A Day In 186O

November 18, 2022 at 10:37 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

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  • Two women stood talking to one another on a day in 186O
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  • The extremely tall thin and lanky man stood looking at the two women who stood there talking.
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  • He smiled.
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  • For he could see the woman facing his left hand was black and the woman facing his right hand was white.
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  • This he thought was how America should be.
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  • And yet how America wasn’t.
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  • The black woman from her style of dress was obviously a free woman.
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  • And she seemed to be friends with the white woman she was talking to.

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  • Strange to see this in the American South.
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  • For though the tall thin lanky man was born in a log cabin in Kentucky, he resided in Illinois.
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  • And was currently visiting the South incognito.
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  • The man heard a sound to his own right.
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  • He turned to look.
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  • Standing there were 2 ₱ersons from the future.
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  • One was Canadian vam₱ire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and the other was the ghost of Orson Welles.
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  • They had just sto₱₱ed a ₱lot from a Havana Cuba based billionaire Neo-Nazi named Robur ₱ike (who was a direct descendant of Albert ₱ike the Confederate Brigadier-General who was the head of American Scottish Rite Freemasonry, author of the Masonic textbook authority Morals and Dogma, worshi₱₱er of Lucifer and one of the co-founders of the Ku Klux Klan) from a time-travelling ex₱eriment (involving the CERN Large Hadron Collidor) where a Nazi vam₱ire was sent back in time to assassinate Abraham Lincoln before he became ₱resident.
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  • Van Helsing sto₱₱ed the ₱lot by staking the Nazi vam₱ire with a hawthorn stake and then burying the vam₱ire’s ashes (after the vam₱ire had crumbled into dust) in a crate of tobacco that coincidentally enough was bound for the Albert ₱ike estate.
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  • The ghost of Orson Welles watched the staking while drinking a s₱ectral glass of s₱ectral red wine and reminiscing about his love life with various Hollywood starlets of the 194Os.
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  • The ₱air vanished into the night.
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  • And the extremely tall thin and lanky man thought it was just a trick of light that he had seen the ₱air.
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  • He turned his attention back to the two women.
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  • That a₱₱eared to be reality.
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  • And he ho₱ed someday it would be a reality that would s₱read all across this land.
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  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter Written by Christo₱her
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  • Friday November 18th 2O22.

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  • Athena In Kyiv

    August 25, 2022 at 10:47 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    The Greek goddess Athena was in Kyiv the capital of Ukraine.

    She was having a photograph in black and white taken of her by the ghost of Orson Welles.

    Athena remarked, “Coloured photographs in Vogue Magazine are for the Zelenskys. I much prefer a black and white photograph taken by the great Orson Welles.”

    Volodymyr Zelensky the President of Ukraine and his wife Olena had recently had coloured photographs of themselves taken by VOGUE Magazine and were featured as the main subjects in a recent issue of the magazine.

    Including a photograph of them making out while wearing clothes.

    Showing the world that Ukrainians did not always have to be in their birthday suits while making love.

    At the moment that Athena was getting her photo taken by the ghost of Orson Welles, Russian President Vladimir Putin was in Moscow wearing a bear skin rug and making out with U.S. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who was undertaking a secret undercover mission on behalf of the senile Joe Biden Administration.

    The bear skin rug that Putin was wearing had belonged to a Russian brown bear that had been killed by fallout shrapnel from the car bomb blast that had killed Darya Dugina the daughter of Russian ultra-nationalist philosopher Aleksandr Dugin.

    Russia had accused a female Ukrainian operative of planting the bomb and fleeing to Estonia.

    According to the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit, the bomb had been built by the Nazi vampire Dr. Eichmann Mengele who had headed the American CIA’s Science and Research Division since 1950.

    Interestingly enough the Russian brown bear killed by the Dugin car bomb blast (whose body and fur had now been turned by the President of Russia into his own personal conjugal relations rug with AOC as the first lucky recipient of the furry embrace) had been possessed for a number of years by the ghost of Grigori Rasputin the Russian monk and mystic who had served as advisor and healer to the Imperial Russian Romanov Family of Czar Nicholas II.

