Dashwood Forrest and Mulligan The Irish Zombie On O’ Connell Street In Dublin

March 18, 2018 at 10:55 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Dashwood Forrest and Mulligan The Irish Zombie On O’ Connell Street In Dublin

Dashwood Forrest and his manservant Mulligan the Irish ☘️ Zombie 🧟‍♂️ were having breakfast 🥞 🍳 in a restaurant at a hotel on O’ Connell Street in Dublin.

Mulligan was nursing a king sized hangover having drank too many glasses of Kilkenny Irish Cream Ale on the Hill of Tara in County Meath for Saint Patrick’s Day yesterday.

He did give away one of his glasses of Kilkenny to a golden cobra named Maitreya who was undergoing an old Celtic Pagan ritual to make the snake the High King of Ireland.

But he did so in a hypnotic state (which would be the only possible state in which Mulligan the Irish Zombie 🧟‍♂️ would give away an alcoholic beverage that happened to be in his possession).

“If you don’t mind my saying so, you look to be in awfully bad shape,” the waiter said to Mulligan.

“That’s because I’ve got a hangover,” Mulligan answered while drinking tomato juice laced with three raw eggs 🥚 and Worcestershire sauce.

“You also look to be dead,” the waiter remarked as some of Mulligan’s decomposing flesh fell on his breakfast plate of kipper and poached eggs.

“I am,” Mulligan started leaking tomato juice and Worcestershire sauce from his armpits, “I’m a zombie.”

“If you’re a zombie, then why aren’t you sitting in the Dail (Irish Parliament)?” The waiter asked.

“There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t ask myself that very question,” Mulligan was debating with himself on whether or not he should order a Guinness as he noticed the old antique clock on the hotel restaurant wall was only 1 minute away from 12 noon.

“Who raised you from the dead?” The waiter asked.

“It was a South African witch doctor called Dr. Sterling Makabo who raised me from the dead,” Mulligan cut himself a slice of kipper and put it on his fork, “although he had actually been hired to raise my neighbour who was buried next to me in the cemetery from the dead but his corpse was still at his wake. A wake that apparently went on for fourteen days I might add. So when my neighbour did not answer Doctor Makabo’s call, I decided to do so. With the result that I’m now living the life of Riley.”

“Riley was the name of the man in the grave next to him,” Dashwood Forrest explained, “the fellow that Dr. Makabo was supposed to raise from the dead but his body was still at his wake as his buddies had been drinking so much, they forgot to take him to both his funeral and burial services.”

“Only in Ireland 🇮🇪 would this happen,” the waiter shook his head.

“I would have to agree,” Dashwood Forrest smelled the rose in his lapel.

At that moment on the television in the restaurant, the image of British MP Renfield R. Renfield appeared to comment on Vladimir Putin’s landslide Presidential election 🗳 victory in Russia 🇷🇺.

As Renfield pointed to a photo of Putin and made Freemasonic death by disembowelling gestures with his hands that would send YouTube conspiracy theory channel hosts into a whirlwind of frenzy, Mulligan remarked to Dashwood Forrest, “There’s the fellow who saved me from drowning in a bowl of punch at your mermaid 🧜‍♀️ painting art exhibit in London last year.”

“Was that before or after you became a zombie 🧟‍♂️?” The waiter asked.

“After,” Mulligan replied, “My mortal pre-zombie life came to an end when I drowned in a vat of Guinness.”

And speaking of Guinness, the antique clock in the restaurant struck 12 noon.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 18th
2018.

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A Mermaid On Boxing Day

December 26, 2017 at 9:00 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

A Mermaid On Boxing Day

Gordon “The Black” Donnelly had won his Boxing Day fight in the boxing ring.

He left the broken down warehouse where he had boxed and walked down to the pier.

He was covered in sweat and blood.

He reflected on the past 8 years of his life ever since he had been brought back from the dead by South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo.

As a boxer, he had fought in Ontario back in the 1880s and in California back in the 1890s.

He had retired from boxing in 1899 and moved to Honolulu where he died on June 6th 1910.

Dr. Makabo had raised him from the dead in June 2009 on behalf of a billionaire sports promoter who wanted to sponsor a boxer that would someday win the World Heavyweight Title.

And the promoter thought a supernaturally controlled boxer as in one brought back from the dead would be able to do that.

It was true Gordon “The Black” Donnelly had never lost a fight in the past 8 years.

But he still wasn’t seen as a contender namely because boxing was no longer the sport it once was.

UFC Fighting had taken away a lot of the promoters and big money.

Donnelly stood on the pier and looked down at the water.

