Apple, Pomegranate… Or Me?

August 18, 2018 at 10:42 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Apple, Pomegranate… Or Me?

Three rabbis walked into a bar.

After having been in the next door delicatessen where they had bought kosher smoked meat and kosher rye bread to make sandwiches.

The three were having a violent argument.

One rabbi argued that the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden was an apple 🍎 since the logo on his Mac computer told him so.

Another rabbi argued that the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden was in fact a pomegranate since his knowledge of the location of the Garden of Eden and knowledge of Middle Eastern history and geography and botany told him so.

The third rabbi argued that it might have been a tomato 🍅 or a banana 🍌 since his leather skirted dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes and a conversation with a Muslim imam had alerted him to those possibilities.

The bartender insisted that it was a watermelon 🍉 since he owned a watermelon stand in addition to his kosher tavern business.

A hairstylist named Samson insisted that it was an avocado 🥑 since the Twitterer-In-Chief’s red spider monkey fake news hairpiece toupee had told him so.

The long-haired Samson then threw the three rabbis out of the bar and headed off to sleep with his girlfriend Delilah (a fellow hairstylist) for the night prior to having a wrestling match against Dwayne The Rock Johnson tomorrow.

Little did Samson realize that his girlfriend Delilah had placed a $500,000 bet with a Las Vegas bookie for the Rock to win.

Otherwise he might not have been so anxious to go to her place.

He arrived in her bedroom where Delilah had the betting paper 📝 with the name of the Rock on it next to a pair of scissors ✂️ on her drawer.

It was all there.

Paper. Rock. Scissors.

But sadly for him, he didn’t notice.

. . .

Eve woke up.

The blonde beauty in her black nightie mini dress had had a disturbing dream.

But for the life of her, she couldn’t remember what it was.

She thought she saw some sort of reflection in her bedroom mirror.

So she walked over for a closer look.

It was then she encountered the following (what she had dreamed about earlier):

Rose or fruit?

. . .

Multitudes of millennia earlier, another Eve awakened.

The Eve who was the mother of us all.

The Eve who had eaten the Forbidden Fruit and therefore knew what fruit 🍉 🍎 🍌 🍅 it was.

The Eve who along with her husband Adam had been expelled from the Garden of Eden.

The Eve who had been seduced by Lucifer with his serpent like wiles.

And the Phoenix (possessed by Lucifer with its beautiful multicoloured feathers and wings) was turned into a slithering snake 🐍 forced to crawl on its belly.

The Phoenix with its beautiful colours and wings and feathers would live on in the memories of the Far East with that region’s accounts of the beautiful colourful winged dragons 🐉 that were in fact beneficent in character.

The snake (formerly the Phoenix) would live on in the memories of the Western world as the dragons of fierce countenance who were malevolent in character.

Eve awoke.

She who had given birth to Cain and Abel.

And now one son Cain had slain the other Abel.

Eve wept.

“Eve,” a voice spoke.

It was her husband Adam.

She looked at him.

He looked different.

“Come know me,” his hands reached out to her.

She approached him.

She did not bother to notice the strange sinister red glow in his eyes.

And so Eve once again came to know her “husband Adam”.

But really she had once again come to know the “Voice behind the forbidden fruit”.

Eve gave birth to Lilith 9 months later.

Eventually Eve would come to know her actual husband Adam again and give birth to Seth.

But before Seth she had given birth to Lilith.

Lilith.

Daughter of Eve.

Lilith.

Daughter of Lucifer.

Lilith.

The world’s first vampiress.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 18th
2018.

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Lizards and Wizards: A Poem

April 15, 2016 at 7:08 pm (Horror, Mystery/horror, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Lizards and Wizards: A Poem

It was a land where giant tulip bulbs grew
that grew in soil blood drenched through and through
The bulbs blood red in colour
like the soil that bled the Earth-Mother
And eating the bulbs were huge flamingoes
not pink like on your lawn goes
but blood red like the seed of human sacrifice
when all other oblations no longer suffice

And rising rising from the blood soaked ground
in a huge puff of red tinged smoke that twirled round and round
arose a wild-haired wild eyed looking wizard
who in a test tube carried a small red lizard
He lifted up high his feathered wand
in the clouds emerged a land beyond
With his left hand he lifted high his trusted wand
and with his right, emptied the test tube like a martini shaker for Bond
The lizard then fell to the earth beneath
an infernal inheritance to bequeath
The lizard grew into a huge red dragon
one possibly stolen from Hades’ wagon
The dragon then sprouted wings
like Pegasus at Pierian Springs
And flew into the land that lay beyond the clouds
A land soon to be covered by death’s dark shrouds.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 14th 2016.

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The Dragon On The Moon: A Poem

February 5, 2016 at 7:46 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

The Dragon On The Moon

Signs of a dragon on the moon
the clock has ticked long past noon
The midnight hands now signal doom
and stormy mists rise up in gloom

When I saw you in the sky
millions of souls were about to die
the globe of the world spins by and by
and Earth’s last groan is but a sigh

The dragon hovered above the dome
breathing invisible fire over the City of Rome
and while Neptune’s sea did spit and foam
many sought the safety of the place called home

Is this dragon dream meant to be
on this blue dot floating in cosmic sea
or are they but shadows of possibility
dark things that befall the world needlessly
when Hate replaces Love as the fruit of Life’s tree?

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday February 5th 2016.

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When Dragons Make Love: A Haiku

July 23, 2015 at 7:22 pm (Folklore, Mythology, Nature, Poetry, The Supernatural) (, , , , )

When Dragons Make Love: A Haiku

When dragons make love
thunder roars and lightnings flash
hail stones hail new birth

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The Dancing Dragon: A Poem

January 11, 2015 at 9:46 pm (Fantasy, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Dancing Dragon: A Poem

The dragon danced
with ants down his pants
and that’s why he danced
when you’ve got the itch
then life is a bitch
all you want to do is scratch
with another to match
The Emperor Wu watched the dragon dance
seeing it quite by chance
and was so impressed
he ordered his courtiers dressed
in the costume of a dragon
and jumping off the wagon
would dance through the streets of Beijing
where there was no peeking
under the dancing dragon’s costume bold
emblazoned in bright colours of red and gold
so the tradition continues each Lunar New Year
where the dragon dances to quite a loud cheer.

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday January 11th 2015.

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Green Tea For A Green Dragon

February 18, 2013 at 11:22 pm (Humour, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Green tea for a green dragon

because he was on the wagon

his early days he spent drinking green absinthe

which caused him to lose his common sense

and so this led him to join AA

to escape the clutches of the green fair-ee.

 

 

 

Although he was no Oscar Wilde

he was considered a precious child

-a youthful 1000 years-

at concerts he gave many bronx cheers

and although he tried to be another Charles Baudelaire

his style of French just could not compare

and so he tried painting like Toulouse-Lautrec

but only ended up a nervous wreck

and he lost the chance to meet Hemingway

when he missed the train at Santa Fe.

 

 

And so his youth was misspent

he had no money to pay the rent

and thus he ended up on the street

where gangsta dudes made fun of his feet.

“I can’t help being a dragon,”  said he

burying his heart at wounded knee

and so he went on the wagon

this absinthe drinking green dragon

and that’s why these days you’ll only see

our hero dragon drinking green tea.

 

 

 

 

 

-A poem written by Christopher

 circa 3:28 PM Saturday afternoon

 February 16th 2013.

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