ET Gray Gali-Gula Encounters The Black Dragon

April 2, 2019 at 10:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The ET gray Gali-Gula was sitting on the beach at Vancouver’s English Bay drinking bottles of Molson Canadian beer.

He had found an old fashioned dictionary on the beach (books along with encyclopedias which were no longer used in the age of the Internet).

Gali-Gula was surprised to see that when he looked up the word “Sleazebag” in the dictionary that Canadian Privy Council clerk Michael Wernick’s picture was there.

This depressed Gali-Gula as it reminded him of the SNC-Lavalin scandal in which his good buddy Justin Trudeau was involved.

A scandal which probably wouldn’t have happened if his good buddy Justin still had access to his pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever and was able to inhale the prickly little creature’s exhaled pot smoke.

For Justin was only able to see Gali-Gula (an ET gray from the planet Nibiru who was possessed by the ghost of the late earthling ancient Roman Emperor Caligula) when he inhaled pot smoke.

But thanks to Canada stupidly arresting Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou on behalf of the U.S. government last December 1st, Chinese government operatives had in retaliation kidnapped Justin’s pot smoking cactus plant.

For a while, the prickly little fellow had been held captive in Calypso’s Bosom a Brigadoon style mystical village hippy commune on the Sechelt Peninsula which only emerged from its pot smoking mystical haze once every 7 years to appear to mortal eyes.

Seeing as how the cactus seemed to be enjoying his environment a little too much, it was moved to a Chinese Government Re-Education camp for transgendered Uighurs in the Xinjiang region of China where cannabis and pot smoking was definitely not allowed.

Seeing as how Justin was deprived of his access to pot smoke through the cactusnapping and captivity of Strawberry Fields Forever, he was unable to see and hear Gali-Gula for advice.

Now whenever Justin set out to make an ass of himself which was quite often, Gali-Gula would advise him not to do it.

When Justin listened to Gali-Gula’s advice, he didn’t make an ass of himself.

When he refused to heed Gali-Gula’s advice, he always made an ass out of himself.

But when Strawberry Fields Forever was kidnapped, Gali-Gula was invisible to Canada’s Prime Minister and was unable to warn Justin Trudeau not to pressure his Attorney-General and Justice Minister Jody Wilson-Raybould into intervening to protect the Quebec based construction firm SNC-Lavalin from criminal prosecution.

As such, Justin now found himself embroiled in the biggest political scandal his government had ever faced.

His poll numbers were dropping faster than flies at a Bill Clinton and White House Intern Reunion Convention.

And earlier this evening, both Jody Wilson-Raybould and her friend former Treasury Board President Jane Philpott had been booted off the deck of the Titanic that is the Canadian Federal Liberal Party caucus.

The iceberg of this fall’s Federal election loomed ahead.

And all because a bunch of West Coast potheads in the Vancouver Crown Prosecutor’s office, Canada Customs and the RCMP decided to follow U.S. government orders and arrest Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou.

Speaking of West Coast potheads, almost everyone on the beach at Vancouver’s English Bay could see him.

They waved and asked for autographs.

A Black Dragon suddenly emerged from the waters of English Bay and approached the ET gray.

Most of the potheads could not see him.

“That’s because I have the ability to cloud their minds with rational thought- something their minds cannot handle,” the Black Dragon answered Gali-Gula because he could read his mind, “most U.S. politicians of all political stripes are unable to see me for the same reason.”

“Who are you?” Gali-Gula asked.

“I am the Black Dragon,” the Black Dragon bowed, “Supernatural entity advisor to China’s paramount leader.”

“I’m Gali-Gula, former ET gray advisor to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau,” the little extraterrestrial looked sad.

“I know,” the Black Dragon smiled, “I advised Xi Jinping to abduct Strawberry Fields Forever.”

“You!” Gali-Gula looked angry.

“Don’t worry,” the Black Dragon breathed fire reassuringly, “he’s being held in a pot free zone- a government re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in Xinjiang.”

At that moment a news story about transgenders broke on a nearby pothead’s radio.

The B.C. Human Rights Commission had recently fined somebody for saying that a transgendered political candidate had been born a biological male.

In response to the huge fine, genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had flown in from Alberta and had beheaded all the members of the B.C. Human Rights Commission.

