise held in the clenched mouth of a statue of the ancient Canaanite god Moloch.

“Yes, a certain variety of infectious diseases health expert is the very model of the current technocratic elite across the world,” Renfield explained, “Ever since Plato wrote his Republic, people in various fields of specialization thought of themselves as a particular age’s philosopher-kings. It varied from century to century. And decade to decade. This decade has started out with the infectious diseases health expert because of this Covid-19 virus.”

“From your tone of voice, I take it there are side effects to having this type of specialist as the world’s technocratic elite?” Dr. Montague inquired.

“The first side effect was to turn various elected officials across the world into instantaneous Fascists or Communists,” Renfield opened a Budweiser, “This is particularly true in the United States of America which has turned most of that nation’s Democratic Party leadership into raging Communist tyrants. Although that has always lain just beneath the surface of most Democratic Party politicians in the U.S. for the past 40 years. This pandemic has just brought that inherent Bolshevik or Menshivik plague deep within each U.S. Democrat to the surface. This spawn of Hell virus has only encouraged the likes of Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, Virginia’s scumbag Governor Ralph Northam, California Gov. Gavin Newsom and New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio to embrace their Inner Josef Stalin and Inner Mao Tse-tung (to use Oprahesque New Age terminology) and arrest people for not wearing masks or arrest people for being Christians or Orthodox Jews. The innate militant atheist Bolshevism of most 21st Century U.S. Democrats is definitely coming to the surface there. City council in Kansas City, Missouri is demanding that churches hand over to City Hall the name and address of every person who attends a church service. It will soon become exceedingly difficult for anyone to be able to sing those Star-Spangled Banner lyrics “the land of the free” with a straight face.”

Athelstan (the butler and valet to Set) entered the living room wearing a World War I gas mask and announced that the guest bedroom had been turned into a Louis XIV era bedroom and was now ready for Dr. Marmalade Montague.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 7th
2020.

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