The FIFA World Cu₱ and The Summoning of An Evil Djinn
Dr. Marmalade Montague Investigates Causes of Sulphuric Explosions
Dr. Marmalade Montague was a scientist who worked at Set Enterprises in London.
Even though he had no official background in science.
He had owned a bakery in Paris that went out of business during the 2020 plandemic lockdown under the orders of France’s Neo-Vichy tyrant Emmanuel Macron.
Still Marmalade Montague knew more about science than most of the so-called health “experts” who dispensed bad advice by the manure filled truckload during the plandemic of 2020-2021.
Dr. Marmalade Montague’s current project was investigating the causes of sulphurous explosions.
For this purpose he had sent Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who was the son of Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom) to the Yellowstone Caldera Supervolcano in Yellowstone National Park to pick up a sample of sulphurous contents bubbling up from the ground.
While Yaldabaoth was there using a baby bottle to pick up a sample from one of the bubbling craters, the crater had a major explosion.
Luckily for Yaldabaoth, being a leprechaun, he was immortal so the explosion didn’t kill him.
However it did put a dent into his plans to spend a night at the Moonlite BunnyRanch in Nevada as he could hardly go into the place smelling like rotten eggs.
The explosion did however kill a sasquatch who was walking by.
The sasquatch was currently in the process of litigation (a major lawsuit) against the man codenamed PH Unbalanced by Britain’s MI-6 Agency and the man considered the world’s most boring author.
The world’s most boring author had written a novel claiming that this sasquatch had murdered the world’s most boring sheriff’s deputy.
The claim was in fact true but what the sasquatch objected to was being written about and included as a character in a novel that was so unbelievably colossally boring.
He hadn’t been able to get a date since the novel was published as most female sasquatch and even a few gay, bisexual and transgendered sasquatch considered him too boring to date.
The sasquatch had gone to a City of Laramie Wyoming law firm to launch a lawsuit against the world’s most boring author PH Unbalanced filing the claim that “being included as a character in the world’s most boring novel written by the world’s most boring author had totally ruined his sex life”.
Now as a result of the sulphurous explosion, the sasquatch was dead.
Yaldabaoth after several months of showering would be able to have a sex life again.
The poor sasquatch being dead could not.
Dr. Marmalade Montague was also investigating the cause of Joe Biden’s sulphurous bowel movements alluded to into final (and end of life) reports written by some of the world’s late top secret agents in spy agencies.
For that, Dr. Marmalade Montague was using the visions of Michelangelo the psychic lobster.
Apparently back on January 28th 2021 (7 days after Biden was inaugurated having successfully stolen the 2020 U.S. Presidential election), senile old Joe had been invited to speak at a United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City in March of that year.
He was not to be the number one speaker however.
He was to be the number two speaker (which was appropriate for Joe).
The number one speaker was to be the well known Jewish Rastafarian and self described “independent pharmaceutical manufacturer” from Australia known by the popular moniker of Uncle Ernie (assuming of course that Uncle Ernie wouldn’t be in jail in Australia “drummed up on some nefarious charges brought against him by the government” as Uncle Ernie would put it).
The fallen archangel Mephistopheles (who was one of Joe Biden’s 3 supernatural advisors along with Baal and Baphomet) had recommended to Joe that he send someone to try to find the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and bring them to the U.S. for Joe Biden to eat the remains prior to giving his number two speech to the United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City.
The Gadarene swine of course had been possessed by the demons known as Legion and had been sent by Jesus Christ into the swine after Jesus had successfully exorcised a man known as the Gadarene demoniac.
The swine then charged into the Sea of Galilee.
Thus acting on orders from Joe Biden, the American Deep State set about to recover the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.
Israeli Mossad agent Anna Chador to a Tel Aviv based scuba diver: “Would you be able to dive to the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and see if the remains of the Gadarene swine are still down there and if they are to bring them up to the surface?”.
He: Yes.
Unfortunately for Biden and Mephistopheles, those agencies associated with the American Deep State such as the CIA were having a top secret convention at Area 51 (remember this was the time of the plandemic and everything and everyone was supposed to be in lockdown) and the treats at this top secret convention were Australian Uncle Ernie’s independently made pharmaceuticals.
Thus after the convention, the CIA were in no shape whatsoever to go looking for the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.
However there were plenty of reports of sightings of UFOs and ETs at Area 51 after this convention.
Thus the spaced-out CIA outsourced the mission to the Israeli Mossad.
