Games of War and Peace

July 26, 2018 at 9:24 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Games of War and Peace

Iranian Major-General Qassem Soleimani the commander of the Quds Force of Iran’s elite Revolutionary Guards responded to Donald Trump’s all caps tweet of a few days before in which he threatened Iran 🇮🇷.

Said Soleimani, “If you begin the war, we will end the war.”

He added, “We are near you, where you can’t even imagine.”

“What do you suppose Soleimani meant by that?” Amadeus Emanon asked his good friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“There are Iranian soldiers across the border over in Mexico 🇲🇽,” Renfield replied.

“Really?” Amadeus was shocked.

“Yes and they won’t be stopped by any wall,” Renfield broke some bricks with his bare hands in a martial arts manoeuvre.

“Wow,” Amadeus was trying to fathom all this.

“Plus there are also Iranian troops in Venezuela 🇻🇪,” Renfield played the Harry Belafonte song Matilda on his iPhone.

“There are?” Amadeus was again shocked.

“Yes, along with the nuclear weapons that the Iranians hid from the International Atomic Energy Agency inspection teams,” Renfield started playing the James Bond movie theme song For Your Eyes Only on his iPhone.

“Do the U.S. Intelligence agencies know about this?” Amadeus asked.

“Probably not,” Renfield played the Monty Python song How Sweet To Be An Idiot on his accordion, “they’re too busy investigating the possibility that it was Russian interference in the 2016 election that was responsible for the Hillarybeast’s defeat.”

“You don’t think it was?” Amadeus raised an eyebrow.

“No, one thing about the left wing liberal bozos that make up America’s media and cultural elites, they don’t seem to know and understand much history,” Renfield played the theme song from the movie Gone With The Wind on his accordion, “if they did they’d realize that in really troubled economic times (as has existed in America since the global financial crash of 2008 and as existed in Germany in the days of the Weimar Republic), the vast majority of the working class are always going to prefer a populist demagogue that appeals to their fears rather than some spoiled brat stuck-up wealthy condescending liberal elitist who’ll throw a few bread crumb expensive social programs in their direction but really do nothing to alleviate the causes of their economic misery. Hence probably the reason why Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster and I were the only ones to predict a Trump win even while The New York Times, The Washington Post and CNN were touting how far behind in the opinion polls Trump was behind the Hillarybeast.”

The ghost of Orson Welles who was eavesdropping on the conversation agreed with Renfield’s assessment
and commented, “This explains my unpopularity with most of Hollywood’s establishment who were and are liberal Democrats. I was one of the few New Deal liberal Democrats around who actually knew, loved and understood history. Therefore they despised me.”

. . .

Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras was struggling with the aftermath of the Greek wildfires (that were most likely deliberately set) and now massive flooding had hit Greece 🇬🇷.

When Tsipras opened the door of his office, he was startled to see a woman standing there.

The woman was the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who was sporting a new necklace.

“Good evening, Mr. Tsipras,” she smiled her vampiric incisors at him, “Do come closer and embrace me. A closer look and feel of my new necklace, perhaps?”.

The Vampiress Lilith sporting a new necklace

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 26th
2018.

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Dracul Van Helsing and Sherrielock Holmes: The Nymph of The Blue Moon: A Poem

January 9, 2017 at 1:32 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Poetry, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dracul Van Helsing Canadian vampire hunter walked the streets of London
Dressed in his Philip Marlowe Private Eye style trenchcoat and fedora hat
that he always wore when he was feeling melancholy and reflective
A fan of 1940s horror, mystery, detective and film noir films
Dressing like Marlowe helped him battle his depression
The knight of Raymond Chandler’s stories
who wore not a suit of shining armour
but a private eye trenchcoat and fedora hat
when rescuing damsels in distress and battling evil and corruption
A 1940s southern California equivalent of the Spanish Don Quixote
representing knightly chivalry and ideas in ages that had long forgotten them

Now it was early January 2017
Donald Trump was about to be inaugurated President
Hillary Clinton was blaming the Russians for her electoral defeat
and satyr serial killing contract assassin Pan Goatee
was putting in excessively long hours of overtime
in his chosen vocation of making the world a more beautiful place to live
The only females who seemed to radiate any class or good taste these days
(and nights) were vampiresses
which made Dracul Van Helsing Vampire Hunter
glad that he didn’t slay vampiresses

Dracul recalled his New Year’s Eve this past stroke of midnight and year change
when he watched beautiful Assyrian women dancing
and so wished he could join them

The day after New Year’s he visited Dulcinea Lucia a gypsy fortune teller in London
to hear his future
“You shall meet an immortal,” Dulcinea Lucia told Dracul, “and you shall fall in love.”

“An immortal?” Dracul asked her, “A vampiress?”
“Not a vampiress,” Dulcinea shook her head.
“One of the goddesses of the ancient world returned to Earth perhaps?’ Dracul asked again.
“Not one of those goddesses,” Dulcinea shook her head.
“Then what sort of immortal?” Dracul asked a third question.
“I’m not sure,” Dulcinea looked puzzled and her crystal ball clouded up with the Cosmic Operator asking for more money.

