₱ainting of The Countess Gina

December 22, 2022 at 11:20 pm (Art, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, News, painting, Satire, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

  • A ₱ortrait ₱ainting of the Countess Gina on dis₱lay at The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London
  • British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield was looking at a ₱ortrait ₱ainting of the Countess Gina which was on dis₱lay at The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.
  • Dashwood Forrest was hosting what he called a Nights Before Christmas Exhibit at his gallery.
  • The exhibit always o₱ened 3 nights before Christmas Day and lasted until Christmas Eve.
  • “Why didn’t you kiss the catering waiter?” Camilla the Queen Consort of the United Kingdom asked the rumoured to be bisexual Dashwood Forrest.
  • “Because he was too ugly,” Dashwood Forrest (whose idol and literary hero was Oscar Wilde) answered.
  • One of the horses in the horse drawn carriage that had brought Camilla to the gallery overheard the remark while he was waiting outside and whis₱ered to the other horse, “That’s the same reason why I didn’t kiss the Queen Consort.”
  • “That’s the same reason why I didn’t kiss Charles when he was ₱rince of Wales,” the other horse re₱lied.
  • “I once stuck my head u₱ the skirt of Meghan Markle the Duchess of Sussex,” a third horse in the carriage quartet of horses remarked.
  • “Lucky you,” the two horses in the front of the carriage horse quartet commented.
  • The fourth horse in the quartet (this was his first night on the job) ₱i₱ed u₱, “Did you hear the one about the incestuous gay male bear cub? He gave his ₱aw a lick.”.
  • “This is beginning to sound like a convention of the U.S. National Democratic ₱arty,” noted a field mouse under the carriage who was eating a ₱iece of cheese and a slice of ₱um₱kin ₱ie.
  • Back inside the gallery, British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield was a₱₱roached by Dashwood Forrest.
  • “₱lease none of your kisses, Mr. Forrest,” Renfield said, “I am not French.”
  • “₱ity that,” Dashwood sighed, “You like this ₱ortrait of the Countess Gina?”.
  • ₱ortrait of The Countess Gina
  • “I do,” Renfield nodded, “Who is this Countess Gina?”.
  • “She is a very good friend of So₱hia the Greco-Egy₱tian Gnostic goddess of Wisdom,” Dashwood Forrest re₱lied.
  • “Isn’t that So₱hia the mother of Yaldabaoth the Irish le₱rechaun?” Renfield inquired.
  • “She is,” Forrest blew his nose into a handkerchief with the ₱ortrait of Dorian Gray on it,” “It’s my understanding that the last time the Countess Gina encountered Yaldabaoth the Irish le₱rechaun, which was in the city of Venice, she gave him a s₱anking on the bare bottom.”
  • “Some guys have all the luck,” British rock singer Rod Stewart hummed as he walked by.
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Thursday December 22nd
  • 2022.

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  • The Countess Gina

    November 28, 2022 at 7:48 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

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  • The Countess Gina looking after her friend So₱hia’s Venice a₱artment
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  • So₱hia the Greco-Egy₱tian Gnostic goddess of wisdom was currently on holidays in India.
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  • So she had asked her friend the Countess Gina to look after and watch her Venice a₱artment for her while she was away.
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  • The Countess Gina was, like So₱hia, an immortal.
  • /
  • Albeit a late immortal in the scheme of beings immortal.
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  • The Countess Gina had been a countess in 19th Century Italy.
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  • And she had been a good friend of France’s Em₱eror Na₱oleon III.
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  • Back in the 186Os, she had visited the U.S. State of Florida where she had found the Fountain of Youth that had been sought by ₱once de Leon centuries earlier.
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  • She drank from the Fountain where she became immortal.
  • /
  • So₱hia the Greco-Egy₱tian Gnostic goddess of wisdom was afraid that while she was away in India, her extremely naughty son Yaldabaoth the Irish le₱rechaun might enter her a₱artment and try to steal her jewels and sell them in order to buy more drink for himself.
  • /
  • Yaldabaoth was a le₱rechaun with a serious drinking ₱roblem.
  • /
  • Although So₱hia would tell ₱eo₱le that her son was in fact the Demi-Urge who had created this material universe.
  • /
  • And various grou₱s of Gnostics had believed that since the early centuries after Christ.
  • /
  • <li!/
  • The Countess Gina sat there in a chair waiting for the naughty Yaldabaoth to show u₱.
  • /
  • Yaldabaoth did not disa₱₱oint.
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  • /
  • As Gina sat there in a chair watching him
  • /
  • /
  • Yaldabaoth was busy trying to o₱en the a₱artment safe to get at his mother’s jewels.
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  • “Yaldabaoth,” the Countess Gina said in a stern voice, “I see you. Get over here, ₱ull your ₱ants and briefs down and get across my knee.”
  • /
  • Yaldabaoth did as he was told.
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  • The Countess Gina took him across her la₱ and s₱anked him.
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  • The le₱rechaun had been caught red handed.
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  • And now he was getting a red bottom as a result.
  • /
  • A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • /
  • written by Christo₱her
  • /
  • Monday November 28th
  • /
  • 2O22.

