Harvey Tallbanger Takes On Europe’s Totalitarian Despots

February 26, 2021 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“U.S. President Joe Beijing O’ Biden has ordered his first military airstrike on Syria which was carried out earlier today.
For all those lib-leftists out there who thought Joe Biden wasn’t going to be a warmonger (or thought he wouldn’t detain immigrant children in detention camps), they were of course invariably wrong as anyone with common sense could have easily told them.”
-Renfield R. Renfield MP

“Liberalism is the modern and morbid habit of always sacrificing the normal to the abnormal.”
-G.K. Chesterton

“The New Normal that most politicians, technocrats and Satan worshipping billionaires and bishops are always yapping about for the post-pandemic world is actually the Old Abnormal.”
-Renfield R. Renfield MP

British MP Renfield R. Renfield, Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague and Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster were at Set Enterprises laboratories in London flipping through various news channels on the TV.

The first news segment showed German Chancellor Angela Merkel saying that there was unanimous agreement within the European Union on implementing a coronavirus vaccine passport.

Ms. Merkel announced that “everyone agreed that we need a digital vaccination certificate” and that such a system could be implemented by summer.

As Ms. Merkel spoke, an Adolf Hitler style moustache appeared just below her nose and just above her lips.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared on her forehead written in red and black ink.

Seconds later a cream pie was thrown in her face.

The second news segment came on.

European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen announced that EU member states will “have to act fast” in order to implement a digital vaccine certification program as soon as the summer.

The certificate will facilitate travel as well as the ability to attend churches, synagogues, theatres, concert halls or even to go to the gym.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared on Ms. von der Leyen’s forehead written in red ink.

Seconds later, a cream pie was thrown in her face.

Greece’s Deputy Prime Minister Akis Skertsos then appeared on the TV screen and said that a vaccine passport verification system “is not discriminatory at all”.

The words I AM THE BIGGEST OF SATAN’S USEFUL IDIOTS then appeared written in Greek in green felt ink on his forehead.

Seconds later a souvlaki cream pie was thrown in his face.

British Education Secretary Gavin Williamson then appeared on the TV screen saying that he backed up the plan to carry passports to enter restaurants, cinemas and theatres.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared in red ink written on his forehead.

Seconds later a cream pie containing a school report card loaded with F’s for each subject was then thrown in his face.

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson then appeared on the TV screen.

Hanging from one of his long scraggly locks of hair over his right ear was a thorougly eaten fried chicken drum stick (from a rooster who was sacrificed in a live Santeria animal sacrifice).

Johnson said that Brits might definitely require health passports for simple domestic visits like going to the pub or theatre.

Johnson, who had the sign KICK ME posted on his backside by the ghost of Winston Churchill, then went on, “I know fervent libertarians will object but other people will think that there is a case for it.”

The ghosts of Adolf Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and the two deceased members of the North Korean Kim Communist hereditary dynasty appeared behind Johnson smiling and applauding vigourously.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST AND MY HAIRSTYLIST RESIDES IN HELL appeared written in black ink on Boris Johnson’s forehead.

Seconds later a banana cream steak and kidney pie containing hair gel and a comb were then thrown in Johnson’s face.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 26th
2021

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Semiramis Recalls Harvey Tallbanger

February 18, 2021 at 11:17 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Semiramis the immortal Queen of Babylon in the back of an automobile with Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir

The lecherous old leech Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir had picked Semiramis up outside the British Houses of Parliament.

He had told the immortal Queen that he had rented the entire London Philharmonic Orchestra for her to give them their own private concert.

He had instructed the chauffeur to drive them to the Royal Albert Hall.

Of course there would be no London Philharmonic Orchestra waiting there.

Instead the “never say die” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was hoping to make out with Semiramis in one of the auditorium seats.

He had always wanted to do that with some woman.

The only trouble was there was usually always an event of some sort at the Royal Albert Hall.

However these times of Covid had put an end to such events.

And Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was hoping to take advantage of this opportunity.

As Lord Frolic’s car drove through the streets of London, they passed by the ghosts of Orson Welles and Winston Churchill.

“Rita,” Orson’s ghost called out for Semiramis looked very much like Orson’s late ex-wife Rita Hayworth.

“I do believe,” Churchill was smoking a spectral cigar, “that is Semiramis the immortal Queen of Babylon although the resemblance she bears to your ex-wife is quite remarkable. I met Semiramis once at the Tehran Conference in 1943. I remember she kicked Josef Stalin in the testicles when he got too fresh with her. Which made our talk (Churchill’s, Roosevelt’s and Stalin’s) of opening up a second front against Germany by June 1944 all the more amusing.”

