Halloween Is The Scene: A Poem
Halloween Is The Scene: A Poem
Halloween is the scene
pumpkins orange, Martians green
from headless horseman to flying witch
to skull and crossbones lying in the ditch
It’s a very macabre night
designed to give one lots of fright
ghosts and goblins and ghouls galore
Candies and apples handed out at the door
In the graveyard, not a soul can be found
only the spectre of a giant hound
Sherlock Holmes is now on the scene
and Moriarty is turning green
he’s eaten too much candy trick or treating
and now he’s purging his insides, his heart still beating
Count Dracula stands and laughs
while Frankie and Wolfman are taking baths
Happy Halloween and to all a good night
your horror movie bill is quite the fright!
-A Halloween poem
written by Christopher
Monday October 17th
2016.
Haiku About The Great Pumpkin
Haiku About The Great Pumpkin
Lives in pumpkin patch
rises on Halloween night
Linus alone sees
Renfield In Sleepy Hollow: A Poem
Renfield In Sleepy Hollow: A Poem
For Renfield, it was not such a bitter pill to swallow,
to be at this time of year visiting the town of Sleepy Hollow,
for he could have been with the band Smashing Pumpkins
and eaten horse men’s heads with his chicken dumplings.
For Renfield was a cool cat though shapeshifting hamster he be
and was always human when he took a pee
or visited the tea rooms for afternoon tea.
For the time of year was Halloween
when ghosts and goblins walk to be seen
and wouldn’t be caught dead in outfits too green.
Leave that to the leprechauns
and those who eat green cheese with their prawns.
Amadeus was picking magic mushrooms off the lawn
while 3-headed guard dog Cerberus did watch and yawn,
Angry Hades or Pluto shouted,
Now, Brussels sprouts have sprouted
And ferryman Charon just sat and pouted.
And so on this night in Sleepy Hollow,
It was Renfield’s 10th can he did swallow,
Ah, said he, Sherrielock’s beer is so divine,
these mushroom ingredients taste so fine,
And I can act as if I’ve lost my mind.
Sherrielock Holmes approached wearing black mask and carrying a black whip,
She also wore black lipstick on her lip,
And had one stern black gloved hand upon her hip,
She wore black leather skirt and black fishnet nylons,
With her stilettos, she kicked over construction pylons.
Along came Headless Horesman riding with pumpkin head,
Sherrie whipped him off his horse and he fell to ground quite dead.
Ichabod Crane said, “The world has gone topsy turvy,”
as he looked at Sherrielock’s corseted top so curvy.
Ichabod got to Hell out of there
as Renfield dropped his underwear
and Sherrielock whipped his bottom so pink
that his lower cheeks turned red like lines on a hockey rink.
I think I got Renfield’s porno pay-per-view channel by mistake,
said Amadeus as he ate mushrooms that turned him into a flake
He used an autumn leaf for a remote control to change the channel
when he suddenly got beamed by a wooden panel
for a witch on a broomstick collided with a window
as otters in a nearby stream chased after a minnow.
For it was Halloween in Sleepy Hollow
where chaos ruled the land as statue succumbs to winged swallow.
So beware of magic mushrooms on this Halloween night
for your bottom the next morning will look quite the sight.
-A Halloween poem
written by Christopher
Friday October 30th
2015.
Halloween Haiku
Halloween Haiku
Work the graveyard shift
in graveyard All Hallow’s Eve
DEAD tired by dawn
The Head On The Wall In The Borneo Bar and Grill
The Head On The Wall In The Borneo Bar and Grill
There was a head on the wall in the Borneo Bar and Grill
looking at it made people want to take a pill
A real authentic head from Borneo said the owner
which made it a head without a boner
so the head was all
making him not tall
the man whose head it was
beheaded by his head-hunting ‘coz
and so it happened on a dark and stormy night
the sort of evening that’s designed to fright
that the customers sat there
and the head without hair
decided to come to life
causing much strife
biting the head off someone’s wife
he attached his head to her body
the look was somewhat gaudy
for there were no transgendered types in this redneck town
seeing one would have caused many to frown
the head decided he didn’t like it either
so it grabbed a sharp screwdriver
and used it to behead the bartender
putting an end to some drunk’s bender
he attached his skull to this new corpse
causing the drunk to metamorpse
and the drunk left
feeling quite bereft
he swore off drink and joined AA
became a sober farmer making hay
but as for the rest of the crowd in the bar
all searched for their keys to the car
but the head and the bartender’s body were swift
it grabbed an axe in a jiff
and quickly beheaded all
moving fast from wall to wall
good thing that carpet wasn’t ordered
as the blood on the wood floor chortled
it would have made for quite the steam cleaning bill
as it was the videotaped crime scene made for quite the Internet thrill.
-A Halloween poem
written by Christopher
Thursday evening
October 23rd
2014.
Halloween Trick For All Time
Halloween Trick For All Time
It was the night of Halloween
there stood the Pirate Queen
on the deck of a ship of ghosts
where heads decorated the masting posts.
The ship’s captain was a vampire
lust for blood was his desire.
Into port they sailed
as whalers wailed
for no whale was in sight
here on this night of fright.
The ghostly crew leapt on to shore
in search of mere mortals galore
but the sights they encountered on the streets
caused their undead hearts to skip some beats.
For there were ghosts and ghouls
princes, jesters and fools
all were out walking
and zombies were talking
the werewolves were mocking
a vampiress’ stocking
for it was hole- y unholy pantyhose
“This town is undead,” the saying arose.
The ghostly crew returned to their ship
carrying their gold and not leaving a tip.
For there was no service in this town
not a mere mortal was around.
For the ship of ghosts it was Fate’s trick sublime
they had landed at the wrong time
for tonight mortals had dressed up as ghouls
turning the ship of ghosts into the ship of fools
for they had landed at Halloween
now on deck weeps the Pirate Queen.
-A Halloween poem
written by Christopher
Thursday October 31st
2013
