Netanyahu, Bin Salman and A Tale of Two Pans

April 27, 2020 at 9:41 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Netanyahu, bin Salman and A Tale of Two Pans

Some foul mouthed teen girl bicyclist was riding down the street shooting her foul mouth illiterate mouth off, “I’ve got the whole world at my feet, motherfucker.”

Pan Goatee who was putting the garbage out promptly beheaded the foul mouth trash can sporting a bad hair style and commented before hand, “Two words of advice. Don’t talk to yourself in public or people might think you’re insane. And don’t suffer from delusions of grandeur.”

He kicked the motherfucking female cyclist’s head down the street where it was promptly eaten by rats.

. . .

U. S. President Donald Trump was talking to his butler and valet Athelstan, “Somebody tweeted me an article from the Nostradumbass Science Enquirer saying that if I were to launch nuclear weapons all over the planet, that would provide enough heat and radiation to kill the Wuhan Virus. What do you think, Athelstan?”.

“Don’t do it, sir,” Athelstan answered.

. . .

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman was talking to his allies in the United Arab Emirates about the genocidal campaign they had been carrying out against the Houthis in Yemen (with U.S. support) for the past several years.

“Why don’t they just roll over and play dead for real?” The Saudi Crown Prince was foaming at the mouth, “We’ve been cluster bombing them. We’ve been cutting off most of their food supply. But they won’t starve to death. We’ve been cutting off medical aid to them but they won’t succumb to Covid-19 or any other illness and die en masse. This is very inconsiderate of them. Why in the name of Allah the Merciful won’t they just die when we’ve spent hundreds of millions trying to exterminate them?”.

The U.A.E. representative had no answer for the bombastic Saudi Crown Prince.

. . .

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was talking to a Mossad agent named Star of Azazel.

“We are going to be annexing a whole bunch of territories in the West Bank over the next couple of months,” Netanyahu said between mouthfuls of kosher corn beef sandwich, “And the U.S. government says it will back us in this. I’m about to earn an everlasting legacy in Israel’s history. And in my humble opinion, I can say no Israeli politician is more deserving of this. I just hope I don’t come down with Covid-19 like Britain’s Boris Johnson did. That would put a damper on everything.”

. . .

Meanwhile in Saint Peter’s Basilica in Rome, the Greek nature god Pan and the demon Baphomet were taking the figure of Christ off a Crucifix and substituting in its place a figure of the Middle Eastern goat demon Azazel.

But since there were no public Masses being held in Italy these days, it would be a while before anyone would notice.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 27th
2020.

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Cernunnos’ One Man Paris Stag Party and A Renfield Livestream Podcast

April 26, 2020 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Cernunnos’ One Man Paris Stag Party and A Renfield Livestream Podcast

Cernunnos the Celtic stag god was walking the streets of Paris carrying his crossbow and poisoned arrows.

He was approached on one of the empty Paris streets by a gendarme who barked at him, “I want to see your papers.”

This sentence so reminiscent of the old Third Reich and the old USSR was heard a lot on the streets of what had previously passed for the world’s democracies these days.

Cernunnos raised his crossbow and shot an arrow.

“Merde,” was the Paris gendarme’s last word before he died.

The Celtic stag god then went to look at the River Seine.

It seemed to be much clearer and more fish in it ever since the lockdown occurred.

Cernunnos looked to the other side of the River Seine and noticed the Greek nature god Pan walking on its banks.

He had been dead for several centuries and now he was back.

Cernunnos went back and listened to a podcast in the Paris apartment he had recently commandeered by slaying its owner.

On it was British MP Renfield R. Renfield who said it was the Industrial Revolution that had ultimately led to the world’s pollution and environmental degradation.

In the post pandemic world, Renfield suggested going back to a more pre-industrial revolution rural society where a lot of products were grown and made locally.

This would help employment locally plus the food produced would be fresher and also free of all the crap that a lot of major global food conglomerates put in the food they sold.

Renfield suggested avoiding being ruled by a centralized global world government that was being advocated by Communist eugenicists like Pope Francis, Bill and Melinda Gates, the WHO and the United Nations.

Renfield quoted the late U.S. President Ronald Reagan who once said, “There’s no more terrifying words in the English language than someone saying, “Hi, I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” ‘

Renfield pointed out how helpful the PRC government in Beijing was when they ignored the words of a Wuhan opthalmologist and denied a problem even existed.

