Xi Jinping Plans To Bang Italian Harlot In Shanghai While Continuing With His World Domination Plans

December 19, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Communist China’s paramount leader the evil megalomaniac Xi Jinping was talking to his Supernaturnal entity advisor the Black Dragon who had emerged from a black hole in the Andromeda Galaxy eons ago.

“Heilong,” Xi asked the Black Dragon, “What’s the name of that airheaded Italian harlot I always bang whenever I visit Shanghai?”.

“That would be Ambra Schilliro the Italian Commie journalist and Babylonianish harlot social butterfly who flutters around on her Social Cloud spreading Chinese Communist Party Public Relations (what British MP Renfield R. Renfield refers to as Neo-Maoist propaganda and bullshit) in the countries of China, Italy, the U.S. and Korea.”

Xi putting on a fertilizer cologne, “Yes, that’s the one. Book me an appointment with her for tonight.”

“But I understand 666 members of the Shanghai branch of the CCP had booked to bang her in one massive gang bang tonight,” Heilong pointed out.

“Well, put them on hold,” Xi foamed, “As always happens to me when I use my Huawei phone these days. I had to break down and start using Samsung.”

A PLA soldier approaches Xi, “Your Almightiness, we regret to report that our People’s Red Army just got our asses kicked by India’s Army on the India-China border again.”

“Well cover it up like we did before,” Xi barked.

Later in Shanghai, Xi paid a visit to the Italian harlot Ambra Schilliro.

He inserted his organ into Ambra’s mouth.

“Think of it as sucking on an egg roll,” Xi said neglecting to mention that egg rolls were a lot larger.

He then inserted it into the orifice between her front legs.

And then inserted it into the orifice between her back legs.

And then inserted it into her left nostril.

“Think of it as a Covid-19 test,” Xi had said.

He then inserted it into her right nostril.

“Think of it as a Covid-19 re-test,” Xi pontificated.

He then inserted it into her right ear.

“Think of it as a wax cleaning,” Xi smiled.

He then inserted it into her left ear as he remarked, “More wax cleaning.”

Heilong had put on dark sunglasses as he watched the spectacle.

“That Italian harlot,” Heilong noted, “seems to be getting as many orifices penetrated as Procopius the Byzantine historian (and secretary to the Byzantine general Belisarius) noted happened to Justinian’s wife the Empress Theodora in Procopius’ Secret History.”

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who had dropped into Shanghai to pick up an order of Shanghai Fried Rice) overheard Heilong’s remarks and said, “Everything Procopius wrote about me is a lie.”


Theodora: Everything Procopius wrote about her is a lie

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 19th
2020.

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Renfield Ends His Podcast With A Song

August 23, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Music, News, Songs, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Sunday night livestream video podcast analyzing geopolitical affairs and current events.

Tonight he decided to end his podcast by singing a song.

He came down to the last item before singing a song,

“Last night my best sources in Istanbul tell me that the Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who in her mortal life had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian the Great) beat the crap out of Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan for turning a former Orthodox Byzantine Christian monastery into an Islamic mosque.
She couldn’t have beat the entire crap out of him because if she had, there wouldn’t have been much left of him. If she had beat the entire crap out of him, they could have buried him in a cigar box.”

Renfield then broke into a song.

It was a country music song in which Renfield gave a stirring country musical rendition – a combination of the voices of Johnny Cash, Kenny Rogers and Marty Robbins rolled into one.

Sang Renfield,

“When the moo cows, when they make milk,
It’s the only milk I do adore,
When the moon shines over the cow shed,
I hope the cows are making plenty more…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 23rd
2020.

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