Hagia Sophia, Erdogan’s Surprise and Qonzilqointec

July 24, 2020 at 10:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

“Satan’s target is the Sacrifice of the Mass and the Real Presence of Jesus in the Consecrated Host.”
-Cardinal Robert Sarah of Guinea

Raphael du Lac was an intelligence operative for a military commander.

He recorded video on his smart phone of the Friday prayer service at Hagia Sophia which had just been converted back into a mosque by Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan the would-be Sultan of a Revived Ottoman Empire.

That night in an Istanbul cafe, Raphael showed the video recordings to his military commander Vlad III of Wallachia aka Vlad Tepes aka Vlad the Impaler.

But better known to the world as Prince Dracula.

Prince Dracula allied with the Byzantine vampiress Theodora against Erdogan.

. . .

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan went to bed this Friday evening feeling immensely pleased with himself.

He read a congratulatory message from Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping.

Xi said that he had instructed that the Hagia Sophia Friday prayer service (which was livestreamed as it happened) be shown on People’s Republic of China state television.

What a splendid fellow this Xi is, Erdogan thought to himself as he washed his Chinese tea down his throat with a Turkish coffee.

The Turkish President had also received an envelope sent to him by British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

What would Renfield be sending him, Erdogan wondered as he opened the envelope.

It was an illuminated medieval manuscript page.

Canto XXVIII of The Inferno of Dante’s Divine Comedy.

The medieval writing was written in Latin.

Erdogan’s knowledge of Latin was miniscule.

Non-existent in fact.

The only person whose knowledge of Latin was possibly worse than his was Pope Francis.

Erdogan immediately sent for a Latin scholar to translate Canto XXVIII of The Inferno of Dante’s Divine Comedy.

When the scholar translated the passage, Erdogan hit the roof.

Looking up at the night sky and the huge assembling mass of bats through the now empty hole in the ceiling, Erdogan vowed to kill Renfield.

. . .

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was walking the streets of Rome on a quiet July evening.

She walked past a near empty cafe where the only customer sitting on the sidewalk was a man with a laptop listening to a Renfield R. Renfield podcast.

She heard Renfield’s voice saying, “I’m not going to ask the question what sort of perverted prophet would have sexual relations with a six year old girl child bride? No, I’m not going to mention that…”

Qonzilqointec continued walking down the street.

She paused to look in the distance at Saint Peter’s Basilica:

Just as the Crescent Moon now formally flew above the Hagia Sophia, soon she realized it would only be a matter of time before the Red Star formally flew over the Vatican.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 24th
2020.

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Lilith Meets Erdogan: Neo-Sultanism Arises

October 13, 2015 at 7:15 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Lilith Meets Erdogan: Neo-Sultanism Arises

Renfield R. Renfield was down at the Set Enterprises lab trying out a new experiment with Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster.

Renfield had recently written a movie script about a secret U. S. Army experiment whereby the Pentagon tried to get soldiers to develop their psychic powers by looking at pictures of Playboy bunnies (Renfield intended his movie to be a sequel to the 2009 film The Men Who Stare At Goats. He called his movie The Men Who Stare At Playboy Bunnies).

For more on the background of Renfield’s script, please read here:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2015/10/09/the-men-who-stare-at-playboy-bunnies/

The U.S. Army experiment proved unsuccessful.

But Renfield thought he would try his idea with Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster.

Michelangelo had the ability to enter people’s dreams and see what they were dreaming.

He also had the ability to occasionally pick up radio transmissions from the future.

But so far Michelangelo had failed at the psychic technique of remote viewing.

He did not seem to have the ability to visualize and see what was happening in the present at another location.

Renfield thought that if he showed Michelangelo pictures of Playboy bunnies, this might help his visualization and remote viewing techniques.

Renfield had Michelangelo’s lobster antennae hooked up to the computer so what Michelangelo was receiving or seeing would show up on the computer screen.

Renfield then showed the lobster various pictures of Playboy bunnies.