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  • 1OOth Anniversary of King Tut’s Tomb Being Found

    November 4, 2022 at 10:52 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    So₱hia the Greco-Egy₱tian gnostic goddess of wisdom listening to British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield’s Friday night ₱odcast while standing on the balcony of her a₱artment in Venice Italy. The date was November 4th 2O22 and the Greco-Egy₱tian gnostic goddess of wisdom So₱hia was standing on the balcony of her a₱artment in Venice Italy. She was listening to British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield’s Friday night ₱odcast. Here were some of the things Renfield said, “Joe Biden is the ₱erfect Hegelian synthesis of the old American Ku Klux Klan and the old Soviet Stalinst Communist ₱arty… The Neo-Bolshevik Communist U.S. Democrats will try to cheat and alter the results in the u₱coming 2O22 U.S. midterm elections just like they cheated and altered the results in the 2O2O U.S. ₱residential election… The brainless mainstream media in North America will once again go along with it just like they did with the stolen election in 2O2O… California’s Neo-Stalinist Gov. Gavin Newsom is an A₱ostle of the Antichrist… Michigan’s Gov. Gretchen Whitmer is a diabolical dark arts ₱racticing witch… New York Gov. Kathy Hochul gets her flying broomstick re₱aired in Havana Cuba insulting American flying broomstick re₱air workers… The Neo-Bolshevik Communist New York Times, Neo-Bolshevik Communist Washington ₱ost and Neo-Bolshevik Communist CNN are s₱onsoring a s₱eed hot dog eating contest on Election Eve with hot dogs ₱rovided by leftovers (left unsold to science research grou₱s such as those run by Dr. Anthony Fauci, Bill Gates and the Communist Chinese) donated by ₱lanned ₱arenthood International… This has been Renfield R. Renfield ₱roviding you with the news that other ₱odcasts don’t.” So₱hia imagined that the demons Baal and Ba₱homet and Mammon and Me₱histo₱heles would be sending assassin demons to kill Renfield. And indeed they had as soon as the ₱odcast was finished. What the demon assassins didn’t know was that the Set Estate guard cat Nefertiti Galore drank saucers of milk that had a teas₱oonful of Holy Water blessed by ₱o₱e St. ₱ius X dro₱₱ed in each one.

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  • The London based billionaire ancient Egy₱tian vam₱ire Set sat in his arm chair in his living room drinking a martini stirred not shaken and reflected on
  • today’s date: November 4th 2O22. This was the 1OOth Anniversary of Tutankhamun’s tomb being discovered by archaelogist Howard Carter and his s₱onsor George Herbert the 5th Earl of Carnarvon. It was on November 4th 1922 (1OO years ago today) that archaeologist Howard Carter and his team discovered the entrance to a ₱reviously undiscovered tomb in the Valley of The Kings in Luxor Egy₱t. The tomb would turn out to be that of the Boy ₱haraoh Tutankhamun (₱o₱ularly called in the West by the name King Tut).
  • /
  • Set had not been ₱resent when the tomb had been discovered but his rival, his sister and his sister-in-law the ₱aris based Egy₱tian vam₱iress Isis had. Set chewed his martini stir stick (which was in the sha₱e of a ₱haraoh’s crozier) and wondered what Isis was doing at the discovery of Tut’s tomb. After all as far as he knew there was no connection or dealings between Isis and King Tut. So what was Isis doing at the tomb of Tut when it was found?
  • /
  • Set’s thoughts were interru₱ted by the screams of demon assassins outside as they were ri₱₱ed to shreds by the Set Estate guard cat Nefertiti Galore. Set ₱ulled a live crocodile out of a nearby aquarium and swallowed it live. The billionaire ancient Egy₱tian vam₱ire Set reflected that his own tomb had been discovered 4 years earlier on November 11th 1918 (at the exact hour in Euro₱e that the Armistice ending the Great War (as World War I was then called) was signed) by Egy₱tologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury. Set had been buried alive millenia earlier by his brat of a ne₱hew Horus. Horus had buried his uncle Set alive in retaliation for Set casting an Egy₱tian black magic s₱ell on Horus’ father Osiris that had sent Osiris into exile on a ₱lanet near the star Sirius.
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  • Meanwhile u₱ in his bedroom British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield was being visited by the vam₱iress Ankhesenamun (who in her mortal life had been the half-sister and the wife of the Boy ₱haraoh Tutankhamun).
  • /
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter written by Christo₱her Friday November 4th 2O22.

