The Egyptian Vampiress Isis In The City of Florence

March 28, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Egyptian Vampiress Isis In The City of Florence 

The Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis allowed the full rays of the sun to bask on her face.

You may ask how is it possible for a vampiress to bask in the rays of the sun without becoming grilled to a crisp like a shrimp in a Louisiana Cajun restaurant?

The answer lay in a very powerful sunblock that had been developed many years ago by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

However the sunblock for what ever reason only worked on vampiresses and not vampires.

Dr. Rocher made his discovery when trying the sunblock out on his two initial test subjects.

The sanity challenged scientist (who was the great grandson of immortal London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes and the great great grandson of 19th Century London criminal overlord Prof. James Moriarty – yes, Sherrielock Holmes had married Dr. Louis Rocher who was the illegitimate son of her twin brother’s mortal enemy although at the time neither Sherrielock nor Dr. Louis Rocher knew that the evil Prof. Moriarty was Louis’ real father) decided to pick an unpopular vampiress and an unpopular vampire to use as his test subjects since if they fried to a crisp in the daylight, no one would miss them.

For the unpopular vampiress, he picked a distant ancestress of the obnoxious Kardashian clan since being a Kardashian, she was regarded as being overrated in her field which in her case, her field was being a vampiress.

Sadly for those who despise the Kardashians, the sunblock worked on the vampiress ancestress of the Kardashian clan.

The vampiress Countess Kardashian went on to open up her own Instagram account where her pictures of her sucking the life force out of various mortal humans (an attribute passed on to her descendants) attracted over 10 million followers.

As for an unpopular vampire, Dr. Rocher selected Herr Daryl Larry Snerd a nighttime tax auditor for the American IRS.

Sadly for Herr Snerd, he went up in flames like the Hindenburg having a bad day over New Jersey.

After examining the compounds of the sunblock as well as analyzing the DNA in the vampiric blood samples he took from Countess Kardashian and Herr Snerd (prior to sending them out in the daylight as an LP record played Gale Garnett singing “We’ll sing in the sunshine…” in the background of what turned out to be the shortest lived duet in history as Countess Kardashian ended up singing solo), he determined that there was something about the female genetic makeup that allowed the sunblock to work on vampiresses but not vampires.

Of course transgendered vampires insisted that the sunblock would work on them since they had been born in the wrong gender.

But when they went up like a building on Arsonists’ Appreciation Day, the ghost of Col. Sanders would boot Lady Gaga singing Born This Way out of the way and start singing Fried That Way.

And so thanks to Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s efforts of many years ago, the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis (sister and sister-in-law of the London-based Egyptian vampire Set) was able to enjoy the city of Florence in the sunshine today without having to cope with loads of nauseating tourists since the city was under lockdown along with the rest of Italy.

She was approached by the ghost of the great Renaissance Florentine ruler Lorenzo de’ Medici (whom she had once met in the latter’s mortal lifetime).

“Good evening, your Majesty,” Lorenzo bowed to her, “I see you’re enjoying beautiful Florence in solitary peace and tranquility.”¬†

“I am, Lorenzo,” she smiled at him.

And with that ancient Egypt and Renaissance Italy briefly held hands as representatives of those two great civilizations watched the Florentine sun set.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 28th
2020.

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Harvey Tallbanger Meets Egyptian Vampiress On The Eiffel Tower

July 10, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Harvey Tallbanger Meets Egyptian Vampiress On The Eiffel Tower

After a successful month of intelligence gathering for the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set this past June, Set Enterprises’ secret agent and spy the 6 foot 8 invisible Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger was taking some much needed r and r.

He decided to go to Paris the City of Lights for a few days as he was quite fond of the city.

Tonight he was having dinner atop the Eiffel Tower in a very lovely restaurant located there.

He was enjoying a glass of champagne when he was suddenly spotted by the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis:

Isis with drink and iPhone and elegant watch in hand approached the tall bunny rabbit who was clearly visible on this lovely and enchanting Parisienne evening having turned his Dr. Cadbury Rocher prototype ViewMaster on (which made him visible).

