Lepardia Marango Plans To Save Renfield’s Life While Andrew Cuomo Sacrifices A Groundhog For Groundhog Day

February 2, 2019 at 11:52 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


Lepardia Marango the cultural attache at the South African Embassy in London in a Film Noir genre style photo shoot with the ghost of classic filmmaker Orson Welles

Lepardia Marango was officially the cultural attache at the South African Embassy in London.

Unofficially she was a spy for the foreign branch of South Africa's intelligence service.

Today she was being a model for the ghost of Orson Welles who was doing a Film Noir genre style photo shoot using colour film photography.

Most of the great Film Noir movies of the 1940s and 1950s were shot in black and white although a few were shot in colour.

The 1982 film Blade Runner which could be seen as a Film Noir movie, classic 1940s style detective tale and futuristic sci-fi thriller combined in one was shot in colour.

As was the 1997 film L.A. Confidential (which was sort of a combination Film Noir genre style movie and classic early 1950s style crime police drama) shot in colour.

Now Welles' ghost was trying his spectral hand at shooting a Film Noir himself in colour.

Welles had recently been in Chicago caught in the polar vortex snow storm from Hell that had been caused by the Norse goddess called Hel.

But he got tired of being a spectator at tantric sex encounters where Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was busy making out with various vampiresses, goddesses and women mystics.

So Welles returned to his current earthly home in London, England (Welles had been granted dispensational leave from Purgatory by Hades and Persephone the rulers of the Underworld in order to be able to serve as a spirit advisor to British MP Renfield R. Renfield along with the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill).

When the photo shoot was over, Lepardia Marango returned to her apartment.

While there, she received a text message from the South African cultural attache in Moscow (who was also a spy for the foreign branch of South Africa's intelligence service).

Apparently the Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva was in London where she was planning to assasinate British MP Renfield R. Renfield at a darts tournament at the Clytemnestra's Revenge and Agamemnon's Bathtub Pub and Beef House in London.

The plot had been arranged by Russia's Vladimir Putin, Turkey's Recep Tayyip Erdogan and Pakistan's Imran Khan (whom Renfield had threatened to blow his testicles off with a .44 Magnum unless Asia Bibi was allowed to leave Pakistan) and Svetlana had been selected to carry it out.

Lepardia entered the pub where she shouted "Stop!" causing Renfield to miss his shot and lose the tournament but saving his life.

. . .

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was in upstate New York where he would be sacrificing a live groundhog to show the world what a kind and compassionate person he was.

Joining him in the furry little weather prognosticator's sacrifice was Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam who mercifully was wearing a paper bag over his head so no one would recognize him now that his racist Ku Klux Klan college photo from 1984 had gone viral.

The groundhog was sacrificed in front of a statue of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft.

Hecate: To whose statue the poor little groundhog was sacrificed

After the sacrifice, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo received a text message from Pope Francis where the pontiff bestowed on the leading Democratic Party politician a special apostolic blessing.

Not far from the Bishop of Rome stood Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal who, along with the Vampiric Knights-Templar and the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow, had taken over the Vatican back on October 13th 2017.

Allatallahbel the vampiress priestess of Baal who had recently dyed her hair red in honour of the recent Super Blood Wolf Moon.

"Well," Allatallahbel laughed, "It doesn't look like Vitae (which was the name of the little groundhog in Sleepy Hollow in upstate New York- editor's note) will be around to enjoy either a late spring or an early spring."

. . .


The Austro-Croatian mystic Maria Orsic calls out to Dracul Van Helsing in her hotel room in the Mysterious Goddess Hotel in Chicago,
"Once more for new time's sake please, Mr. Van Helsing."

. . .

Meanwhile in Nairobi Kenya, the Kenyan vampire huntress Megan Shimbiro had been informed that the Nazi vampire Franz Kohler undead and very very very late of the Ahnenerbe Nazi SS Occult Bureau was up to some sort of nefarious activity in Kenya.


The Kenyan vampire huntress Megan Shimbiro on the lookout for the Nazi vampire Franz Kohler of the Ahnenerbe Nazi SS Occult Bureau.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 2nd
2019.

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Sol Invictus Set Leaves Berlin For London November 28th 1938

November 28, 2018 at 11:57 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The London based wealthy Egyptian vampire and businessman Sol Invictus Set had spent the past week touring Berlin with Der Fuhrer Hitler’s personal architect Albert Speer.

Speer was telling Set all the exciting buildings and statues he planned to build when the city became Germania the capital of the world.

He even introduced Set to the Persian goddess Anahita who knew how to bring statues to life.

A rather obnoxious individual (in Set’s opinion) Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau kept following them around taking notes.

Thus preventing Set from having some private time to make out with her.

