More Morons and Uglos Beheaded: Pan Goatee Vs. The Aesthically Challenged Hybrids

September 13, 2021 at 10:42 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , )

Pan Goatee: To take arms against a sea of uglos
And by beheading end them.

Pan Goatee entered the drug store only to be confronted by the sight of a fat ugly blimp.

“Hell to Betsy,” Goatee exclaimed, “Davy Crocket and his rifle Old Betsy definitely couldn’t handle you. I haven’t seen uglos for over a week now and now you pieces of grossly grotesque gargoyles decide to come out out of the closet again. Pretty soon, we’ll be subjected to the obnoxious spectacle of Uglo Pride parades and being forced to salute the Uglo Pride flag like we’re currently having to do with the escaped residents of Sodom and Gomorrah.”

Pan Goatee beheaded the ugly looking blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

The only thing that remained was the uglo’s vaccine passport that Pan Goatee cut up as well.

Krampus the demon goat arrived to collect the pieces and take them down to Tartarus.

The drug store clerk for this evening turned out to be the ugly looking blimp’s uglo looking gargoyle daughter.

Goatee cursed the aesthetically challenged eugenics of George Soros and Bill Gates and beheaded the uglo looking gargoyle daughter.

He cut her up into 999 trillion pieces as well.

As if on cue, Krampus again showed up to take the pieces down to Tartarus.

Goatee then walked down to the Dollarama store having left the drug store without purchasing anything due to the offensive spectacle of uglos.

He entered the Dollarama and walked around the aisles.

He was confronted by the spectacle of an ugly looking gargoyle with pink hair.

“What is it with you uglos thinking that by colouring your hair pink or purple, this somehow makes you better looking? It doesn’t,” Goatee beheaded the pink haired gargoyle uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces, “It just makes you look uglo and stupid.”

“And speaking of stupid,” Goatee turned his attention to the pink haired uglo’s moronic looking boyfriend, “I want to see your vaccine passport card.”

The moron reached into his pocket and pulled out his vaccine passport card that had been signed by Citizen Robespierre and Comrade Trotsky.

Goatee then beheaded the moron and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus arrived to pick up the remains of the pink haired uglo and her moronic boyfriend and along with their vaccine passports, he carried them down to Tartarus.

Goatee left the Dollarama store and while walking through the parking lot, he encountered a fat ugly blimp, her moronic looking husband and their uglo-moronic looking son.

Goatee beheaded all three and cut them up into 999 trillion pieces each.

He remarked to Krampus who was on his way to pick up the pieces, “George Soros and Bill Gates should really be charged with crimes against humanity.”

Meanwhile in Washington DC under cross-examination from Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul, Dr. Anthony Fauci denied that the majority of white women in Calgary were quite repulsively ugly.

Yet another Neo-Nuremberg war criminal in our midst.

At the same time the Vatican released a statement denying that Pope Francis was demonically possessed.

What Pope Francis saw through the looking glass at the bottom of the rabbit hole:

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The Vaccinazi and Neo-Bolshevik Communist Pact of 2021

August 30, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was on a secret mission.

He had been hired by renegades against the Deep State in the U.S. government to investigate an alleged plot that started 31 years ago in 1990 when George Soros and Bill Gates had sought to create an Uglo-Race of women by genetically manipulating women in the City of Calgary to look quite repulsively ugly.

Soros and Gates and their geneticists had succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.

They were hoping then to release this Uglo-Race of women upon the world in an effort to reduce the human population since no one would want to make out with such uglos.

Unbeknownst to Soros and Gates however, then Soviet KGB officer Vladimir Putin had, at the same time, designed a plot to create a Non-Master Race of Male Morons who would help bring down the Western world thus allowing Russia to take control.

Putin, after extracting DNA from some Australian who called himself Uncle Ernie, began his genetic manipulation experiments to create a Non-Master Race of Male Morons in Calgary in that same year of 1990.

The result was that the Non-Master Race of Male Morons (created by Putin) made out with the Uglo-Race of Repulsively Ugly Women (created by Soros and Gates) producing more stupid and uglier offspring than ever.

That’s why large groups of mask wearing (but unfortunately no full paper bag over head wearing) uglos and imbeciles cheered on Neo-Bolshevik Communist demagogue Dr. Joe Vipond as he spoke at various Anti-Freedom rallies in downtown Calgary over the summer.

That’s why so many brainless Calgary businesspeople and other bozos were in favour of creating a vaccine passport in the city.