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  • Sophia Catches Her Son At Perverted Party In Kiev

    March 21, 2022 at 10:17 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

    Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic Goddess of Wisdom catches her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun at a perverted party in Kiev rather than fighting in the Greek centaur Chiron’s army of leprechauns and gnomes

    Sophia had heard the rumours.

    Rather than fighting against invading Russian troops her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was supposedly attending a coming out party of the LGBTQ2s+ community in the City of Kiev hosted by Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelenskiy in celebration of the New World Order that an airheaded Ukrainian woman MP Kira Rudyk said that Ukraine was fighting for.

    The demons Baal and Baphomet were present at the LGBTQ2s+ coming out party as freaks, fruits and nuts whose hair was all the colours of the rainbow (plus colours not in the rainbow) gave the appearance of a Liberace and Elton John directed version of the 1968 zombie film Night of The Living Dead.

    Ukrainan President Volodymyr Zelenskiy, who had just got into some trouble for releasing a fake news video of the Eiffel Tower in Paris France being attacked by Russian missiles, addressed the crowd, “I understand we’ve got some foreign guests who are here with us virtually on Zoom.”

    The crowd cheered.

    “How many women from America are here with us today?” Zelenskiy asked.

    2/3 of Joe Biden’s deputy cabinet appointees put up their hands as well as some muscle bound ogre who just won the first place gold medal in an NCAA Women’s Swimming Competition in the U.S.

    Yaldabaoth, who was busy drinking green beer while Zelenskiy grandstanded in black leather pants and spiked high heeled shoes as holographic images of George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab applauded in the background, was immediately spotted by Sophia.

    “I thought you were supposed to be fighting invaders,” Sophia approached him.

    “Well…” Yaldabaoth was at a loss for words.

    Sophia took Yaldabaoth over her knee and spanked him.

    . . .

    Meanwhile diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Russia were on the verge of collapse after senile old fool Joe Biden called Russian President Vladimir Putin “a war criminal”.

    The ghostly voice of Mortimer Snerd (who was the secondary ventriloquist dummy- after Charlie McCarthy- of American ventriloquist Edgar Bergen) called Biden from Hell (where he was doing a stand-up comedy routine with Cerberus) and told him that it wasn’t smart to call the leader of a nuclear power “a war criminal”.

    Russia’s Foreign Ministry had summoned U.S. Ambassador to Moscow John Sullivan to give him a dressing down.

    Actor John Cleese (who played Basil Fawlty on the 1970s British sitcom Fawlty Towers) told a member of the British press, “I called Vladimir Putin a war criminal once but I think I got away with it…”

    . . .

    Meanwhile the demons Baal and Baphomet had left Kiev and had gone to French President Emmanuel Macron’s bedroom to enjoy some champagne cocktails with the Klaus Schwab approved former Global Youth leader.

    “We’re looking forward to this Friday,” the half-male, half-female half-human half-goat demon Baphomet told Macron.

    “What happens Friday?” Macron asked as he chased an elderly cougar around the bedroom.

    “Haven’t you heard?” Baal said as he sampled a Planned Parenthood appetizer from a Paris clinic, “That’s when the demon Pachamama worshipping AntiPope Francis supposedly consecrates Russia and Ukraine to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.”

    Baal and Baphomet both roared with laughter as Macron adjusted his toupee.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Monday March 21st
    2022.

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    Sophia On One Fine Day In 1955

    May 4, 2021 at 10:50 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )


    Sophia the Gnostic Greco-Egyptian goddess of wisdom
    Currently lived in Italy
    On this date in 1955.

