Night of The Blood Red Moon

July 27, 2018 at 11:00 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Night of The Blood Red Moon

The Greek Goddess Hera

“Go forth, Hermes,” Hera commanded, “and ask the Pythian sibyl high priestess of Apollo at Delphi what shall be the first sign marking the beginning of the age of sorrows that shall commence in the 2nd Coming of the Holy One born in Bethlehem of Judea.”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up screeching in his aquarium when he heard the Pythia’s response to Hermes’ question.

. . .

Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA shifted on his feet uncomfortably outside the Oval Bathroom 🚽 of the White House as Donald Trump was having a bowel movement inside and firing off the latest DARPA secret weapon – a cruise tweet- at the entire political and military leadership of Iran.

The U.S. leader then checked his incoming tweets.

“What?” The Donald cried, “Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan just told me to go fuck myself because I demanded the release of American pastor Andrew Brunson from one of those sodomite Turkish prisons where the Turkish guards have a field day. I can’t do that to myself. It isn’t long enough for one thing…”

. . .

Dr. Cadbury Rocher was examining the work of Israeli scientist Saul Kullok.

Kullok had been examining the work of British scientist Sir Isaac Newton.

Newton had apparently studied the entire Old Testament in the original Hebrew and in his book The Chronology of Ancient Kingdoms published in 1728 a year after Newton’s death in 1727, Kullok had noticed that Newton had inserted his own detailed drawings of Solomon’s original Temple in Chapter V of the Book.

Newton in the Book claimed that Solomon’s Temple was a building whose dimensions corresponded to the measurements of the cosmos and the building was constructed in an architectural code that precisely detailed the mathematical measurements of the universe.

Dr. Rocher did not know what to think of either Kullok’s or Newton’s work as he turned off his laptop where he had been reading Kullok’s essays.

However Dr. Rocher had used Newton’s detailed drawings of Solomon’s Temple to program his 3-D laser printer to print an exact replica model (on a smaller scale of course) of the original First Temple for the Temple Mount Faithful an organization in Israel seeking to build the Third Temple.

As Dr. Cadbury Rocher was about to leave his office at the Set Enterprises lab as he heard the shrieks of Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster coming from his aquarium, he got a phone call on his smart phone.

It was from his boss the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s archenemy the Paris-based billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampiress Isis.

She was phoning to discuss the building of the Third Temple in Jerusalem of all things.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had just inhaled a whiff of marijuana smoke that was exhaled by Strawberry Fields Forever (which was the name of his genetically created pot smoking cactus 🌵 plant).

As such, Justin to his horror saw the ET gray Gali-Gula that he always saw whenever he inhaled pot smoke.

“So tell me, Gali,” Justin said as he looked up through the glass ceiling of his plant greenhouse for signs of the blood red moon 🌚, “who is your planet Nibiru’s greatest scientist?”.

Justin had been recalling earlier in the day how when Canada’s asshole then Prime Minister Brian Mulroney had announced his retirement, the Israeli government had awarded him the Israeli National Science and Technology Medal.

“Nibiru’s greatest scientist is Pythagogorgosaurus,” Gali-Gula replied.

“Has he recently communicated with earth?” Justin asked as he started to whistle the tune to the old Beatles song Strawberry Fields Forever.

“The last time he communicated with Earth was when he received a laser message from a glowing white globe that was sent into outer space by Donald Trump and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman,” Gali-Gula answered.

“Really?” Justin answered as he fell face forward into the bush of Alberta Wild Roses inside his greenhouse and started to sing, “Hey Jude, don’t ask me why. Sing a sad song and make it better…”

. . .

The blood red moon over Athens:

Hera to Apollo (as they stood underneath their respective statues): “And so rises the sign foretold by your high priestess…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 27th
2018.

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A Night In The Life of Lepardia Marango

March 7, 2017 at 8:06 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Lepardia Marango ran down the street in her purple mini dress and purple spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.

Lepardia who was the cultural attache at the South African Embassy in London had been spending her Tuesday night clubbing with some friends.

She thought it was safe to do so since the next full moon was 5 days away.