Anahita went flying back to Tehran yesterday November 27th.

So Set had no more reason to remain in Berlin.

He decided to fly back to London today.

There waiting for him on the airport tarmac and leaning on his plane’s wing was the Norse Germanic goddess Freya:

Later as the plane was flying back to London, the plane’s German co-pilot Werner Von Wagner remarked to his British co-pilot Albert Von Elgar, “It seems extra foggy over the channel today.”

“I think it’s because of what the Boss and Freya are currently doing in the single back passenger seat that’s fogging up the window,” Elgar replied.

“I wonder if Errol Flynn will be the actor they hire to play the Boss in a movie,” said Wagner as the plane landed in a lake in England’s Lake District so admired by William and Dorothy Wordsworth.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 28th
2018.

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Pan Goatee’s Horrible Friday

August 17, 2018 at 11:09 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee’s Horrible Friday

DARPA contract assassin and genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was not having a good Friday.

An ugly looking high school girl stood in front of him as he rode the Public Transit Train.

So he promptly beheaded her with his laser astral machete.

Some of the passengers weren’t pleased with his actions judging by the expressions on their faces so he beheaded them as well.

He sang a song that went “A serial killer’s lot is not a happy one” (his own paraphrased version of an old British Gilbert and Sullivan comic operetta song about policemen).

Then when he was walking to his favourite beer 🍺 🍻 parlour to enjoy a cool 😎 refreshing drink on this hot and very dry summer day, a fat ugly blimp walked right in front of him to ruin his pleasant afternoon.

He promptly beheaded the fat ugly blimp and then kicked her head down the street as if he were a FIFA World Cup Football (what they stupidly call soccer ⚽️ in North America thought the British genetically created satyr) player moving through his opponents as if they were slow moving sardines to score the winning World Cup final goal.

As he kicked the extremely hideous and repulsive looking soccer ball (what they’d call a football in Britain, Europe and the rest of the world outside egocentric North America), he sang his own paraphrased version of that old Irish ☘️ Rovers song Lord of the Dance,

“Blimps, blimps, where ever you may be,
I’ll cut your head off to make the world more pretty
And I’ll cut your head off where ever you may be
and help make this world a lot more pretty.”

His favourite beer parlour turned out to be very crowded so after cutting the heads off of all the patrons inside, he then decided to go to another pub as the amount of blood all over the place would probably lead to the bar being closed and shut down for violating City Health Regulations.

He decided to head back home.

He then caught the public transit train and then a bus.

Another ugly woman tried to board the bus in front of him so he cut off her head as well.

After getting home, he decided to walk up to the grocery store to get a few groceries.

He encountered a few ugly women on the way there and back so he beheaded them as well.

“What’s the world coming to these days?” Pan Goatee thought to himself, “You can’t even peacefully go grocery shopping anymore without your eyes being visually assaulted by some specimen of misshapen ugly UFO alien-cow impregnated semi-human allegedly female hybrid. Rod Serling was truly prophetic with his TV series The Twilight Zone. That’s exactly what we’re living in- The Twilight Zone. Proof positive that the Apocalypse and the days of the Antichrist are upon us.”

Pan Goatee made the Sign of the Cross and said a Hail Mary (while accidentally spilling ketchup all over his Tom Brady New England Patriots #12 jersey).

He then tried to make himself supper when one of his stupid housemates bitched at him for trying to use the microwave even though the bastard wasn’t even using the microwave at the time.

Pan Goatee was fed up (considering the horrible day he had) and beheaded his housemate.

He then wondered what would happen to a human head if one put it on HIGH in the microwave for 5 minutes.

Pan Goatee decided to try it.

It turned out what happens is that the eyeballs in the human head totally explode and a whole bunch of blood, pus and what little brains the PBS hating and opera hating and Turner Classic Movie hating housemate had splatter all over the inside of the microwave.

“Well, it looks like this microwave is now toast,” Pan Goatee astutely observed and decided he better throw it in the garbage bin.

As he picked up the microwave, he knocked over the toaster sending it crashing to the floor and smashing into dozens of pieces.

“Well, it looks like that toaster is toast as well,” Pan Goatee shrewdly observed.

He put both the recently expired microwave with the exploded human head and eyeballs inside and the broken toaster into the City Sanitation Department’s Appliance and Electronics Recycling bin.

He would no doubt receive the papal Apostolic Blessing of Pope Francis for doing so as he was following to a “t” the papal environmental commandments set down in the papal encyclical Laudato Si.

After receiving Pope Francis’ papal Apostolic Blessing from afar, Pan Goatee decided he’d better order takeout pizza 🍕 as now both the microwave and the toaster were gone.