He then put all the severed heads under the bedsheets in a bed owned by a transgendered Hollywood producer in Los Angeles along with an old autographed photo of Marlon Brando as the Godfather and an old autographed photo of 1960s TV star Mr. Ed The Talking Horse.

The producer screamed when he woke up in bed this morning and found all the items, the radio announcer noted.

“So you’ve come to gloat about holding Strawberry Fields Forever hostage?” Gali-Gula turned his attention back to the supernatural visitor from China.

“Yes,” the Black Dragon roasted some hot dogs for a bunch of potheads who were undergoing the munchies, “I’m actually on my way to Venezuela to give a King Henry V style Saint Crispin’s Day speech to 120 Chinese soldiers there who have joined 100 Russian soldiers there. Buenos Nochos.”

Gali-Gula whose Spanish wasn’t as good as the Black Dragon suddenly felt a craving for some good nachos.

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Pike’s Peak

March 15, 2019 at 9:36 pm (Crime, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee was getting out a lot more as the city’s long cold winter was coming to an end.

Sadly so were the city’s vast array of repulsively ugly looking women.

The genetic interbreeding between the city’s stupid white males (whom the brainless Neo-Nazis considered the master race) and the city’s walruses, stoats and sewer rats had produced a vast array of ugliness unsurpassed in human history.

What passed for female among much of the city’s population no doubt was the reason why Calgary-Centre was the federal constituency with the greatest proportion of male homosexuals in Canada even higher than the numerous fruit belts on Canada’s West Coast.

Goatee was just returning from a McDonald’s restaurant when sadly a fat ugly blimp came waddling up the street ruining what had been until then a great spring evening.

Goatee once again clutched his trusty laser astral machete and beheaded the loathsome creature.

He cut the body up into 666 trillion pieces and once again called on his trusted confrere Krampus The 2nd of the DARPA Hazardous Waste Disposal and Removal Unit to bag up the remains and take them to the flames of Tartarus to be burnt.

It was no doubt this which was the primary cause of climate change and not bovine flatulence as the airheads behind the Green New Deal would suggest.

. . .

Donald Trump was pissed off.

How dare Republican Senators in his own party vote to overturn his declaration of a national emergency?

“I’ve been stabbed in the back,” Trump angrily pounded his desk.

“Beware the Ides of March, Julius, beware the ides of March,” Trump’s pet Norwegian blue parrot squawked from inside his cage.

Trump looked at the date on his calendar.

March 15th.

What was this Ides of March that his parrot was referring to?

Trump’s Norwegian blue parrot, of course, had a classical education.

Trump himself did not.

. . .

The ET gray Gali-Gula (possessed by the ghost of the late earthling ancient Roman Emperor Caligula) sat in a Toronto nightclub where indoor pot smoking was allowed.

This would allow other people to see him as people only seemed to be able to see him when they were high on cannabis smoke.

When his good friend Justin Trudeau had his genetically created marijuana smoking desert cactus plant called Strawberry Fields Forever available to him in the Prime Ministerial Greenhouse, he was able to talk to Justin because then the Prime Minister could see him after inhaling the desert cactus plant’s exhaled pot smoke.

But as soon as Canada arrested Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou, Chinese intelligence agents had abducted the cannabis inhaling prickly little creature and were holding him hostage in a re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in western China in exchange for Meng’s release.

Gali-Gula watched the television where it was announced that Scarborough Ontario born and raised YouTube comedian Lilly Singh would be hosting her own late night TV talk show on NBC starting this fall:

I imagine Justin would be pleased to hear that a Canadian would be hosting a late night talk show on a major U.S. network, Gali-Gula thought.


Scarborough Ontario born and raised Lilly Singh hosting a late night talk show in the fall

. . .

Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike was currently visiting Rome on business.

The man who had been genetically cloned from locks of hair belonging to the racist Freemasonic practicing occultist Confederate Brigadier-General Albert Pike in a Knoxville Tennessee laboratory by Nazi scientist Dr. Eckhart Fromm back in 1966 (Dr. Fromm had been smuggled into the U.S. along with other leading Nazi scientists through Operation Paperclip at the end of World War II).

Pike had ordered himself a glass of champagne to toast today’s racist terrorist attacks on two mosques in Christchurch New Zealand which killed 49 people and injured 48 others.

