The House On The Hill: A Poem

May 21, 2019 at 9:56 pm (Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, Poetry) (, , )

The house on the hill was haunted they say
That common belief helped keep people away
Only the brave ventured to play
At the house overlooking Appleton Way

What happened that night many years ago
whispered by people who claimed to know
was loud shots in the night
a desperate search for a light
A woman’s screams
Lace curtains falling at the seams
And then silence fell
No more would dwell
in that house on the hill
Tenancy rate fell to nil

Those who ventured inside that place above Appleton Way
would always return with their hair white or gray
even though their hair colour did not start out that way
when they ventured forth at the break of the day

Their mistake was not in returning before the sun set
Nightfall should have told them, this was no place to let
Visiting the place subject of many a bet
while dark mystery remains at the heart of the Net

It was with this in mind that young Rousseau set out
On a night when the wind was howling about
Dark clouds rolled in
The night blacker than sin
Lightning flashed
Thunder crashed

And of course the door of the house would naturally be opened wide
And Rousseau stepped across the threshold to where the unseen did abide
And Rousseau came face to face with the ghostly vision there
While rainy lightning in the window flashed glowing white glare

Rousseau’s thought then was different from what he had at the start of the day
With this supernatural life and supernatural sight he felt inclined to stay
So now he too inhabits the house above Appleton Way.

-A poem written by Christopher
Tuesday May 21st 2019.

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One Wedding and A Funeral But Zero Hugh Grants

May 16, 2018 at 11:02 pm (Culture, Ghost Story, History, News, Romance, The Supernatural) (, , , , )

A very interesting blog post that Christine has written about May 19th – the date that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have chosen for their wedding.

In this fascinating piece of writing, Christine even brings in Anne Boleyn’s ghost in a blog post that’s part history lesson and part ghost story.

Histories and Mysteries

All eyes will be on St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle next Saturday, May 19, 2018 as Prince Harry ties the knot with his American princess, Meghan Markle.

The event has been dubbed the ‘wedding of the century’ – much in the same way the wedding of Harry’s parents, Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer back in 1981 was the ‘wedding of the (20th) century’.  These nuptials, however, are filled with controversy.

In case you have been living under a rock, or missing the News, I will fill you in on the juicy details.

Former bad boy and beloved troublemaker Prince Harry – AKA Henry Charles Albert David Windsor, Prince of Wales – announced his engagement to American actress Meghan Markle on November 27, 2017.  Harry’s former outrageous antics include underage drinking, pot smoking, dressing as a Nazi for a costume party, and being photographed naked after he…

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Old Time Movie About A Ghost From A Wishing Well

May 9, 2018 at 10:44 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Ghost Story, Movies, Music, music videos, Songs, Video, videos) (, , , )

Old Time Movie About A Ghost From A Wishing Well

Here’s a photo montage music video I made and posted on YouTube 10 years ago:

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Renfield and The Ghost of The Theatre

January 23, 2015 at 11:34 pm (Ghost Story, Humour, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Renfield and The Ghost of The Theatre

Renfield R. Renfield had bought himself a small theatre in West London.

He always thought it would be neat to be the owner of a theatre.

He would rent out the space to small theatre companies who wanted to put on live stage productions.

But Renfield had heard that a ghost haunted the theatre and would sometimes come on stage during live performances.

The reason the theatre had opened and closed so often.

“Looks like I’ll have to call a ghost hunter to rid the theatre of this ghost,” Renfield remarked to Amadeus Emanon as the two stood in front of the stage.

“I suppose,” Amadeus replied as he chewed on some raspberry flavoured candied ectoplasm.

Suddenly a weeping could be heard coming from behind the stage curtains.

“Open the curtains, Matt,” Renfield called out to one of the stage hands.

The curtains opened and a ghostly figure could be seen weeping on stage.