The task was assigned to one of Israel’s top female agents Anna Chador and after consulting with a Tel Aviv based scuba diver, a deep sea mission was undertaken and the Gadarene Swine were found perfectly preserved at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.
The bodies were raised from the depths and then flown to Washington DC.
Hell’s Kitchen chef Gordon Ramsay was brought in to cook the remains at the White House.
He made pork chops out of them which he topped with his famous homemade Sriracha laced apple sauce.
Joe Biden ate all of the Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce leaving the other guests at dinner hungry and awestruck at the senile old fool’s ravenous appetite.
The Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce remained fully stuck in Joe Biden’s intestines and could never be removed (something the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles knew would happen).
The direct result of the Gadarene swine pork chops and Sriracha laced homemade apple sauce being forever stuck in Biden’s intestines would be that he would always have sulphurous explosive bowel movements.
It was fortunate that the New York Chapter of the United Jewish Appeal decided to have their dinner and speeches via Zoom due to the plandemic.
The secret service agents guarding Biden on the night of his United Jewish Appeal Zoom dinner speech were not so lucky.
In an effort to boost the profits of the pharmaceutical manufacturing investments of one Dr. Anthony Fauci, the cause of the secret service agents’ deaths was listed as Covid rather than sulphurous fumes.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 28th
2022.
Extremely Curious George
“Well, I’m sure Renfield will be happy to see you back in London, Amadeus,” Set Enterprises’ secret agent Miranda Singh remarked to Amadeus Emanon who was the best friend of British MP Renfield R. Renfield and had been living for over a year in Australia, “but I thought the Australian government wasn’t allowing you to leave Australia because they found something strange with your DNA and were wanting Australia’s intelligence agencies to investigate further.”
“That’s true but the Boss,” Amadeus was referring to his official employer the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, “sent one of his eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis-powered dirigible airships The Peregrine Falcon to rescue me after my Australian host Uncle Ernie had his backyard unauthorized and illegal pharmaceutical manufacturing facility raided and poor Uncle Ernie once again finds himself in jail.”
“Why was Uncle Ernie raided?” Miranda inquired.
“Xi Jinping discovered that Uncle Ernie was the major competitor and rival to the CCP illegal drug monopoly in Australia and Xi couldn’t stand having any major competitors in the Australian market,” Amadeus explained, “Many Austalian politicians depend on CCP illegal drug money to help finance their political campaigns and so when the word got out that Xi’s axe was about to fall on Uncle Ernie’s head, many Australian politicos put on their executioners’ masks.”
“Like Victoria State Dictator Daniel Andrews whose nickname is Chairman Dan?” Miranda asked.
“Yes, Andrews recently slipped on some wet stairs at his holiday home on the Mornington Peninsula a week ago,” Amadeus nodded, “surprisingly the day after Uncle Ernie gave a surprise evening performance of his drag queen show Cumelita to kangaroos and koala bears who were watching the performance through the Andrews holiday home window. It was strange the Australian police said they found traces of Uncle Ernie’s DNA on those wet stairs which leads one to speculate on what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing.”
“I’m sure a YouTube video will appear eventually showing what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing,” Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague remarked as he entered the room.
“Unless of course Uncle Ernie sang a song whose lyrics dispute the official Covid-19 narrative currently being espoused by the World Health Organization,” Miranda quipped, “in which case that video will be immediately banned by YouTube, Twitter and Facebook.”
“Was that a stegosaurus I just saw walking by?” Amadeus gasped as he pointed out the office window.
“Yes, Dr. Cadbury Rocher successfully cloned a stegosaurus using stegosaurus DNA found on the blood sucked by the perfectly preserved remains of a 155 million year old mosquito,” Montague smiled.
“What’s its name?” Amadeus asked.
“Extremely Curious George,” Montague answered.
“Extremely Curious George?” Amadeus repeated the name in the form of a question.
“Yes, like Curious George the monkey in the famous children’s stories and later film,” Montague nodded, “only a lot more curious.”
A strange cry is heard.
“Um,” Montague turned pale, “I think Extremely Curious George may have just examined the mouse trap I set to catch the mouse who’s been stealing my grilled cheese sandwiches.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 15th
2021.
Set Gets A Call From His Accounting Department
The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was sitting in his study and listening to the radio.
He was once again surprised to hear his former employee and current British MP Renfield R. Renfield reading the BBC World News Report on BBC Radio.