For Lepardia had the misfortune of being a were-leopard (a person who turns into a leopard during the full moon) having been bitten by a were-leopard 7 years ago in South Africa.

There were other circumstances when Lepardia would turn into a were-leopard besides during a full moon.

One was being in the presence of a powerful witch.

As far as she knew, there were no powerful witches at the club she was at.

Little did Lepardia know that Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft was in London visiting Apollo the Greek sun god who had spent the past couple of months in London.

And both of the Greek immortals had been at the Dionysus or Bust (of Aphrodite) Club tonight where Lepardia had been celebrating a friend’s birthday.

Subsequently Lepardia felt herself turning into a were-leopard.

She immediately left her startled friends and went running out the back door of the club.

Desperately she searched the streets of London for a place that sold buttermilk.

For she had discovered there was some sort of antidote to her condition in buttermilk that prevented her transformation.

She ran into a small grocery.

A taxi driver had moments before just bought the last carton of buttermilk.

He was delivering it to the British House of Commons at Westminster where there was a lot of howling going on quite literally on the Opposition Labour Party backbenches.

The howling was coming from Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley who had visited the Dionysus or Bust (of Aphrodite) Club earlier tonight.

Lepardia felt herself turning into a were-leopard.

“Oh, God, no,” Lepardia said to herself.

Then from around the corner, she smelled the sweet smell of buttermilk.

She ran around the corner and pounced.

She eagerly drank from the carton and then ran back around the corner… transforming from leopard to Lepardia again.

“That leopard stole my buttermilk,” Amadeus Emanon pointed out the empty carton to his friend and co-employee Renfield R. Renfield.

“It could have been worse,” Renfield ate a tuna fish sandwich, “she could have stolen my tuna fish sandwiches.”

Lepardia meantime had hailed a cab and was on her way back to the club.

Lepardia Marango The Were-Leopardess

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 7th
2017.

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The Death and Return of Apollo

January 6, 2017 at 5:33 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Mythology, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

In the year 390 AD, the Temple of Apollo at Delphi was destroyed under the Emperor Theodosius the Great who made Nicene Christianity the official state Church of the Roman Empire.

“I’m so depressed,” the Greek god Apollo had wept to the Ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

Lilith could see that Apollo had a broken heart so she gave him some poisoned Babylonian grapes that were capable of killing an Olympian immortal like Apollo.

Following the death of Apollo in 390 AD, the ancient Greco-Roman religion (itself in decline for several decades now since the Emperor Constantine’s victory at the Battle of the Milvian Bridge in 312 AD) rapidly died out so that there were very worshipers of the old Greco-Roman gods left by the time Theodosius himself died in 395 AD.

Zeus and the other Olympians went into the shadows and no more publicly acted in the domain of mortal men and women.

Apollo was buried on Mount Parnassus after his death but his tomb became lost to both god and man after a small quake shook Mount Parnassus.

Then in the year 2012 AD on the night of the summer solstice that year, Apollo’s tomb on Mount Parnassus was discovered by the French archaeologist vampire Dr. Pompidou De Gaulle (whose expeditions were sponsored by the Egyptian vampiress Isis) after sundown.

Apollo’s body was then flown to a medical lab in Berlin since German doctors in their pompous arrogance thought they could bring Apollo back from the dead.

They were mistaken and the medical team drowned their sorrows in gallons of sauerkraut and Bavarian beer.

Even famed South African witch doctor Sterling Makabo (famous for bringing people and animals back from the dead as zombies) could not raise Apollo.

Said Makabo, “Those poisonous ancient Babylonian grapes were quite effective in killing immortals dead… permanently.”

Dr. Sterling Makabo’s statement, even though it sounded like an ad for a TV commercial, turned out to be quite true.

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who was contacted on her smart phone (while shopping for high-heels and dresses in a leading Parisienne fashion house) said as far as she knew (and she had been alive for some 6000 years now even though she didn’t look a day over 30), there was no antidote to the poisonous ancient Babylonian grapes.

So in 2012, Apollo’s father Zeus grieved.