“Please don’t call a ghost hunter,” the ghost wept, “I am the ghost of Sir Allan Falteringham a promising thespian who died when I tripped over an electric cord and fell off the stage
hitting my head prior to giving the greatest performance and recital of my career. Please don’t hire a ghost hunter to rid this theatre of me until you’ve heard my performance.”

“You have five minutes,” Renfield looked at the cuckoo clock on the wall.

The ghost of Sir Allan Falteringham began his recital,

“Oh, I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day,
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-tree.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin’
and have buttered scones for tea.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women’s clothing,
And hang around in bars.”

“That’s the worst recital of the Monty Python Lumberjack Song I’ve ever heard,” Renfield grumbled and reached for his phone, “I’m calling a ghost hunter.”

“Oh please,” the ghost of Sir Allan Falteringham wept, “it sounds so much better if I have a chorus behind me. If you could find me a nice chorus of ghosts to back me up…”

“Your five minutes are up,” Renfield said as a cuckoo bird came flying out of the cuckoo clock on the wall and landed on the theatre floor.

Renfield dialed the ghost hunter’s number.

Sir Allan Falteringham’s nights on the stage were over.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 23rd

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Ghosts Give Their Endorsements In Scottish Independence Referendum

September 13, 2014 at 7:21 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Politics, Quotations and Sayings of Dracul Van Helsing) (, , , , , , )

Ghosts Give Their Endorsements In Scottish Independence Referendum

The ghosts of William Wallace, Robert the Bruce, James the Black Douglas, Rob Roy and Bonnie Prince Charlie took a break from their heavenly harp playing to urge today’s Scots to vote for an independent Scotland.

On the other side, England’s King Edward I, King William of Orange and William Augustus the Duke of Cumberland screamed while roasting on their respective spits that Scots should vote against an independent Scotland, adding that a Yes vote would only add to their present agony.

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Ghosts Galore

July 26, 2013 at 7:32 pm (The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The entertainer in the pub sang, “I’m Henry VIII I am, I am, I just got married to the widow next door, she’s been married 7 times before and everyone was a Henry – Henr-ee  so that makes me Henry the Eighth I am…”

Outside the pub waiting for him was the ghost of Henry VIII and the ghost of his executioner.

“I didn’t find your song very humourous,” Henry harrumphed, “off with his head.”

The executioner swung his ghostly axe and the axe passed harmlessly through the entertainer’s head.

“I see you don’t know how to manifest spiritual objects into a material reality,”  Pan Goatee laughed as he astral projected by on his way to a replication of the Bohemian Grove ceremony on the banks of the Thames.

“Me?  I thought it was you who was going to bring the statue of the giant owl,”  former British Prime Minister Tony Blair said  in exasperation to the current Archbishop of Canterbury.

                     .         .        .

The ghost of Josef Stalin stood in shock on Brazil’s Copacabana Beach at the massive crowd of young people cheering Pope Francis.

A booming voice seemed to echo out of the heavens,  “Well Joe you stupid ass,  I didn’t think I’d ever see you again after you kicked the bucket.  Well now you know how many soldiers the Pope has.”

Stalin’s ghost looked up and saw a huge cloud in the shape of Sir Winston Churchill’s head smoking a giant cigar.

                        .          .          .

Adolf Hitler’s ghost sat in Rush Limbaugh’s huge dressing room and waited for the enormously stout talk show host to return.

The Fuhrer’s spirit tried to help himself to a piece of chicken from one of the 6 dozen buckets of KFC that sat on the dressing room table awaiting Mr. Limbaugh’s return.

But since he didn’t know how to project material objects into a spiritual reality, he couldn’t.

When Rush returned, the Fuhrer greeted him enthusiastically.

Speaking in a thick German accent and spraying his own moustache with his enthusiasm, the Fuhrer said, “I really love your show and agree with everything you say.  The non-whites in this country are getting far too uppity in my opinion.”

                 .         .         .