Renfield said, “Next month on his trip to Iraq, the extremely ecumenically minded Pope Francis will be holding an interfaith religious service on top of the ancient Babylonian temple to the Mesopotamian moon god Nanna. No word yet on whether Nanna himself plans to attend the service.”
Set guffawed.
Spewing the Earl Grey tea in his mouth all the way to the far side of the study.
Renfield went on, “And in further news regarding Pope Francis, the pontiff said all journalists wishing to fly with him on his plane to and from Iraq must be vaccinated against the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus known to the world as Covid before being allowed to fly with him.
Those journalists who wish to ask him questions leading to one of his usual idiotic rambling answers must be vaccinated twice…”
The phone rang on the desk next to Set’s chair and he turned the radio off.
The vampire picked up the receiver.
It was one of those old phones that you often see in gangster movies of the 1920s and ’30s.
“Sol Invictus Set,” the vampire said giving the full name he wrote down on his British Citizenship certificate when he received British citizenship back in the 1920s.
“Hello, Mr. Set,” the voice on the other end spoke, “This is I.M. Boring from the Set Enterprises Accounting Department.”
“Oh yes, Mr. Boring,” Set yawned, “What can I do for you?”.
“We’ve noticed an expenditure claimed by one of your employees that we think you should really be concerned about,” Boring explained.
“Oh yes,” Set put down his cup of tea and proceeded to drink the entire pot of coffee on the tray next to him to keep himself awake.
“One of your employees put down as an expenditure the cost of 2002 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin over the past month,” Boring noted.
“By 2002,” Set finished the entire pot of coffee, “Do you mean the year the gin was made or the numerical amount of bottles of gin that was consumed?”.
“The numerical amount of bottles of gin that was consumed,” Boring answered.
“Jesus,” Set was fully awake now and spoke a name that probably wouldn’t be mentioned in the interfaith service atop Nanna’s temple next month, “This employee must be sent to Alcoholics Anonymous right away or face permanent termination of his employment.”
“It gets worse, Mr. Set,” Boring explained.
“It does?” Set rang the bell on his tray to summon his butler and valet Athelstan.
The billionaire vampire was going to ask his gentleman’s gentleman to bring him Set a much needed bottle of Hendrick’s Gin.
“Apparently the entire 2002 bottles of gin were consumed on two separate days,” Boring went on, “1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin consumed back on Thursday February 4th and 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin consumed 2 days ago on Monday February 22nd.”
“My God,” Set reached for a hot buttered scone, “Talk about the mother of all drinking problems. Doesn’t the said person realize that binge drinking is dangerous. He should really space out his alcohol consumption. And not do it all at one time every 3 weeks.”
“And not charge the cost of his alcohol consumption to his employer,” Boring noted.
“Indeed,” Set wholeheartedly agreed and started putting some marmalade on his hot buttered scone, “And what was the name of this employee?”.
“Dr. Marmalade Montague,” Boring answered.
Set quickly checked the brand name of his marmalade.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 24th
2021.
Marmalade and Hendrik’s Gin Revive A Leprechaun Again
The body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was once again lying under a contraption invented by Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague that would pour 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin down the leprechaun’s throat that would bring him back from the dead.
A recipe written down by Asclepius (the Greek god of medicine who was killed by a thunderbolt from Zeus) that wound its way on to a late 1940s matchbook from a Cairo nightclub said that a combination of juniper, cucumber and damask rose could be used to resurrect a leprechaun from the dead.
It just so happened that the ingredients used in making Hendrick’s Gin were juniper, cucumber and damask rose.
An analysis of the leprechaun’s blood showed that he had been poisoned by a combination of champagne and Fire Salamander toxic poisoning.
According to a Facebook status post Yaldabaoth had made this past Saturday night, the leprachaun wound up hopelessly lost in the streets of London and entered a building that he thought was the Imperial Aurora Hotel where he was staying.
He went up to his hotel room floor in the elevator and when he got off the elevator, he saw that he was in fact not in a hotel but most likely in an apartment building.
He decided to check out the floor and when he got back from his rounds of the floor, he noticed a beautiful woman wearing a short skirt pointing a gun at two men and forcing them to get on the elevator with her.
The men must be gay, Yaldabaoth deduced in Sherlockian fashion, because otherwise such a woman should have absolutely no problem in getting a couple of men to get into an elevator with her.
Yaldabaoth happened to pass an apartment door that was still open.
