Athena and Renfield In Vienna
British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the Greek goddess Athena in Vienna
King Charles III was worried about the War in Ukraine and the possibility that it could explode into a global nuclear war.
It seemed to him that America’s Joe Biden was a senile old fool and Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was a bedwetting imbecile who suffered from arrested emotional development.
The king was right on both counts.
So on the advice of his leading advisor Paddington Bear, His Majesty decided to send British MP Renfield R. Renfield, who was a member of the two seat British Arthurian Party (formerly the British Transhumanist Party until Renfield came to the conclusion that the philosophy of Transhumanism was out to lunch especially the terrifying possibility of George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab living forever as Cyborgs) in the UK 🇬🇧 Westminster House of Commons to a secret conference in Vienna Austria (so secret that not even the Neo-Trotskyite heads of government of the NATO and EU countries were told about it) between a Russian delegation and a Ukrainian delegation to see if some sort of peace treaty could be negotiated.
Renfield had asked the ghosts of Orson Welles and Winston Churchill to accompany him as his advisors.
Churchill said he would need time to study the history of the conflict in depth before he felt worthy of dispensing advice on the subject.
Ditto for the ghost of Orson Welles.
Although Welles said he was willing to accompany Renfield as official black and white photographer for the trip (since Welles enjoyed black and white photography) in order to record the trip for posterity (if and when the secret conference became known to history).
Renfield agreed to take Welles as his official black and white photographer.
Churchill settled back with a large spectral cigar and a large spectral glass of brandy in an easy chair in the library and archives of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London mansion and began reading on the subject of the history of relations between Ukraine and Russia dating back to the founding of Christian Kievan Rus in 988 AD.
Renfield turned to his friend Dracul Van Helsing to see who he would recommend taking to Vienna Austria for the conference.
Dracul recommended Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom.
And so Renfield had flown to Vienna with Athena.
Members of both the Ukrainian and Russian delegations arrived at the Hofburg Palace wearing paper bags over their heads. Not because they were ugly (there was no indication that the ghost of Oscar Wilde would attend the conference to give his opinion of aesthetics on both proceedings and participants) but because they didn’t want to be seen by the outside world.
The American Deep State, which was all gung-ho for a global nuclear war in hopes that this would reduce the world population to a manageable level of 500 million people (like George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab envisioned), might become very pissed off if they heard that Russia and Ukraine were negotiating behind their back to achieve a peaceful resolution.
Why senile old fool Joe Biden (the world’s most prolific donor of drag queens for Children’s Storybook Reading Hours in public libraries) might stop giving arms to Ukraine.
And then Zelensky might lose his major source of income by turning around and selling those arms.
As an ad for Forbes Magazine (which turned into a popular meme on the Internet) showed, with a picture of Zelensky that said, “I earned $10 billion while working from home. Ask me how.”
Zelensky had even managed to sell a machine gun to the Norse trickster god Loki for €20,000 (Twenty thousand Euros 💶).
Although Loki’s Zelensky supplied machine gun recently turned out to be no match for a silver arrow fired by the crossbow of the Celtic stag god Cernunnos.
The conference would be chaired by Samhain Cardinal Salaman one of the few heterosexual administrators currently working in Pope Francis’ Lot’s Wife = Pillar of Salt Vatican.
As for Vienna’s own Christoph Cardinal Schönborn (definitely no relation to the heterosexual Christopher Dracul Van Helsing), he was busy trying to organize yet another gay porno strip show rock concert and Mass at St. Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna.
The conference would begin with a formal dinner in one of the Hofburg Palace’s many Viennese ballrooms.
The ghost of Orson Welles took a black and white photo of Renfield and Athena as they awaited the arrival of Samhain Cardinal Salaman.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Tuesday April 4th
2023.