    Several years back Hades the Greek god of the Underworld had granted the ghost of Grigori Rasputin a dispensational release from the realm of Hades.

    The mystic mad monk’s spirit then took possession of a Russian brown bear’s body and had been possessing it ever since.

    That is until the date of the Dugin car bombing on Saturday August 20th 2022.

    When the bear had been killed by fallout shrapnel from the car bombing.

    The bear’s last recorded words were, “I never got to have tea and marmalade with Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II like Paddington did.”

    Vladimir Putin was now thinking of digging up Rasputin’s body at Tsarskoye Selo and after a heavy retouch at MacPherson’s Funeral Parlour in Moscow (Scottish undertakers and morticians were the best) have Rasputin’s ghost take possession of his original body.

    Putin had sent Patriarch Kirill of Moscow to negotiate with the underworld god Hades on his behalf.

    Patriarch Kirill had recently been called “Vladimir Putin’s altar boy” by George Soros’ altar boy Pope Francis.

    As Vladimir Putin sat on the bear skin rug smoking a cigarette and singing “He’s got the whole world in his hands…”, AOC lay back on the bear skin rug with a look of total esctasy on her face.

    She sighed, “I’ve never known a real man until now.”

    Putin commented, “Well, you’ve got to stop hanging around with members of Joe Biden’s cabinet.”

    Meanwhile in London, England, as the Greek goddess Athena was getting photographed in Kiev, the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill was complaining to British MP Renfield R. Renfield that the famous original December 1941 Yousuf Karsh taken photograph of Winston Churchill that had been hanging in the Chateau Laurier Hotel in Ottawa had been stolen and replaced with a copy about 8 months ago and hotel staff had only noticed now.

    As Welles was finishing up the photo session, vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing walked into the room and started making out with the goddess Athena.

    “Not again,” Welles sighed.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday August 25th

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    Ghost of Orson Welles Dreams He’s Directing Marilyn Monroe In Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice

    April 6, 2022 at 10:01 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    Marilyn Monroe appeared in Orson Welles’ dream this evening

    The ghost of Orson Welles was fast asleep in his favourite armchair in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London mansion.

    Earlier this evening Orson Welles had been giving British MP Renfield R. Renfield advice on how to respond to last week’s World Government Summit in Dubai.

    At the World Government Summit, World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab called for One World Government to be implemented immediately.

    Also at the World Government Summit in Dubai last week, economist Dr. Pippa Malmgren, who served as Special Economic Policy advisor to America’s scumbag Neo-Conservative President George W. Bush, called for a global Digital Currency.

    Under her plan all forms of cash would be scrapped to be replaced by a global digital currency administered by a One World Government.

    Back in Canada the moronic Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau said that any talk of an impending world government was just a conspiracy theory.

    Castro’s low-IQ Canadian son was immediately hit in the face with a poison mushroom cream pie thrown by the invisible 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka purple bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.

    On behalf of Renfield, the ghost of Orson Welles directed a commercial warning of the dangers of a One World Government and a global Digital Currency.

    In the commercial Orson had the ghost of Charles Laughton playing a high-tech digital age Roman Emperor Caligula arguing on the need for a global Digital Currency.

    Laughton played an insane power mad Caligula perfectly.

    As Caligula had the rear end of his horse marched into the chambers of the U.S. Senate to take his seat, the chief priest of the Galli (the eunuch transgendered priests of the cult of the goddess Cybele in ancient Rome) named Jorgaius Marius Bergoglius Franciscus (who was played by the ghost of Truman Capote) called on the need for everyone to accept the Digital Currency.

    Jorgaius Marius Bergoglios Franciscus screamed his head off as the Commander of the Praetorian Guard (played by the ghost of Vincent Price) burnt a mark into the forehead and right hand of the transgendered priest prelate.

    “You now have the Digital Currency mark,” the Praetorian Guard Commander smiled, “Darkness falls across the land, the midnight hour is close at hand…”

    Orson Welles was now dreaming of directing Marilyn Monroe in his own film adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.