He peered inside and happened to notice a bottle of champagne with two glasses on a small table in the middle of the room.
The leprechaun went inside and ignoring the two glasses, he drank straight from the bottle.
It was probably here that the leprechaun received his poisoning, Dr. Marmalade Montague deduced.
Someone must have added Fire Salamander poison to the bottle of champagne.
Judging from the amount of Fire Salamander poison in the champagne, this combination would have killed a mortal human within a space of 2 to 3 hours.
In Yaldabaoth’s case, being a somewhat usually immortal lepechaun, the poison didn’t kick in until 24 hours later when he entered the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka’s hotel room at the Imperial Aurora and noticed her wearing a killer mini skirt outfit.
The sudden rush of adrenaline with the combination of the champagne and Fire Salamander poison caused the leprechaun to keel over.
On the other hand as that classy and classically inclined arch villain Raymond Red Reddington once put it on an episode of The Blacklist, “Look on the bright side. At least he died with an enormous erection and a smile on his face.”
Dr. Marmalade Montague pushed a button and his contraption started pouring 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s gin down the leprechaun’s throat.
Set Enterprises’ Dr. Marmalade Montague rushes away from his Thames River bridge proposition after receiving a phone call that Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun had keeled over again.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 22nd
2021.
Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Prototype Teleporter
British MP Renfield R. Renfield had recently come in possession of a stash of Russian vodka that Naina Yeltsina had hidden from her husband the late former Russian President Boris Yeltsin.
Because of course if Yeltsin had found them, they’d all be drunk by now.
Renfield had invited Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague over to help sample them.
“So, what are you up to these days?” Renfield asked as he poured the glasses of vodka.
“I’m watching Dr. Cadbury Rocher build a prototype teleporter,” Montague answered.
“Teleporter?” Renfield looked quizzical, “You mean like Captain Kirk and the U.S.S. Enterprise and “Beam me up, Scotty” and all that?”.
“Exactly,” Montague nodded, “But at this stage, he’s not testing it on mortal humans just yet.”
“You mean he’s not like Big Pharma that’s boldly going ahead where no experimental vaccines have gone before and rolling out the newfangled mRNA vaccines that have skipped a whole bunch of phases of testing and experimentation using a new type of vaccine that’s never been used in the history of science and yet governments and so-called health “experts” are telling us that these vaccines are perfectly safe giving them a level of omniscience that the medieval Scholastic philosophers had previously ascribed to God?” Renfield queried.
“No, he’s not like Big Pharma,” Montague acknowledged.
“So, who’s he using to test his protype teleporter?” Renfield asked.
“A supernatural creature,” Montague answered.
“What type of supernatural creature?” Renfield queried, “It couldn’t be an angel, fallen angel, demon or fairie since they already know how to teleport.”
“Let’s watch the TV news and see,” Montague put on the telly.
There was a clip of former British Prime Minister Tony Blair telling a press conference that all the citizens of the planet must have a vaccine passport and if they don’t have one, they shouldn’t be allowed to travel or be allowed to enter an establishment or place of business or restaurant.
As Blair was talking, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST was written on his forehead in black felt ink.
The scene then switched to narcissistic self-proclaimed demi-god Bill Gates (who because he wasn’t Donald Trump his narcissism was totally overlooked by the brainless mainstream Marxist media in the western world as well as other assholes).
Gates smiled orgiastically, “And people may have to get new Covid vaccines year after year, decade after decade, century after century.
Waaahhahahaaaaa!”.
He broke into great gales of uber-DoctorFrankensteinian laughter.
Suddenly the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST was written on his forehead in red felt ink.
Suddenly a slide showing the Georgia Guidestones inscription that read MAINTAIN HUMANITY UNDER 500,000,000 IN PERPETUAL BALANCE WITH NATURE was projected on to the screen behind Gates.
Then an audio recording of Bill Gates saying, “Way hey! Ho! Ho! 7.5 billion people have to go!” was then played.
The neo-Hitlerian eugenicist Gates then went beserk.
“Someone take down that slide and someone put an end to that audio recording,” Gates foamed at the mouth and then fell over backwards with his head spinning around like Linda Blair in Fast/Forward mode.
Dr. Anthony Fauci at his press conference smiled pompously and smugly and idiotically in a manner that only impressed those who were on the Left of the political spectrum across the globe.