“So you’re Harvey Tallbanger the world’s most famous bunny rabbit secret agent?” Isis sat across from him.

“I am,” Tallbanger bowed, “and you are?”.

“I am the Vampiress Isis,” the beautiful vampiress answered, “your boss Set’s rival, arch enemy, sister and sister-in-law.”

“Yes, I heard my boss had a falling out with your side of the family,” Tallbanger sipped his champagne, “I hear you and his brother (your husband) Osiris and his nephew (your son) Horus have it in for him.”

“And with justifiable reasons,” Isis flashed her vampiric incisors.

“What big teeth you have,” Harvey recalled lines from his favourite fairy tale, “I regrettably do not have a family to fight with as I was genetically created in Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s lab at Set Enterprises. It was seeing the 1950 Jimmy Stewart movie Harvey that gave Dr. Rocher the idea.”

“Why don’t you come and work for me?” Isis touched his rabbit’s foot for luck.

“Well I am under contract to Set for another 3 years,” Tallbanger noted, “and I don’t become a free agent spy until then.”

“It was rather unfair for Set to bring you out of the blue like that at last year’s secret agent and spy draft in Las Vegas,” Isis seethed, “The only reason he got first round draft pick was because of some deal he made years ago in which he traded Stormy Daniels to the Russians for last year’s first round draft pick.”

“It was my understanding that Vladimir Putin was able to achieve quite a great deal of success with that deal,” Tallbanger helped himself to some Russian caviar.

“Putin is a master chess player,” Isis finished her drink and waved to the waiter for another.

“I’ve been told you’re a master chess player as well,” Tallbanger ordered a tequila sunrise.

“Thank you,” Isis smiled at him, “and I intend to make use of a knight.”

“A lovely night for it,” Tallbanger commented.

Isis raised her glass in toast.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 10th
2019.

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Ernest Hemingway and The Vampiress In Red- A Poem

February 19, 2017 at 4:43 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Poetry, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

At his apartment window
he sat at the old typewriter
cigarette in his mouth
a glass of bourbon at his right hand

From his window he could see the Eiffel Tower
and the surrounding lights
Paris the City of Lights they called it
a most apt description

A bat flew in through the window
The hazards of having the window open
Hemingway reflected
He saw the bat heading towards the sofa
land on it
and turn into a beautiful Egyptian woman
in a lovely scarlet red evening dress

“My doctor said this might happen
if I didn’t stop drinking heavily”
Hemingway grabbed the bottle
and put it away in a bottom desk drawer
He was going to throw the contents
of the glass
on to the streets below
then thought better of it,
“It seems a pity to waste such good bourbon
on such unappreciative cobblestone”

He downed the glass’ contents in one quick swoop
“That’s the last drink I’ll ever take”
Hemingway announced to Paris and the world.
A sudden gust of wind entered the room
causing his dresser and mirror to shake
making it appear that his reflection
was laughing at him.

“I am quite real, Mr. Hemingway,”
said the beautiful Egyptian woman
in the red dress.
“I’m happy to hear that,”
Hemingway replied,
“it encourages me to take a second look
at this evening’s vow of abstinence.” .
“Abstinence from what, Mr. Hemingway?’
the vampiress Isis raised her dress
above her thighs
showing lovely pantyhose clad legs.

“Abstinence from drinking,” Hemingway replied,
“I’ve made no other pledge
in the past 24 hours,
past 24 minutes
or past 24 seconds.”

“I’m happy to hear that,”
the woman smiled showing lovely vampiric incisors.
“What big teeth you have, Grandma,” said Hemingway.
Isis laughed, “The better to bite you with, my dear.
I am Grandma times one thousand. I am Isis.”
“The goddess?” Hemingway asked.
“Very much the goddess,” Isis lay back on the sofa.
“Then let me worship at thine altar,”
Hemingway lay down on top of her
and kissed her breasts.

. . .