Athena and Dracul Make Out Under A Byzantium Moon While Mussolini’s Ghost Continues His March On Astana
The Greek goddess Athena sits ato₱ a Byzantium crescent moon The Greek goddess Athena was sitting ato₱ a Byzantium crescent moon while the ghost of Orson Welles gazed on a₱₱reciativley. “This has to be the loveliest deus ex machina I’ve ever created in a stage ₱roduction,” Welles’ ghost remarked. Canadian vam₱ire hunter Dracul Van Helsing stood below the Byzantium crescent moon gazing u₱ a₱₱reciatively at Athena. The ghost of the Roman Em₱eror (and 1st Byzantine Em₱eror) Constantine the Great walked by and whis₱ered to Dracul, “In hoc signo vinco eris”. Yesterday October 27th would have been the 171Oth anniversary of the sign that a₱₱eared in the sky to Constantine on the evening before the Battle of the Milvian Bridge telling him if he ₱ainted the Chi Rho (the first two letters of Christ’s Name in Greek) on his soldiers’ shields, he’d win the battle and defeat his enemy and rival Maxentius. Athena informed Dracul that the ghosts of Benito Mussolini and his Blackshirts were outside the City of Astana Kazakhstan waiting to take over the city just like 1OO years ago today (on October 28th 1922) the living mortal Benito Mussolini and his living mortal Blackshirts were waiting outside the City of Rome Italy to take over the city. “You’ll have to do something, Dracul,” Athena urged him. “I want to make love to you,” Dracul re₱lied. Athena told Dracul to come u₱ to the crescent moon. Dracul did so. Athena took Dracul Van Helsing over her knee and s₱anked him. As Athena gave Dracul a good sound thorough wallo₱₱ing on his bare buttocks, Dracul’s friend Daniel Hy₱erion was trying to determine what malicious virus or s₱yware or adware had been ₱laced on Dracul’s tablet (making him unable to ty₱e the letter that came after “o” in the al₱habet forcing him to use the symbol ₱ instead of the letter that came after “o” in the al₱habet among other things like his ability to indent and create new ₱aragra₱hs). After an hour Athena had finished totally blistering and tomatoing Dracul’s buns. A lesser man than Dracul Van Helsing would have we₱t. And lesser men usually did. Like Justin Trudeau for exam₱le. (Although Athena wisely had never s₱anked that crybaby but world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes (the lesser known twin sister of world famous 221 B Baker Street consulting detective Sherlock Holmes) once had to in order to get Justin to end the dictatorial Canadian Federal Emergencies Act back in February of this year). But instead Dracul Van Helsing commented, “God, that s₱anking at the hands of a beautiful goddess such as yourself has made me horny as Hell.” Dracul and Athena immediately went down to the stage floor underneath the Byzantium crescent moon and made wild ₱assionate love to one another. “That wasn’t called for in the scri₱t,” the ₱lay’s director the ghost of Orson Welles started to wee₱. Meanwhile outside the city of Astana Khazakhstan the ghost of Benito Mussolini (backed by the ghosts of his Blackshirts) called u₱on the ghosts inside the city of Astana Khazakstan to surrender. Just then the s₱ectral ghostly image of a s₱ectral wooden (made from the ghostly wood of the sacred oak to Odin/Wotan in Germany that was cut down by Saint Boniface) black Trojan unicorn (as o₱₱osed to a wooden Trojan horse) came outside the invisible s₱ectral gates of the city of Astana. -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter written by Christo₱her Friday October 28th 2O22.
Athena At The St. James’ Court Hotel In Lndon
The Greek goddess Athena at the St. James’ Court Hotel in London
The Greek goddess Athena was in London at the St. James’ Court Hotel where she would be attending a Johann Strauss style Viennese ball.
Her date for this evening would be Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.
In addition to dancing, they would also be discussing geopolitical affairs as they danced.
When Dracul Van Helsing entered the ballroom, he was confronted by this vision.
As they danced to the music of the Blue Danube, the goddess and the vampire hunter discussed the Russia-Ukraine War and the possibility of nuclear war.
“The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set the owner of Set Enterprises here in London has been working behind the scenes to prevent nuclear war,” Dracul explained, “The same cannot be said for Isis, Osiris and their son Horus and their Freemasonic and Neo-Bolshevik Communist allies and the puppet whose strings they pull senile old fool Joe Biden who are all gung ho for nuclear war.”
“I guess they figure it’s a lot easier to Build Back Better when a few atomic mushroom clouds are decorating the landscape of the atmosphere,” Athena mused aloud.
“Set is dealing personally with operations against Isis, Osiris, Horus and Joe Biden,” Dracul nodded, “While his former employee the British MP Renfield R. Renfield is overseeing operations against Vladimir Putin so he doesn’t start a nuclear war.”
“And how’s that going?” Athena inquired.
“Well first we tried diplomacy,” Dracul noted, “We sent over the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec to try to talk to him diplomatically but he made a pass at her and so the whole thing failed. She kicked him right where it hurt. So Putin was unable to emerge from the meeting waving a condom in his hand and saying, “Piece in our time.” Diplomacy was over.”
“And then what was the next method of persuasion?” Athena smiled.
“We tried extortion and blackmail,” Dracul replied, “The good old Raymond “Red” Reddington of The Blacklist TV show approach. I managed to obtain some compromising photos of Putin in compromising positions with high-priced escort call girls at The Catherine The Great Hotel Hilton in downtown Moscow. Renfield sent over the ghost of Orson Welles to the Kremlin with those compromising photos in a spectral violin case. Welles said to Putin those photos would be released to both Russia and the world in the event he launched a nuclear attack on anyone.”