As Fauci once again gave another one of his condescending lectures that sent members of The Washington Post and The New York Times into paroxysms of masturbation from which they might never recover, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST suddenly appeared on his forehead written in red and black felt ink.
Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the CCP’s stooge at the helm of WHO (World Health Organization) decided to cancel his press conference when he saw what happened at the other press conferences.
He rushed out to his limousine as TV cameras followed him.
The TV cameras captured him getting hit in the face with a coconut cream pie thrown at him by some invisible entity.
“So, I take it this supernatural creature testing the prototype teleporter for Dr. Rocher is a 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit invisible to mortals?” Renfield finished his glass of vodka.
“That’s right,” Dr. Marmalade Montague smiled.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 8th
2021.
Dr. Marmalade Montague and The Alien Saviour
Set Enterprises’ eccentric researcher Dr. Marmalade Montague was talking to Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.
“I’ve been studying cults and their methods of mind control,” Dr. Montague commented.
“That’s nice,” Dr. Rocher remarked as he was studying his great-grandmother’s recipe for duck a l’orange with which he intended to surprise his wife and family on Christmas Day.
“Did you know that there are a few cults that use drugs as a form of mind control?” Dr. Montague pointed out.
“I’ve heard that,” Dr. Rocher wondered why Sherrielock Holmes (his immortal and forever youthful great-grandmother) would add Bavarian wild mushrooms to Duck a l’Orange.
“Do you know there are some Vatican cardinals who are expecting the arrival of an alien saviour?” Montague had had this information relayed to him by Samhaim Cardinal Salaman.
“Do you mean alien as in immigrant refugee?” Dr. Rocher was baffled by the adding of cranberries to Duck a l’orange.
“No, alien as in ET,” Dr. Montague answered.
“ET?” Dr. Rocher looked up from the adding of black licorice whips, Welch’s blue grape juice and tomatoed buns to Duck a l’orange.
“As in Extraterrestrial visitor from another world,” Dr. Montague took off his tin foil Viking helmet with buffalo horns.
“Wow, that is different,” Dr. Rocher returned to his recipe.
“Do you suppose Pope Francis believes in an alien ET saviour since all indications are he doesn’t seem to believe in Jesus Christ as true God incarnate as man?” Dr. Montague inquired.
“I have no idea,” Dr. Rocher was wondering whether he shouldn’t try a recipe for lasagne a la Giordano Bruno that he had just found on the Internet rather than his great-grandmother’s recipe for Duck a l’orange.
“Do you suppose Pope Francis reads Chinese?” Montague inquired.
“Don’t know,” Dr. Montague phoned Lydo’s of London Chinese Food at 426-5050 Baker Street as he was starting to get the munchies after smoking his hybrid t-rex giraffe Julius’ Rastafarian peace pipe.
“Because he approved the CCP’s Chinese translation of the Bible to be used by the Catholic Church in China,” Dr. Montague pointed out.
“Well that would make more sense than approving a Hebridean Gaelic translation of the Bible to be used by the Catholic Church in China,” Dr. Rocher remarked.
“Well, you know the Gospel of John Chapter 8 verses 3 to 11 where the Pharisees present Christ with the woman taken in adultery and say she should be stoned (as in rocks thrown at her not in the psychedelic sense) to death in accordance with Moses’ law and Christ says, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” and so all the Pharisees left and didn’t stone her?” Dr. Montague explained.
“I seem to recall that story from Sunday School,” Dr. Rocher sipped some milk and ate some cookies.”
“Well in the CCP approved Chinese Bible translation of that chapter and verse, Jesus says, “I am a sinful man myself and even though I am a sinful man, I am going to fulfill the law” and he picks up the rocks and stones her to death himself,” Dr. Montague noted.
“What?” This time Dr. Rocher was genuinely shocked, “Jesus Christ is presented as both a sinful man and a murderer in the CCP Chinese Bible translation that Pope Francis approved?”.
“He is,” Dr. Montague nodded.
“Wow,” Dr. Rocher was stunned by this news.
“So maybe Francis is more a Vicar of an Alien Saviour rather than a Vicar of Christ,” Dr. Montague noted.
“And maybe someone in the Vatican wants to use drugs (like in a mind control cult that uses drugs for mind control),” Dr. Montague went on, “to get the world’s population to accept a supposedly alien ET saviour when he arrives.”
“How would you get most of the world’s population to use this drug to accept someone as an alien ET saviour?” Dr. Rocher asked.