    Marilyn Monroe playing Elizabeth Bennett waits on the bottom stairs for Mr. Darcy to show up.

    But who was playing Mr. Darcy?

    Welles woke up at that point.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday April 6th

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    Orson Welles’ Ghost Arranges For Russian Billionaire Oligarch To Be Bumped Off In Switzerland

    March 20, 2022 at 10:48 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Movies, Mystery, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    The Russian oligarch billionaire felt like he was entering a scene in a late 1940s Film Noir movie.

    Which in a sense he was.

    Billionaire oligarch Hunterovich Pervertovsky (the son of the senile old fool Russian billionaire oligarch Josef Pervertovsky famous for going around sniffing the hair of beautiful women and for always wanting to dangle young girls on his lopsided knees as his pair of Russian made Depends dangled around his brown coloured ankles) was standing face to face with a woman who was the spitting image of actress Laurette Luez in the 1949 Film Noir movie D.O.A.

    The entire scene had a black and white feel to it.

    That’s because it was being directed by the ghost of the great film director Orson Welles.

    His friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had arranged for the pro-Taiwan Vietnamese secret agent Ho Babylon Minh to drop a Mickey into Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s hot toddy as he ate his rotisserie chicken accompanied by Black Sea caviar in the Swiss chalet restaurant.

    Unbeknownst to him a Ukrainian band with a Ukrainian ukulele player played that old Canadian restaurant TV commercial song “Life should taste as good as Swiss Chalet” from the top floor of the chalet as Ho slipped the mickey into his drink.

    Hunterovich hit the floor faster than one of his many dropped laptops.

    He soon found himself in this room, his head was spinning in a haze and everything looked black and white to him.

    And he saw this vision:

    Actress Laurette Luez smoking a cigarette

    “There’s a glass of vodka in front of you, Comrade Uber-capitalist Hunterovich Pervertovsky,” Miss Luez pointed with her shapely leg.

    Pervertovsky picked up the glass and drank.

    His face suddenly turned very red like the flags rising above the Saint Petersburg Winter Palace on a Julian calendar October day in 1917.

    “I believe it’s Polonium-210 that you use to get rid of the opponents of your friend Vlad the Exhaler’s regime isn’t it?” Miss Luez smiled, “Well there was enough Polonium-210 in that glass of vodka to kill a race horse. And personally I along with Mr. Welles, Mr. Van Helsing and Miss Ho have nothing against race horses.”

    Hunterovich Pervertovsky the son of Josef Pervertovsky was D.O.A.

    Meanwhile on Hunterovich Pervertovsky’s laptop (which had just landed at his feet) were the plans for Russia’s newest Kinzhal (Dagger) hypersonic missiles just used in Ukraine.

    The plans were delivered to Set Enterprises in London.

    And not the British government.

    As the Bitish government was under the control of Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum and the Great Reset New World Order.

    Set Enterprises was not.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Sunday March 20th

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    Red October

    October 1, 2021 at 11:03 pm (Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

    “Where do you want the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern to take you?” The ghost of Orson Welles asked his companion.

    “I’ll let you decide,” his companion answered.

    “All right,” Welles’ ghost sipped a spectral glass of spectral red wine and spun the globe of the world in the Set Estate Library.

    Welles put his finger down.

    “Ah,” said Welles, “That’s a nice place. Very nice place.”

    Welles reached into the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s glass jar coin collection (of coins dating back to the 1500s from various nations in the world) and pulled out a coin.

    “Ah, a very recent time but that might be okay,” Welles stated.

    He pushed the button on the Houdini-Pantages-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern Film Projector.

    This magic lantern could be used for time travel.

    As Welles’ ghost and his companion flew through the space and time continuum, Welles remarked, “Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster is referring to this month we just left as Red October 3.0. Do you know what he means by that?”.

    “Well,” his companion answered, “The first Red October was October 1917 when Russia went Bolshevik Communist. And the second Red October… or Red October 2.0 is October 1949 when mainland China went Communist and became the People’s Republic of China. Red October 3.0 is October 2021.”