    It was a tantalizingly hot day
    Steamy, sultry, humid.
    Her maid approached her,
    “Dr. Carl Gustav Jung is here to see you.”

    “The famous Swiss psychoanalyst?”
    Sophia wiped her brow
    As her maid wrung Sophia’s sweat out of her dress
    The heat was suffocating.

    “What does Jung want?”
    Sophia asked.
    “He wants to see your son,”
    Her maid answered.
    “Yaldabaoth?”
    Sophia looked at her maid
    Through drips of persperation.

    “Yes, he wants to meet the Demi-urge
    who created the material physical universe,”
    Her maid smiled at Sophia.

    “But that’s only what I told people,”
    Sophia doused her head into a nearby spring
    To wipe away the sweat and perspiration,
    “He’s actually an Irish leprechaun
    with a serious drinking problem.”

    “Well, I guess Dr. Jung is going to find that out for himself,”
    Her maid sighed,
    “He’s up at the house.”

    “My God, no,”
    Sophia went running back to her estate in Tuscany.
    “What god would that be?”
    Her maid asked.
    “Ultimately the Unknown God of The Greeks
    whose altar bears an inscription in Athens.”

    Sophia went back to her house
    And opened the door.
    There lay her son Yaldabaoth on the floor
    Buried under a mass of bottles
    of Jameson Irish Whiskey.
    He was busy singing,
    “Roll out the barrel,
    We’ll have a barrel of fun,
    Roll out the barrel,
    We’ve got the blues on the run…”

    “This is he who created the material physical universe?”
    Dr. Carl Gustav Jung raised an eyebrow in Sophia’s direction.
    “Well… uh…” Sophia was at a loss for words.
    “When I look at the state of the world, I tend to believe it,”
    Dr. Jung wiped his glasses, rose and left.

    “Just wait until you see the world in 2020 and 2021,”
    Yaldabaoth called out after Dr. Jung.
    “Or so a time travelling gypsy tells me.”

    “This is awful,” Sophia looked out the window
    As Carl Gustav Jung was driven away in a waiting limo.

    “What’s awful is there’s no Jameson left,”
    Yaldabaoth looked inside the closet.

    “Awful,” Sophia wiped her brow.

    Her maid walked up the path
    As Dr. Jung’s limo drove by.

    Her maid wondered, “Will the doctor see that UFO hovering over the stream?”

    -A poem and vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Tuesday May 4th
    2021.

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    Sophia Wants Yaldabaoth To See Dr. Adaeze Salisu

    March 16, 2021 at 10:02 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    Dr. Adaeze Salisu

    “Who is this woman?” Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun asked his mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom, “And why are you showing me this photograph of her?”.

    “I thought since you’ve been doing cloak and dagger work on behalf of Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol,” Sophia explained, “You might take more notice if a photograph was shown of her. Like the leader of the Mission Impossible team looked at photographs of people before a recording self destructed in 10 seconds.”

    “Nothing is going to self-destruct around here in 10 seconds is it?” Yaldabaoth looked around the room with concern.

    “Of course not,” Sophia laughed, “Anyhow, now that I’ve got your attention with that photograph, the woman is Dr. Adaeze Salisu the head of psychiatry at Saint Raphael’s Hospital in London. I want you to see her.”

    “You want me to see a psychiatrist?” Yaldabaoth’s jaw dropped and a gold doubloon coin fell out of his mouth.

    “About your drinking problem,” Sophia sighed, “You must admit you’ve had a severe drinking problem for centuries.”

    “And why can’t I have it for several more centuries?” Yaldabaoth protested.

    “You should really be doing more with your life than drinking,” Sophia looked glum.

    “But like you yourself said I’ve been doing cloak and dagger work on behalf of Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol,” Yaldabaoth pointed out.

    “And how has that been working out for you?” Sophia asked, “You’ve died twice when you met one of your fellow cloak and dagger secret operative associates the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka. And then on another occasion you were mooned by British Prime Minister Boris Johnson.”

    “Cloak and dagger work wasn’t meant to be a bed of roses,” Yaldabaoth got the feeling he was sitting on thorns and stood up.

    “Anyhow I’ve booked an appointment for you this afternoon,” Sophia smiled.

    “You have?” Yaldabaoth was shocked.

    Later as Yaldabaoth walked the streets of London in the direction of Saint Raphael’s Hospital, “Why would I need to see a psychiatrist?”.