It looked like nothing could bring his son Apollo back from the dead (so only Hades alone would be able to enjoy the playing of Apollo upon his lyre).

. . .

Top 1000 National Enquirer Stories of 2016-

Top National Enquirer story #666 : Set Enterprises’ Resident Mad Scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher Brings Mossad Agent The Controller of the Golem Back From The Dead After Ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith Had Poisoned Controller’s Scotch Whiskey With Polonium-210

. . .

Christmas Day 2016- The ancient Greek god Zeus paid a visit to Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher to see if he could develop an antidote to the ancient Babylonian poisonous grapes that had killed Apollo.

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith (wearing a lovely red evening dress) accompanied Zeus and presented Dr. Rocher with a sample of the ancient poisoned Babylonian grapes that she had fed Apollo many centuries ago to permanently end his heartbreak.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Dr. Rocher promised.

. . .

January 5th 2017 (Eve of the Epiphany on the Catholic Church calendar)-

Dr. Cadbury Rocher put the possible antidote (which he had created in the form of red wine) into a golden chalice and handed it to the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith (who was now dressed in an even more resplendent red evening dress).

Lilith took the chalice and opened the Greek god Apollo’s lips and poured the red wine antidote (to the poisonous ancient Babylonian grapes) down his throat.

Apollo sputtered and choked and opened his eyes and said, “God, that’s good stuff.”

“He’s alive,” his father Zeus shouted with joy.

. . .

January 6th 2017- It was Sherlock Holmes’ 163rd birthday and Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s beautiful and incredibly sexy great-grandmother the immortal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes (who was Sherlock Holmes’ lesser-known twin sister) was dressed in an equally resplendent tight-fitting red leather mini dress and awaiting a European political leader.

Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras entered her quarters.

“Alexis,” she smiled at him and addressed him as if he were a naughty schoolboy and she his so-sexy and so strict school teacher, “I have a surprise for you. Well, two surprises actually.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 6th
2017.

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Magog Meets Napoleon’s Ghost

August 9, 2013 at 11:20 pm (The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Magog Meets Napoleon’s Ghost

Since representatives of the Egyptian Army, interim government and Muslim Brotherhood all refused to meet Magog Rhys Petley, he decided to do the touristy thing and go see the Pyramids.

It was night time and the pyramids were illuminated by great searchlights.

Starlight appeared and a radio playing Nat King Cole singing Stardust could be heard in the distance.

There was a small cloud overhead and moonlight was breaking through the cloud.

Magog turned and saw a spectral figure resembling Napoleon Bonaparte.

“I am the ghost of Napoleon Bonaparte,” the figure spoke.

“Of course you are,” Magog sighed.

Gosh he was running into a lot of weird people this year.

“I was able to leave the Underworld of Hades because Cerberus abandoned his post for some reason, ” Napoleon explained.

“Of course he did,” Magog opened a bottle of Scotch whisky and started drinking from the bottle.

“As I was crossing the River Styx, the Greek Vampire Apollo appeared to me and said I was to give you advice on ruling the world,”  Napoleon pulled his hand out from under his jacket.

“Of course he did,” Magog’s eyes glazed  over into oblivion, “the Olympian’s knowledge of history doesn’t extend until the Battle of Waterloo in 1815?”.

“His directive confused me too,” Napoleon admitted, “especially since I drank a lot of water from the Underworld’s River of Forgetfulness the  River Lethe and so subsequently my memory isn’t what it used to be.”

“No of course not, ”  Magog finished the bottle of whisky and started to loudly sing,  “Some enchanted evening you will meet a stranger… a very special stranger…”

“So I’ve returned to Egypt to meet you since you were here,” Napoleon reached his hand under his jacket again and pulled out a bottle of French brandy,  “plus it’s also 215 years ago this month that I lost the Battle of the Nile to that little English pipsqueak Nelson so I’ve returned to this land of my first major defeat.”

“That was August 1798 wasn’t it?” Magog recalled his schoolboy history lessons.

“Maybe this will help restore my memory,” Napoleon drank from the bottle of Brandy,  “the antidote to the waters of the River Lethe.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 9th 2013

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