“What,” Dr. Montague went on like an enthusiastic Sherlock Holmes at 221 B Baker Baker Street, “if it was put into a vaccine to battle what is called a worldwide pandemic?”.
This year’s 2020 Sci-Fi Cyborg Nativity Scene in Saint Peter’s Square:
Conditioning humanity to accept an Alien ET Saviour?
Aliens, aliens, everywhere and not a drop to drink?
But what about a drug rush?
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 14th
2020.
Nephilim Found and Stolen
Dr. Marmalade Montague was sitting in the main laboratory at Set Enterprises talking to Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster.
Michelangelo, being the silent aquatic type, didn’t say much although he did occasionally type on his waterproof tablet keyboard and Montague would read the message on his smart phone.
“The Rockefellers and the Rothschilds are Apostles of the Antichrist and that’s why they get along so well with Pope Francis and are setting up the Vatican Council For Inclusive Capitalism with him,” Michelangelo had written in his latest message.
“Renfield’s influence must be rubbing off on him,” Montague thought.
Montague was soon joined by the vampire archaeologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury who was the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s personal archaeologist.
When Ashbury was mortal, he had been the Oxford trained Egyptologist who had discovered Set’s tomb in Egypt back in 1918.
He had opened the tomb at exactly 11 AM Greenwich Mean Time on November 11th 1918 (the exact same minute the Great Armistice came into effect ending the Great War- the War known to History as the First World War).
Set had been buried alive by his nephew Horus after Set had exiled Horus’ father Osiris to a planet near the star Sirius through the use of a magic spell.
When Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury lay dying from a sword wound in 1936 after a swordfight in a duel (which the archaeologist/Egyptologist lost to an auditor for the British Inland Revenue Department), Set had turned him into a vampire before he succumbed to his mortal sword wound.
And thus Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Lovecraft Ashbury had become the vampire Set’s personal nocturnal nighttimes operation archaeologist.
Back in 2006, Dr. Ashbury was now telling Dr. Montague, he had discovered the perfectly preserved body of a Nephilim (one of a race of giants mentioned in the Book of Genesis Chapter 6 who were the offspring of immortal Watcher Angels and mortal human women) in Iraq.
“So, where is the Nephilim now?” Dr. Marmalade Montague asked.
“Unfortunately the body was stolen by a group of men who were working for the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation,” Dr. Ashbury answered.
“What did the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation want with the body of a Nephilim?” Dr. Montague inquired.
“They extracted DNA from the Nephilim,” the voice of British MP Renfield R. Renfield spoke up from behind Dr. Montague, “and it was that DNA along with the DNA of the infamous Australian Uncle Ernie that Gates’ researchers included as ingredients into the mRNA vaccine for the CCP Wuhan Virus (called Covid-19 by WHO).”
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
December 12th
2020.
Marmalade and Fauci and Golgotha The Enchantress
The Paris baker (who lost his bakery in the spring 2020 Paris lockdown) Dr. Marmalade Montague who now fancied himself the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze come to the future of 2020 was talking to Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher who gave the former baker a job.
“Is it possible for a virus to develop consciousness?” Dr. Montague asked.
“I don’t know,” Dr. Rocher answered, “No virus in the past ever has to our knowledge. And as for viruses of the future, we can’t say because we’re not there to examine them.”
“And any virus in the present?” Dr. Montague inquired.
Dr. Rocher took off his glasses and wiped them, “That’s a pretty terrifying possibility.”
. . .
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was picking up a vision from the past from a few days ago.
The vision was of Dr. Anthony Fauci talking to his stockbroker.
“Yes, Bob, I’d like to know how much money I invested in the development of the UK Covid vaccine,” Dr. Fauci wiped his glasses, “And how much of a financial return I can get back on that?”.
“Tony,” his stockbroker answered, “You haven’t invested any money in the development of the UK Covid vaccine.”
“I haven’t?” Dr. Fauci was stunned.
He thought he had.
“So, Tony,” his stockbroker explained, “Your financial return on that would amount to zero.”
Yesterday Dr. Anthony Fauci told Fox News that the UK had not reviewed its vaccine as carefully as U.S. health regulators had reviewed the American vaccine.
He later told CBS News in a later interview that the UK had rushed the approval of its vaccine.
. . .
Golgotha the daughter of Lilith walking in the forest near her mother’s estate near Astana Kazakhstan with her trusted hawk Horus sitting on her witches’ stang.
