On The 700th Anniversary of Dante’s Death, A Most Diabolical Plot: Soros-Gates-Fauci Axis Powers Genetically Clone Uglos

September 14, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Aesthetics, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Literature, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Today September 14th 2021 is the 700th Anniversary of the death of Italian poet Dante Alighieri who wrote the Divine Comedy trilogy consisting of Inferno, Purgatorio and Paradisio.

On September 14th 1321, Odin’s raven Huginn remarked to Odin’s raven Muninn, “Oh weep for Dante, for he is dead.”

Muninn immediately started crying and blew his nose on Pope John XXII’s papal robes.

“Don’t weep for Dante,” the demon Baphomet remarked, “Weep for Pan for he is dead.”

The Pan to whom Baphomet was referring was the Greek satyr god of nature, the wild, shepherds and flocks, mountains and rustic music.

That Pan had in fact died long ago.

Today September 14th 2021, the demon Baphomet, along with his fellow demon Baal, the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles and the ghosts of King Herod, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Mao Tse-tung had all endorsed the Neo-Stalinist tyrant Gavin Newsom for Governor of California and urged Californians not to recall him.

“As far as I know, I’m not related to that Pan,” Pan Goatee mentioned in answer to a question from his friend the philosopher frog emperor Marcus Amphibius.

Marcus had stoically wanted to know whether Pan Goatee was related to the Greek satyr god Pan who was the Greek god of nature, the Pan who had died long ago and sailors had heard the cry during the reign of the Roman Emperor Tiberius, “The great god Pan is dead.”

As Pan Goatee entered a drug store, Marcus Amphibius stopped to order some French flies from a French Onion Soup and Quebecois Poutine dealer.

When Marcus entered the store, he noticed his satyr friend beheading a fat ugly blimp (who was a store clerk) and cutting her up into 999 trillion pieces.

“I thought I had beheaded this fat ugly blimp a couple of weeks ago and how did she come back alive?” Goatee wanted to know, “Necromancers today must be as perverted and degenerate and as devoid of good taste as everybody else these days.”

“It might not be necromancers,” Marcus Amphibius licked an ice cream cone, “Some of my frog friends around the world tell me that the evil undynamic but diabolical trio of George Soros, Bill Gates and Dr. Anthony Fauci are genetically cloning uglos. So if you kill one, they’ve got another 665 in test tubes somewhere.”

“Oh deepest pits of perdition and damnation, thy names art Soros, Gates and Fauci,” Pan Goatee spoke eloquently.

Meanwhile in Slovakia, some renegade Slovak priests were trying to exorcise the demonically possessed Pope Francis whose eyes were once again turning demonically red, his head was rotating 360 degrees and he was vomiting forth copies of Dante’s Divine Inferno.

“We are legion. We hate Dante. We do not weep for Dante for he is dead. We hate Dante. He believed in the existence of Hell. There is no Hell,” the voices within Francis started screaming, “Ah, the flames. The flames.”

One of the priests who was slightly deaf asked his fellow priest (a dwarf) who was only a little less deaf, “What did he say?”.

The dwarf answered, “I think he said, Ah, the plane. The plane.”

“These demons must be fans of the original 1970s TV show Fantasy Island,” the elder priest remarked.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 14th

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Schwarzenegger May Soon Become The Exterminated Ex-Terminator

August 12, 2021 at 10:49 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The real Pan Goatee is cool.
The real Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t.

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was once again in his favourite Vietnamese restaurant having a Vietnamese sub.

Suddenly an ugly looking woman walked through the door with her moronic looking husband.

She appeared to be in her mid-50s and yet she had coloured her hair pink, blue and purple.

“What is it with ugly looking women in Calgary colouring their hair blue, pink or purple if not all three?” Pan Goatee asked his friend the philosophical frog Marcus Amphibius who was busy complaining that there were no flies in his Pho soup, “Do they think colouring their hair those colours, it makes look them beautiful? It doesn’t. An ugly looking woman is still ugly no matter what she colours her hair. An ugly looking woman in her 20s who colours her hair blue, pink or purple looks awfully stupid. An ugly looking woman in her mid-50s who does the same looks even more so.”