Or how the governments of the world did not end travel to and from China at the start of mounting reports of an epidemic with the exception of the usually moronic Donald Trump.

How governments screw up, Renfield said, can be seen on the question of face masks.

Even though the WHO itself said there’s no evidence that face masks stop transmission of the Coronavirus, Renfield noted, “California’s neo-Stalinist governor Gavin Newsom is having people arrested for not wearing face masks. When all this is over, the people of California should revoke Gov. Newsom’s March 2019 moratorium on capital punishment and celebrate the occasion by having Gov. Newsom shot by firing squad. Just like Norwegians revoked their past tradition of long anti-capital punishment laws temporarily after World War II just so they could have the pleasure of shooting Quisling by firing squad.”

“I like this guy,” Cernunnos took a swig of J├Ągermeister and continued to watch Renfield’s livestream.

“So seeing as how we see governments are constantly screwing up at the local, regional and national levels, what makes you think a world government will be less susceptible to major screw-ups?” Renfield took a swig of whisky, “The bigger the government, the bigger the screw-ups. Smile my friends. The days of fossil fuels are over. This can be seen by the fact the Rockefellers are moving out of Standard Oil. They’ve obviously received insider information that a more environmentally friendly energy source is now on its way. My former boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set moved all his money out of oil industry investments at the start of this year. We don’t need a global Communist One World government ending the fossil fuels industry for us. It’s going to happen anyways. Tell Bill Gates where he can shove his 666 Mark of The Beast vaccine. In fact, if you get the opportunity, shove it in that place on Bill Gates’ own person. Then take pictures with your smart phone. When you see the highly unusual multitude of colours suddenly appearing on Bill Gates’ buttocks, then get down on your knees and thank God you didn’t take Bill and Melinda Gates’ 666 Mark of the Beast vaccine. Thank you for listening, ladies and gentlemen. And God bless the alcohol distillery industry.”

Renfield slides off his chair on to the floor as credits are shown on the livestream and the melody of Sir Edward Elgar’s Land of Hope and Glory is played.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 26th
2020.

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The Bronze Mask of Pan: A Poem

March 25, 2015 at 7:43 pm (Folklore, Mythology, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Bronze Mask of Pan: A Poem

And so it came to pass that in the year 2015
a University of Haifa archaeological team
did uncover ancient bronze mask
of the ancient god Pan
outside the ancient Galilean city of Hippos-Sussita was it found
this rare relic unearthed from the ground
Larger than a human head
this mask of faun god long dead
From whence it came?
What’s it for?
So much mystery
at history’s door.
Most masks of this time made of terracotta or stone
making this bronze mask stand alone
most were theatre masks or miniature masks
so this large mask now in glory basks

A bronze mask of Pan…

… from whence it came?

… and what or who was it for?

And so in ancient times the Greek god Pan did wander
on earth below skies where Zeus did thunder
He came upon a neat little town
his throat parched and his lips brown
he would find somewhere to drink
and have his satyr fancy tickled pink

He put on his mask for a disguise
so he wouldn’t be seen by human eyes
The mask was made to look like him
this half-man half-goat not so proper and prim
That way no one would think it he
under bronze crafted so elegantly

In town there was a wedding
at a place with softer bedding
He posed as a wedding guest
though he knew neither bride nor groom
he would have to confess

He did ask for wine
so they gave him a cup
and that was fine

He went outside to drink the wine
and never had he tasted so fine
when he raised his mask to drink
his taste buds tickled pink

Oh such sweet Heaven!
Never did even ambrosia taste like this
surpassing that Olympian drink in heavenly bliss
O nectar divine!
O wine so fine!

Great god Pan lifted his cup to the sky
and then died without even a sigh.

For it was not for seemingly immortal gods was this wine given
but for mortal man so that life was worth livin’

Pan’s body was found by the bride’s father
He realized this would be such a bother
for he recognized the god and knew
he would have to think this through
who would believe his tale when told
he picked up the mask so old
And especially thought the bride’s father
that this god died drinking wine made from water.

And so it was that this day at Cana of Galilee
saw the death of an ancient deity.

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday March 25th
2015.

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