In a little Parisienne cafe
the vampire Set sat
after an evening spent
with Josephine Baker
Set was busy playing a game of chess
by himself

“I see you’ve got the black queen,”
Isis remarked
as she looked down
at the chess board.
Set looked up
into the eyes
of his sister and sister-in-law Isis.
“But I just took the white knight,”
Isis removed a chess piece off the board.

“How long shall we play this cosmic game
of chess, sister?” Set asked.
“Until there are no pieces left on the board,”
Isis answered.

When the light of dawn filtered through
the windows of the cafe,
no piece remained on the chess board
and all the players had gone home.

-A narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 9th
2017.

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The Death and Return of Apollo

January 6, 2017 at 5:33 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Mythology, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

In the year 390 AD, the Temple of Apollo at Delphi was destroyed under the Emperor Theodosius the Great who made Nicene Christianity the official state Church of the Roman Empire.

“I’m so depressed,” the Greek god Apollo had wept to the Ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

Lilith could see that Apollo had a broken heart so she gave him some poisoned Babylonian grapes that were capable of killing an Olympian immortal like Apollo.

Following the death of Apollo in 390 AD, the ancient Greco-Roman religion (itself in decline for several decades now since the Emperor Constantine’s victory at the Battle of the Milvian Bridge in 312 AD) rapidly died out so that there were very worshipers of the old Greco-Roman gods left by the time Theodosius himself died in 395 AD.

Zeus and the other Olympians went into the shadows and no more publicly acted in the domain of mortal men and women.

Apollo was buried on Mount Parnassus after his death but his tomb became lost to both god and man after a small quake shook Mount Parnassus.

Then in the year 2012 AD on the night of the summer solstice that year, Apollo’s tomb on Mount Parnassus was discovered by the French archaeologist vampire Dr. Pompidou De Gaulle (whose expeditions were sponsored by the Egyptian vampiress Isis) after sundown.

Apollo’s body was then flown to a medical lab in Berlin since German doctors in their pompous arrogance thought they could bring Apollo back from the dead.

They were mistaken and the medical team drowned their sorrows in gallons of sauerkraut and Bavarian beer.

Even famed South African witch doctor Sterling Makabo (famous for bringing people and animals back from the dead as zombies) could not raise Apollo.

Said Makabo, “Those poisonous ancient Babylonian grapes were quite effective in killing immortals dead… permanently.”

Dr. Sterling Makabo’s statement, even though it sounded like an ad for a TV commercial, turned out to be quite true.

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who was contacted on her smart phone (while shopping for high-heels and dresses in a leading Parisienne fashion house) said as far as she knew (and she had been alive for some 6000 years now even though she didn’t look a day over 30), there was no antidote to the poisonous ancient Babylonian grapes.

So in 2012, Apollo’s father Zeus grieved.

It looked like nothing could bring his son Apollo back from the dead (so only Hades alone would be able to enjoy the playing of Apollo upon his lyre).

. . .

Top 1000 National Enquirer Stories of 2016-

Top National Enquirer story #666 : Set Enterprises’ Resident Mad Scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher Brings Mossad Agent The Controller of the Golem Back From The Dead After Ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith Had Poisoned Controller’s Scotch Whiskey With Polonium-210

. . .

Christmas Day 2016- The ancient Greek god Zeus paid a visit to Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher to see if he could develop an antidote to the ancient Babylonian poisonous grapes that had killed Apollo.

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith (wearing a lovely red evening dress) accompanied Zeus and presented Dr. Rocher with a sample of the ancient poisoned Babylonian grapes that she had fed Apollo many centuries ago to permanently end his heartbreak.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Dr. Rocher promised.

. . .

January 5th 2017 (Eve of the Epiphany on the Catholic Church calendar)-

Dr. Cadbury Rocher put the possible antidote (which he had created in the form of red wine) into a golden chalice and handed it to the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith (who was now dressed in an even more resplendent red evening dress).

Lilith took the chalice and opened the Greek god Apollo’s lips and poured the red wine antidote (to the poisonous ancient Babylonian grapes) down his throat.

Apollo sputtered and choked and opened his eyes and said, “God, that’s good stuff.”