“And what was Putin’s response?” Athena wanted to know.
“Putin just laughed,” Dracul answered, “And said those photos would increase his popularity among the Russian people. Showing how young and virile he was for a 70-year-old leader.”
“As opposed to dementia and paving the way for a massive diaper shortage in the U.S. in Joe Biden’s case,” Athena acknowledged.
“Exactly,” Dracul agreed.
“So, what is your next strategy?” Athena was curious.
“Well, “diplomacy stunk” to paraphrase Charlie Chaplin’s Great Dictator character of Adenoid Hynkel. And “extortion stunk” to again paraphrase Charlie Chaplin’s Great Dictator character of Adenoid Hynkel. So now is the time to bring in the “big guns” which are “tomatoed buns”. We plan to send over world-famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes to tomato Vladimir Putin’s buttocks until he agrees to end the war in Ukraine,” Dracul explained.
“But how will Sherrielock get into Russia?” Athena asked, “It is my understanding that the Russian Air Defense Ministry have Dominatrixes preeminently pinpointed on their radar screens?”.
“Well, Sherrielock used to own an immortal white horse called Excalibur Lightning,” Dracul noted, “This horse could travel the world at lightning speed. Unfortunately at the outbreak of World War I in August 1914, the German secret service and the German Navy horsenapped Sherrielock’s horse and took it aboard a German u-boat and sailed to the waters of Canada’s High Arctic where it was said they buried it under a medieval Norse temple to the Norse goddess Freya. They did it to prevent Sherrielock Holmes riding over to Germany and tomatoing the buttocks of the Kaiser Wilhelm II to quickly end that war.”
“And has this horse been found?” Athena inquired.
“Yes, a team sent out by Set Enterprises happened to find it yesterday,” Dracul was pleased to announce.
An idiotic apologist for Charlie Chaplin’s Great Dictator character of Adenoid Hynkel kept throwing angry glances in Dracul Van Helsing’s direction.
The idiot Hynkel apologist whose name was Socrates1234 (because that was the highest he could count) went over to the punch bowl to pour himself a glass of punch.
Harvey Tallbanger the invisible 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit and secret agent for Set Enterprises put several drops of hemlock into the idiot Hynkel apologist Socrates1234’s glass of punch.
The idiot Hynkel apologist dropped dead on the spot after drinking the hemlock laced glass of punch.
Since he had no ID on him, he was taken to a charity paupers’ funeral home where his memorial service was presided over by an Ashkenazi Jewish rabbi.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Tuesday October 18th
2022.
Athena In Kyiv
The Greek goddess Athena was in Kyiv the capital of Ukraine.
She was having a photograph in black and white taken of her by the ghost of Orson Welles.
Athena remarked, “Coloured photographs in Vogue Magazine are for the Zelenskys. I much prefer a black and white photograph taken by the great Orson Welles.”
Volodymyr Zelensky the President of Ukraine and his wife Olena had recently had coloured photographs of themselves taken by VOGUE Magazine and were featured as the main subjects in a recent issue of the magazine.
Including a photograph of them making out while wearing clothes.
Showing the world that Ukrainians did not always have to be in their birthday suits while making love.
At the moment that Athena was getting her photo taken by the ghost of Orson Welles, Russian President Vladimir Putin was in Moscow wearing a bear skin rug and making out with U.S. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who was undertaking a secret undercover mission on behalf of the senile Joe Biden Administration.
The bear skin rug that Putin was wearing had belonged to a Russian brown bear that had been killed by fallout shrapnel from the car bomb blast that had killed Darya Dugina the daughter of Russian ultra-nationalist philosopher Aleksandr Dugin.
Russia had accused a female Ukrainian operative of planting the bomb and fleeing to Estonia.
According to the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit, the bomb had been built by the Nazi vampire Dr. Eichmann Mengele who had headed the American CIA’s Science and Research Division since 1950.
Interestingly enough the Russian brown bear killed by the Dugin car bomb blast (whose body and fur had now been turned by the President of Russia into his own personal conjugal relations rug with AOC as the first lucky recipient of the furry embrace) had been possessed for a number of years by the ghost of Grigori Rasputin the Russian monk and mystic who had served as advisor and healer to the Imperial Russian Romanov Family of Czar Nicholas II.
Several years back Hades the Greek god of the Underworld had granted the ghost of Grigori Rasputin a dispensational release from the realm of Hades.
The mystic mad monk’s spirit then took possession of a Russian brown bear’s body and had been possessing it ever since.
