The Cat People and The Wolfman

October 12, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Movies, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Simone Simon as Irena Dubrovna the black panther shapeshifting cat woman New York City based Serbian born and raised fashion illustrator who tore a psychiatrist to pieces with her claws

Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. of E. Parish Church in West London was meeting with one of his parishioners the world-famous concert pianist Amadeus Emanon in his vicarage kitchen who was enjoying the homemade cinnamon buns made by Father Aidan’s housekeeper Mrs. Lancaster.

Amadeus Emanon was already on his 36th cinnamon bun.

“Do you suppose Mrs. Lancaster might make some more?” Amadeus asked as he looked at the now empty plate.

“Well I do believe it takes awhile to make those cinnamon buns,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds explained, “plus I think she’s currently busy listening to your friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Wednesday night podcast.”

From upstairs in Mrs. Lancaster’s bedroom could be heard the voice of Renfield R. Renfield saying, “Wow. What a shocker. The cocaine snorting editors of Britain’s The Economist Magazine are calling for cocaine use to be legalized.”

“You know,” Amadeus helped himself to a gingerbread cookie man that Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds brought him from the refrigerator, “Renfield was telling me that Russian President Vladimir Putin hired a Siberian shaman to go to New York City and raise from the dead the body of the Serbian cat woman Irena Dubrovna. As Miss Dubrovna’s spirit has graduated from Purgatory to Paradise, she won’t be returning to her body. However a famous homicidally inclined Byzantine mermaid Echidna Antiochus who was put to death on the Byzantine Emperor Justinian I’s orders has had her spirit granted a dispensational release from the Underworld by Hades and has taken possession of Irena Dubrovna’s body.
She is going to Kiev Ukraine as an ally of Putin and will be using Irena Dubrovna’s body to turn into a black panther to rip apart bodies of Ukrainians because the demon Moloch appearing as Saint Michael the Archangel has told Vladimir Putin that it’s the right thing to do.”

“How horrifying,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds made the Sign of the Cross.

Father Aidan’s making the Sign of the Cross caused a Calvinist street preacher standing on the sidewalk outside the vicarage to drop dead.

“The thing is,” Amadeus scratched his head, “I always thought the 1942 film The Cat People starring Simone Simon was a work of fiction. I didn’t think it was based on a real incident and I didn’t think Irena Dubrovna was a real actual person.”

“Well, it turns out,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds checked out a passage in the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work (written before he died) Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film, “that there really was an Irena Dubrovna in the late 1930s and that what happened in the film was true.”

“Wow,” Amadeus Emanon walked over to the refrigerator and brought out the entire plate of gingerbread men cookies that he then started eating, “Next thing you know you’ll be telling me that there really was a werewolf called Larry Talbot and that the classic 1941 Universal Pictures monster horror film called The Wolfman that starred Lon Chaney Jr., Claude Rains and Evelyn Ankers was based on something that actually happened in real life.”

“Well, actually,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds cleared his throat, “I can tell you that Larry Talbot did actually exist and what happened in the 1941 film The Wolfman was true and I don’t need to consult the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film to determine that. For it turns out my grandfather the Anglican clergyman Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds was the curate of Saint Magloire’s Church in Llanwelly Wales near Talbot Castle at the time Larry Talbot arrived in the village to flirt with Gwen Conliffe the daughter of the village antique shop owner and to get bitten by Bela the gypsy fortune telling werewolf.”

“Really?” Amadeus paused in the middle of eating his 6th gingerbread man cookie.

“Yes,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds nodded, “As an interesting postscript to the film which ended with Larry Talbot getting killed by his own wolf’s head silver cane walking stick wielded by Larry’s father Sir John Talbot, the Talbot Castle game keeper Frank Andrews (played by actor Patric Knowles in the film), who was Gwen Conliffe’s fiance, ended up getting killed by a wererabbit bunny rabbit that had apparently been originally bitten by Larry Talbot. After the Saint Magloire’s Church exorcism team made Welsh rarebit out of the Welsh wererabbit, after an appropriate period of mourning for the late departed Mr. Andrews, Gwen Conliffe ended up marrying the young curate Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds. So Gwen Conliffe is actually my grandmother.”

“Holy fuck,” Amadeus Emanon commented.

Mrs. Lancaster came down the stairs and washed Amadeus Emanon’s mouth out with soap.

. . .

Outside 10 Downing Street, Larry the 10 Downing Street cat was chasing away the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow and his spectral black horse.

Inside 10 Downing Street, former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was trying to convince current British Prime Minister Liz Truss to hire a witch doctor or shaman to raise the famous Wolfman werewolf Larry Talbot from the dead in the Llanwelly Village Cemetery in Wales and send him to eastern Ukraine to eat and devour Russian soldiers.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 12th
2022.

Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers) among the gypsies

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Jack O’ Hare Meets Mr. Ed The Talking Horse

October 29, 2021 at 9:45 pm (Film, Mystery, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

Gwen with Mr. Ed the Talking Horse

Jack O’ Hare was playing with a telegraph set practicing his Morse
When those Halloween X-Solar flares unleashed a powerful force
And sent him hurtling through space-time wildly off course
Back to the time of Mr. Ed the Talking Horse

Asked Jack, “Are you Mr. Ed the Talking Horse?
Replied the noble equine, “Of course! Of course! Of course!”.

“And who are you?” Jack asked the fair maiden,
“Gwen Conliffe,” she said on night when moon wasn’t fadin,
Then she added,
“Even a man who is pure in heart
And says his prayers at night
Can become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms
And the autumn moon is bright.”

In the distance Larry Talbot’s tormented soul howled
And in far off tracks of Talbot estate one lone wolf growled.

“Tis Halloween,” said Jack as space-time went off course,
“The only time of year,” said Mr. Ed, “where you’ll meet a talking horse.”

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday October 29th 2021.

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