The computer seemed to shake but no images of remote locations appeared on the screen.

Then Renfield showed the crustacean a nude drawing of Sherlock Holmes’ very beautiful and virtually unknown and forgotten twin sister Sherrielock Holmes.

The power almost went out in the whole facility.

Then an image appeared on the computer screen.

Renfield recognized the locale as one of the rooms in the new Turkish Presidential Palace in Ankara.

He recognized the two people talking in the room.

On the left from the screen’s perspective was the megalomaniacal President of Turkey Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

On the right was the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who was wearing a Byzantine gold coloured evening dress.

Renfield turned up the volume on the computer.

President Erdogan: I still can’t believe that the U.S. hasn’t figured out that I’m the one behind the creation of ISIS or ISIL or IS – whatever the initials of the day are that the brainless western media use for this group.

Lilith: American intelligence takes its cue from its Sleepwalker-In-chief.

Erdogan: Even though I’ve stated publicly on several occasions that I want to restore the Ottoman Empire with myself as Sultan of course…the U.S. still looks upon me as a trustworthy NATO ally.

Lilith: Well Iran’s Supreme Leader the Ayatollah Ali Khameini has consistently said that’s he going to destroy both the U.S. and Israel but Barack Obama signed a peace deal with Iran anyways.

Nimrod The Talking Frog (emerging from between the cleavage of the low-cut top of Lilith’s dress) : That reminds me of a line I heard from a rerun of Seinfeld where Jerry says to George, “I don’t think vomiting is a deal breaker. I’m sure if Hitler had vomited all over Chamberlain, Chamberlain would still have given him Czechoslovakia.”

Erdogan (to Lilith): Your little friend seems to appear out of nowhere in the most unusual places.

Lilith: I know. He gave my last gynecologist a major heart attack on one occasion.

Needless to say, Renfield found this whole conversation very interesting while Michelangelo the red lobster grew redder with each passing second.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 13th
2015.

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A Frog In The Presidential Palace

March 11, 2015 at 5:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

A Frog In The Presidential Palace

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan was walking through the 1,150 rooms of the new Turkish Presidential Palace in Ankara.

As he was walking through the rooms, he was daydreaming in his mind of a referendum in which the populace of Turkey unanimously voted to have him declared Sultan of Turkey.

Today Sultan of Turkey, tomorrow Caliph of the entire world.

Erdogan entered the conservatory which contained luscious plants and artificial waterfalls.

He suddenly noticed a little green frog sitting on one of the plants near the waterfalls.

The frog croaked, “Ribbit, ribbit.”

Erdogan hurriedly left the conservatory and went to one of the Presidential Palace guards.

Said Erdogan to the guard, “There’s a little green frog in that room and he croaked ‘Ribbit, ribbit’ to me. Check him out.”

The guard went into the room and noticed a little green frog sitting on a lily pad near one of the waterfalls.

The frog opened his mouth and said, “I am Nimrod.”

The guard went out into the hall and addressed Erdogan.

“I saw the frog,” said the guard, “but he didn’t say ‘Ribbit, ribbit’, he said, ‘I am Nimrod’.”

“Nonsense you idiot,” Erdogan foamed, “Frogs don’t have the power of speech. Have you been drinking on the job? Although as a good Muslim, you shouldn’t be drinking off the job either.”

Erdogan went into the room and approached the frog.

“Well say, ‘Ribbit, ribbit’,” ordered Erdogan.

The frog opened his mouth and said, “Rabbit, rabbit.”

Erdogan left the room in a huff and went up to the guard.

“Did he say ‘Ribbit, ribbit’?” The guard asked.

“No, he said, ‘Rabbit, rabbit’,” Erdogan replied white as a ghost.

A little white bunny rabbit hopped out of the conservatory room behind Erdogan and then proceeded to hop through the rest of the 1,150 rooms of the Turkish Presidential Palace.

The little green frog followed.

To be continued.

– A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday, March 11th
2015.

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