That is until the date of the Dugin car bombing on Saturday August 20th 2022.
When the bear had been killed by fallout shrapnel from the car bombing.
The bear’s last recorded words were, “I never got to have tea and marmalade with Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II like Paddington did.”
Vladimir Putin was now thinking of digging up Rasputin’s body at Tsarskoye Selo and after a heavy retouch at MacPherson’s Funeral Parlour in Moscow (Scottish undertakers and morticians were the best) have Rasputin’s ghost take possession of his original body.
Putin had sent Patriarch Kirill of Moscow to negotiate with the underworld god Hades on his behalf.
Patriarch Kirill had recently been called “Vladimir Putin’s altar boy” by George Soros’ altar boy Pope Francis.
As Vladimir Putin sat on the bear skin rug smoking a cigarette and singing “He’s got the whole world in his hands…”, AOC lay back on the bear skin rug with a look of total esctasy on her face.
She sighed, “I’ve never known a real man until now.”
Putin commented, “Well, you’ve got to stop hanging around with members of Joe Biden’s cabinet.”
Meanwhile in London, England, as the Greek goddess Athena was getting photographed in Kiev, the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill was complaining to British MP Renfield R. Renfield that the famous original December 1941 Yousuf Karsh taken photograph of Winston Churchill that had been hanging in the Chateau Laurier Hotel in Ottawa had been stolen and replaced with a copy about 8 months ago and hotel staff had only noticed now.
As Welles was finishing up the photo session, vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing walked into the room and started making out with the goddess Athena.
“Not again,” Welles sighed.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 25th
2022.
Spanish Archaeologists Believe They Have Discovered Hercules’ Tomb
Athena the Greek goddess of Wisdom kept calm and watched as Spanish archaeologists claimed they had found the Temple of Hercules
Archaeologists from the University of Seville and the Andalusian Institute of Historical Heritage believe they have discovered the Temple of Hercules Gaditanus.
Using information they obtained from aerial photographs, the researchers found a large rectangular structure submerged in the Bay of Cadiz.
The structure nearly 1000 feet long and 500 feet wide matches the ancient descriptions of the Temple.
The Temple of Hercules Gaditanus is said to have been a columned Temple with an eternal flame, a fire raised on an altar and was maintained day and night by priests.
Greek and Latin records say this is the place where Julius Caesar wept before a representation of Alexander the Great (Caesar having discovered that Alexander was better looking than he was) and where the Carthaginian general Hannibal went to offer thanks for the success of a military campaign a century and a half before Caesar’s sobbing performance.
. . .
The Ontario provincial government’s own data shows that the fully vaccinated make up the majority of Covid-19 hospitalizations in the Canadian province of Ontario.
On January 7th there were 1327 fully vaccinated cases in Ontario hospitals compared with 441 unvaccinated cases.
Despite this, Canada’s brainless Federal Minister of Health Jean-Yves Duclos today called upon Canada’s provincial governments to introduce mandatory vaccination policies.
After making the announcement the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST appeared written in black ink on Duclos’ forehead and then a frogs’ legs and maple syrup cream pie was thrown in his face by an invisible entity (his bodyguards who had been drinking Harvey Tallbangers claimed it was a 6 foot 8 tall purple bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who threw the cream pie).
. . .
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Saturday night podcast,
“Thrice jabbed Austrian Chancellor Karl Nehammer contracted Covid-19 during a meeting this past Thursday night at which he was promoting mandatory vaccination.
Despite receiving three experimental injections, wearing a protective mask and living in a country with stringent rules and lockdowns during the Thursday night meeting, Nehammer tested positive for Covid-19 yesterday on Friday January 7th 2022.
Nevertheless the Fuhrer wannabe doubled down on his support for compulsory vaccination and told his Austrian subjects to get vaccinated and get a booster.
At the Thursday night meeting, everyone in the room was both doubly vaccinated and thirdly boostered, was wearing masks and social distancing, and lastly Nehammer himself was separated from everyone else by plexiglass screens.
Despite this a virus found its way through and made a mockery of everything that deranged medical bureaucrats, tyrannical politicians and the brainless mainstream media have been telling the world the past couple of years.
During the Thursday night meeting, Nehammer announced new measures for his subjects in light of the new omicron variant (which so far is proving to be less lethal than the original delta variant) and told the media that the government is working on a draft law to make vaccinations compulsory starting February 1st.
“If businesses do not comply, we will have the power to shut them down,” the Covid infected politician told those present.
“What then is to be done?” Renfield looked at the camera, “We must hang Austrian Chancellor Karl Nehammer by the neck until dead. And then he’ll never have to worry about catching Covid again.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 8th
2022.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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