Goatee went over and beheaded the ugly looking woman in her mid-50s with blue, pink and purple coloured hair and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

He did the same to her moronic husband.

When he had finished his sub, he went for a long walk.

He then encountered an ugly looking redheaded female who was entering a car.

“Well, you certainly put the lie to the notion that all redheads are beautiful and sexy because you sure as Hell aren’t,” Goatee barfed all over her car to emphasize the point.

“She’s definitely not the role model for Mystery Babylon the Mother of Harlots,” Marcus Amphibius agreed, “I gather Mystery Babylon is beautiful and alluring which is why she attacts so many followers.”

Goatee beheaded the ugly looking redhead and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Goatee then walked to a nearby Dollarama store where he encountered an ugly looking blimp and her moronic boyfriend.

The satyr then beheaded both moron and blimp.

He cut both blimp and moron up into 999 trillion pieces each.

“I think you and I and a certain Geopolitical analyst are the only intelligent males in the entire City of Calgary,” Marcus Amphibius remarked as he read a passage from the Summa Theologia of Saint Thomas Aquinas on the Nature of Beauty.

“I think you’re right,” Pan agreed.

Goatee then went to the Pharmacy next door where he encountered a fat ugly blimp who was working as the cashier.

Goatee beheaded the blimp and cut her up into the appropriate number of pieces as he commented, “Is this how they’re trying to get the unvaccinated to take the vaccine now? Having fat ugly blimps work in pharmacies thus making everyone suicidally depressed and thus more inclined to get vaccinated or in the case of the already vaccinated cause them to beg governments to start administering third and maybe even fourth doses?”.

“I wouldn’t put it past Dr. Anthony Fauci and his fellow evil scientists around the globe,” Marcus Amphibius agreed as he read a passage from Saint Augustine’s The City of God on the Nature of Demons.

. . .

“I’m thinking of consecrating the world to the Non-Immaculate Heart of Pachamama,” Pope Francis mentioned to his friend Walter Cardinal Kasper.

“An excellent idea,” Cardinal Kasper agreed.

“I thought so,” Francis sent out invitations to all the world’s bishops to do the same.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Thursday night podcast.

The first news item he read was on how Los Angeles City Council had voted to establish a vaccine passport mandate.

Said Renfield, “The entire city council of Los Angeles should be eliminated from the face of the Earth.”

The second news item was on how Dr. Anthony Fauci finally admitted in an August 10th 2021 MSNBC television interview that individual freedom in the United States of America must be eliminated.

Said Renfield, “Dr. Anthony Fauci must be eliminated from the face of the Earth.”

Renfield then read the third news item he was covering in tonight’s podcast,

“Body building moron and supposed actor Arnold Schwarzenegger who originally hails from Austria (which was also the birthplace of Adolf Hitler) recently told anti-maskers, “Screw your freedom.”

Renfield then looked at the camera and said, “Arnold Schwarzenegger should be eliminated from the face of the Earth.”

Then he added,

“P.S. And when that happens, you won’t be back.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 12th

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Pan Goatee Beheads More Uglos As Renfield Takes Action Against Neo-Bolshevik Communists

August 11, 2021 at 10:53 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking towards one of his favourite Vietnamese restaurants to buy one of their delicious Vietnamese submarine sandwiches.

Suddenly a thin ugly looking white stoat (one of three varieties of ugly looking white women who live in the City of Calgary) came walking down the sidewalk accompanied by her moronic looking son (who no doubt inherited his IQ from his father for marrying such an uglo).

Pan Goatee then beheaded both uglo mother and moronic looking son cutting them up into 999 trillion pieces each.

Goatee then entered the restaurant and ordered the Satay Beef Sub.

He was shortly joined by his new found friend the philosophical frog Marcus Amphibius.