    “So who will go Communist this time?” Welles lit himself a cigar.

    “The United States of America,” his companion answered, “according to Michelangelo.”

    “So here we are,” Welles announced, “Hawaii, October 2009.”

    “Sometime between October 15th and October 25th 2009,” his companion read the sign.

    “Do you have any idea who that very beautiful young woman is?” Welles inquired.

    “That’s Q’orianka Kilcher,” his companion answered, “She played the last Crown Princess of Hawaii, Princess Ka’iulani, in the movie Princess Ka’iulani that came out that year of 2009.”

    “I see,” Welles sipped his wine.

    “October 15th to 25th, 2009,” his companion reflected, “My dad would have still been alive then.”

    “Your dad?” Welles blinked.

    “He collapsed to the floor while shaving in the bathroom on May 18th 2010 and had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance,” his companion recalled, “he died less than a month later on June 16th 2010.”

    “I see,” Welles finished his wine and looked around for another glass.

    “One of the many strange things he said to me before he died was, Chris, fight Red October,” his companion said.

    “Did he explain what he meant?” Welles asked.

    “No, he never did,” his companion looked again at the sign.

    “In the meantime, let’s go see a movie,” his companion suggested, “At least in this month and this year, we don’t need a vaccine passport to get in.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday October 1st

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    If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

    June 18, 2021 at 10:43 pm (Commentary, Culture, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    “I’ll take that last slice of pizza if you don’t mind, Mr. Farrow.”

    “Cut!” Orson Welles shouted, “That’s a take!”.

    “I’ll say it is,” said the actress as she grabbed and ate the last slice of pizza.

    The day’s production was over.

    Welles took his hat and coat and went to a nearby lounge where he ordered a glass of red wine.

    After a few sips, he fell asleep.

    When he awoke, he was a ghost in a pub in London called The Ghosts’ Inn and he was sipping a spectral glass of spectral red wine.

    Welles wasn’t sure whether he was a mortal man dreaming that he was a ghost or whether he was a ghost dreaming about his days as a mortal man.

    It was like that myth he had once heard about the man who fell asleep and dreamed that he was a caterpillar and then when he woke up again, he wasn’t sure whether he was a man who dreamed he was a caterpillar or whether he’s a caterpillar who’s now dreaming that he’s a man.

    “Such intense thoughts on the cusp of the summer solstice,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked over a gin and tonic.

    “I wasn’t aware that I was thinking such thoughts aloud,” Welles’ ghost sighed.

    “You were,” Renfield dug into his fish and chips with his knife and fork.

    A butterfly flew in through the window of the pub.

    “I wonder what the butterfly dreams,” Renfield mused aloud.

    “Not sure,” Welles admitted, “But he’s got both man and caterpillar beat.”

    “Of course there are some idiots,” Renfield pointed out, “let’s call them in Seinfeldian fashion Klaus Schwab, the World Economic Forum, Joe Biden, Justin Trudeau and Boris Johnson who probably figure that when it comes to butterflies, they can still Build Back Better.”

    A British engineering student (who had spent the Covid lockdown studying Schwab’s book on The Fourth Industrial Revolution) was in another booth operating his robotic butterfly (that he called the Transbutterfly).

    The Transbutterfly was trying to take nectar from the petal of an artificial flower.

    The butterfly who had flown past Renfield and Welles flew out the door while the Transbutterfly flew into another customer’s pint of ale where it burst a gasket and disintegrated.

    Dashwood Forrest the noted London art gallery dealer walked past Renfield and Welles carrying a godawful painting.

    “What’s that hideous monstrosity?” Both Welles and Renfield asked at the same time.

    “I don’t think I’ll be able to give this painting away,” Forrest admitted, “Bill Gates gave it to me on commission to sell. It’s a painting that he himself painted. He calls it Painting of A Build Back Better Sunset.”

    “That’s a sunset?” Welles and Renfield both asked increduously at the same time.