The Greek vampire Hades used the remote to turn off his satellite TV and then spoke to one of his aides, “You know the reception is so bad underground.  We really should think about switching over to Cable.”

“I’ll look into it, sir,”  his aide replied.

“But still despite the blurry picture, it still gives me some idea of the chaos that exists above,” Hades helped himself to some pomegranate seeds, “we must see what we can do about getting Cerberus back to his guard dog position again so we can stop all these damned spirits from crossing back over the River Styx to the world above.”

“I’ll see what I can do, sir,” his aide remarked.

“It’s all so frustrating,”   Hades hit his forehead, “where’s Persephone when you really need her?  All this masturbation starts to get on one’s nerves after a while.”

“You’re forgetting that it’s summer on Mount Olympus, sir,” his aide reminded him.

“Why doesn’t anyone remember to turn over the page on this damned calendar?” Hades snapped as he turned over the calendar several pages.

                 .           .            .

On one side of the River Styx,  Chris de Burgh sang, “Don’t pay the ferryman until he gets you to the other side…”

On Mount Olympus, Vincent Price spoke as he watched Michael Jackson dance on the moon,  

“Darkness falls across the land,
The midnight hour is close at hand…”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Friday July 26th 2013

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Renfield’s Lottery Ticket Or Wagging The Dog Cerberus

July 24, 2013 at 12:50 am (Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield found nothing wrong with his selection of lottery picks

but the combination caused Cerberus to cross the River Styx

and the result of Cerberus’ 3 heads abandoning their posts

would cause this planet Earth to be overrun with ghosts.


-A vampire novel poem

 written by Christopher

 during the Midnight Hour

 early Wednesday morning

 July 24th 2013

 when ghosts are out

 prowling about.

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Desolate Place

October 5, 2011 at 9:18 pm (Poetry) (, , )

Desolate place
desperate spirits
too many ghosts
too many memories
they haunt the mind and soul
so that when one speaks
all anyone else hears is the sound of silence
The singer is mute
the audience overtaken by apathy
what is the sound of one hand clapping?
Listen and you just may hear it
as you step over the tree that fell in the forest
the sound of which no one heard.

-A poem written by Christopher Van Helsing
Wednesday evening, October 5th 2011

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Summoning The Ghost of Alexander VI The Borgia Pope

May 1, 2011 at 8:28 pm (Horror, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Having summoned Hitler’s ghost in Berlin the night before, Herr Hans flew to Rome the following day (Sunday, May 1st 2011) to perform his own little ceremony in opposition to Pope Benedict XVI’s beatification of Pope John Paul II.

At the same time as Benedict was beatifying John Paul, Herr Hans was at the tomb of the Borgia Pope Alexander VI in the Church of Santa Maria in Monserrato degli Spagnoli in Rome.

He was using the same Druidic book of black magic spells with which he had summoned Adolf Hitler’s ghost to summon the ghost of Rodrigo Lanzol Borgia (January 1st 1431- August 18th 1503) known to history as the notorious and infamous Pope Alexander VI (who reigned as Pope from August 11th 1492- August 18th 1503).

As the Church bells of Rome tolled at the announcement of John Paul II”s beatification, the ghost of Rodrigo Lanzol Borgia (Pope Alexander VI) appeared to a smiling Herr Hans.

Behind Borgia’s ghost was a horned figure who spoke the same words that Giovanni di Lorenzo de’ Medici (later Pope Leo X) spoke at the time of Rodrigo Lanzol Cardinal Borgia’s election as Pope Alexander VI,

“Now we are in the power of a wolf, the most rapacious perhaps that this world has ever seen. ”

Above the tomb of Alexander VI, these words were burned in the air (a paraphrase of the second sentence of Giovanni di Lorenzo de’ Medici’s statement upon Borgia’s election as Pope Alexander VI),

“And citizens of Urbi et Orbi (the city and the world) if you do not flee, he will inevitably devour you all.”

To be continued.

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