She turned and looked at the stranger who had long white hair and a long white beard.
“You’re far from Britain, Wise Old One,” Golgotha noted.
“You recognize me?” Merlin asked.
“I do,” Golgotha answered, “I thought Morgan had imprisoned you in the trunk of a hawthorn tree.”
“She had,” Merlin answered, “but I escaped.”
“It appears,” said Golgotha, “that a lot of ancient and medieval players are returning to the world stage.”
Not far from the River Jordan the Great God Pan was starting to stir at that moment.
Awakening from a very long sleep.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 3rd
2020.
Dr. Marmalade Montague’s Dandelion Remedy While Dr. Cadbury Rocher Plans For A New Crusader
Dr. Marmalade Montague (who didn’t hold a Doctorate in anything) was Set Enterprises’ resident eccentric.
He drank Russian tea from a Russian samovar but didn’t add lemon and honey to it like the Russians did.
Instead he added lime and maple syrup.
Marmalade Montague had been a baker with his own bakery for most of his professional life.
However that bakery went belly up during the Covid-19 lockdown in Paris France this past spring.
Going insane, he fancied himself the court scientist to the court of King Louis Quatorze who had fallen into a time warp and was taken from the reign of the Sun King to this year of 2020.
Marmalade Montague believed that it was his purpose to find an antidote or vaccine for the Covid virus.
Flying from Paris to London in a balloon, Dr. Montague showed up at the door of Set Enterprises Laboratories where Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher took pity on him and gave him a job with his own small office and even smaller laboratory to play in.
Now Dr. Montague had heard the news that Donald Trump along with First Lady Melania had tested positive for Covid-19 and the U.S. President had been flown by helicopter to the Walter Reed Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland.
Montague was currently working on a remedy for the virus using dandelions.
This new “scientific” approach was brought on by a dream he had where Oscar Wilde had met the Lion King and as Simba was wearing a pink dress and ballet slippers, Wilde had remarked, “Well, aren’t you the dandy lion?”.
Montague got on the phone to Walter Reed where he recommended to hospital authorities that Trump be injected with dandelion wine.
Later Montague had heard on the news that Trump was being given a dose of “experimental antibodies”.
Montague had text messaged Dr. Cadbury Rocher with this news wondering if the “experimental antibodies” being given Trump were his (the Dr. Marmalade Montague) recipe for a Covid remedy involving dandelion wine with a dash of borscht soup.
When Dr. Cadbury Rocher received the text message from Dr. Marmalade Montague, Dr. Rocher remarked to Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster, “I somehow very much doubt it.”
Dr. Rocher was sitting in the aquarium room alongside Michelangelo (who was playing the harp- a waterproof wooden harp with waterproof strings- in his lobster tank).
Rocher was working on a project of his own.
After long talks with British MP Renfield R. Renfield, Dr. Rocher had become convinced that Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan (the would be Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire) was becoming an increasing danger to the world.
Over the past summer Erdogan had converted 10 Byzantine Orthodox Christian churches and monasteries in Turkey into Islamic mosques.
Now there was the war between Armenia and Azerbaijan that had erupted the past week.
Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit reports were showing that it was Erdogan who was clearly behind the conflict.
Armenian Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan had told French newspaper Le Figaro today that it had evidence that Turkish Military Command is controlling Azerbaijan’s military operations in the disputed territory of Nagorno-Karabakh.
The Syrian Observatory For Human Rights had just issued a report saying that Turkey had now smuggled over 900 opposition fighters against Assad in Syria through Turkey into Azerbaijan to join the fight against the Armenians.
And now a group of Chaldean Catholic Bishops had also issued a report stating that Turkish military units were now attacking Christian villages in eastern Iraq.
Something would have to be done.
The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s personal archaeologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury (who had in fact discovered Set’s tomb in Egypt in November 1918) had recently discovered the grave of a Scottish Crusader who had fought alongside Richard The Lion Hearted in the Third Crusade.
The Crusader Leonard MacDavid was found to have his brains still intact in his skull (a powerful indication that the Scottish Crusader had never entered politics).
Dr. Rocher had resolved to put those brains inside a body and bring the Crusader back to life to lead a Crusade and fight against Erdogan.
He wondered in what body he should put Leonard MacDavid’s brains.
Dr. Rocher and Michelangelo were currently watching the 1975 comedy/fantasy film Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
He particularly watched with interest the scene involving the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 2nd
2020.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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