    He looked down an alleyway and noticed a stegosaurus sniffing a line of laundry.

    “On the other hand…” Yaldabaoth took off his little green hat and scratched his head.

    Later in the office of Dr. Adaeze Salisu.

    Looking at Dr. Adaeze Salisu, he said, “I thought I as the patient was supposed to be the one lying on the couch while you as the psychiatrist sat on the chair.”

    “I like doing things a little differently in my practice,” Dr. Adaeze Salisu smiled.

    “I liked your sign on the door that said THE DOCTOR IS IN,” Yaldabaoth smiled, “I don’t suppose Psychiatric Help is still 5c like it was in the days of Charlie Brown, Lucy, Snoopy, Linus and the Peanuts gang.”

    “No, I’m afraid it’s a lot more than 5c,” Dr. Salisu shook her head.

    “Pity,” Yaldabaoth smiled, “I don’t suppose you have anything stronger to drink than that package of Canadian Red Rose Tea I see on your desk.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Tuesday March 16th
    2021.

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    Communist Rag Atlantic Monthly, Pope Francis, Yaldabaoth and Sophia

    October 22, 2020 at 10:46 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

    The innkeeper of Sleepy Hollow’s Rip Van Winkle Inn (who happened to be the former proprietor of the mysterious Hotel California made famous in an Eagles song) was listening to the local Sleepy Hollow radio station on the radio.

    The station was playing a quote from the United Kingdom’s most controversial Member of Parliament Renfield R. Renfield.

    Said Renfield, “It should come as no surprise that America’s most pretentiously snobbish Communist rag The Atlantic Monthly magazine is doing a hatchet job on those Catholics who think that Joe Biden is a phony Catholic and that Pope Francis is a heretic. The best that the Atlantic Monthly can be used for is as a substitute for toilet paper when you run out.”

    The innkeeper who realized that he had indeed run out of toilet paper grabbed the latest issue of The Atlantic Monthly and proceeded to his own private washroom.

    When he returned, he said to himself, “I hope I won’t have to call the plumber to unplug that toilet. That Atlantic Monthly really seemed to be full of it.”

    He noticed his guest Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun had left his smart phone on top of the inn’s front desk.

    There was a photo on it:

    “Wow, is she ever hot,” the Innkeeper looked at the pic.

    Yaldabaoth came running down the stairs in search of his smart phone.

    “Is that a picture of your girlfriend?” The innkeeper asked.

    “No, my mother,” Yaldabaoth answered.

    “But she doesn’t look a day over 30,” the innkeeper protested.

    “Because she’s a goddess,” Yaldabaoth explained, “She’s Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom.”

    “Wow, now I know why your name Yaldabaoth sounds so familiar,” a lightbulb went on over the Innkeeper’s head which was a sure indication that the village electrician had restored the Inn’s electricity, “It’s mentioned in some ancient Gnostic texts that Sophia gave birth to Yaldabaoth. But I thought you were supposed to be the Demi-Urge who created the material physical universe.”

    “Well, like most mothers, my mother has a tendency to exaggerate about her children,” Yaldabaoth explained, “It was far more impressive sounding to tell people that she had a son who was the Demi-Urge that created the material physical universe than to tell people that she had a son who was a drunken alcoholic leprecaun. People might have been impressed by the leprechaun part but definitely not the drunken alcoholic part.”

    “You have a point there,” the Innkeeper admitted.

    Indeed Yaldabaoth who had taken off his wee leprechaun hat was sporting a very large bump on his head.

    It was caused by the boys of the village of Sleepy Hollow who were using the Headless Horseman’s pumpkin head as a substitute ball in a rather nasty game of Dodgeball.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday October 22nd
    2020.

    Permalink 12 Comments

    Sophia Watches Yaldabaoth’s Attempted Coup Against Mussolini

    September 20, 2020 at 10:51 pm (Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Humour, International Intrigue, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )


    Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom heading towards Il Duce’s residence in Rome where her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was trying to stage a coup d’etat against Mussolini

    The year was 1940.

    The month was September.

    And Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was in Winston Churchill’s underground bunker in London.

    Churchill tried to be an amiable host but he was becoming quite alarmed at the amount of his good brandy that the Irish leprechaun was drinking.

    “So Michael Collins told you to look me up whenver you were in London?” Churchill offered Yaldabaoth a cigar in hopes that would momentarily stop his fast moving consumption of brandy for a while as the wee leprechaun smoked it.

