The 200th Anniversary of Napoleon’s Death
It was 200 years ago today that Napoleon Bonaparte (Napoleon I Emperor of the French) died on the island of Saint Helena.
French President Emmanuel Macron marked the bicentary of Napoleon’s death by laying a wreath at Napoleon’s tomb at Les Invalides in Paris.
Macron in an address to the French nation said, “Napoleon is a part of us.”
“That’s very true,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield commented as he watched the address on television.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” His friend Amadeus Emanon asked.
“That is the 200 million franc Napoleonic gold coin question,” Renfield answered.
The Kraken who called himself Napoleon VI and was the leader of the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party laid a wreath at the original Napoleon’s tomb accompanied by his wife Medusa the ex-Gorgon.
In the Underworld of Hades, the Greek deity Hades had received a request to grant Napoleon Bonaparte a temporary dispensational release from the realm of Hades to mark the 200th anniversary of his death.
“Are you going to do that?” One of Cerberus’ three heads asked.
“I’m mulling it over,” Hades replied as he sipped some mulled wine.
In the Elysian Fields where Napoleon was residing (he had spent some time in Purgatory but was still not eligible to enter the Paradise of the Blessed or the Heaven of the Saints so he now lived in the Elysian Fields where the heroes of pagan antiquity resided) the Emperor was walking through some of the Elysian gardens when he came across this vision,
“Oh, My God,” Napoleon cried out.
“Oh, the void, the void,” Charles Darwin cried from far far away on his rotating barbeque spit over an open flame down in Tartarus.
The woman turned and gazed in his direction, “You look like the Emperor Napoleon.”
“That’s because I am the Emperor Napoleon,” Napoleon said.
“My name is Charlotte,” said the woman, “And I apparently died on the same day you did. May 5th 1821. Although I was 30 years younger than you.”
“You sound English,’ said Napoleon.
“That’s because I am an Englishwoman,” Charlotte answered.
“I never did have good relations with the English,” Napoleon sighed.
“Maybe you should change that,” Charlotte smiled.
Meanwhile the 3-headed dog Cerberus was walking towards the Elysian Gardens.
One of Cerberus’ heads was carrying a temporary dispensational release from Hades for Napoleon.
Another of Cerberus’ heads was carrying a temporary dispensational release from Hades for Charlotte.
And the third of Cerberus’ heads was singing the song, “In an English country garden…”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 5th
2021.
Kraken’s Croissant Cravings
“French President Emmanuel Macron has tested positive for Covid-19.
Coincidentally enough a number of cougars at the Paris Zoo have also tested positive for Covid-19.”
-British MP Renfield R. Renfield reading a news story on radio.
As the Fascist Freemasonic French President Emmanuel Macron was busy self-isolating along with quite a number of cougars who were also self-isolating, French Aquarian Age Bonapartist leader The Kraken Napololeon VI was walking the streets of Paris along with his wife Medusa the ex-Gorgon.
The Kraken, who was sipping 8 cups of cognac-laced coffee at the same time, asked his wife, “Where is everybody?”.
“Under lockdown,” Medusa answered as she curled her hair with her wireless electric blow dryer and hair curler.
“Bummer,” the Kraken walked past a couple of gay Jesuit priests who suddenly found themselves frozen to a park bench captured in the activity they were engaging in, “I wonder if there’s any place that’s open. I’ve got a craving for hot buttered croissants.”
As the Kraken craved croissants, Macron missed his cougars in the French Presidential Palace.
And in a Paris hotel room, the Norse valkyrie Kara awaited the arrival of vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday December 18th
2020.
French Islamism, Justin Trudeau and The Great Reset
The Kraken Napoleon VI who was the leader of the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party was reading about the “republican values” ultimatum that French President Emmanuel Macron had recently delivered to French Muslim leaders.
Ever since the beheading of French schoolteacher Samuel Paty this past October 16th (for having dared to show his students pictures of the Prophet Mohammed in a class discussion he was having on free speech), Macron had been seeking to crack down on militant Islam in France (a controversial thing to do since France has Western Europe’s largest Muslim population).