And the regular household oven had gone up in flames 🔥 after his unsuccessful attempt to make himself a pot of brown rice a few nights before.

He had since text messaged and asked a Malaysian friend of his who lived in a small Bavarian village the proper way to cook brown rice.

And as soon as the landlord replaced the oven, he’d try it again.

. . .

Coincidentally at that very moment in his papal apartment in the Vatican, Pope Francis was eating a pizza 🍕.

The pizza 🍕 had been sent to him as a gift from John Podesta.

“How nice of John Podesta to think of me,” Francis smiled.

. . .

The Nazi vampire Franz Kohler had been a member of the Ahnenerbe (the Nazi SS Occult Bureau) during his mortal life.

He had in his possession all the drawings, diagrams and documents of the Nazi built Flying Saucers 🛸 (that operated on propulsion by the Vril force) that were built by the Nazis and then were destroyed when it became apparent that they were going to lose the war.

German engineer Wernher von Braun thought he had all the relevant documents relating to Flying Saucers 🛸 in his possession but he turned out to be wrong much to the disappointment of the architects of the U.S. ‘s Operation Paperclip program.

As such, von Braun had to use and rely on his rocket 🚀 building skills to develop the American NASA Space Program and help put a man on the moon.

Kohler went to neither the Americans nor the Soviets with his plans.

Instead he hid out at a secret base that the Nazis had established in Antarctica 🇦🇶.

Now Kohler (who had since become a far right nationalist German member of the European Parliament) had approached Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman with the plans.

And the Saudi Crown Prince had established plans to build a new Red Sea economic zone specializing in high tech that would border Saudi Arabia 🇸🇦, Egypt 🇪🇬 and Jordan 🇯🇴 as a result.

The new city state of NEOM would build the Nazi Flying Saucers 🛸 for the 21st Century.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 17th
2018.

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Night of The Unknown Light: The Dark Sun Becomes Manifest

March 13, 2016 at 8:34 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Night of The Unknown Light: The Dark Sun Becomes Manifest

The date was January 25th 1938.

It was just a little after 6 PM.

The location was The Berghof the Berchtesgaden chalet home of German Fuhrer Adolf Hitler located in the Bavarian Alps.

Hitler was examining some documents handed to him by a member of the Nazi Occult Bureau the Ahnenerbe.

The Ahnenerbe representative was one Franz Kohler.

“What are these?” Hitler asked.

“They are translations of ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs telling of a myth about the Egyptian sun god Ra that has never been mentioned in most history books,” Kohler explained to the Fuhrer.

“And what is this myth mentioned in the hieroglyphs?” Hitler asked.

“That the Egyptian sun god Ra walked around in the dark of night and was unseen,” Kohler replied.

“That is a curious myth,” Hitler acknowledged, “a sun god walking around at night and not being seen.”

“There is more,” Kohler pointed out, “occasionally every so often Ra could be seen as he walked at night.”

“And when did this strange phenomenon occur?” The Fuhrer inquired.

“When great empires were required to shed massive amounts of blood in appeasement to the gods so that the gods would come and walk the earth again,” Kohler answered.

“Interesting,” Hitler laid aside his copy of National Geographic Magazine where he had been looking at photographs of red spider monkeys prior to Kohler’s arrival, “what crazy people those ancient Egyptians were.”

“Maybe there was something to their ideas, Excellency,” Kohler stated.

“How so?” Hitler helped himself to some iced tea an American drink he found quite quaint.

“Some of our German astronomers have theorized the existence of a dwarf dark sun in our solar system- a sun the size of a planet that is generally unseen to the human eye or our telescopes on earth,” Kohler explained, “but occasionally this dwarf dark sun will make an appearance in the night sky.”

“That is interesting,” Hitler stood up and shook Kohler’s hand, “thank you for sharing this with me.”

Kohler bowed and left the Berghof.

At 6:30 PM, the Fuhrer gazed up at the night sky from the open air balcony of his Berchtesgaden Bavarian Berghof chalet.

Suddenly the night sky was ablaze like an immense moving furnace provoking a very strong blood red glow. The edge of the furnace was white as if the sun was about to come up.

There were immense arches of bright crimson red light with shifting areas of green and blue.

The spectacular vision in the night sky lasted until 9:30 PM.

3 hours in total the Fuhrer viewed the phenomenon.

3 hours of light in the night sky counterbalanced against 3 hours of darkness in the noonday sky on the day of Christ’s Crucifixion.

When the spectacular display ended, Hitler said to his aides,”Now, we shall shed blood.”

Less than 2 months later on March 12th, 1938, Hitler invaded Austria in a forced union and annexation called the Anschluss.

Hitler’s conquest of Europe had begun.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 12th 2016.

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