Promoting hatred and intolerance between difference races and religions was one surefire way to restore the Thousand Year Reich of the Nazis.

Pike smiled as he thought of all the carnage down in Christchurch.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was spending Friday night alone.

The ghosts of Orson Welles and Winston Churchill were down in Purgatory attending a lecture given by the ghost of Rev. Ian Paisley on what Brexit will mean for Northern Ireland.

His friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont were out on a date.

And the entire country seemed to have lost its senses over the possibility of the United Kingdom facing a no deal Brexit.

Renfield wondered whether it was a trick of light and shadow on this night but it almost looked like the sinister shadow of a swastika was trying to envelop the marble bust head of Sir Winston Churchill in his office.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 15th
2019.

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Gali-Gula and Justin Trudeau At The Calgary Stampede

July 15, 2017 at 6:22 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Gali-Gula and Justin Trudeau At The Calgary Stampede

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was at the Calgary Stampede today.

As he went around acknowledging the crowds and acknowledging the boos, Justin hoped he wouldn’t run into any one smoking marijuana during the Stampede.

On every occasion when he inhaled even a whiff of marijuana, he’d always run into that annoying ET gray from the planet Nibiru- an ET gray named Gali-Gula (whose extraterrestrial 👽 body was possessed by the ghost of the late ancient earthling Roman Emperor Caligula).

Seeing Gali-Gula at the recent Canada 🇨🇦 Day 150 celebrations in Ottawa had so flabbergasted Justin, he forgot to mention the province of Alberta in his Parliament Hill speech.

Now as he walked around the Stampede grounds, he hoped he wouldn’t catch a whiff of marijuana.

He happened to notice a group of people holding up a sign saying WE SUPPORT A CARBON TAX.

He went over to talk to them and caught the biggest whiff of marijuana smoke imaginable from the group.

“Oh, no!” Justin quickly walked away.

He went to talk to another group of people.

And in the crowd, ET gray Gali-Gula asked him, “If I threw a grenade and killed someone, would you pay me $10.5 million like you did Omar Khadr?”.

“Fuck you asshole!” An angry 😡 Justin replied.

“What was that?” Alberta Premier Rachel Notley looked at Justin with a great look of astonishment and horror.

“Sorry,” Justin apologized, ” I was talking to Gali-Gula the ET gray standing behind you.”

People looked and not seeing anyone there, they raised their eyebrows and looked suspiciously at Justin.

Justin was then called away to officially open a rubber duck pond which had never been officially opened during the whole time of the Stampede.

As Justin pronounced the words “I officially declare this rubber duck pond open”, Gali-Gula held up a sign that said, THE RUBAIYAT OF OMAR KHAYYAM – 11th CENTURY AD. THE RUBY YACHT OF OMAR KHADR- 21St CENTURY AD.

“Go fuck yourself, you tiny little son of a bitch,” Justin screamed.

A small child broke into tears.

“No, no,” Justin apologized, “I didn’t mean you.”

Two of the Prime Minister’s aides looked at one another.

They better get the Prime Minister the Hell out of here before he inflicted any more collateral damage.

They grabbed him and ran straight out of the Stampede grounds.

A 75-year-old ramrod straight cowboy in an ancient looking white Stetson (who had no use for anyone with the last name of Trudeau) shouted after him, “Hey you bum, it’s going to be difficult taking your shirt off for a selfie while you’re wearing a straight jacket.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 15th
2017.

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Gali-Gula The ET Gray: A Song: A Poem

August 15, 2016 at 12:46 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Poetry, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

When it comes to UFO abductions, there’s a fellow who’s a real pain in the rear
His name is Gali-Gula and he grins from ear to ear
He’s Gali-Gula who everyone should meet
Happy Gali-Gula keeps his UFO looking neat

A debauched Roman Emperor
who wound up devoid of klemperor
he’s Gali-Gula who everyone should meet
Happy Gali-Gula keeps his UFO looking neat

He took a pee in the corner one night
drinking martinis before flying- not so bright
when Sherrielock Holmes saw him in the nude
and finding this rather rude
to say nothing of being crude
she tomatoed him black and blued

Now his buns are aglow like a laser beam
his galaxial reputation come apart at the seam

But he still smiles by the dawn’s early light
although his tomatoed buns be a frightful sight
he was still smiling when he fell over unconscious
his buns as red as those old Bolsheviks obnoxious

Sherrielock Holmes left him lying there
but stopped at the mirror to brush her hair
and then the leather skirted dominatrix vanished out of sight
with the ET gray’s buttocks still glowing bright
NASA and DARPA got there in the dead of night
by which time the ETs took Gali out of sight

-An erotic BDSM science-fiction poem
(a la Anne Rice as A,N. Roquelaure meets Ray Bradbury)
written by Christopher
Sunday August 14th 2016.