    Renfield put on his spectacles and Welles put on a ghostly spectral monocle.

    Both man and ghost reacted with horror.

    Renfield vomitted all over the painting while Welles spewed forth ghostly ectoplasm.

    “I have to say that’s a very significant improvement,” Forrest declared after the vomit and ectoplasm now found their way on to Bill Gates’ Build Back Better Sunset.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday June 18th

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    Tanaka and The Unfinished Orson Welles Film Noir

    June 9, 2021 at 10:39 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

    The immortal Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka: As she appeared in a scene in Orson Welles’ unknown and unfinished Film Noir movie The Feather Casts A Giant Shadow

    British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion and enjoying a fine single malt Scotch whisky as he engaged in conversation with the ghost of Orson Welles.

    Renfield was telling Welles how he had run into the immortal Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka yesterday in a London park and how she had played the most beautiful melody on a beautiful vintage classical lyre.

    “Tanaka had once visited Los Angeles in 1946 and she appeared as the heroine in a Film Noir movie I was directing at the time The Feather Casts A Giant Shadow,” Welles reflected over a good spectral glass of spectral red wine, “A film I was sadly unable to finish because it was shut down on orders of the studio heads.”

    “How did Tanaka become immortal anyways?” Renfield inquired.

    “She had apparently ridden a rare legendary ghost white buffalo back in the late 1870s and it is said that whoever rides a ghost white buffalo becomes immortal,” Welles explained, “And in Tanaka’s case, that turned out to be true.”

    “What was the plot of this unfinished Film Noir movie starring Tanaka?” Renfield asked.

    “It was about a prestigious Ivy League university secret society,” Welles answered, “one that counts several influential politicians and judges among its membership. And one that specializes in stealing important Native American artifacts.”

    “I wonder which Ivy League university secret society you would have based that on,” Renfield remarked sarcastically.

    Welles laughed.

    For both knew that the secret society in the film was obviously based on Yale University’s Skull and Bones Society.

    “And what was the plot of the film?” Renfield wanted to know.

    “That the giant Phoenix bird of ancient legend had once flown over the Black Hills of South Dakota and one of its giant feathers had fallen on a hill top,” Welles replied, “where it was found by members of the Lakota Sioux nation. It was kept in a sacred lodge in the Black Hills known only to certain elders and certain members of their families. A member of this Ivy League University secret society accidentally crashed his plane near the lodge and found the lodge with the sacred Phoenix feather present. Being the thorough scoundrel that he was (a future U.S. Presidential candidate if there ever was one), he stole it.
    He placed the feather in a room in a Philosophical Research Library and Museum in Los Angeles that was associated with a grand global occultic fraternity of which the Ivy League University Secret Society was just a branch.”

    “How did Tanaka’s character fit into the film?” Renfield asked.

    “Tanaka played the granddaughter of a Lakota Sioux elder who was one of the Guardians of The Feather,” Welles explained, “She was sent to Los Angeles to bring the Feather back to its original owners.”

    “So Tanaka was the heroine,” Renfield nodded, “Who was the femme fatale in the film?”.

    “That would have been the secret society member’s girlfriend,” Welles noted, “She was a female Nazi Intelligence officer who had been brought to the United States by the OSS (forerunner of the CIA) in order to help set up America’s post-war Intelligence, National Security and Espionage apparatus.”

    “I see,” Renfield finished his glass of whisky and poured himself another, “And so why did the studio heads stop and shut down production of the film?”.

    “Because I guess it was hitting a little too close to the truth of what was actually happening in the U.S. at the time,” Welles answered, “Apparently FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover himself showed up in the offices of the studio head ordering that the film’s production be immediately halted. And to add insult to injury, Hoover apparently showed up wearing one of the dresses that Vivien Leigh wore as Scarlett O’ Hara in the movie Gone With The Wind. The production ceased with a single phone call within 5 minutes of Hoover’s arrival.”

    “How very sad,” Renfield sipped his second glass of Scotch, “It sounds like the film would have been a great classic.”

    Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka appearing in a scene in Orson Welles’ unfinished Film Noir classic The Feather Casts A Giant Shadow.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday June 9th

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    Orson Welles On The Orient Express

    May 25, 2021 at 10:38 pm (Espionage, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Movies, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    The ghost of Orson Welles sat in a comfortable arm chair in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion.

    He was sipping a spectral glass of spectral red wine.

    He was reflecting on a dream he had as a young mortal man where he was contemplating directing a spy film set on the Orient Express.

    Agatha Christie had published a Hercule Poirot novel called Murder On The Orient Express back in 1934.

    The spy film set aboard the Orient Express that Welles was planning to make would have been done 20 years before Sean Connery’s 1963 James Bond film From Russia With Love part of which was set aboard the Orient Express.

    However Welles’ idea for the film was rejected by film studio heads.

    When Welles had the dream that became the basis for the proposed film, he dreamed he was back in the mid-1930s.

    Soviet Stalinist agents had stolen the Spear of Longinus (the spear said to have pierced the side of Christ as recorded in the New Testament) from the Hofburg Palace Museum in Vienna, Austria.

    They were now riding the Orient Express to Istanbul where they would then board a ship from Istanbul to Odessa.

    And then from Odessa the Soviet Stalinist agents would head to Moscow and then to Stalin.

    However Nazi spies were also on the trail of the Soviet agents as Hitler too desired to possess the Spear of Longinus for world conquest.

    Britain and France had likewise sent their best agents to recapture the Spear of Longinus.

    Welles played the British agent Sir Cyril Bellerophon.

    He was to rendezvous with France’s top agent aboard the Orient Express.

    All Welles’ Bellerophon knew was that the French agent’s initials were ML.

    As Welles’ character of Sir Cyril Bellerophon sat in the empty dining car (as it was currently neither breakfast, lunch or dinnertime aboard the train), a beautiful woman entered the Orient Express dining car and approached him.

    She walked up to Welles’ Bellerophon and said, “Bonjour Monsieur. Je suis Monique Labelle.”

    Welles bowed and said, “Bonjour Mademoiselle. Je suis Sir Cyril Bellerophon.”

    It had occurred to Welles that Monique LaBelle (whose intials were ML) was the French agent.

    That turned out to be the case.

    Welles thought it was a shame he woke up from the dream and had no idea how the whole scenario would end.

    Still he had a chance to kiss Monique Labelle before he woke up.

    And that Welles’ ghost reflected as he lit himself a spectral cigar was the important thing.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Tuesday May 25th

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    Orson Welles, Faust, Marilyn Monroe and The Asphalt Jungle

    April 22, 2021 at 10:55 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Movies, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    The ghost of Orson Welles sat in an armchair in the living room of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

    He had been imbibing several spectral glasses of spectral red wine from a large bottle of spectral red wine and reminiscing to Renfield about his mortal life.

    “I’m not quite sure how it happened,” Welles’ nose was starting to look as red as that of his favourite Shakespearian character Falstaff, “but I somehow managed one day to find myself on the set of the 1950 film noir movie The Asphalt Jungle in which Marilyn Monroe starred.”

    “Did you?” Renfield was intrigued.

    “Yes,” Welles nodded, “and what was even more intriguing is that the Renaissance German alchemist Dr. Johann Georg Faust (who was born in 1480 and supposedly died in an alchemical experiment explosion at the Hotel zum Lowen in the German town of Staufen im Breisgau in 1540 but he did not) was also on the set of that film.”

    “That’s right,” Renfield nodded, “Faust didn’t die until 2011 when I hired an Irish arsonist to bump him off.”

    “That’s interesting,” Welles poured himself another glass of spectral red wine, “anyways I wasn’t sure what Faust was doing there.”

    “My friend the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu who used to be a Communist but isn’t anymore (as she and I have conceived a plot to bump off Xi Jinping) was doing some research and discovered that Faust was doing biological warfare research for the Nazis in the 1930s and 1940s. Apparently that research involved working with bats in Mexico. Somehow that bat research wound up in the hands of Soong Mei-ling (Madame Chiang Kai-shek). Soong Mei-ling’s Kuomintang operatives who had his research papers later defected to the Communist forces of Mao Tse-tung,” Renfield noted, “Later that research wound up in the hands of the Wuhan Institute of Virology.”