Neo-Bolshevik Communist demagogue Dr. Joe Vipond had invited some of his fellow physicians who were also Neo-Bolshevik Communists to speak to the media today to push for a vaccine passport in the Canadian province of Alberta.

The Neo-Norman Bethune style physicians spoke in a Zoom video conferencing call to members of the brainless mainstream media with Alberta’s leading Neo-Bolshevik Communist demagogue Dr. Joe Vipond naturally occupying the top upper left hand corner of the screen.

Two Neo-Bolshevik Communist Calgary city councillors (both of whom were running for Mayor in this coming October’s municipal election) Councillor Jan Damery and Councillor Jyoti Gondek were both calling for vaccine passports in the City of Calgary.

The forces of Antichrist seemed to be reigning supreme in the city.

It was against this background that Pan Goatee had encountered another Uglo who had pulled up at an air pump at a gas station to pump air into her head (thus showing she was both an Uglo and an airhead).

The woman was a thin ugly stoat.

Pan Goatee had divided Calgary’s uglo female population into 3 categories of uglos: the thin ugly stoat (those women who are thin and ugly), the medium sized ugly gargoyle (those women who are medium sized and ugly) and the fat ugly blimp (those women who are fat and ugly).

As the thin ugly stoat began pumping up her head with the air pump, Goatee beheaded the thin uglo airhead with his astral laser machete.

The thin ugly stoat’s ugly airhead floated up into the sky after being separated from its body where it was promptly shot down by one of Joe Biden’s drones (which, as it turned out, was a long way from Afghanistan).

Goatee then cut up the ugly pumped up airhead and body into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the demon goat then carried the pieces down to Tartarus.

. . .

Pope Francis was having a conversation with the French Ambassador to the Vatican.

“We are legion,” said Francis as his eyes turned fiery red, his head spun around 360 degrees and he vomited forth ripped up copies of the Hail Mary prayer and the Saint Michael Prayer, “We have instructed our servant in Chicago Blaise Cardinal Cupich to give Communion to Methodist non-Catholic Neo-Bolshevik Communist lesbian blowhard Mayors such as Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot. We have also instructed him to bring forth an edict banning the public recitation of the Hail Mary and the Saint Michael Prayer at the end of Mass in the Chicago Archdiocese. Those prayers were interfering with the establishment of the New World Order in that city.”

“What does that have to do with France?” The French Ambassador asked.

“Pazuzu got my day calendar wrong,” Bergoglio looked at his day calendar, “That’s what happens when you’re legion.”

Will Pan Goatee someday visit the Vatican?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 30th

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Schwarzenegger May Soon Become The Exterminated Ex-Terminator

August 12, 2021 at 10:49 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The real Pan Goatee is cool.
The real Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t.

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was once again in his favourite Vietnamese restaurant having a Vietnamese sub.

Suddenly an ugly looking woman walked through the door with her moronic looking husband.

She appeared to be in her mid-50s and yet she had coloured her hair pink, blue and purple.

“What is it with ugly looking women in Calgary colouring their hair blue, pink or purple if not all three?” Pan Goatee asked his friend the philosophical frog Marcus Amphibius who was busy complaining that there were no flies in his Pho soup, “Do they think colouring their hair those colours, it makes look them beautiful? It doesn’t. An ugly looking woman is still ugly no matter what she colours her hair. An ugly looking woman in her 20s who colours her hair blue, pink or purple looks awfully stupid. An ugly looking woman in her mid-50s who does the same looks even more so.”

Goatee went over and beheaded the ugly looking woman in her mid-50s with blue, pink and purple coloured hair and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

He did the same to her moronic husband.

When he had finished his sub, he went for a long walk.

He then encountered an ugly looking redheaded female who was entering a car.

“Well, you certainly put the lie to the notion that all redheads are beautiful and sexy because you sure as Hell aren’t,” Goatee barfed all over her car to emphasize the point.

“She’s definitely not the role model for Mystery Babylon the Mother of Harlots,” Marcus Amphibius agreed, “I gather Mystery Babylon is beautiful and alluring which is why she attacts so many followers.”

Goatee beheaded the ugly looking redhead and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Goatee then walked to a nearby Dollarama store where he encountered an ugly looking blimp and her moronic boyfriend.

The satyr then beheaded both moron and blimp.

He cut both blimp and moron up into 999 trillion pieces each.

“I think you and I and a certain Geopolitical analyst are the only intelligent males in the entire City of Calgary,” Marcus Amphibius remarked as he read a passage from the Summa Theologia of Saint Thomas Aquinas on the Nature of Beauty.

