Lilith Meets Erdogan: Neo-Sultanism Arises

October 13, 2015 at 7:15 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Lilith Meets Erdogan: Neo-Sultanism Arises

Renfield R. Renfield was down at the Set Enterprises lab trying out a new experiment with Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster.

Renfield had recently written a movie script about a secret U. S. Army experiment whereby the Pentagon tried to get soldiers to develop their psychic powers by looking at pictures of Playboy bunnies (Renfield intended his movie to be a sequel to the 2009 film The Men Who Stare At Goats. He called his movie The Men Who Stare At Playboy Bunnies).

For more on the background of Renfield’s script, please read here:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2015/10/09/the-men-who-stare-at-playboy-bunnies/

The U.S. Army experiment proved unsuccessful.

But Renfield thought he would try his idea with Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster.

Michelangelo had the ability to enter people’s dreams and see what they were dreaming.

He also had the ability to occasionally pick up radio transmissions from the future.

But so far Michelangelo had failed at the psychic technique of remote viewing.

He did not seem to have the ability to visualize and see what was happening in the present at another location.

Renfield thought that if he showed Michelangelo pictures of Playboy bunnies, this might help his visualization and remote viewing techniques.

Renfield had Michelangelo’s lobster antennae hooked up to the computer so what Michelangelo was receiving or seeing would show up on the computer screen.

Renfield then showed the lobster various pictures of Playboy bunnies.

The computer seemed to shake but no images of remote locations appeared on the screen.

Then Renfield showed the crustacean a nude drawing of Sherlock Holmes’ very beautiful and virtually unknown and forgotten twin sister Sherrielock Holmes.

The power almost went out in the whole facility.

Then an image appeared on the computer screen.

Renfield recognized the locale as one of the rooms in the new Turkish Presidential Palace in Ankara.

He recognized the two people talking in the room.

On the left from the screen’s perspective was the megalomaniacal President of Turkey Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

On the right was the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who was wearing a Byzantine gold coloured evening dress.

Renfield turned up the volume on the computer.

President Erdogan: I still can’t believe that the U.S. hasn’t figured out that I’m the one behind the creation of ISIS or ISIL or IS – whatever the initials of the day are that the brainless western media use for this group.

Lilith: American intelligence takes its cue from its Sleepwalker-In-chief.

Erdogan: Even though I’ve stated publicly on several occasions that I want to restore the Ottoman Empire with myself as Sultan of course…the U.S. still looks upon me as a trustworthy NATO ally.

Lilith: Well Iran’s Supreme Leader the Ayatollah Ali Khameini has consistently said that’s he going to destroy both the U.S. and Israel but Barack Obama signed a peace deal with Iran anyways.

Nimrod The Talking Frog (emerging from between the cleavage of the low-cut top of Lilith’s dress) : That reminds me of a line I heard from a rerun of Seinfeld where Jerry says to George, “I don’t think vomiting is a deal breaker. I’m sure if Hitler had vomited all over Chamberlain, Chamberlain would still have given him Czechoslovakia.”

Erdogan (to Lilith): Your little friend seems to appear out of nowhere in the most unusual places.

Lilith: I know. He gave my last gynecologist a major heart attack on one occasion.

Needless to say, Renfield found this whole conversation very interesting while Michelangelo the red lobster grew redder with each passing second.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 13th
2015.

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A Frog In The Presidential Palace

March 11, 2015 at 5:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

A Frog In The Presidential Palace

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan was walking through the 1,150 rooms of the new Turkish Presidential Palace in Ankara.

As he was walking through the rooms, he was daydreaming in his mind of a referendum in which the populace of Turkey unanimously voted to have him declared Sultan of Turkey.

Today Sultan of Turkey, tomorrow Caliph of the entire world.

Erdogan entered the conservatory which contained luscious plants and artificial waterfalls.

He suddenly noticed a little green frog sitting on one of the plants near the waterfalls.

The frog croaked, “Ribbit, ribbit.”

Erdogan hurriedly left the conservatory and went to one of the Presidential Palace guards.

Said Erdogan to the guard, “There’s a little green frog in that room and he croaked ‘Ribbit, ribbit’ to me. Check him out.”

The guard went into the room and noticed a little green frog sitting on a lily pad near one of the waterfalls.

The frog opened his mouth and said, “I am Nimrod.”

The guard went out into the hall and addressed Erdogan.

“I saw the frog,” said the guard, “but he didn’t say ‘Ribbit, ribbit’, he said, ‘I am Nimrod’.”

“Nonsense you idiot,” Erdogan foamed, “Frogs don’t have the power of speech. Have you been drinking on the job? Although as a good Muslim, you shouldn’t be drinking off the job either.”

Erdogan went into the room and approached the frog.

“Well say, ‘Ribbit, ribbit’,” ordered Erdogan.

The frog opened his mouth and said, “Rabbit, rabbit.”

Erdogan left the room in a huff and went up to the guard.

“Did he say ‘Ribbit, ribbit’?” The guard asked.

“No, he said, ‘Rabbit, rabbit’,” Erdogan replied white as a ghost.

A little white bunny rabbit hopped out of the conservatory room behind Erdogan and then proceeded to hop through the rest of the 1,150 rooms of the Turkish Presidential Palace.

The little green frog followed.

To be continued.

– A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday, March 11th
2015.

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