The Cosmic Origins of P.H. Lovecat

February 4, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Music, Mystery, Mythology, News, Politics, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

His name was Peter Hieronymous Felinedamour.

P. H. Felinedamour for short.

He was an artist.

An artist inspired by the writings of H.P. Lovecraft.

Many Lovecraftian entities showed up in his paintings.

And in the art show that Dashwood Forrest (the Oscar Wilde admiring owner of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London) would be opening tonight in his gallery, the last painting that Peter Hieronymous Felinedamour ever painted – from December 21st 2012 (the same night that he disappeared) – would be on pre-eminent display in the middle of the gallery for this art show.

Dashwood Forrest was currently showing the painting to British MP Renfield R. Renfield and his date for this evening Lepardia Marango the cultural attache at the South African Embassy in London.

Renfield was bringing Lepardia to the gallery as a way of saying thanks to the cultural attache for saving the Transhumanist MP’s life this past weekend.

Lepardia had stopped an assasination attempt on Renfield by wrestling to the ground the Russian vampiress and FSB operative Svetlana Kireeva.

The incident occurred in the final match of a darts tournament being held at the Clytemnestra’s Revenge and Agamemnon’s Bathtub Pub and Beef House.

The wrestling match between mortal woman and immortal (unless staked through the heart) vampiress caused Renfield to lose the tournament by wrecking his final throw.

Svetlana had intended to assasinate Renfield by firing a poison dart at him with an Amazon tribesman’s blow gun.

Instead the dart hit the left foot of the American Jesuit priest Father Neville Barack Chamberlain (who was theological advisor to New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan advising His Eminence on how to take a firm stand on the most pressing doctrinal and moral issues of the day) causing a paralysis in the priest’s right testicle in an example of acupuncture and chi energy gone horribly wrong.

Lepardia and Renfield gazed at the P.H. Felinedamour painting entitled

Artemis, Cthulhu, Diana’s Sacred Deer and Hecate’s Familiar Black Cat With Clytemnestra Holding A Net and Agamemnon Screaming In The Nude In The Background.

“So that was the last painting he ever painted?” Renfield asked the London art gallery owner as he downed a reddish pink with shades of China blue shooter called Vincent Van Gogh’s Missing Ear.

Ariana Grande walked by in a slit skirted evening dress that prominently displayed her new “Barbecue Grill Finger” (in Japanese lettering) tattoo.

The singer was eating Honey Dipped Chicken Fingers from McDonalds.

No doubt Bill Clinton and the Rev. Jesse Jackson would have loved to have been flies on the wall (or even better, flies on the floor) as the lovely Miss Grande walked by.

“That is correct,” Forrest bowed to Renfield as Renfield crushed and killed a pair of flies on the floor with his right shoe.

Forrest’s personal secretary arrived on the scene to inform the Oscar Wilde lookalike London art gallery owner that his living dead Irish manservant and valet Mulligan the Irish zombie had just accidentally spilled barbecued chicken wings hors d’oeuvres down the evening dress of British Prime Minister Theresa May.

“Excuse me,” Forrest whispered to Renfield and Lepardia as his face turned as pale as the portrait of Dorian Gray and he rushed in the direction of the catastrophe.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 4th
2019.


Ariana Grande: Showing off her “Barbecue Grill Finger” (in Japanese lettering) tattoo at the P.H. Lovecat (Felinedamour) Art Show.

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Cardinal Maradiaga Enjoys A Brandy With The Demon Asmodeus

May 31, 2017 at 4:17 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga of Honduras the pompous and arrogant neo-Marxist chairman of the Vatican Council of Cardinals had spent his morning throwing darts at his picture of Raymond Cardinal Burke on his office wall.

He had now run to a Rome taverna where he was to meet the demon Asmodeus for lunch and a brandy.

The demon Asmodeus was quietly sitting at a table in the taverna smoking a cigarette.

He had a bottle of brandy in front of him.

“I hope you don’t mind, your Eminence,” Asmodeus extended his clawed reptilian hand and shook the Cardinal’s hand, “but I’ve already ordered a brandy for myself.”

“Quite all right, my dear friend Asmodeus,” the Cardinal replied, “but where’s your glass?”,

“I don’t drink from a glass,” Asmodeus laughed, “I drink straight from the bottle.”

Whereupon Asmodeus raised the bottle to his demonic lips, drank steadily and then belched.

The smell of sulphur hung steadily in the air of the taverna after Asmodeus’ belch.

“It smells like the smell after a Novus Ordo morning prayer service in my personal chapel,” Cardinal Maradiaga sniffed the air, “Simply divine.”

“I agree,” Asmodeus used his smoking middle finger to light himself another cigarette.

“Meow,” said a voice next to the table.

Cardinal Maradiaga looked down.

At his feet was Hecate’s personal pet black cat and familiar Amorous Laetitia.

Amorous Laetitia’s mistress Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft was feeling quite indisposed these days after her head was decapitated by Pan Goatee and later eaten by the Norse wolf Fenrir.

“I see Amorous Laetitia is here with us,” Cardinal Maradiaga smiled, “and she certainly has a large saucer of milk that she seems to be enjoying.”

“That’s actually a saucer of Bailey’s Irish Cream she’s drinking,” Asmodeus replied with a heavy smoker’s cough.

“I see,” Cardinal Maradiaga said.

He ordered a glass of brandy and a plate of lasagna.

He and Asmodeus then discussed their mutual concerns.

Amorous Laetitia then ordered another saucer of Bailey’s Irish Cream.

And then another.

And then another.

Soon the black cat was dancing on the tables and singing, “Roll out the barrel. We’ll have a barrel of fun.”

“I didn’t know cats had the power of speech,” said a stunned American tourist sitting at another table.

“Maybe they don’t but they certainly have a good singing voice,” said his wife who was clapping her hand and swinging her leg in rhythm to the beat.

“I didn’t know Amorous Laetitia’s drinking was going to be a problem,” Asmodeus blushed but seeing as how his face was flame Hellishly burnt, one couldn’t really tell the difference.

Meanwhile outside the taverna in the direction of the man-made lake and the trees stood the Greek goddess Artemis looking mildly amused.

Greek Goddess Artemis

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 31st
2017.

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