“I think you’re right,” Pan agreed.

Goatee then went to the Pharmacy next door where he encountered a fat ugly blimp who was working as the cashier.

Goatee beheaded the blimp and cut her up into the appropriate number of pieces as he commented, “Is this how they’re trying to get the unvaccinated to take the vaccine now? Having fat ugly blimps work in pharmacies thus making everyone suicidally depressed and thus more inclined to get vaccinated or in the case of the already vaccinated cause them to beg governments to start administering third and maybe even fourth doses?”.

“I wouldn’t put it past Dr. Anthony Fauci and his fellow evil scientists around the globe,” Marcus Amphibius agreed as he read a passage from Saint Augustine’s The City of God on the Nature of Demons.

. . .

“I’m thinking of consecrating the world to the Non-Immaculate Heart of Pachamama,” Pope Francis mentioned to his friend Walter Cardinal Kasper.

“An excellent idea,” Cardinal Kasper agreed.

“I thought so,” Francis sent out invitations to all the world’s bishops to do the same.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Thursday night podcast.

The first news item he read was on how Los Angeles City Council had voted to establish a vaccine passport mandate.

Said Renfield, “The entire city council of Los Angeles should be eliminated from the face of the Earth.”

The second news item was on how Dr. Anthony Fauci finally admitted in an August 10th 2021 MSNBC television interview that individual freedom in the United States of America must be eliminated.

Said Renfield, “Dr. Anthony Fauci must be eliminated from the face of the Earth.”

Renfield then read the third news item he was covering in tonight’s podcast,

“Body building moron and supposed actor Arnold Schwarzenegger who originally hails from Austria (which was also the birthplace of Adolf Hitler) recently told anti-maskers, “Screw your freedom.”

Renfield then looked at the camera and said, “Arnold Schwarzenegger should be eliminated from the face of the Earth.”

Then he added,

“P.S. And when that happens, you won’t be back.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 12th

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Pan Goatee Beheads More Uglos As Renfield Takes Action Against Neo-Bolshevik Communists

August 11, 2021 at 10:53 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking towards one of his favourite Vietnamese restaurants to buy one of their delicious Vietnamese submarine sandwiches.

Suddenly a thin ugly looking white stoat (one of three varieties of ugly looking white women who live in the City of Calgary) came walking down the sidewalk accompanied by her moronic looking son (who no doubt inherited his IQ from his father for marrying such an uglo).

Pan Goatee then beheaded both uglo mother and moronic looking son cutting them up into 999 trillion pieces each.

Goatee then entered the restaurant and ordered the Satay Beef Sub.

He was shortly joined by his new found friend the philosophical frog Marcus Amphibius.

Marcus ate the flies that were trying to land on Pan’s Satay Beef Sub (they too were attracted to the sub’s delicious flavour).

“Attractive looking waitresses who work here,” Marcus noted.

“Very,” Pan agreed, “I noticed from photos and video footage I’ve seen of Vietnam, you don’t see too many ugly looking women over there like you see in many cities in Western Canada.”

“I suspect it’s the influence of Harvard University approved Critical Gender Theory radical feminism here in the so-called Western democracies that’s made so many women quite repulsively ugly,” Marcus Amphibius lit his pipe and started smoking, “Over there in Vietnam, Communism is more of a Ho Chi Minh style Vietnamese nationalism rather than pure Marxism. As the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King pointed out back in the 1960s which is why he wanted the U.S. military to get out of Vietnam.”

“Very true,” Pan agreed, “And Ho Chi Minh’s vampiress granddaughter Ho Babylon Minh is a very beautiful vampiress. No uglo genes in the Minh family.”

“No, the senior Ho had very beautiful women in his harem,” the immortal frog Marcus Amphibius recalled.

Pan Goatee after finishing his sub went for a long walk.

He came upon a small strip mall.

The strip mall had an Atlantic Fish and Chips Restaurant which was notorious for having fat ugly blimps coming in and out of the place.

Sure enough a fat ugly blimp exited the place.

Goatee beheaded the blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

None of the black flies flying around bothered to attack the package of Fish and Chips lying on the ground.

They weren’t as good as Vietnamese submarine sandwiches.

. . .

Disgraced former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was having a dream where he was tied up in a water filled dungeon.

Leeches surrounded him and began sucking his blood.

Dr. Anthony Fauci came by rowing on a raft.

“You really should be wearing a face mask a la CDC’s most recent recommendations,” Dr. Fauci put 666 face masks on Cuomo’s face and continued rowing.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Wednesday night podcast.

