Anubis In Rome

February 24, 2015 at 8:34 pm (Fantasy, Horror, Mythology, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Anubis In Rome

It was night time.

And the Egyptian jackal- headed god Anubis was walking the streets of Rome.

He was here because he had heard that the ancient Egyptian deity Osiris was now living here and he hoped to speak to him.

Anubis’ jackal head was a metallic cyborg looking jackal head.

He was stopped on the streets of Rome by some science-fiction loving nerd who still lived in his parents’ basement (as original Star Trek TV series star William Shatner once observed about all science-fiction loving nerds) who asked him for his autograph.

Anubis signed a piece of paper for the man and the science-fiction loving nerd expressed surprise that he looked so much like the Anubis depicted in the movie Stargate with his metallic cyborg looking jackal head.

Anubis walked on.

He had never seen the movie Stargate.

The reason he had a metallic cyborg looking jackal head was because a couple of weeks ago he had made the mistake of visiting Libya where he had been captured by ISIS (the Islamist terrorist group not the ancient Egyptian goddess) who thought he was a Coptic Christian and beheaded his original flesh-and-blood jackal head.

What low intelligence these ISIS supporters must have, Anubis thought at the time.

Mistaking him an ancient Egyptian deity for a Coptic Christian.

Since he was a super vampiric super immortal, the act of beheading him did not kill him.

Instead he took his severed head and flew to London (much to the discomfort of flight attendants and his fellow passengers) and then clandestinely met Dr. Cadbury Rocher who was the chief research scientist for the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set aka the ancient Egyptian god of storms, the desert, chaos and war.

The meeting was clandestine because Anubis didn’t want Dr. Rocher’s boss Set to know about it.

Anubis’ severed head had deteriorated somewhat by the time it reached Dr. Rocher.

So Dr. Rocher put it in a special chemical solution for preservation until he had figured out a way it could be repaired.

In the meantime, Dr. Rocher gave Anubis a metallic cyborg looking jackal head as a replacement.

Dr. Rocher had obviously seen the movie Stargate, Anubis thought to himself as he walked the streets of Rome in search of Osiris.

His metallic cyborg eyes weren’t as good as his natural jackal eyes Anubis thought to himself as he bumped into a street lamp and asked it, “Excuse me but are you Osiris by any chance?”.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 24th

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Cardinal JM and The Heart of Atum-Ra

March 7, 2014 at 11:16 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Cardinal JM and The Heart of Atum-Ra

Cardinal JM although a member of the College of Cardinals and the Vatican Curia was a worshipper of the ancient pagan gods.

Last night one of the two ancient deities that he devotedly worshipped Zeus ( the other deity was Apollo) appeared to him at his bedside and told him, “My most devoted servant I want you to consecrate Italy to the sacred heart of my good friend Atum-Ra tomorrow at noon.”

So Cardinal JM got up the next morning and awakened his secretary Father Oliver Thomas Wardenclyffe.

Although Father Wardenclyffe was already awake. He was busy sodomizing a young man he kept in his Vatican office that he called Hyacinth.

When Father Wardenclyffe heard Cardinal JM’s instructions, they went to Cardinal JM’s personal private chapel together.

Inside Cardinal JM’s private chapel there was ne’er a Cross nor Crucifix to be found.

So demons and most vampires and American megachurch Pastor Rick Warren would have felt right at home there.

Father Wardenclyffe put on top of the altar an ancient Egyptian statue of the god Atum-Ra.

Cardinal JM then went up to the altar and spoke in Latin (since his ancient Egyptian was a little rusty although much better than that of Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith) the words of consecration consecrating Italy to the sacred heart of Atum-Ra.

Father Wardenclyffe then put on top of the altar a globe of the world below the statue of Atum-Ra.

He had pencilled in a huge X on top of the Italian peninsula.

Then he had pencilled in a huge arrow on the Adriatic Sea pointing to the left and had pencilled above it the words X Marks The Spot so as to be sure that the god Atum-Ra wouldn’t miss it.

Some 666 seconds after the words of consecration were spoken, a huge giant beating heart appeared above the altar- the Heart of Atum-Ra.

Above the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica the cry of a cock crowing twice could be heard.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 7th

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The Revenge of Isis

December 19, 2013 at 5:37 pm (Commentary, History, News, Satire, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Revenge of Isis

The Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis sat seething in a Parisienne sidewalk cafe.

Russian President Vladimir Putin was really starting to piss her off.

First, last December 21st, a Russian nuclear submarine had fired a laser death ray at the spaceship returning her brother, husband and lover Osiris to earth disintegrating both spaceship and Osiris.

Now she had a lot more pieces of Osiris to pick up and re-assemble together than she did the time Osiris was dismembered and cut up into 14 pieces by her brother, brother-in-law and enemy Set millenia ago.

A group of the world’s best particle physicists she had assembled to put Osiris together again.

But it was slow painstaking work.

They worked around the clock.

The night team of particle physicists were called All The King’s Horses.

And the day team of particle physicists were called All The King’s Men.

Osiris himself was designated by the U.S. Secret Service code name Humpty Dumpty according to the leaked Edward Snowden documents.

Now Putin was pissing her off again by arranging a financial bailout of Ukraine.

Putin’s puppet President of Ukraine Viktor Yanukovych had rejected EU integration and had received a financial bailout and cheaper Russian natural gas as a result.

By doing so, Ukraine was preventing her puppets from taking power, Isis thought as she angrily bit into an orange.

How dare Putin oppose her New World Order.

After all this had been something she and her exiled lover Osiris (Osiris had been exiled to the star system of Sirius by a black magic spell cast by their enemy Set- the black magic spell did have an expiry date- something that had been known to the Mayans, the Aztecs and the Hopi Indians but not the seer Nostradamus despite the claims of fictional History Channel programs)
had been planning for centuries.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 19th

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