    Michael Collins had been the first Prime Minister of the Irish Free State and he had been assassinated by anti Anglo-Irish Treaty forces on August 22nd 1922.

    During the summer of 1921, Michael Collins had gone to London to negotiate a peace treaty ending the Anglo-Irish War.

    His British counterpart in the negotiations had been Winston Churchill.

    Collins said to Churchill, “I’ve got a complaint. Your British Army once put a price on my head. £1000 for my capture- dead or alive.”

    Churchill feigned mock outrage, “You’ve got a complaint? You’ve got a complaint? Let me show you something to complain about.”

    Churchill went and got the old Boer War Wanted poster offering anyone £25 for the capture of Winston Churchill Dead Or Alive.

    He showed it to Collins.

    Said Churchill, “Now there’s something to complain about. I was only worth £25 while you were worth a 1000.”

    Collins had to laugh.

    After that exchange, the two men became close friends and negotiated a peace treaty.

    The treaty was signed on December 6th 1921.

    When Yaldabaoth had finished his cigar after Churchill had recounted his meeting with Michael Collins, the leprechaun reached to pour himself another glass of brandy.

    Churchill looked glum and said, “I’m ticked.”

    Yaldbaoth quickly withdrew his hand from the bottle.

    “Why is that?” The leprechaun asked.

    “British Intelligence informs me that Mussolini intends to invade Greece in the very near future,” Churchill poured himself another brandy, “There seems to be no end to that bloodthirsty guttersnipe Hitler and his Italian jackal Mussolini spreading their filth all over the soil of Europe.”

    Yaldabaoth apologized for his leprechaunish intrusion and left.

    He summoned his pet pterodactyl (the leprechaun had no idea where this pterodactyl came from and didn’t bother to ask) and flew to Rome.

    He would overthrow Mussolini in a coup d’etat thnking that this would make Churchill happy.

    Yaldabaoth retreated to an Italian taverna where he ordered and drank 999 bottles of Italian red wine.

    Feeling sufficiently buoyant as a result of all that wine imbibing, Yaldabaoth then went to Il Duce’s palatial residence, crawled up to the top balcony and then gave a speech in which he asked the populace of Italy to rise up and overthrow Mussolini.

    Needless to say, the little leprechaun’s speech created a lot of commotion in the Italian capital.

    Word of the booze happy little leprechaun’s coup attempt reached the ears of his mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom who was currently living in Rome.


    Sophia marched herself down to Il Duce’s residence while being followed by a crowd of happy onlookers.

    Sophia wanted to get up to the upper balcony of Il Duce’s residence.

    A huge group of male volunteers grabbed a ladder and held it as she crawled up to the upper balcony.

    The male ladder holders gazed up totally spellbound as Sophia went up the ladder.

    Papal excommunications for publicly masturbating on the spot were widespread that day.

    Sophia wagged her finger admonishingly at Yaldabaoth, “Yaldabaoth, put an end to this nonsense. You just don’t have the resources to overthrow Il Duce Benito Mussolini.”

    “But,” Yaldabaoth protested, “I drank 999 bottles of red wine in the Contento Bacchus Taverna to say nothing of the multitudinous glasses of brandy I had at Churchill’s London bunker which caused the British Prime Minister to declare another wartime emergency upon my leaving. That should be more than enough resources to topple Mussolini.”

    “Yaldabaoth,” Sophia warned, “I know you’re almost 2000 years old but that doesn’t mean you’re still too old to spank.”

    Yaldaboth continued with his speech.

    Whereupon Sophia took Yaldabaoth over her knee and spanked him.

    As Sophia went down the ladder carrying the errant leprechaun and his glowing rosy red bottom, a group of male ladder holders at the bottom of the ladder started shouting, “Now spank me”, “Me too” and “Me as well, please”.

    At the Potsdam Conference in 1945, a constipated and dour looking Soviet dictator Josef Stalin demanded that the wee Irish leprechaun’s coup attempt against Mussolini be erased from the history books.

    And so it was.

    Until 80 years to the day later, it is now being told for the first time.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Sunday September 20th
    2020.

    Permalink 12 Comments

    Yaldabaoth, Dracul, Sophia and The Brave New World

    March 24, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    Yaldabaoth, Dracul, Sophia and The Brave New World

    British MP Renfield R. Renfield was discussing with his former employer (and current landlord) the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set the curious political situation unfolding in Canada.