Dracul declined to pay more and walked out into the wintery London night
He passed the window of a used book store
which had The Complete Stories of Sherlock Holmes in the window
Dracul loved Sherlock Holmes stories
The great immortal detective
Too bad that immortal didn’t have a sister who was both beautiful and brainy

Then this past evening of January 6th, Dracul had been invited to a masquerade ball
celebrating the 12th Day of Christmas
He decided to dress up as the Phantom of the Opera Erik
since these days and nights he felt as unloved as that poor creature

As he walked down the street in the falling snow, he happened to pass
Alexis Tsipras the Prime Minister of Greece
who was busy rubbing his rear end and screaming,
“My buns! Poor tomatoed buns! Will they ever lose their red rosy colour
in the light of day or the darkness of night?”

“Well, he’s been drinking too much Ouzo this evening,” Dracul thought to himself
Dracul then entered the place where the masquerade ball was being held
He wandered aimlessly through the house
until he entered a room where he saw the nymph of the Blue Moon

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday January 8th
2016

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The Death and Return of Apollo

January 6, 2017 at 5:33 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Mythology, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

In the year 390 AD, the Temple of Apollo at Delphi was destroyed under the Emperor Theodosius the Great who made Nicene Christianity the official state Church of the Roman Empire.

“I’m so depressed,” the Greek god Apollo had wept to the Ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

Lilith could see that Apollo had a broken heart so she gave him some poisoned Babylonian grapes that were capable of killing an Olympian immortal like Apollo.

Following the death of Apollo in 390 AD, the ancient Greco-Roman religion (itself in decline for several decades now since the Emperor Constantine’s victory at the Battle of the Milvian Bridge in 312 AD) rapidly died out so that there were very worshipers of the old Greco-Roman gods left by the time Theodosius himself died in 395 AD.

Zeus and the other Olympians went into the shadows and no more publicly acted in the domain of mortal men and women.

Apollo was buried on Mount Parnassus after his death but his tomb became lost to both god and man after a small quake shook Mount Parnassus.

Then in the year 2012 AD on the night of the summer solstice that year, Apollo’s tomb on Mount Parnassus was discovered by the French archaeologist vampire Dr. Pompidou De Gaulle (whose expeditions were sponsored by the Egyptian vampiress Isis) after sundown.

Apollo’s body was then flown to a medical lab in Berlin since German doctors in their pompous arrogance thought they could bring Apollo back from the dead.

They were mistaken and the medical team drowned their sorrows in gallons of sauerkraut and Bavarian beer.

Even famed South African witch doctor Sterling Makabo (famous for bringing people and animals back from the dead as zombies) could not raise Apollo.

Said Makabo, “Those poisonous ancient Babylonian grapes were quite effective in killing immortals dead… permanently.”

Dr. Sterling Makabo’s statement, even though it sounded like an ad for a TV commercial, turned out to be quite true.

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who was contacted on her smart phone (while shopping for high-heels and dresses in a leading Parisienne fashion house) said as far as she knew (and she had been alive for some 6000 years now even though she didn’t look a day over 30), there was no antidote to the poisonous ancient Babylonian grapes.

So in 2012, Apollo’s father Zeus grieved.

It looked like nothing could bring his son Apollo back from the dead (so only Hades alone would be able to enjoy the playing of Apollo upon his lyre).

. . .

Top 1000 National Enquirer Stories of 2016-

Top National Enquirer story #666 : Set Enterprises’ Resident Mad Scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher Brings Mossad Agent The Controller of the Golem Back From The Dead After Ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith Had Poisoned Controller’s Scotch Whiskey With Polonium-210

. . .

Christmas Day 2016- The ancient Greek god Zeus paid a visit to Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher to see if he could develop an antidote to the ancient Babylonian poisonous grapes that had killed Apollo.

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith (wearing a lovely red evening dress) accompanied Zeus and presented Dr. Rocher with a sample of the ancient poisoned Babylonian grapes that she had fed Apollo many centuries ago to permanently end his heartbreak.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Dr. Rocher promised.

. . .

January 5th 2017 (Eve of the Epiphany on the Catholic Church calendar)-

Dr. Cadbury Rocher put the possible antidote (which he had created in the form of red wine) into a golden chalice and handed it to the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith (who was now dressed in an even more resplendent red evening dress).

Lilith took the chalice and opened the Greek god Apollo’s lips and poured the red wine antidote (to the poisonous ancient Babylonian grapes) down his throat.

Apollo sputtered and choked and opened his eyes and said, “God, that’s good stuff.”

“He’s alive,” his father Zeus shouted with joy.

. . .

January 6th 2017- It was Sherlock Holmes’ 163rd birthday and Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s beautiful and incredibly sexy great-grandmother the immortal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes (who was Sherlock Holmes’ lesser-known twin sister) was dressed in an equally resplendent tight-fitting red leather mini dress and awaiting a European political leader.

Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras entered her quarters.

“Alexis,” she smiled at him and addressed him as if he were a naughty schoolboy and she his so-sexy and so strict school teacher, “I have a surprise for you. Well, two surprises actually.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 6th
2017.

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