Dr. Marmalade Montague and The Alien Saviour

December 14, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Science, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Set Enterprises’ eccentric researcher Dr. Marmalade Montague was talking to Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

“I’ve been studying cults and their methods of mind control,” Dr. Montague commented.

“That’s nice,” Dr. Rocher remarked as he was studying his great-grandmother’s recipe for duck a l’orange with which he intended to surprise his wife and family on Christmas Day.

“Did you know that there are a few cults that use drugs as a form of mind control?” Dr. Montague pointed out.

“I’ve heard that,” Dr. Rocher wondered why Sherrielock Holmes (his immortal and forever youthful great-grandmother) would add Bavarian wild mushrooms to Duck a l’Orange.

“Do you know there are some Vatican cardinals who are expecting the arrival of an alien saviour?” Montague had had this information relayed to him by Samhaim Cardinal Salaman.

“Do you mean alien as in immigrant refugee?” Dr. Rocher was baffled by the adding of cranberries to Duck a l’orange.

“No, alien as in ET,” Dr. Montague answered.

“ET?” Dr. Rocher looked up from the adding of black licorice whips, Welch’s blue grape juice and tomatoed buns to Duck a l’orange.

“As in Extraterrestrial visitor from another world,” Dr. Montague took off his tin foil Viking helmet with buffalo horns.

“Wow, that is different,” Dr. Rocher returned to his recipe.

“Do you suppose Pope Francis believes in an alien ET saviour since all indications are he doesn’t seem to believe in Jesus Christ as true God incarnate as man?” Dr. Montague inquired.

“I have no idea,” Dr. Rocher was wondering whether he shouldn’t try a recipe for lasagne a la Giordano Bruno that he had just found on the Internet rather than his great-grandmother’s recipe for Duck a l’orange.

“Do you suppose Pope Francis reads Chinese?” Montague inquired.

“Don’t know,” Dr. Montague phoned Lydo’s of London Chinese Food at 426-5050 Baker Street as he was starting to get the munchies after smoking his hybrid t-rex giraffe Julius’ Rastafarian peace pipe.

“Because he approved the CCP’s Chinese translation of the Bible to be used by the Catholic Church in China,” Dr. Montague pointed out.

“Well that would make more sense than approving a Hebridean Gaelic translation of the Bible to be used by the Catholic Church in China,” Dr. Rocher remarked.

“Well, you know the Gospel of John Chapter 8 verses 3 to 11 where the Pharisees present Christ with the woman taken in adultery and say she should be stoned (as in rocks thrown at her not in the psychedelic sense) to death in accordance with Moses’ law and Christ says, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” and so all the Pharisees left and didn’t stone her?” Dr. Montague explained.

“I seem to recall that story from Sunday School,” Dr. Rocher sipped some milk and ate some cookies.”

“Well in the CCP approved Chinese Bible translation of that chapter and verse, Jesus says, “I am a sinful man myself and even though I am a sinful man, I am going to fulfill the law” and he picks up the rocks and stones her to death himself,” Dr. Montague noted.

“What?” This time Dr. Rocher was genuinely shocked, “Jesus Christ is presented as both a sinful man and a murderer in the CCP Chinese Bible translation that Pope Francis approved?”.

“He is,” Dr. Montague nodded.

“Wow,” Dr. Rocher was stunned by this news.

“So maybe Francis is more a Vicar of an Alien Saviour rather than a Vicar of Christ,” Dr. Montague noted.

“And maybe someone in the Vatican wants to use drugs (like in a mind control cult that uses drugs for mind control),” Dr. Montague went on, “to get the world’s population to accept a supposedly alien ET saviour when he arrives.”

“How would you get most of the world’s population to use this drug to accept someone as an alien ET saviour?” Dr. Rocher asked.

“What,” Dr. Montague went on like an enthusiastic Sherlock Holmes at 221 B Baker Baker Street, “if it was put into a vaccine to battle what is called a worldwide pandemic?”.


This year’s 2020 Sci-Fi Cyborg Nativity Scene in Saint Peter’s Square:
Conditioning humanity to accept an Alien ET Saviour?


Aliens, aliens, everywhere and not a drop to drink?
But what about a drug rush?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 14th
2020.

Permalink 6 Comments

Mount Hermon and The UFOs

November 3, 2015 at 8:21 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Mount Hermon and The UFOs

Yuri, a pilot in the Russian Air Force, was doing a reconnaissance mission over Mount Hermon on the border between Lebanon, Syria and the Israeli occupied Golan Heights.

Yuri radioed in to base.

“Central Command, have spotted a series of UFOs over Mount Hermon. Should I engage?” asked Yuri.

“Yuri, this is Central Command,” the voice on the radio answered, “please clarify what you mean by UFOs?”.