“He’s alive,” his father Zeus shouted with joy.

. . .

January 6th 2017- It was Sherlock Holmes’ 163rd birthday and Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s beautiful and incredibly sexy great-grandmother the immortal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes (who was Sherlock Holmes’ lesser-known twin sister) was dressed in an equally resplendent tight-fitting red leather mini dress and awaiting a European political leader.

Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras entered her quarters.

“Alexis,” she smiled at him and addressed him as if he were a naughty schoolboy and she his so-sexy and so strict school teacher, “I have a surprise for you. Well, two surprises actually.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 6th
2017.

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Sherrielock Holmes Reflects On The Vampiress Showdown At Sundown

December 20, 2016 at 5:14 pm (Ghost Story, Humour, Romance, The Supernatural, western) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Sherrielock Holmes Reflects On The Vampiress Showdown At Sundown

Things quieted down in Hayden, Colorado after the Aztec gold was dug up and stolen by a group of marauding Mormons who took it to Utah with them.

This later gave American forensic geologist Scott Wolter something to do for his early 21st Century TV show America Unearthed.

Since there was no longer any reason to stay in Hayden, Isis flew back to Paris by way of New York and Qonzilqointec returned to Mexico City by way of San Francisco.

“At last, peace and quiet,” Sherrielock sighed to herself as she lay in bed.

She might finally be able to get to sleep at night.

-A western vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 28th
2016.

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Qonzilqointec vs. Isis: The Vampiress Showdown At Sundown

December 19, 2016 at 4:20 pm (Ghost Story, Humour, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec vs. Isis: The Vampiress Showdown At Sundown

The Egyptian vampiress Isis was none too pleased that one of the gold bars her archaeologist found had been stolen by the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec (although Qonzilqointec claimed Aztec reclamation).

“This means war,” Isis seethed.

It wasn’t long before the showdown.

As Howard Cosell might have called it had he been alive at the time, The Showdown After Sundown.

Dressed in elaborate Parisienne and Madrid made evening gowns with holsters tied around their waists, they stood (in spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes) facing one another.

Inside each holster was a hawthorne wooden stake- guaranteed to kill the Undead dead.

Or so the sign read down at Van Helsing’s Lumber Yard in town.

Both Isis and Qonzilqointec had purchased their stakes without bothering to ask if there was a money back guarantee.

The town’s sheriff called out, “Draw.”

Each vampiress quickly pulled the stake out of their respective holsters and threw it at the other.

Qonzilqointec’s stake hit and broke Isis’ right vampiric incisor tooth.

“Oh Great God Ra, that’s going to cost me a fortune in dental work,” Isis moaned.

The town dentist stood rubbing his hands in glee.

Isis’ stake hit and struck Qonzilqointec’s left breast.

“Oh great Quetzalcoatl, it’s going to cost me a fortune to get that scar removed,” Qonzilqointec moaned.

The town doctor (who had a breast fetish) stood rubbing his hands in glee.

Belvedere who was busy eating a heavily garlic laced onion soup noticed that the two vampiresses were keeping away from him (of course so was everyone else for that matter).

-A western vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 28th
2016.

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Qonzilqointec Confronts French Archaeologist Pompidou De Gaulle

December 17, 2016 at 2:27 pm (Ghost Story, Humour, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec Confronts French Archaeologist Pompidou De Gaulle

“This gold bar has the seal of Montezuma on it,” French archaeologist Pompidou De Gaulle pointed out to Belvedere.

“It doesn’t look like a seal from pictures I’ve seen of them,” Belvedere looked puzzled, “I thought a seal kind of looked like an otter sorta.”

“You’re thinking of those sea mammals that eat fish and bark a lot,” De Gaulle glared at Belvedere, “A seal in this case refers to a special symbol used to represent the authority of the Aztec Emperor Montezuma.”

“I’ll take that gold bar if you don’t mind, Dr. Pompidou De Gaulle,” the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec entered the saloon wearing a gold evening dress, “after all, it belongs to my people.”

