Weird California Duo Calls For Saintly Canonization of Charles Manson

September 18, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Actress Sharon Tate appears in an episode of The Beverley Hillbillies.

Sadly Miss Tate was one of 7 people to die in the murderous rampage carried out by brainwashed followers of homicidal hippy commune leader Charles Manson in California during the summer of ’69.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was reading a waterproof library book on Sharon Tate and the Charles Manson Helter Skelter murders.

He then turned out the light and went to bed.

He then had a dream (or was it a vision?) of a weird California duo calling upon Pope Francis’ Vatican to canonize Charles Manson a saint.

The weird California duo was none other than California Gov. Gavin Newsom and his aunt-in-law Nancy Pelosi.

Said Gov. Newsom at a press conference, “I call upon Pope Francis and his Vatican to canonize Charles Manson a Saint.”

“Amen, hallelujah, nephew!” Shouted Nancy Pelosi.

Reporters of the mainstream media vigourously applauded Gov. Newsom after he made his announcement.

A reporter from Rebel News Canada however asked the question, “Why do you think Charles Manson should be canonized?”.

Members of the mainstream media and Gov. Newsom and Nancy Pelosi turned and scowled at the reporter from Rebel News Canada.

“Well as you know,” Gov. Newsom snarled, “According to the greatest oracle of our time Bill Gates, the world’s biggest problem is that there are too many people living on our planet. And Charles Manson killed people. Thus he was doing a tremendous favour for Mother Earth aka Gaia aka Pachamama.”

“Amen, hallelujah, nephew!” Nancy Pelosi exclaimed.

“Earlier this evening, I signed an Executive Order granting Charles Manson a posthumous pardon for what in those unenlightened times were considered crimes,” Newsom grinned while members of the mainstream media applauded and shouted with glee.

“Amen, hallelujah, nephew,” Nancy Pelosi batted her purple coloured eyelashes

“I have also asked the California State Legislature to pass a bill issuing a formal apology to Charles Manson for all those years the State of California so wrongly kept him behind bars,” Newsom went on.

“Amen, hallelujah, nephew,” Nancy Pelosi smiled oblivious to the fact that her wig was coming off.

Pelosi herself approached the podium, “I am going to introduce a resolution in the House of Representatives calling upon both Houses of Congress to call upon President Biden to sign an Executive Order calling upon Pope Francis and the Vatican to immediately canonize Charles Manson a Saint.”

“Amen, hallelujah, Aunt,” Gov. Gavin Newsom ejaculated behind her.

Nancy Pelosi wiped the back of her skirt.

They then smiled and waved at the cheering assembly of reporters.

Michelangelo’s dream (or was it a vision?) continued.

He was on a plane with an assemblage of reporters covering Pope Francis on one of his many plane trips.

Of course aboard a plane in front of reporters was where Pope Francis usually issued his stupidest statements.

Michelangelo wondered what the purpose of this particular plane trip was.

He read the statement from the Pope’s private secretary.

The plane was flying to the North Pole so Pope Francis could tell that jolly old elf Santa Claus and all his reindeer and toy making little elves to get on board and sign on the dotted line to sign up for the Astana Kazakhstan 7th InterFaith Congress Plan For A Global One World Religion.

So far the reporters aboard the plane had not yet read the private secretary’s statement as they were all sloshed out of their minds.

However the Cardinal accompanying the Pope on this trip had just read the travel statement written up by the Pope’s private secretary.

He grabbed the pontiff and hauled him into the washroom where he gently broke the news to Francis that there was no such thing as Santa Claus.

The Pope could be heard blubbering aloud and sobbing for the next 80 minutes.

The Cardinal told the media that the plane would be turning around and heading back to Rome.

Francis then told the press that he was now open to questions.

CNN’s Don Lemon asked Francis, “What do you think of California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s call that Charles Manson should be immediately canonized?”.

“I think this is an excellent idea,” Francis grinned, “Charles Manson was a great man. He was all about free love and drugs and rock and roll. In this he reflected the values of the Aquarian Age. And according to former Dominican priest and current Episcopalian priest Matthew Fox and his witch medium Miriam Starhawk the Age of Aquarius officially began on December 21st 2020 just as the Coronavirus vaccines were about to roll out. And we need a Saint for this new Aquarian Age heralding the end of the Age of Pisces. Who better than Charles Manson?”.

“A follow up question,” said Lemon, “When will you canonize Charles Manson?”.

“Well I don’t think we need reports of a miracle performed in his name to get him canonized,” the Pope went on, “Requiring a miracle or miracles is so pre-Vatican II. We need to get up to date. I think I’ll canonize him tomorrow. I’ll declare him a Servant of God at 6:00 AM. Then I’ll declare him venerable (worthy of veneration) at 9:00 AM. Then I’ll beatify him (declare him blessed) at 12 Noon. Then I’ll canonize him (declare him a Saint) at 3:00 PM.”

“3:00 PM?” A reporter from Rebel News Canada piped up, “Wasn’t that the hour Christ died upon the Cross?”.