The car continued to drive down the street leaving Welles looking mournful and Churchill looking reflective.

The car then stopped at a traffic light at an intersection where British Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab was standing likewise waiting for the light to change.

This past Sunday Raab had said that the British government should consider having UK citizens carry vaccine passports in order to enter such places as supermarkets.

As he stood there, a cream pie was thrown in his face by a seemingly invisible entity.

Meanwhile inside the car:

Semiramis (looking thoughtful): I have the feeling I’ve seen that rabbit somewhere before.

Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was somewhat startled by this assertion, “You see a rabbit out there?”.

“Yes,” Semiramis nodded, “a 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.”

“Really?” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was starting to wonder whether his date for this evening was clinically insane, “And when did you last see him?”.

“Several thousand years ago when my husband Nimrod first proposed building the Tower of Babel,” Semiramis recalled, “That rabbit threw a cream pie in Nimrod’s face.”

“Cream pies have been around that long?” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was surprised.

“Yes, for as long as that rabbit has,” Semiramis nodded.

. . .

The little green frog Nimrod (who had been the Biblical Nimrod- “the mighty hunter against the Lord” – way back in the day) was sitting on a patient’s couch in the office of London psychiatrist Dr. Morgana Jones.

Nimrod had been turned into a little green frog some years ago when a kiss from the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith went awry.

“So, Mr. Nimrod,” Dr. Morgana Jones, with pen and notepad in hand, addressed the frog, “How long have you been afraid of cream pies?”.

“For several thousand years now,” Nimrod answered, “Ever since a very tall purple bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears threw a cream pie in my face after I proposed building a tower that could reach the heavens.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 18th
2021.

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Renfield Reads Yet Another Radio News Broadcast

February 9, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Yet another BBC news broadcastor had been gunned down in the ongoing conflict between Neo-Stalinist Neo-Bolsheviks and Neo-Trotskyite Neo-Bolsheviks in the BBC news room in the ongoing conflict to see who wins control of the coming Neo-Bolshevik Neo-Communist New World Order that the oligarchical technocrats of the world had dubbed the Great Reset with its idiotic slogan “Build back better”.

As such British MP Renfield R. Renfield had been asked asked to read the news as BBC Radio News’ ratings always went up whenever Renfield read the news.

The British NHS (National Health Service) had listed the news broadcastor’s death as being caused by Covid rather than gunshot wounds in accordance with WHO (World Health Organization) regulations.

Renfield read the news with his own ad lib nouns and descriptions, “In other news the Communist Pope of Boneheaded Slogans aka Francis says that human trafficking is caused by living in the “wrong type of economy” a profoundly stupid analysis that was apparently overlooked by the likes of Adam Smith, Karl Marx, John Maynard Keynes and John Kenneth Galbraith…”

Renfield went on, “And the church closing Archbishop of Dublin Ireland says that the drastic incease in knife attacks the past few years in the rapidly Islamized immigrant Ireland can probably be blamed on a lack of empathy among the population. So the next time you’re in Ireland and someone stabs you to death with a big knife, you can hurl at them your dying last words, “Hey, you didn’t show much empathy for me…”.

Not listening to Renfield’s news broadcast was UK Health Secretary Matt Hancock who was holding a press conference announcing prison terms of up to 10 years for some people who do not follow UK Covid guidelines.

As he was speaking, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST suddenly appeared on his forehead in red and black lettering.

Moments later, a steaming hot spaghetti and banana cream pie was thrown in his face.

“Wow, Gillian,” Harold called out to his wife as he was sitting there drinking a Harvey Wallbanger and watching the telly, “Did you see what that really tall purple bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears just did?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Tuesday February 9th
2021.

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Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Prototype Teleporter

February 8, 2021 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had recently come in possession of a stash of Russian vodka that Naina Yeltsina had hidden from her husband the late former Russian President Boris Yeltsin.

Because of course if Yeltsin had found them, they’d all be drunk by now.

Renfield had invited Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague over to help sample them.

“So, what are you up to these days?” Renfield asked as he poured the glasses of vodka.

“I’m watching Dr. Cadbury Rocher build a prototype teleporter,” Montague answered.

“Teleporter?” Renfield looked quizzical, “You mean like Captain Kirk and the U.S.S. Enterprise and “Beam me up, Scotty” and all that?”.