In a rare move for a liberal secularist leader, Macron wasn’t acting like a pansy when it came to standing up to radical militant Islam.
A sure contrast with the limpwristedness on the topic shown by the Communist compulsive/obsessive memorizer of John Lennon Imagine lyrics in the Vatican “Pope” Francis.
This past Wednesday November 18th, Macron had given the French Council of the Muslim Faith (CFCM) 15 days to work with the French Interior Ministry.
The CFCM had agreed to create a National Council of Imams which will issue imams with official accreditation which could be withdrawn.
Radical Islamist imams could therefore find their accreditation withdrawn by the Council.
French Interior Minister Gerald Darmanin had said, “We must save our children from the clutches of the Islamists.”
The new draft law to curtail radical Islam in France would be discussed by the cabinet on December 9th.
While liberal Muslim imams would probably go along with the bill, radical Islamist militant imams would probably not.
There was a retired Calgary police detective (who when he worked as a young constable on the Metropolitan London Police Force in Britain back in the early 1960s had arrested a young woman named Christine Keeler for soliciting. The same Christine Keeler who would go on to be implicated in the John Profumo Scandal which would lead to that Secretary of State For War’s resignation from the cabinet of Harold MacMllan’s Conservative government in the UK at that time) who had told a recently arrived geopolitical analyst from Vancouver back in 2016 that he believed a civil war in France would break out between radical Muslims and non-Muslims sometime in the early 2020s and that civil war would spread to Britain and the rest of Western Europe.
The Kraken reflected that it may well be this Macron-Darmanin ultimatum that sets the whole thing off.
Radical Muslims in the Muslim world were already becoming increasingly anti-French as a result of Macron’s words and actions.
Particularly those radical Muslims in Pakistan who became so volatilely hyper and uber-excited about everything that a sensible person could easily be led to believe that they were a bunch of nutcases and raving lunatics (which in all probability they most likely are).
. . .
Canada’s asinine Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had this week just said that discussion of The Great Reset was a “conspiracy theory”.
Even though Justin Trudeau at a virtual UN on-line conference this past September had said the pandemic had “provided opportunity for a reset”.
Even though the World Economic Forum this past month had held a meeting in which its chairman Klaus Schwab had called for a Great Reset.
Hell, Klaus Schwab had even co-wrote a book with Thierry Malleret called Covid-19 and the Great Reset.
TIME Magazine had even done a cover story earlier this month called The Great Reset.
Even the Communist Pope Francis was in the 2nd day of a 3-day conference at the Vatican discussing the Economy of Francesco in which the Great Reset was front and center.
However Justin suffered from the delusion that people would actually believe what he had to say on the subject.
As he emerged from the door of his Ottawa residence to face the press and the cameras and make yet another idiotic statement to Canadians, he was suddenly hit in the face with a cream pie.
“Shit,” Justin Trudeau sputtered through gabs and gobs of cream pie filling, “This is the 2nd or 3rd time in the past year that an invisible entity has come forward and thrown a cream pie in my face.”
“Sounds like a conspiracy theory to me,” remarked a reporter for Rebel News Canada.
. . .
The Greek god Zeus had recently ordered the release of the Kraken (his own personal Kraken not the French politician the Kraken Napoleon VI who headed the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party) in order to destroy the world and prevent the Great Reset.
Judging how repulsively ugly and creepy looking the “woke” women of America look who support the Great Reset, Zeus figured that it would be better to end the world now rather than be presented with a world that would surely kill his massive sexual appetite.
The Syro-Phoenician goddess Atargatis approves of Zeus’ decision to release the Kraken.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 20th
2020.
Renfield’s Reflections On Armenia-Azerbaijan Conflict
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was returning home to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London estate from Parliament.
He had to step over the bodies of an elite Turkish commando unit belonging to Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.