    The Justin Trudeau Liberals had introduced into the House of Commons in Ottawa today an $82 billion bailout package to help the Canadian economy cope with the financial and economic fallout from the Covid-19 Coronavirus pandemic.

    But included in the bill was emergency Financial Powers legislation that would grant Canadian Finance Minister Bill Morneau (or whoever was named Canada’s Finance Minister) power to raise or lower taxes as well as abolish taxes or establish new taxes until December 2021 without having to seek the approval of Parliament first.

    Ignoring Patrick Henry’s statement that “Taxation without representation is tyranny” and George III’s desire to do just that to the American colonies led to the American Revolution.

    The leaders of both major Opposition parties in the Canadian House of Commons- Federal Conservative leader Andrew Scheer and Federal New Democratic Party leader Jagmeet Singh while approving of the $82 billion aid package for Canadians did not approve of the Federal Financial powers legislation that would give the Federal Finance Minister carte blanche to rule the Canadian economy by dictatorial fiat.

    Therefore they threatened to defeat the bill and being a minority government, the Trudeau Liberals were forced to withdraw it.

    However the Trudeau ass kissing sycophants in most of the mainstream Canadian media such as CBC, CTV and Canadian Global News were presenting the news story in such a way as to give Canadian TV news viewers the idea that the Federal Conservatives and the Federal New Democrats were being heartless in wanting to hold up a $82 billion financial aid package that would help ordinary Canadians who were being laid off and losing their income in such extraordinary times.

    But the trouble lay with the sneaky and underhanded Canadian Federal Liberals (who had always been sneaky and underhanded ever since the days of Prime Minister William Lyon MacKenzie King – a Canadian Liberal Prime Minister in the 1920s, ’30s and ’40s) who were trying to sneak in dictatorial powers to Canada’s finance minister which were an affront to representative democracy.

    But the Canadian media just went along with the dystopian brave new world the Trudeau Liberals were hoping to create.

    Today the Canadian government started running ads featuring Dr. Theresa Tam Canada’s Chief Public Health Officer telling Canadians the simple measures they could take to help prevent the spread of the Coronavirus.

    Normally Government of Canada ads for the past 40 years always ended with a professional announcer saying “Brought to you by the Government of Canada”.

    Today a Calgary based geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield clearly heard Justin Trudeau’s voice at the end of the ad saying, “Brought to you by the Government of Canada.”

    So Justin was now becoming the voice of an Orwellian Big Brother in Canadian government advertising.

    A Canadian Goebbels doing his own voice narration in the midst of a dystopian apocalyptic disaster film reality TV show.

    As Renfield remarked to Set, “This pandemic will finally see totalitarian despots who have been in the closet finally coming out of the closet as the rest of the population are told to stay in their homes.”

    . . .

    Donald Trump meanwhile was telling a Trump ass kissing sycophant from Fox News that he hoped to see every American business establishment currently closed finally open for business by Easter.

    “In other words, an American resurrection,” the Trump ass kissing sycophant from Fox News beamed like a moron in ecstasy on Ecstasy.

    “Doesn’t that mean an American Crucifixion will have to happen first?” Thought Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun who was currently residing in a rustic country farm house in the American state of Vermont and watching the interview on television.

    . . .

    Meanwhile Yaldabaoth’s mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian gnostic goddess of wisdom was standing on a rustic country road in southern Italy.

    “Ciao, bella,” Dracul Van Helsing greeted her.

    “Dracul,” Sophia was shocked, “Aren’t you ignoring what the WHO has to say about social distancing?”.

    “I apologize,” Dracul answered, “That was a spontaneous reaction to when I first saw you just now. If Justin Trudeau finds out about this, he’ll be painting his face to look like mine.”

    -A vampire novel chapter 
    written by Christopher
    Tuesday March 24th 
    2020.

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    A Julian Calendar Christmas Day In Mar-a-Lago

    January 7, 2020 at 11:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    A Julian Calendar Christmas Day In Mar-a-Lago

    Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun sat reading the book The Guns of August by historian Barbara W. Tuchman as he was sitting in the lobby of the Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida.

    It was a book recommended to him by his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

    He had watched an interview last night on BBC America of a BBC World News interview between anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy and his friend Renfield.

    Yaldabaoth had text messaged Renfield asking if there were any good books he could read which could enlighten him to the current world situation vis-a-vis Iran and the U.S.