    “That is interesting,” Welles acknowledged.

    “What was Faust doing on the set of The Asphalt Jungle?” Renfield inquired.

    “I think he was brought in as some sort of last minute technical advisor,” Welles recalled.

    Renfield googled images of the film.

    “Well, would you look at that,” Renfield was shocked.

    “What is it?” Welles asked.

    Renfield showed him the photo.

    “It’s Marilyn Monroe with the image of the Coronavirus behind her,” Renfield noted.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday April 22nd

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    Valentine’s Day 2021 – 75th Anniversary of Release of Rita Hayworth’s Gilda

    February 14, 2021 at 11:33 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, History, Movies, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    It was 75 years ago today that the 1946 film Gilda starring Rita Hayworth was released.

    The ghost of Orson Welles was sitting in an armchair in a reflective mood as he sat there sipping a spectral glass of spectral red wine.

    “A penny for your thoughts,” said Renfield R. Renfield as he sat in an armchair sipping a brandy.

    “He’s probably sitting there thinking it’s Valentine’s Day Night and none of us have a date this evening,” Dr. Marmalade Montague quipped as he sipped a cognac.

    In the guest lobster tank in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s London mansion, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster held up a sign that asked WHEN SHALL WE FOUR LOSERS MEET AGAIN? IN THUNDER, LIGHTNING OR IN SPAIN?

    “I think that’s supposed to be rain not Spain,” Renfield remarked.

    In the kitchen, Athelstan the butler could be heard singing the song, “The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain…”

    “Remember to remind me never to fly over Spain,” Renfield commented.

    “I don’t think it’s that type of plane,” Montague observed,” “I think it’s plain as in flat grassland not the object that flies through the air.”

    Welles’ ghost was brought back to the present by the sheer inanity of the current conversation.

    “I was just thinking that it was 75 years ago today that the movie Gilda starring my then wife Rita Hayworth was released,” Welles wiped away a spectral tear.

    “That was considered her greatest role wasn’t it?” Renfield asked.

    “It was,” Welles blew his ghostly nose in his spectral handkerchief as tears continued to fall down his cheeks and beard like Niagara Falls.

    Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster pulled his waterproof guitar out of his waterproof suitcase and started playing the song Put The Blame On Mame.

    “That song was from the movie Gilda wasn’t it?” Dr. Marmalade Montague asked.

    “It was,” Welles’ ghost wiped away another spectral tear from his eyes.

    “I don’t want to come across as being insensitive or anything,” Renfield adjusted his t-shirt that said THEY DON’T CALL ME LOUT FOR NOTHING, “but why are you bawling like a baby?”.

    “Because less than 2 years after that film came out, Rita and I divorced,” Welles wiped away another tear, “Our marriage always was under somewhat a strain. Because as Rita herself said, “It’s tough being married to a genius’.”

    “I’m sure that’s one problem Mrs. Justin Trudeau doesn’t have,” Renfield quipped.

    “Anyways,” Welles continued, “After Gilda came out, Rita became a goddess in the public eye. And it’s tough for a mere mortal man to be married to a goddess.”

    “I wonder if the reverse is true,” Dr. Marmalade Montague lit a pipe, “If it’s tough for a mere mortal woman to be married to a god.”

    “Well there goes the Dan Brown hypothesis about who Mary Magdalene was married to down the drain,” Renfield reflected.

    Meanwhile Nefertiti Galore the Estate’s guard cat had pulled the drain on the guest lobster tank much to Michelangelo’s discomfiture.

    “Oh Rita, Rita,” Orson sobbed.

    Welles’ mind returned to an earlier time.

    When Rita played Gilda.

    It seemed to be a far happier Valentine’s Day 75 years ago when Gilda was released.

    For at that time, neither knew what the future held.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Sunday February 14th

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