The commandos had been sent to Set’s estate to kidnap Renfield.
There they had the misfortune to run into the Set estate’s fierce guard cat Nefertiti Galore who promptly tore them to shreds.
Once inside the house, Renfield got on his computer and got into a Skype conversation with his friend Amadeus Emanon who was currently residing in Australia.
Their topic of conversation was the Armenia-Azerbaijan Conflict over the territory of Nagorno-Karabakh (the territory was called Artsakh by the Armenians).
“Peace in the region has been reigning somewhat since the 1994 ceasefire between Armenia and Azerbaijan,” Renfield explained, “but this past summer, Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey has been busy shooting his mouth off and giving vocal encouragement to Azerbaijan to take back the Nagorno-Karabakh territory by force offering Turkish military assistance if necessary.”
“Nagorno-Karabakh once belonged to Azerbaijan?” Amadeus asked.
“It originally belonged to Armenia but Soviet dictator Josef Stalin with his usual penchant for doing harm and rearranging territory and peoples in the old USSR on his own personal whims took Nagorno-Karabakh away from the Soviet republic of Armenia and gave it to the Soviet republic of Azerbaijan even though the majority of the territory’s citizens were ethnic Armenian. After Stalin kicked the bucket, the territory later became an autonomous region within Azerbaijan. When the USSR started falling to pieces and Gorbachev like the king in the old Humpty Dumpty rhyme couldn’t put it together again, Armenia and Azerbaijan fought a war for control of the region. A ceasefire was established in 1994 and Nagorno-Karabakh became a self-governing entity run under the control of the territory’s Armenian population,” Renfield noted.
Meanwhile in Paris France, French President Emmanuel Macron was likewise becoming concerned at Erdogan’s words and actions in the Armenia-Azerbaijan conflict.
Spurred on by Renfield’s comments in the British House of Commons yesterday as well as remarks made by Renfield’s French political ally the Kraken Napoleon VI (who was the leader of the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party as well as the husband of the ex-Gorgon Medusa) in the French National Assembly, Macron was taking a stand.
Today Macron said that he was “extremely concerned by the warlike messages” coming from Turkey.
Adding to Macron’s concerns was a report from the Syrian Observatory For Human Rights that about 320 Syrian mercenaries (who were fighting for an anti-Assad faction backed by the Neo-Ottoman Erdogan) had been transported to Azerbaijan by pro-Erdogan Turkish security companies.
Also today Macron warned Turkey about “warlike comments which essentially remove any inhibitions from Azerbaijan in what would be a reconquest of Nagorno-Karabakh. That we will not accept.”
Macron also promised greater support for Armenia in the coming days, “I say to Armenia and the Armenians, France will play its role.”
Amadeus asked Renfield, “What do you think might happen?”.
“Well,” Renfield ate his slice of Baked Alaska cake, “About half-way through the summer, I started to wonder if the final icing on the cake for this peculiar year that is 2020 wouldn’t be the outbreak of World War III. No one saw a virus coming from China that would turn the lives upside down of everyone on the planet. Inspector Clouseau of Pink Panther movie fame once said that his mother was strangled by an Armenian phrenologist. So likewise no one thought at the start of this year that Clouseau’s mother’s revenge through a cross-dressing salesman of Turkish Delight candies residing in the Turkish Presidential Palace in Istanbul would result in World War III.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 30th
2020.
Notre Dame In Paris To Be Restored With Original Gothic Style Spire
The spire of Notre Dame Cathedral which was destroyed in a fire in April of 2019 will be restored according to the original Gothic design French President Emmanuel Macron announced a couple of days ago.
Macron had originally said after the fire that he was in favour of a “contemporary gesture”.
However the French President wanted the restoration to be completed by 2024 when Paris is hosting the Olympics for that year (assuming of course that most of humanity hasn’t died off from the Covid-19 virus or died off from massive carbon dioxide poisoning after having worn face masks 24 hours a day in the last idiotic decree of the WHO and numerous politicians around the world).