“Your people?” Dr. Pompidou De Gaulle was astonished.

“The Aztecs,” she smiled her vampiric incisors at the Frenchman, “Do you know what we did to our sacrificial victims?”.

“Didn’t you tear their living still beating hearts out of their chests and eat them?” Dr. De Gaulle gulped.

“Yes,” she stepped closer to the archaeologist.

“I don’t think Miss Sherrielock appreciates blood on the saloon floor unless it’s in the dominatrix whipping dungeon downstairs,” Belvedere spoke up, “You’re going to have to step outside.”

Dr. Pompidou De Gaulle ran out the door.

Qonzilqointec turned into a bat and followed him out the door.

“I’m going to have to cut down on eating the chef’s wild mushroom soup special,” Belvedere remarked upon seeing the vampiress’ transformation from sexy human to winged flying mammal.

-A western vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 28th
2016.

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Renfield Wants To Do A TV Ad

March 21, 2015 at 6:26 pm (Entertainment, TV Commercials, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield Wants To Do A TV Ad

Renfield R. Renfield was sporting a huge bruise as a result of being hit over the head by a spiked stiletto high-heeled shoe wielded by the Egyptian Vampiress Isis this past Thursday night.

It was a good thing he had been wearing a wig that made him look like Bruce Jenner on a bad hair day or otherwise the bruise might have been even worse.

“I wonder why Jaguar never asked me to do a TV commercial advertising their cars like they did Dr. Cadbury Rocher,” Renfield mused aloud as he held a beef steak over his head.

“Don’t know,” Amadeus Emanon shrugged as he watched the frozen beef steak melting on Renfield’s forehead.

“I think I’d be excellent at doing commercials,” sighed Renfield.

“Well you have the ability to shapeshift into a hamster, why don’t you apply to do a TV ad for KIA motors since they have hamsters in their TV commercials?” Amadeus suggested.

“That’s an excellent idea,” Renfield went over to his computer to google the nearest KIA motors dealership.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 21st
2015.

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Isis Stabs Sir Elton John In The Back

March 19, 2015 at 6:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, TV Commercials, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Isis Stabs Sir Elton John In The Back

The Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis was having dinner with a British cabinet minister in an exclusive London restaurant.

They were discussing the upcoming British general election, the state of Anglo-French relations, the emerging German domination of the European Union and the possibility of an Entente forming between Greece and Russia.

Spying on them and eavesdropping at the next table was Renfield R. Renfield the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Isis’ arch-enemy the London-based ancient Egyptian Vampire Set.

To escape the Vampiress Isis’ recognition and detection, Renfield had disguised himself by dressing up to look like Bruce Jenner if he/she was having a bad hair day.

“Didn’t the noted sanity challenged scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher work for you for a while?” The British cabinet minister asked Isis.

“He did,” Isis admitted, “but that nasty swine of a shapeshifting hamster/ human Renfield snatched him back to work for the Vampire Set again.”

Renfield quickly sprayed some more Febreze air freshener on his wig as a make-shift hairspray.

“Plus I see Dr. Cadbury Rocher is now doing TV commercials for Jaguar automobiles,” Isis put some red lipstick on her already blood red lips.

“He is?” The British cabinet minister seemed surprised.

“Yes,” Isis applied some more jet black mascara to her already jet black eyelashes, “the one where he takes a cylinder shaped glass elevator down to his secret laboratory brimming with automobiles and announces to the world “The devil is in the details” and then says “Oh yes, there’s method to my madness” as he drives away in either a red or a white Jaguar depending on which ad is being shown.”

“Now, that you mentioned it, I guess I have seen that commercial,” the cabinet minister sipped his Brandy.

Renfield silently seethed at the next table and wondered why he had never been asked to do a TV ad for Jaguar as he ragingly spilled hot chocolate over his formerly white blouse.

“That’s a lovely gown you’re wearing,” the cabinet minister admired Isis’ scarlet red evening dress.

“Thanks,” Isis smiled, “It’s a Dolce Gabbana.”