“Exactly,” Montague nodded, “But at this stage, he’s not testing it on mortal humans just yet.”

“You mean he’s not like Big Pharma that’s boldly going ahead where no experimental vaccines have gone before and rolling out the newfangled mRNA vaccines that have skipped a whole bunch of phases of testing and experimentation using a new type of vaccine that’s never been used in the history of science and yet governments and so-called health “experts” are telling us that these vaccines are perfectly safe giving them a level of omniscience that the medieval Scholastic philosophers had previously ascribed to God?” Renfield queried.

“No, he’s not like Big Pharma,” Montague acknowledged.

“So, who’s he using to test his protype teleporter?” Renfield asked.

“A supernatural creature,” Montague answered.

“What type of supernatural creature?” Renfield queried, “It couldn’t be an angel, fallen angel, demon or fairie since they already know how to teleport.”

“Let’s watch the TV news and see,” Montague put on the telly.

There was a clip of former British Prime Minister Tony Blair telling a press conference that all the citizens of the planet must have a vaccine passport and if they don’t have one, they shouldn’t be allowed to travel or be allowed to enter an establishment or place of business or restaurant.

As Blair was talking, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST was written on his forehead in black felt ink.

The scene then switched to narcissistic self-proclaimed demi-god Bill Gates (who because he wasn’t Donald Trump his narcissism was totally overlooked by the brainless mainstream Marxist media in the western world as well as other assholes).

Gates smiled orgiastically, “And people may have to get new Covid vaccines year after year, decade after decade, century after century.
Waaahhahahaaaaa!”.

He broke into great gales of uber-DoctorFrankensteinian laughter.

Suddenly the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST was written on his forehead in red felt ink.

Suddenly a slide showing the Georgia Guidestones inscription that read MAINTAIN HUMANITY UNDER 500,000,000 IN PERPETUAL BALANCE WITH NATURE was projected on to the screen behind Gates.

Then an audio recording of Bill Gates saying, “Way hey! Ho! Ho! 7.5 billion people have to go!” was then played.

The neo-Hitlerian eugenicist Gates then went beserk.

“Someone take down that slide and someone put an end to that audio recording,” Gates foamed at the mouth and then fell over backwards with his head spinning around like Linda Blair in Fast/Forward mode.

Dr. Anthony Fauci at his press conference smiled pompously and smugly and idiotically in a manner that only impressed those who were on the Left of the political spectrum across the globe.

As Fauci once again gave another one of his condescending lectures that sent members of The Washington Post and The New York Times into paroxysms of masturbation from which they might never recover, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST suddenly appeared on his forehead written in red and black felt ink.

Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the CCP’s stooge at the helm of WHO (World Health Organization) decided to cancel his press conference when he saw what happened at the other press conferences.

He rushed out to his limousine as TV cameras followed him.

The TV cameras captured him getting hit in the face with a coconut cream pie thrown at him by some invisible entity.

“So, I take it this supernatural creature testing the prototype teleporter for Dr. Rocher is a 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit invisible to mortals?” Renfield finished his glass of vodka.

“That’s right,” Dr. Marmalade Montague smiled.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 8th
2021.

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Renfield Tackles The Tinpot Dictator Down Under

September 8, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

“The Victoria state government of Premier Daniel Andrews is Australia’s Vichy regime to Xi Jinping’s Thousand Year Reich.
That’s why he imposes despotic draconian lockdowns, sends in riot police (in the manner of Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukasheno) to crush protestors and arrests pregnant women when they voice their dissent with his policies on Facebook.”
-Renfield R. Renfield

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit report on Australia’s Victoria state Premier Daniel Andrews.

The report showed close collusion between the Victoria Labour Party Government of Daniel Andrews in Melbourne and the Chinese Communist Party ever since Daniel Andrews became Premier of Victoria back in 2014.

Victoria Yang a Victoria Labour Party staffer with links to the Chinese Communist Party and a friend of Daniel Andrews’ senior China advisor Marty Mei recently came up with the theory that the U.S. was responsible for creating Covid-19 and was using its army to spread the virus across the globe.

Comrade Dan or Chairman Dan as the Victoria Premier was called had effectively turned Australia’s Victoria state into an economic vassal of Communist China boldly signing up to Xi Jinping’s new Silk Road policy.

Comrade Dan criticized Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s National Government in Canberra for cancelling foreign deals with China.

