Just Another Maundy Thursday?

April 13, 2017 at 4:31 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon was in the Set Enterprises lab with Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster.

Amadeus was checking the computer that kept track of all Michelangelo’s psychic predictions for the past 30 days just in case the manual scribe who wrote down all of Michelangelo’s psychic predictions as they happen just happen to miss one.

The manual scribe that wrote down Michelangelo’s predictions was the cyborg robotic operated missing right hand of the Venus de Milo. The missing right arm was discovered by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s personal archaeologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury on November 28th 1960 at a remote location on the island of Greenland which is quite the distance from the Greek island of Milos where the original famous armless statue of the Greek goddess Aphrodite (now in the Louvre) was first discovered back on April 8th 1820. Dr. Cadbury Rocher (in violation of the laws regarding internationally important antiquities) drilled a hole inside the marble arm and inserted an electronic wire that operated on a wi-fi system and caused the arm to move and write on a piece of paper whenever Michelangelo had a psychic revelation out of the blue when no one was present.

Usually this was Renfield’s job to take down what the missing right arm of the Venus de Milo might have missed but Renfield R. Renfield was currently in Venezuela in the planning stages of a coup to overthrow the government of Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro.

Amadeus was checking a prediction that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had made back on April 1st of this year.

The prediction said, “World War III would break out on Good Friday 2017.”

Good Friday 2017?

That was tomorrow.

Amadeus looked at the calendar.

Amadeus wondered.

Was this prediction genuine or accurate?

Or was it an April Fool’s joke?

In the background, the song Only Time sung by the Irish singer Enya played on the radio.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was sampling the best of British Columbia grass (as opposed to the California grass that the Beatles had once sang about) and checking his email as he smoked it.

He noticed he got an email from Gali-Gula the ET gray from the planet Nibiru (whose ET gray body was inhabited by the ghost of the ancient Roman Emperor Caligula).

The email read,

“Hello Justy old boy,

How’s it going? You’ll be delighted to hear that I’m one of 12 individuals selected to get his feet washed by Pope Francis at tonight’s Maundy Thursday papal washing of the feet ceremony.

I wound up in a Rome jail because I parked my spaceship in a No Parking zone outside the Colosseum and I tried to bribe the corrupt City of Rome policeman out of a ticket with Italian lira forgetting that the current currency of Italy is now the Euro.

Anyways look for me getting my feet washed by the Pope on the news tonight. I’ll be the one who’s rather short, gray in colour and not wearing any clothes.

Affectionately yours,

Your far out Extraterrestrial friend,

. . .

The NATO General Wolfgang Vulkan (who was the Norse god Odin (aka the old German god Wotan) in disguise) stood in the middle of Maidan Square in Kiev.

He noticed Russian Spetsnaz special forces dropping from the skies over Kiev.

What were they doing?

He noticed that the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith standing in a white evening dress in the middle of the square appeared to be leading them.

Thor stood there with his hammer.

“Why is Lilith leading these Spetsnaz?” He asked Wotan.

“I’m not sure,” Wotan shook his head sadly, “if my mortal son was here, he could ask her. My mortal son was once allies and friends with her.”

“You have a mortal son?” Thor was shocked.

“I must confess that I once acted like the Greek god Zeus and seduced a mortal woman,” Wotan shook his head in shame, “it was the late summer of 1888. My mortal son was born 9 months later in April 1889.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone of this?” Thor inquired.

“If he had conquered the world like he said he was going to do, I would have, I’d have been a proud papa,” Wotan’s one-eye wept tears, “but he didn’t conquer the world. He never made it to Valhalla on his death. The Valkyries could not enter Berlin on the day he died April 30th 1945 because they came under attack by Soviet forces when they tried.”

“So where is he?” Thor asked.

“Some wise guy put a gold coin in my son’s mouth when he died and he ended up in the Greek underworld of Hades after Charon rowed him across the River Styx,” Wotan answered, “perhaps you could go to Hades and Persephone and ask that my son’s ghost be allowed to come here to speak to Lilith.”

Thor looked in the direction of Lilith and noticed the wolf Fenrir standing next to her.

“I’ll go,” said Thor, “what is your mortal son’s name?”.

Wotan replied, “Adolf Hitler.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 13th

The Wild Hunt 1889 by Franz von Stuck
An Adolf Hitler looking Germanic god Wotan in the 1889 painting The Wild Hunt by Franz von Stuck

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Return of The Black Hand

June 4, 2015 at 7:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Return of The Black Hand

Saudi Arabian soldiers stood guard at the Saudi-Yemeni border.

Saudi Military Intelligence had received information that Shia Houthi rebel troops might try to cross the border from Yemen into Saudi Arabia.

As Saudi troops stood guard at the border, they were oblivious to the fact that a severed charcoal burnt black hand had crossed the border at their very feet.

. . .

An Iranian ship was sailing in the direction of Yemen.

The purpose of the ship, the Iranian government had announced in Tehran, was to carry aid to suffering civilians in Houthi regions of Yemen.

The aid ship was escorted by Iranian naval war ships.

As the convoy neared its destination, one of the warships veered and started sailing off in the direction of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia itself.

The wheel at the helm of the ship was steered by a severed charcoal burnt black hand.

. . .

Bi-location is an alleged psychic or miraculous ability wherein an individual or object is located (or appears to be located) in two distinct places at the same time.

-The American College Dictionary

. . .

Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko was meeting with a NATO general Gen. Wolfgang Vulkan to discuss the escalating military situation in eastern Ukraine.

In the front of the office as Gen. Vulkan and President Poroshenko talked, in the background on the Ukrainian President’s desk a severed charcoal burnt black hand crushed an orange coloured rose in its fingers.

. . .

In the disputed Golan Heights border region that divided Israel from Syria, an Israeli soldier noticed an armoured vehicle approaching the border from the Syrian side.

The vehicle stopped roughly 500 metres from the border itself.

The Israeli soldier was shocked to see that the armoured vehicle flew not the flag of the Arab Republic of Syria but the sinister looking black flag of the ISIS controlled Islamic State.

He was so taken aback by the sight that he did not notice the severed charcoal burnt black hand crossing the border from Syria into the Israeli controlled Golan Heights.

. . .

Multilocation is the term used when an individual or object is located in several distinct places at the same time.

– The American College Dictionary

. . .

A Russian MiG-29 fighter jet buzzed a U.S. warship sailing in the Black Sea.

At the controls of the Russian MiG-29 fighter jet was a severed charcoal burnt black hand.

. . .

For information on the origins of this mysterious black hand, please read the following:


. . .

At the teller’s booth at this particular bank in Athens, Greece, the teller was handed a handwritten note in which the writer said he wished to withdraw all his money from his account.

The teller was not surprised as there had been several account closures this past month over customer fears that the Greek government would default on its debt.

He was surprised when he looked up and saw not a person standing there but a severed charcoal burnt black hand on the counter holding an antique quill pen in its fingers.

The clerk decided to skip asking for the customary ID.

As #1, the clerk correctly guessed that the black hand probably did not have any.

And #2, he had the queasy feeling that it would probably prove somewhat hazardous to his health if he refused to grant the black hand’s request.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 4th

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