“That’s a Dolce Gabbana?” The minister put on his spectacles to get a better look down the front of her dress.

“Yes, Dolce Gabbana,” Isis nodded.

“Well, you’re certainly going to lose the admiration of Sir Elton John and his synthetic children over that,” Renfield piped up from the next table.

To be continued.

– A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 19th
2015.

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Osiris In Rome

January 31, 2015 at 5:21 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Osiris In Rome

The ancient Egyptian vampire Osiris had had quite an interesting time the past several millenia.

First he had been cut up into 14 pieces by his jealous brother Set.

Then he had been resurrected again by his wife and sister Isis.

But his phallus was still missing.

So then he was given a wooden phallus that with a sprinkling of a little cosmic Egyptian magic and witchcraft, he was able to use to impregnate Isis who gave birth to their son Horus.

Then the ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith (who was history’s first vampire of either sex) turned the whole family into vampires.

That would have been fine if it had just been him Osiris and Isis and Horus.

Unfortunately she turned his evil brother Set into a vampire as well.

When Set staged a coup in Egypt and put one of his own disciples in as Pharaoh, Isis and Osiris fled to the kingdom of Tyre.

Osiris posed as an architect named Hiram Abiff.

While in Tyre, King Hiram sent him off to Jerusalem to build a temple for the Tyrian king’s good Israelite friend and ally King Solomon.

In the meantime, Set’s spies had discovered that Osiris was posing as a Tyrian architect named Hiram Abiff and was busy building a Temple in Jerusalem.

So Set sent three ruffians to murder Hiram Abiff.

Ostensibly to discover the secret password of a master mason- which Osiris as Hiram Abiff naturally refused to give.

Thus the three ruffians slew Hiram Abiff.

And of course once again Osiris had to be resurrected.

This time Isis resurrected Osiris using a severed lion’s paw and a magical spell used in forbidden magical practices of the ancient Israelite tribe of Dan.

She used the Lion’s Paw from the Tribe of Dan to grip the hand of Osiris’ dead body and bring his soul back from the Underworld to re-unite with his body.

The Lion’s Paw then raised Osiris up from his coffin.

“Remember one thing,” the dark arts practicing magician from the Tribe of Dan had told Isis, “the only thing that might be capable of destroying the Lion’s Paw of the Lion of the Tribe of Dan is the power of the Lion’s Paw of the Lion of Judah.”

Isis had no idea what the Danite dark arts magician was talking about and just took the Danite Lion’s Paw.

So Osiris was resurrected from the dead and went on to build the Temple of Solomon.

The Vampiress Isis slept with Solomon the night the Temple was dedicated in 953 BC.

Isis also arranged for her good friend the Phoenician Vampiress Ashtoreth to sleep with Solomon as well.

Osiris meanwhile had returned to Egypt.

He was captured by members of Set’s Imperial Bodyguard.

Set then used a black magic spell to send Osiris through a celestial gate way and portal to a planet near the star Sirius.

The black magic spell itself expired on what would be the date of December 21st 2012 on the Gregorian calendar (a fact that would affect the consciousness of the Aztec, Mayan and Hopi Indians) and Osiris could return to Earth on that date.

In the meantime, Horus plotted revenge against his uncle Set for what the evil being had done to his father.

Horus and a group of followers captured Set and, using an Egyptian black magic spell, buried Set alive in a tomb for several millenia.

The tomb was finally unsealed on November 11th, 1918 at 11:00 AM Greenwich time (the same hour the Great War Armistice came into effect).

Set escaped the tomb and eventually fled to England where he became a City of London financial and investment advisor.

He made a killing in the Wall Street markets of the 1920s.

And as a silent partner and backer of Chicago mobster Al Capone during the Prohibition era, he made even more killings.

Set acting on a tip wisely pulled his own money out of the U.S. stock market prior to the crash of October 1929.

During the 1930s, Set helped finance the rise to power of Hitler and the Nazis in Germany- a fact which led Winston Churchill to sit on opposite ends of the room from Set at their respective London clubs.