The process of designing a contemporary modern spire with an international competition for architects of no doubt exceedingly bad taste would have caused unnecessary delays.
France’s National Heritage and Architecture Commission thus recommended going with a spire in the original Gothic design.
The Cathedral’s first spire was built in the 13th Century but due to extensive damage it had to be removed in the late 18th Century.
Its replacement, designed in the Gothic style by architect Eugene Violett-le-Duc, was built in the mid-19th Century.
Jean-Louis Georgelin (the French Army General put in charge of the reconstruction effort) wanted a modern or maybe even a post-modern alternative to replace Violett-le-Duc’s Gothic design.
Architects from around the world submitted designs including one design with a rooftop pool and another with a giant park and greenhouse on the roof.
Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie had even submitted an architectural design that showed a giant male phallus surrounded by pancakes.
It was mercifully lost in the mail.
The cathedral’s chief architect Philippe Villeneuve consistently spoke out in favour of a faithful restoration of the previous 19th Century Gothic style design.
This upset Gen. Georgelin and in a heated exchange at a meeting of the French National Assembly’s Cultural Affairs Committee last November, the General told Monsieur Villeneuve to shut his mouth.
Seconds later, Gen. Georgelin had a Devonshire Cheese cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity.
Although a few Harvey Wallbanger imbibing members of the committee swore it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who did the deed.
Esmeralda and her pet goat Djali look on in horror at some of the proposed designs for Notre Dame’s spire.
-A vampire novel written by Christopher
Saturday July 11th 2020.
The Vampiress Isis, Pope Francis and Emmanuel Macron
The Egyptian Vampiress Isis, Pope Francis and Emmanuel Macron
The Egyptian vampiress Isis walked down the garden steps of the royal palace at Versailles:
She had first seen Versailles back in 1799 when she came to France from Egypt with Napoleon Bonaparte.
Both Napoleon I and later Napoleon III the vampiress Isis had acted as a strong supporter of and an influential advisor to.
Now after having visited the royal palace at Versailles, she would be driven by limousine to Napoleon’s tomb in Paris where she would stop and say a prayer to her grandfather the Egyptian sun god Ra.
Then she would head to the French Presidential Palace there to meet with Emmanuel Macron the President of France 🇫🇷.
While visiting President Macron, they would hold a teleconferencing call with Pope Francis in Rome.
. . .
Pope Francis had been seeing a lot of demons around the Vatican the past month.
He finally got so sick of seeing them, he finally broke down and asked one directly, “Why are you wretched demons hanging around the Vatican these days?”.
“Where else can we go?” The demon shrugged, “You yourself have said that there is no Hell.”
Francis went away harrumphing like Major Hoople in that old newspaper cartoon and comic strip Our Boarding House.
He looked at the date on the calendar – May 4th 2018.
He was supposed to do something today but he couldn’t remember what it was.
He knew what he was planning to do tomorrow- May 5th 2018.
He had thought of canonizing Karl Marx as a birthday present for the latter’s 200th birthday tomorrow and declaring him a member of the Catholic Communion of Saints but he had been strongly advised against it by most of his cardinal advisers.
What was it he was supposed to do today?
He grabbed a pitchfork and stuck it up the rear end of some tiny elf sized little demon who got in his way.
Then he remembered.
He was supposed to be having a teleconferencing call with French President Emmanuel Macron and the Egyptian vampiress Isis who would be calling him from Paris.
Pope Francis went to his room and waited by the speaker phone on his desk.
The phone rang.
Francis picked it up.
Sure enough it was President Macron and the Egyptian vampiress Isis.
After an exchange of pleasantries, they got down to business.
“Holy Father,” Isis asked, “what do you think of the idea of using a recently discovered ancient manuscript on magic written by King Solomon to invoke ancient jinn to rebuild the original Temple of Solomon on Mount Moriah?”.
Pope Francis spat out a mouthful from his glass of Mogen David wine.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 4th
2018.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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