He covered the matter of Andrew Cuomo’s resignation.

Said Renfield,

“New York’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Neo-Stalinist Gov. and Apostle of The Antichrist Andrew Cuomo has resigned as Governor of New York amidst sexual harassment allegations.
The jackass who was awarded an Emmy (when it should have been an enema) last year by the brainless mainstream media for his performance during the 2020 Covid pandemic (which was quite literally a performance as he went from “Ventilators! We need more ventilators!” to “We’ve got so many ventilators now, they’re coming out of our ass!”) leaves his office in deserved disgrace.
One Neo-Bolshevik Communist and Apostle of the Antichrist down.
We’ve got several more thousands to go around the globe.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster (who was called Saint Michelangelo the Underwater Revelator by the citizens of Australia) was listening to Renfield’s podcast on his waterproof laptop.

He heard Renfield say, “The Neo-Bolshevik Communist newspaper The Toronto Star is calling on Canada’s Justin Trudeau government to implement a national vaccine passport system.”

Michelangelo then had a vision of Renfield riding a black motorcycle and wearing a black leather jacket with a machine gun on his back driving into the newsroom of The Toronto Star.

He opened fire letting all the Neo-Bolshevik Communist editors and reporters have it as a group of mini skirted beauties behind Renfield sang the Steppenwolf song Born To Be Wild.

Renfield continued, “And in further news from Canada, the supposedly free enterprise Calgary Chamber of Commerce seems to be made up entirely of Neo-Bolshevik Communist Neo-Stalinists and Gates of Hitler Vaccinazis as the assholes, airheads and bozos in that chamber have called for the Alberta government to implement a provincial vaccine passport system.”

Michelangelo then had a vision of Renfield riding a black motorcycle and wearing a black leather jacket with a machine gun on his back driving into the meeting room of the Calgary Chamber of Commerce and opening fire on all the Neo-Bolshevik Communist Neo-Stalinist and Gates of Hitler Vaccinazi businesspeople.

Tina Turner wearing a tight skirted mini dress emblazoned with Renfield’s picture on it then came out and sang to Renfield,

“You’re simply the best
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone
Anyone I ever met

I’m stuck on your heart
I hang on every word you say…. ”

Tina Turner: Would one day sing for Renfield according to Michelangelo’s vision

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 11th

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Pan Goatee Beheads A Moron and Two Repulsively Fat Ugly Blimps

August 10, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Aesthetics) (, , )

Due to the high number of repulsive fat ugly blimps that heartless globalists George Soros and Bill Gates keep genetically creating in the City of Calgary, genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee is once again forced to make an appearance in tonight’s vampire novel chapter.

Pan Goatee had once again returned to the pharmacy he was forced to exit last night after encountering a fat ugly blimp he had beheaded and dismembered.

There was no fat ugly blimp in the store tonight.

However there was a moronic jackass who had started a long line up at the cash register as he argued with the store manager about wanting to return a carton of cigarettes he had been overcharged for and wanted to get his full money back.

He did have his receipt with him and he had in fact been overcharged for the carton of cigarettes.

But the trouble was the moronic jackass had smoked two packs of cigarettes from the carton and therefore the manager said he could not get his full money back.

This sent the moronic jackass’s panties into a knot and he threw a temper tantrum demanding his full money back.

As the store line-up continued to grow and the manager tried to calmly explain to the moronic jackass the reasons for his decision, the moronic jackass continued to throw his temper tantrum.

Like the lovestruck lover who never revealed his feelings until it was too late and he was reduced to confessing his love on cardboard flash cards on Christmas Eve in the movie Love Actually, Goatee finally said “Enough!”.

He went up to the moronic jackass and said, “Don’t you know that cigarette smoking can be hazardous to your health?” as he lopped off the moron’s head.

“There have even been many cases of a cigarette smoking habit leading to a person’s death,” Goatee proceeded to cut the moron up into 999 trillion pieces.

“You don’t say,” the emperor-philosopher frog Marcus Amphibius quipped as he licked a black fly house and garden bug killer ice cream cone.

That night Health Canada ordered that a new warning label be put on all cigarette packages and cartons sold in Canada:

Warning: Health Canada has determined that returning the cigarette carton to the store where you bought it could result in possible beheading by Pan Goatee.

Meanwhile Pan Goatee headed home.

As he was standing at an intersection, a fat female cyclist rode by.

He beheaded her and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

The owner of the bike (from whom the fat ugly blimp had stolen the bicycle) returned the bike and its incredibly flattened tires back to the bike store from which he had bought it hoping to get his money back.

