Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

March 26, 2020 at 10:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was having a conversation with British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Both men were 6 meters away from one another so they wouldn’t be shot by killer drones recently commandeered by WHO (the World Health Organization) for those who violated the world body’s social distancing rules.

Athelstan was also wearing a face mask.

Although whether this was because he feared getting the Coronavirus or because he had just cleaned out the kitty litter box belonging to Nefertiti Galore (the vampire Set’s fiercely protective house cat) is a matter for speculation.

“So, Mr. Renfield,” Athelstan coughed through his face mask, “I hear that Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam issued an Executive Order this past Monday making it a criminal offense to hold a Church service with more than 10 people present. If found guilty, people could be imprisoned for 12 months and/or fined $2,500.”

“I imagine,” Renfield lit his pipe, “that the Baal and Baphomet worshipping Marxist despot Ralph Northam was positively ejaculating in ecstasy and orgasm at being able to sign such an Executive Order. I don’t imagine he’ll ever bother rescinding it even when the pandemic is over.”

“Probably not, sir,” Athelstan dusted off a portrait painting of the late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher dressed in a medieval Iron Maiden torture chamber item suit, “Did you hear that Pope Francis’ personally designated papal successor Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle is saying let’s overcome the Coronavirus with a pandemic of love?”.

“Well,” Renfield sipped his pipe, “Isn’t that jackass just the epitome of romance?”.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was flying a magic shamrock flying carpet from his rented farmhouse in Vermont to New York City.

Yaldabaoth had recently left Ireland after that country had closed all its pubs (As Yaldabaoth remarked at the time, “You know a world situation is serious when it forces Ireland to close all its pubs.”)

He had gone to Vermont hoping that the pubs would be open.

Many of them were closed but lucky for Yaldabaoth, there were plenty of Vermont country gentlemen who made their own moonshine.

Yaldabaoth rented his Vermont farmstead from another Irish leprechaun The Fantastic Flanigan.

The Fantastic Flanigan had the honour of being the world’s shortest UFC fighter.

He also had the honour of being the world’s only always defeated UFC fighter.

Generally all the other UFC fighters used the Fantastic Flanigan as practice for the day the old medieval sport of dwarf tossing was once again brought back into the world.

It so happened that the Fantastic Flanigan owned a flying carpet (made from magic shamrocks) so he had left it behind in the barn for Yaldabaoth to use.

Flanigan was currently spending his social isolation time at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada.

As Yaldabaoth approached New York City, he was shocked to see the Big Apple surrounded by an army of Dullahans (A Dullahan was a black horse riding headless horseman of death).

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 26th
2020

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Coronavirus and The Emergence of The Dullahan

March 11, 2020 at 10:49 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Sports, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Coronavirus and The Emergence of The Dullahan

With stock markets crashing, Democratic Presidential candidates cancelling events, professional sports teams cancelling the rest of their seasons and health experts scrambling to come up with a response, Donald Trump was busy sneezing into Keep America Great hats that he was autographing for his most enthusiastic supporters.

Down at the Vatican, Pope Francis entered a room and was shocked to find that it was stacked with rolls of toilet paper that went all the way up to the room’s high ceiling.

“What’s this all about?” Pope Francis asked his papal secretary.

“Well,” his papal secretary, who was wearing a flashy rhinestone laced pink ensemble designed by a Milan fashion designer who also designed stage costumes for Sir Elton John back in the day of his tours, replied, “after watching those news clips of California buyers going crazy in COSTCO stores, the boys and I decided we should really be prepared in case we have to self-isolate.”

“Really?” Pope Francis gazed at the miles and miles of toilet paper that stretched to the ceiling like giant killer Jack’s magic beanstalks on steroids, “I had no idea that my Vatican team was so full of it.”

And in London, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having a FaceTime video conversation with his friend Amadeus Emanon who was in Australia helping to rescue koalas, kangaroos and other wildlife from the Australian wildfires.

“Even the moving dinners at the Road Kill Cafe out in the outback are wearing surgical face masks over their faces as they cross the road to get run over and become someone’s entree special,” Amadeus remarked.

Meanwhile in a doctor’s office in Sydney, Australia, a physician, who was wearing the mother of all hazmat outfits to end all hazmat outfits, read aloud to the Road Kill Cafe’s best customer Uncle Ernie the just returned results of his test for the Coronavirus.

The NBA announced the cancelling of the rest of the professional basketball season as a result of a Utah Jazz team player coming down with the Coronavirus.

Tomorrow the NHL would be announcing it would be doing the same with the rest of the professional hockey season.

This month’s World Figure Skating Championships in Montreal, Quebec had likewise been cancelled.

In Tokyo, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe announced that the 2020 Summer Olympics were still going ahead although the media found the sight of a supernatural Yamabushi samurai warrior committing hari kari in the background during the Prime Ministerial announcement somewhat disconcerting.

Meanwhile in Ireland, the Dullahan of Irish Celtic mythology was preparing to ride forth across the world.

The Dullahan- a headless horseman dressed all in black (carrying his own head in his own arm) riding a black horse.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 11th
2020.

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