Marcus ate the flies that were trying to land on Pan’s Satay Beef Sub (they too were attracted to the sub’s delicious flavour).

“Attractive looking waitresses who work here,” Marcus noted.

“Very,” Pan agreed, “I noticed from photos and video footage I’ve seen of Vietnam, you don’t see too many ugly looking women over there like you see in many cities in Western Canada.”

“I suspect it’s the influence of Harvard University approved Critical Gender Theory radical feminism here in the so-called Western democracies that’s made so many women quite repulsively ugly,” Marcus Amphibius lit his pipe and started smoking, “Over there in Vietnam, Communism is more of a Ho Chi Minh style Vietnamese nationalism rather than pure Marxism. As the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King pointed out back in the 1960s which is why he wanted the U.S. military to get out of Vietnam.”

“Very true,” Pan agreed, “And Ho Chi Minh’s vampiress granddaughter Ho Babylon Minh is a very beautiful vampiress. No uglo genes in the Minh family.”

“No, the senior Ho had very beautiful women in his harem,” the immortal frog Marcus Amphibius recalled.

Pan Goatee after finishing his sub went for a long walk.

He came upon a small strip mall.

The strip mall had an Atlantic Fish and Chips Restaurant which was notorious for having fat ugly blimps coming in and out of the place.

Sure enough a fat ugly blimp exited the place.

Goatee beheaded the blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

None of the black flies flying around bothered to attack the package of Fish and Chips lying on the ground.

They weren’t as good as Vietnamese submarine sandwiches.

. . .

Disgraced former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was having a dream where he was tied up in a water filled dungeon.

Leeches surrounded him and began sucking his blood.

Dr. Anthony Fauci came by rowing on a raft.

“You really should be wearing a face mask a la CDC’s most recent recommendations,” Dr. Fauci put 666 face masks on Cuomo’s face and continued rowing.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Wednesday night podcast.

He covered the matter of Andrew Cuomo’s resignation.

Said Renfield,

“New York’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Neo-Stalinist Gov. and Apostle of The Antichrist Andrew Cuomo has resigned as Governor of New York amidst sexual harassment allegations.
The jackass who was awarded an Emmy (when it should have been an enema) last year by the brainless mainstream media for his performance during the 2020 Covid pandemic (which was quite literally a performance as he went from “Ventilators! We need more ventilators!” to “We’ve got so many ventilators now, they’re coming out of our ass!”) leaves his office in deserved disgrace.
One Neo-Bolshevik Communist and Apostle of the Antichrist down.
We’ve got several more thousands to go around the globe.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster (who was called Saint Michelangelo the Underwater Revelator by the citizens of Australia) was listening to Renfield’s podcast on his waterproof laptop.

He heard Renfield say, “The Neo-Bolshevik Communist newspaper The Toronto Star is calling on Canada’s Justin Trudeau government to implement a national vaccine passport system.”

Michelangelo then had a vision of Renfield riding a black motorcycle and wearing a black leather jacket with a machine gun on his back driving into the newsroom of The Toronto Star.

He opened fire letting all the Neo-Bolshevik Communist editors and reporters have it as a group of mini skirted beauties behind Renfield sang the Steppenwolf song Born To Be Wild.

Renfield continued, “And in further news from Canada, the supposedly free enterprise Calgary Chamber of Commerce seems to be made up entirely of Neo-Bolshevik Communist Neo-Stalinists and Gates of Hitler Vaccinazis as the assholes, airheads and bozos in that chamber have called for the Alberta government to implement a provincial vaccine passport system.”

Michelangelo then had a vision of Renfield riding a black motorcycle and wearing a black leather jacket with a machine gun on his back driving into the meeting room of the Calgary Chamber of Commerce and opening fire on all the Neo-Bolshevik Communist Neo-Stalinist and Gates of Hitler Vaccinazi businesspeople.