    Renfield had replied recommending Tuchman’s book The Guns of August as it could serve as an historical antecedent to the current world situation.

    Yaldabaoth’s mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom would soon be joining him for dinner.

    Meanwhile up at the lobby desk, a very beautiful and very sexy (in Yaldabaoth’s opinion) woman who called herself Dolly Castro was talking to the resort manager.

    “Yes, I sent the President a photo of yourself and also what you’re currently wearing and he says he’s very ready to meet you,” the manager said, “but before he invites you to the White House for a one-on-one meeting, he wants to know, since you have the last name of Castro, if you’re at all related to an infamous Castro. ”

    The woman frowned.

    “So,” the manager asked, paraphrasing Sen. Joe McCarthy, “Are you now or have you ever been related to Julian Castro?”.

    Julian Castro was a former candidate for the U.S. Democratic Party Presidential nomination who had recently withdrawn from the race. 

    He had also served in Barack Obama’s cabinet as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.

    “No,” Dolly Castro smiled, “I’m not. Nor have I ever been.”

    “All right,” the manager smiled, “he’s officially invited you to the White House then. I understand you have a gift you’re bringing him?”.

    “Yes,” Dolly smiled, “It’s a new type of Australian harmonica. Invented by a notable Australian eccentric named Uncle Ernie.”

    . . .

    In the resort’s main dining room, Sophia was discussing with Yaldabaoth a woman named Bella Dodd whom she had met in the U.S. back in the 1950s.

    Bella Dodd had been a member of the American Communist Party back in the 1930s and 1940s.

    She had converted back to Roman Catholicism in the early 1950s (she had been Catholic in her childhood and her youth) after taking classes from then Monsignor Fulton J. Sheen (a notable Roman Catholic preacher on both radio and television).

    Bella Dodd had told Sheen about how she had been given an assignment by Joseph Stalin himself back in the 1930s.

    Stalin had a plan to destroy the Catholic Church by getting Communists to infiltrate their seminaries and becoming priests and eventually bishops and hopefully even Cardinals.

    Dodd was asked to recruit Communist men for Catholic seminaries in the U.S.

    She was told by her Soviet handler to get men who were not only Communist but homosexual as well since men with those sexual proclivities had been found to be very useful to the Communist cause in terms of infiltration and espionage.

    Seeing as how Bella Dodd was an extremely attractive woman when she was younger, she should have no trouble determining which potential recruits were indeed homosexual.

    A lot of Dodd’s recruits were ordained by Francis Spellman who was Archbishop of New York from 1939 until his death in 1967.

    Spellman who was homosexual himself (although not a Communist) needless to say showed a surprising affection for Dodd’s recruits (although he did not know they were Dodd’s recruits).

    From Spellman’s patronage, a lot of these homosexual recruits formed a sort of Spellman Apostolic Succession in the U.S. Catholic Church becoming leading priests, bishops and cardinals.

    The successors of Spellman’s pink affections for closet reds make up a large proportion of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops today.

    A lot of these original Dodd recruits and the men they recruited had sexual proclivities not only gay but in particular a hankering for altar boys and young seminarians.

    The most notorious of which was the Communist homosexual Theodore (ex-Cardinal) McCarrick who negotiated the pact signed between the Vatican and Xi’s Communist China that sold out the Underground Catholic Church in China telling those worshippers to place themselves under Xi’s state controlled church.

    In addition to selling out China’s underground Catholics, McCarrick also buggered several altar boys and seminarians during the course of his long undistinguished ecclesiastical career.

    McCarrick, who had been under Pope Francis’ personal protection, was only finally reprimanded and laicized when his crimes became public.

    Of course if you’re a devout Chinese Catholic woman, you’ll earn yourself a very violent slap on the hand from Pope Francis right in public if you wish to discuss the persecution (that Catholics in China are still facing) with the pontiff while you’re waiting in a public audience line.

    The next day the so-called Successor of Peter would mention how abhorrent violence against women is.

    Yet another example of the Neo-Bolshevik Francis’ “do as I say not as I do” attitude.

    -A vampire novel chapter 
    written by Christopher 
    Tuesday January 7th
    2020.


    Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic Goddess of Wisdom had many men ogling her when she visited New York City in the early 1950s.
    Save of course for New York’s Francis Cardinal Spellman who was ogling the man directly behind her.

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