“Flying saucers,” Yuri replied, “what are called extraterrestrial spacecraft or ET vehicles in popular movies. Repeat question, should I engage?”.

“How many would you estimate are there?” The voice on the radio inquired.

“According to in-flight computer calculations of the blips on the radar, exactly 200,” Yuri answered, “repeat question, should I engage?”.

“Negative, Yuri,” the voice ordered, “Get to Hell out of there and get back to base.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 3rd
2015.

Permalink 16 Comments

Men In Black The Day After

May 15, 2014 at 6:36 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Men In Black The Day After

The head of the Men In Black for the State of Arizona was busy chewing out two of his men for last night’s fiasco in the desert outside Mesa, Arizona.

One man he chewed out for allowing an ET gray to escape amidst a crowd of drunken pot- smoking concert goers in their late teens and early 20s.

The man protested that he couldn’t tell the difference.

The other man in black was chewed out for wearing a bright yellow plaid jacket to last night’s fiasco instead of the traditional Men In Black black jacket.

“But I spilled white donut powder over my black jacket after eating 24 boxes of dozen white sprinkled jelly donuts,” the heavyset man protested, “and I didn’t have time to clean it when the call came in about the UFO crash on the mesa outside Mesa. The only jacket I had available that was clean was my tight fitting yellow plaid jacket.”

“And it was your glow-in-the dark yellow plaid jacket that alerted the ET gray to our coming,” his superior foamed as he fumed, “besides which you must keep a clean black jacket on hand at all times not a clean plaid jacket. After all, we’re called the Men In Black not the Men In Plaid.”

. . .

Amadeus Emanon was watching the old 1980s Steve Martin comedy Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid when the phone rang.

Renfield R. Renfield answered it.

He then turned as white as the hamster whiskers he had on those occasions when he shapeshifted into a hamster.

He put the phone down.

He went to the refrigerator to drink a bottle of cranberry juice and a bottle of grape juice to add some colour back to his cheeks.

He returned looking more his natural self.

“What was that phone call about?” a concerned Amadeus asked as he ate a chocolate covered glazed donut that spilled all over his yellow shirt.

“It was the Boss’ Archenemy the Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis,” Renfield replied, “she wants to hire me to steal an ET gray’s laser death ray gun for her.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 15th
2014.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Illegal Alien?

May 14, 2014 at 7:14 pm (Entertainment, Music, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Illegal Alien?

In the desert outside the City of Mesa, Arizona was an open-air concert in the night.

Lana was attending with friends.

She was brunette, 19-years-old and wearing a black mini dress with a picture of ET on it.

The band that was playing the open air concert in the desert was Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers.

They were a group that played an electronic version of Renaissance and Baroque music.

Their lead instrumentalist Nero Wilson was an electric violinist who had failed miserably at fulfilling his mother’s ambition for him to become Mayor of Cleveland Ohio.

Their lead singer Sekhmet on stage wearing a lion-skin mini dress was an Egyptian Vampiress suffering from amnesia.

They had just come back to America from a 3-year stint performing in the United Kingdom and Europe.

For a while last year they had a non-electronic instrumentalist in the form of one Pan Goatee who played the pan pipes.

Suspected by Scotland Yard and German police of being a serial killer, Pan Goatee now worked as a hired assassin for the U.S. government.

The concert finished with Nero Wilson’s hit song Rome Is Burning Like An Arizona Wildfire.

With lights and electronic fires going off on stage, no one else but Lana noticed the UFO falling from the sky after striking the mesa and then falling to the desert where it burst into flame.

Lana ran in the direction of the fallen UFO while her friends remained behind to cheer and applaud the band.

She came across the remains of the charred UFO.

There on the sandy ground next to the crashed vehicle was the body of a gray (for Lana knew her ET vocabulary) about 4 feet in height.

His/her eyes were closed.

Lana wasn’t sure whether the being was dead or not.

Suddenly the creature opened its eyes and spoke in perfect English, “Take me to your Pope.”

Lana was taken aback.

Being a fan of 1950s sci-fi films, she was under the impression that if ET aliens spoke English, their first words would be “Take me to your leader.”

While the current Pope was certainly very popular, both Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin would probably vigorously object to the Pope being considered the leader of planet Earth.

To say nothing of what her Belfast-born Northern Ireland Presbyterian grandfather would have to say on this subject.

Just then bright lights shone in the direction of the ET gray and Lana.

It was the headlights from a jeep belonging to the U.S. Border Patrol.

“U.S. Border Patrol,” the uniformed officer shouted from the jeep, “on the lookout for illegal aliens. I want to see your proper documentation and I’m not going to ask twice.”

Indeed the man did not ask twice.

For he was immediately disintegrated by the laser death ray fired from the ET gray’s gun.

In the distance, the Men In Black were already on their way.

To be continued.

– A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 14th
2014.

Permalink Leave a Comment