Panty Goatee (Pan Goatee’s younger sister) happened to be in town and was trying to arrange a bike rental for herself.

However the line was held up by the owner of the bike.

Panty Goatee beheaded the man and cut him up into 666 trillion pieces (she wasn’t quite as numerically obsessed as her older brother).

Meanwhile Goatee was returning to the drug store because he had forgotten his monogramed handkerchief (having left it on one of the shelves).

While walking back to the pharmacy, he encountered another fat ugly blimp waddling along the sidewalk looking incredibly ugly and incredibly stupid (she was even more fat and repulsively ugly than the one he had slain inside the drug store last night).

“Jesus Motherfucking H. Christ!” Goatee quoted the great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg, “You are the fattest ugliest blimp of them all.”

“We have to agree,” the ghosts of Brutus, Cassius, Julius Caesar and Mark Antony said in unison as they barfed ectoplasmic vomit all over the place.

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and then kicked the fat ugly blimp’s head clear across the Rocky Mountains and clear across the Pacific Ocean where it binged Communist China’s tyrannical leader Xi Jinping in the face in Beijing.

“Jesus Motherfucking H. Christ!” Xi said in Mandarin Chinese as he was hit by the ugliest missile in all recorded history.

Goatee then cut up the fat ugly blimp’s corpulent corpse into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion times.. an infinite number of 999 trillion times.

“To infinity and beyond,” the philosophical emperor frog Marcus Amphibius quoted noted astronaut Buzz Lightyear as he ate a candied apple.

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Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Musical Tribute To Pan Goatee

August 9, 2021 at 10:23 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Pan Goatee The world’s most popular and beloved serial killer:
Now the subject of a song

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking down a back alley way when a fat ugly blimp crossed his path.

“Jesus Christ!” Goatee shouted.

This caused a raven pecking out the eyes of a dog (of the four-legged variety) in the alley way to pause.

He wasn’t used to Goatee invoking the Nazarene’s name.

Only the names of various Greco-Roman Olympian and Titan deities.

“Don’t you know back alley ways are meant for the likes of drug dealers, pimps and hookers? Not for the likes of fat ugly blimps like yoursef?” Goatee commented as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

“Maybe fat ugly blimps have now become hookers,” a talking frog by the name of Marcus Amphibius remarked as he sat in a bird bath in the alley way.

“If fat ugly blimps have become hookers, this is definitely the end of civilization,” Goatee noted.

“Agreed,” Marcus Amphibius retreated into a hole in the ground.

Several hours later Goatee was crossing a traffic intersection when he encountered a fat ugly blimp carrying 4 double double coffees.

“No doubt those 4 double double coffees are meant for yourself,” Goatee deduced in Sherlockian fashion as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Goatee continued walking towards a drug store.

He entered the drug store where he encountered the fattest ugliest blimp of them all.

“Jesus Christ Almighty!” Goatee shouted.

Once again invoking the Nazarene’s name caused the ghost of Friedrich Nietzsche to gasp this time.

He was used to the satyr invoking the name of Dionysus not Christ.

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and kicked her fat ugly head clear across the Rocky Mountains and into the raging wildfires of the province of British Columbia where it went up like the world’s biggest and ugliest marshmallow.

He then cut her up into 999 trillion times 999 trillion pieces just to show his sheer and utter disgust with this abomination of aesthetic desolation.

. . .

As France’s vaccine passport system came into effect, French President Emmanuel Macron sat on top of the Eiffel Tower and drank a bottle of Vichy Water as he talked to the ghosts of Marshal Philippe Petain and Adolf Hitler.

. . .

After finding out from London private eyes Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie that the world’s most famous serial killer Pan Goatee was indeed the very same satyr he had created and who had escaped from his large test tube after the Set Enterprises transport lorry that was carrying it and him had crashed with another lorry in a major traffic accident in northern England, scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher decided to write a song about his beloved creation and his world famous exploits.

Grabbing his Hawaiian ukulele, Dr. Cadbury Rocher sang his tribute song Do You Know The Way To Pan Goatee? (To the tune of Do You Know The Way To San Jose?):

“Do you know the way to Pan Goatee?
I’ve got a wonderful friend in Pan Goatee

Calgary is a great big ug-way
Turns guys from straight to gay
And all the ugs that ever were
Waddle its streets and give you gas…”

Both Hillary Rodham Clinton and Nancy Pelosi were not pleased with the song when they first heard it on the radio.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Chrstopher
Monday August 9th

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