“I don’t know,” Francis shrugged, “Was it?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday September 18th
2022.

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Bergoglio’s Vatican: Seat For The Coming Antichrist?

November 9, 2021 at 10:32 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

In a directive issued this past October 7th that went unreported by the mainstream media, Pope Francis’ Diocese of Rome forbade the celebration of the Roman Liturgy for Easter next Easter.

It also forbade the celebration of Roman liturgies for the Easter Triduum (Holy Thursday service, Good Friday service and Holy Saturday evening vigil) during Holy Week next year.

Commented Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds, “Bergoglio doesn’t want any commemoration of the Passion, Death, Burial and Resurrection of Jesus Christ.”

Meanwhile over in California, its Neo-Stalinist tyrant governor Gavin Newsom may be requiring a miracle of his own.

He hadn’t been seen in public since this past October 27th when he got his third booster shot.

He made a brief statement given today and as he spoke, his hands shook indicating he may be suffering from Bell’s Palsy.

The demons Baal and Baphomet watched the statement.

Baphomet (who was busy sodomizing Biden’s token fruit Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg in the butt causing him to make outrageously stupid statements such as “America’s highways are inherently racist”) asked the demon Baal (who was demonic entity advisor on the boards of both Pfizer and Moderna), “Why didn’t Newsom take a saline solution for his jabs like Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden and Dr. Anthony Fauci did?”.

“Beats me,” Baal shrugged.

And in other news, it was announced that the Vatican and the cuckoo loving nation of Switzerland had signed a joint declaration calling for the worldwide abolition of the Death Penalty.

Renfield mentioned the news item on his podcast- a podcast he began by calling for the public execution by firing squad of Australia’s Victoria state dictator Dan Andrews and his Gestapoesque Chief Commissioner of Police Shane Patton.

Renfield then went on to discuss the Swiss-Vatican Accord on the Death Penalty.

“This accord is as full of holes as a piece of Swiss cheese or a Jesuit bishop’s fantasy dream of what he sees sticking up and waiting for him in a gay bath house…” Renfield began.

As he spoke, a photo of Pope Francis and a Swiss looking gentleman wearing t-shirts was shown on the screen behind him.

The t-shirts that both Bergoglio and the Swiss looking gentleman were wearing said the same thing, IF OUR IDIOTIC POLICIES HAD BEEN ADOPTED 2000 YEARS AGO, JESUS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DIE FOR OUR SINS IN 33 AD.

Meanwhile Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was reading a news story about how badly Joe Biden had pooped his pants in the presence of the Pope.

He had not only pooped his pants but had pooped all over the Vatican floor.

Michelangelo then watched some Lionel Richie music videos from the 1980s and then he went to bed.

He had a horrifying dream of Joe Biden dancing on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel singing his own paraphrased version of Lionel Richie’s Dancing On The Ceiling and with his back brown stained pants and underpants down was pooping all over Michelangelo’s priceless Renaissance masterpiece paintings.

Sang, danced and pooped Biden, “Oh, what a feeling when I’m dancing on the ceiling…”

And Biden’s poop fell and splattered all over the Michelangelo masterpiece of God creating Adam.

It was the end of the world as we knew it and it wasn’t even the Last Judgment yet.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 9th
2021

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Pope Francis Approves The Communist Bishop of Wuhan Plus A Human Sacrifice Practicing Aztec Priest Endorses California Gov. Gavin Newsom

September 8, 2021 at 10:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Church of England’s leading exorcist was giving a guest editorial on The Set News Network’s Religious Affairs Perspective Program There Are More Things In Heaven and Earth.

Said Father Saint Edmunds, “The Vatican has given its approval to consecrate a new bishop to the Diocese of Wuhan- a well-known regional Chinese Communist Party leader- the so-called “Father” Francis Joseph Cui Qingqi. He is to be consecrated bishop at Wuhan’s Cathedral of Saint Joseph today September 8th the Feast of the Nativity of Mary.

The CCP having released a physical virus on the world now seeks to release a spiritual virus on the world.

This is what happens when an Argentine Freemason and Communist lands on the Throne of Peter.”

Up next with a guest editorial on the program was an Aztec High Priest to the god Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of sorcery and the night sky.

The human sacrifice performing Aztec High Priest urged Californians to say no to the recall of California Gov. Gavin Newsom pointing out that Gov. Newsom’s programs were most in line with all the dark and sinister deities of the world’s divine pantheons.

A Set News Network anchorman appeared with the latest news bulletin, “The latest idiotic statement from Joe Biden is that all electricity must have zero carbon emissions by 2020. Has anybody told Joe Biden what year this is?”.

Meanwhile on an ancient hilltop somewhere in the Americas, an archaeologist and his assistant were asleep in their tent.

“What was it that shaman told us the other day?” The archaeologist’s assistant asked his boss.

“That the sun would rise in the middle of the night,” the archaeologist rolled over.

“It appears the sun is doing just that now and who’s that beautiful woman in white walking amongst the ruins?” The assistant pointed.

A lone woman walked amongst the ruins.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 8th
2021.

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