It was very fortunate for Set that, in the first post VE-Day British general election that was held in July, 1945, Clement Attlee’s Labour Party won a landslide victory.

It would have been big trouble for Set had Churchill won.

As it was, Set was one of the few big businessmen who prospered in Britain’s post-war emerging Welfare State under the leadership of Prime Minister Clement Attlee a modest man whom Churchill described as having “a lot to be modest about”.

When the British Conservatives under Sir Winston Churchill returned to power after the 1951 general election in the UK, Set by then was too powerful a figure in the British financial establishment for Churchill to mess with.

As for Osiris, he did return to Earth in a spaceship on December 21st 2012.

The interdimensional portal he entered through was located at Vancouver’s English Bay on Canada’s West Coast.

Unfortunately for him, the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl was trying to use the same interdimensional portal at the same time to land on Earth.

The two spaceships Osiris One (carrying Osiris from a planet near the star Sirius) and Quetzalcoatl Too (carrying Quetzalcoatl from Saturn’s Moon Titan) had a major mid-air collision just above Vancouver’s English Bay on the night of December 21st 2012.

A Russian nuclear submarine in the waters of English Bay at the time fired a laser death ray at the two spacecraft vaporizing both craft and their occupants.

Captain Nikolai Soloviev the commander of the submarine who had fired the laser death ray later left the Russian Naval service.

Captain Soloviev (a dead ringer for the late Russian Czar Nicholas II) then got a job appearing in TV commercials for Hotels.com an on-line hotel booking agency.

Captain Soloviev played a wise-cracking smart ass captain named Captain Obvious who had a “brilliant grasp of the obvious” as Sherlock Holmes might put it and made totally obvious wise-cracking smart ass remarks in the commercials.

Now it so happened at the time of the Russian sub laser death ray attack on the two spacecraft that a Swiss scientist Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius was on the beach at Vancouver’s English Bay along with his small-scale replica working model of the CERN Large Hadron Collider.

Dr. Celsius used his replica Hadron Collider to gather up the particles and atoms of the two disintegrated spaceships and their celebrity deity extraterrestrial occupants.

The Collider container and its contents of particles and atoms were then shipped to the Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis’ secret laboratory below Notre Dame Cathedral in the City of Lights.

Dr. Celsius was invited to oversee a team of scientists working day and night to put the particles and atoms back together again.

After working for almost 2 years with no results to show for it, Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius was finally pushed to his death from the top of Notre Dame’s bell tower by the Vampiress Isis this past October 1st as a pre-Christmas bonus for his efforts.

Isis then hired the noted British scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher to oversee the team and see if he could put her husband Osiris’ sub-atomic particles back together again.

Dr. Rocher had been working as the chief scientist for her rival and arch-enemy the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

But the two had a falling out when Set suddenly slashed a vast sum of money from Dr. Rocher’s laboratory research budget in order to maintain a high profit margin for Set Enterprises for the fiscal quarter.

Isis used the falling out to hire Dr. Rocher to work for her.

Dr. Rocher was able to successfully put Osiris’ sub-atomic particles back together and resurrect the vampiric deity this past Halloween.

Unfortunately for poor Osiris, he was once again resurrected sans phallus.

This naturally put a strain on Isis and Osiris’ cosmic re-union.

The two were now living separately again (though not light years apart as they had been for the past 3 millenia).

She continued to live in her luxurious penthouse apartment in Paris.

Osiris had found himself a nice little apartment in Rome, Italy with a good view of the Colosseum.

Osiris greeted the night as he flung open the tapestry curtains of his Rome apartment.

He had been told by various people when he announced that he was moving to Rome to “when in Rome, do as the Romans do.”

He thought though that maybe watching the sun rise above the Aventine Hill might prove somewhat hazardous to his health.

So he grabbed his brochure of Rome and wondered if there were any nighttime tours of the Sistine Chapel.

He would see for himself just what this Last Judgement of Michelangelo’s was that people were raving about.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
during the period
January 8th
to
January 28th
2015.

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