He noticed the face of a startlingly beautiful woman staring up at him from underneath the water.

Thinking she was drowning, Donnelly jumped in.

Underneath the water, he noticed the woman was topless with a firm sumptuous pair of breasts.

He looked down and noticed the rest of her was one giant fish tail.

“A mermaid?” Donnelly thought to himself.

The shock of encountering a mermaid caused the living dead boxer to lose consciousness.

The mermaid quickly grabbed the unconscious boxer and dragged him up to the shore.

She administered mouth to mouth while in the distance a choir hired by a store for its Boxing Day sale sang, “Good King Wenceslas looked out on the Feast of Stephen…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 26th
2017.

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Spirit of Victor Frankenstein Lives On In 3 Mad Scientists

April 26, 2011 at 10:20 pm (Horror, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

So, having agreed on a plan of action, the three scientists left the George And Dragon Pub just a few minutes after midnight on Easter Sunday morning April 24th 2011.

Their first stop was the Scotland Yard lab where Dr. Nicht Werhoffen removed from a jar what was left of the brain of Giza Investments Ltd. CEO Trevor Fontaine.

They then dropped by the Set Enterprises lab where Dr. Cadbury Rocher removed from a jar part of the heart of the ancient Egyptian deity Atum-Ra.

Dr. Sterling Makabo then went to see a Gypsy spiritist medium (a real one who could actually see spirits and not just claimed to see spirits) named Psychedelia to accompany them to Highgate Cemetery and on the way see if there were any disembodied spirits wandering the streets of London in search of a body.

It just so happened there was.

The spirit of the slain ancient Egyptian vampire Horus was busy wandering the streets of London ever since he lost his earthly channel Trevor Fontaine.

The three scientists and Psychedelia invited him along for the nocturnal ride (metaphorically speaking).

They then arrived at Highgate Cemetery where Dr. Nicht Werhoffen’s Stasi burglary break-and-enter skills came in handy.

They entered the mausoleum of Heathcliff Dionysus Campbell where Dr. Cadbury Rocher had heard the body of the slain and popular Death Heavy Metal Lord Stryker had been put.

They took the lid off the sarcophagus where Stryker’s body lay.

Dr. Werhoffen made an incision in Stryker’s skull where he poured in pieces of Trevor Fontaine’s brain.

He then sewed up the incision.

Dr. Rocher made an incision into Stryker’s heart where he then inserted part of the heart of Atum-Ra.

He then sewed up the incision.

Dr. Sterling Makabo then used his black magic skills to re-animate Stryker’s corpse and bring it back to life.

As the corpse was re-animated, the Gypsy medium Psychedelia told the disembodied vampiric spirit of Horus to now enter the body.

Of course at that moment, the ghost of the Heavy Metal rocker Stryker also happened to walk by and seeing his body restored to life- likewise chose to re-enter his body at the same time as the spirit of Horus.

Makabo cast the spell sealing the spirits inside the body at that moment.

“Shit, you’ve got two spirits in there,” Dr. Nicht Werhoffen cried out.

“Oh well, this Resurrected entity will just happen to have a split personality,” Dr. Cadbury Rocher shrugged, “maybe in his spare time he can get a blog at Xanga since there are a number of Xanga bloggers who seem to have split and multiple personalities.”

“We must take him back to the Set Enterprises lab to inject him with that eternal life synthetic blood you’re working on,” Dr. Makabo said.

“Indeed,” Rocher agreed.

At that moment, the 3 scientists and the gypsy medium could hear drunken shouting nearby.

“Let’s get out of here,” said Werhoffen.

The other two scientists and the gypsy medium followed leaving behind a totally confused Resurrected entity inside the mausoleum.

The drunken shouting was being done by a British bank executive who was shouting to the dead (in case, they could hear it) that Communism would probably rise again.

And this was what Mikhail Gorbachev planned all along, the banker shouted.

Unlike others in the Soviet Politbureau who were just in it for the power, Gorbachev was a Marxist-Leninist true believer.

So Gorbachev let the eastern European satellites go and allowed for the dissolution of the Soviet Union knowing that the West would be lulled to sleep.

And when the inevitable collapse of total laissez-faire capitalism came as Gorbachev knew it would, the globalized interconnected and inter-related and interdependent nations of the world would willingly embrace a Marxist one-world government.

The banker then started vomiting over Karl Marx’s tomb.

And continued to vomit there the rest of the night and early morning.

Until Stryker’s three mini-skirted groupie young women happened to pass him.

And the 3 women would spot the empty tomb.

And would see the empty coffin.

And Miranda the redhead would be the first to see the risen Stryker that Easter Sunday morn.

To be continued.

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