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Gali-Gula: From Roman Emperor To ET

August 12, 2016 at 12:56 pm (Fantasy, Ghost Story, History, Humour, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

To his surprise, the ancient Roman Emperor Caligula found himself being assassinated by his own Praetorian Guard on January 24th, 41 AD.

His last words were, “A horse. The Roman Senate for a horse. Where is the noblest Senator of them all? A true neigh-sayer as opposed to nay sayer..”

He then gave up the ghost.

Members of the Praetorian Guard ran off in search of some Caligulan Mark Antony who would come to bury Caligula rather than to praise him.

At that moment, a UFO (although the ancient Romans called them a flying chariot) hovered over Caligula’s dead body.

“This appears to be the leader,” said one ET gray to the other.

“But they just killed him,” said the other ET gray.

“It saves on the cost of a re-election campaign obviously,” the UFO commander stated.

The UFO then beamed up the dead body into the UFO.

“We’ll take it back to our planet for examination,” stated the UFO commander.

“Over my dead body,” Caligula’s ghost followed his body into the UFO.

On Planet Nibiru, Caligula’s body was dissected in a lab while Caligula’s ghost watched singing a sad mournful melody (whose lyrics he later shared with Patsy Kline), “I fall to pieces…”

Finally Niburu’s top scientist took pity on Caligula’s poor ghost and invited him to enter the frozen ET gray body of a long dead Niburuan king.

The Niburuan king who was dying of an incurable disease had his body frozen in the hopes that Niburuan medical science would find a cure for his disease.

TransNiburuan scientists who were convinced they could stumble on immortality by merging Niburuan and machine together creating niborgs worked on a solution.

Unfortunately TransNiburuan scientists put all their data in one computer.

As the leading TransNiburuan scientist watched (while sitting on and crushing the one basket where Transniburuan scientists had put all their eggs for lunch), the computer had its plug pulled by a drunken Niburuan otter who had drunk too much Otter Brew (apparently otters on Nibiru were as mischievous as their counterparts on Earth).

The resulting fiasco led to a century of TransNiburuan scientific data being lost as well as the planet’s moratorium on hunting otters being lifted.

And now Caligula’s ghost entered the long dead Niburuan king’s body as the scientist threw a switch bringing the body back to life with Caligula’s ghost inside.

It worked.

As the scientist ran to tell his colleagues that he had re-discovered one of the secrets of long lost Transniburuan scientific technology, he opened the door and not seeing the drunken otter lying there, he tripped over it, fell down the stairs and broke his neck.

So one of the secrets of long lost Transniburuan technology was again lost.

And the planet’s moratorium on hunting otters was once again lifted.

The nude ET gray (with Caligula’s ghost inside) became the commander of the Niburuan UFO ship The Gunterpunter.

Calling himself by his earthly name Caligula, the former Roman Emperor now an ET gray visited Earth. He visited the jungles of Borneo in the Malaysian province of Sarawak where he encountered a little Earthling girl.

“I am Caligula,” the ET gray pointed to himself.

“Gali-Gula,” replied the little girl who could not pronounce Caligula, “You nude. You not wearing any panties. You pervert.”

“Sherrie,” a female voice called out to the little girl.

“Andromeda,” a male voice called out to the little girl.

“Sherrie,” the female voice became a lot more insistent in its tone.

The little girl ran back into the jungle.

And Caligula the former Roman Emperor now re-named Gali-Gula the ET gray stood by himself.

How did the little girl know that he was a pervert? Gali-Gula (formerly Caligula) wondered to himself.

Had one so young read Suetonius’s The Lives of The Twelve Caesars?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 11th 2016.

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