Tina Turner wearing a tight skirted mini dress emblazoned with Renfield’s picture on it then came out and sang to Renfield,

“You’re simply the best
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone
Anyone I ever met

I’m stuck on your heart
I hang on every word you say…. ”

Tina Turner: Would one day sing for Renfield according to Michelangelo’s vision

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 11th

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Pan Goatee Beheads A Moron and Two Repulsively Fat Ugly Blimps

August 10, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Aesthetics) (, , )

Due to the high number of repulsive fat ugly blimps that heartless globalists George Soros and Bill Gates keep genetically creating in the City of Calgary, genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee is once again forced to make an appearance in tonight’s vampire novel chapter.

Pan Goatee had once again returned to the pharmacy he was forced to exit last night after encountering a fat ugly blimp he had beheaded and dismembered.

There was no fat ugly blimp in the store tonight.

However there was a moronic jackass who had started a long line up at the cash register as he argued with the store manager about wanting to return a carton of cigarettes he had been overcharged for and wanted to get his full money back.

He did have his receipt with him and he had in fact been overcharged for the carton of cigarettes.

But the trouble was the moronic jackass had smoked two packs of cigarettes from the carton and therefore the manager said he could not get his full money back.

This sent the moronic jackass’s panties into a knot and he threw a temper tantrum demanding his full money back.

As the store line-up continued to grow and the manager tried to calmly explain to the moronic jackass the reasons for his decision, the moronic jackass continued to throw his temper tantrum.

Like the lovestruck lover who never revealed his feelings until it was too late and he was reduced to confessing his love on cardboard flash cards on Christmas Eve in the movie Love Actually, Goatee finally said “Enough!”.

He went up to the moronic jackass and said, “Don’t you know that cigarette smoking can be hazardous to your health?” as he lopped off the moron’s head.

“There have even been many cases of a cigarette smoking habit leading to a person’s death,” Goatee proceeded to cut the moron up into 999 trillion pieces.

“You don’t say,” the emperor-philosopher frog Marcus Amphibius quipped as he licked a black fly house and garden bug killer ice cream cone.

That night Health Canada ordered that a new warning label be put on all cigarette packages and cartons sold in Canada:

Warning: Health Canada has determined that returning the cigarette carton to the store where you bought it could result in possible beheading by Pan Goatee.

Meanwhile Pan Goatee headed home.

As he was standing at an intersection, a fat female cyclist rode by.

He beheaded her and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

The owner of the bike (from whom the fat ugly blimp had stolen the bicycle) returned the bike and its incredibly flattened tires back to the bike store from which he had bought it hoping to get his money back.

Panty Goatee (Pan Goatee’s younger sister) happened to be in town and was trying to arrange a bike rental for herself.

However the line was held up by the owner of the bike.

Panty Goatee beheaded the man and cut him up into 666 trillion pieces (she wasn’t quite as numerically obsessed as her older brother).

Meanwhile Goatee was returning to the drug store because he had forgotten his monogramed handkerchief (having left it on one of the shelves).

While walking back to the pharmacy, he encountered another fat ugly blimp waddling along the sidewalk looking incredibly ugly and incredibly stupid (she was even more fat and repulsively ugly than the one he had slain inside the drug store last night).

“Jesus Motherfucking H. Christ!” Goatee quoted the great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg, “You are the fattest ugliest blimp of them all.”

“We have to agree,” the ghosts of Brutus, Cassius, Julius Caesar and Mark Antony said in unison as they barfed ectoplasmic vomit all over the place.

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and then kicked the fat ugly blimp’s head clear across the Rocky Mountains and clear across the Pacific Ocean where it binged Communist China’s tyrannical leader Xi Jinping in the face in Beijing.

“Jesus Motherfucking H. Christ!” Xi said in Mandarin Chinese as he was hit by the ugliest missile in all recorded history.

Goatee then cut up the fat ugly blimp’s corpulent corpse into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion times.. an infinite number of 999 trillion times.

“To infinity and beyond,” the philosophical emperor frog Marcus Amphibius quoted noted astronaut Buzz Lightyear as he ate a candied apple.

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