Lastly the Set Enterprises report noted the similarities in the way Daniel Andrews handled anti-lockdown protests in Melbourne with the way the new Hong Kong Security Law of Xi Jinping’s Hong Kong Police handled protestors in Hong Kong and the way the security forces of Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukashenko handled protestors in Minsk.

Renfield put in a call to the Set Enterprises eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis oil powered dirigible airship The Hooterville Cannonball which was currently flying in the Asia-Pacific region.

Hours later as kangaroos and koala bears stood outside Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews’ office holding signs that read WE DARE CALL IT TREASON,
Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews felt a sharp prick into his buttocks as if some invisible entity was shoving a needle into it.

The needle went through the Josef Stalin walrus moustache that was growing on Andrews’ left buttock and went all the way through narrowly missing the Adolf Hitler moustache that was growing on Andrews’ right testicle.

An SS-Gestapo and KGB style security officer working for Andrews and who had been drinking Harvey Wallbangers on the job said that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who had injected the needle.

The call went out around Melbourne.

In an empty Melbourne movie theatre meanwhile Uncle Ernie had entered it to give a performance as his drag queen altar ego Cumelita.

Sadly there was no one inside and forgetting what day of the year it was, Uncle Ernie thought it was Easter and so he went to his dressing room back stage and put on his Easter Bunny costume.

He exited the theatre where he was immediately thrown to the ground and handcuffed while some Imperial Stormtrooper looking official spoke through a megaphone, “You’re under arrest for assaulting Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews’ buttocks.”

The Easter bunny attired Uncle Ernie was then thrown into the back of a police van and taken to Secret Police Headquarters for interrogation.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 8th
2020.

Vril Society psychic medium Maria Orsic forseeing the events of September 8th 2020 on her Nazi prototype laptop on this date back in 1943.

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Renfield Insults Xi Jinping and Hong Kong’s Police Chief Gets Hemorrhoid Inducing Serum

September 7, 2020 at 10:29 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Over the weekend a 12 year-old-girl in Hong Kong who had gone downtown to buy art supplies found herself in the midst of a protest.

When she ran to get away from the protestors, the Hong Kong Police, anxious to show the world that they were even more stupid and incompetent than the Keystone Cops of silent movie era Keystone Studios fame, ran after her, threw her to the ground with half a dozen cops lying on top of her and handcuffed her and dragged her away in a police van to jail.

The incident reached the ears of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

As China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping (who had just brought in the Hong Kong Security Law this past summer that effectively ended Hong Kong’s freedom and autonomy and made the island effectively part of a one system Chinese Communist totalitarian state) sat down at his computer, his computer had been hacked by the Set Enterprises Intelligence Team Unit.

There on his computer screen was a smiling Renfield R. Renfield who sat there playing his guitar and singing a song,

“Hey Xi Jinping, you’re a loser,
you’re a 12-year-old girl abuser,
I guess you think you’re 10 feet tall
Even though your homegrown chopstick is so small,
The Heaven above is displeased with you,
That’s why summer snow has been falling too
Letting you know your reign will be through
after India’s army kicked your ass so blue…”

A livid Xi Jinping put in a phone call to his Ministry of State Security and demanded they assassinate Renfield R. Renfield.

Meanwhile in Hong Kong, the Hong Kong Commissioner of Police Chris Ping-keung Tang had felt a sharp injection in his buttocks earlier today.

One of his assistants (who had been drinking way too many Harvey Wallbangers) said that the culprit was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

As the all points bulletin and call went out among the Hong Kong Police Force to be on the lookout for a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears, the mostly sober (but nevertheless still incompetent) Hong Kong police were unable to spot him.

As for the injection, it was a serum invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher that would tie the Hong Kong Commissioner of Police for 1st place along with Vladimir Putin in having the worst case of hemorrhoids in all recorded history.

And in Beijing, the Chinese vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (an ally of Renfield R. Renfield) was waiting to put the final touches on a plan to punish Xi Jinping.

Chinese vampiress Mei-ling Manchu

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 7th
2020.

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Alexei Navalny Flown To Germany

August 22, 2020 at 10:17 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Russian Opposition leader Alexei Navalny was flown from Siberia to Berlin, Germany for medical treatment.

Mr. Navalny had fallen ill during a flight from Tomsk Siberia to Moscow this past Thursday.

Disturbing video shot on the plane showed Mr. Navalny howling in agony on the flight before he collapsed into a coma.

His supporters believe that a cup of tea he drank at a Tomsk airport cafe had been poisoned.

The plane made an emergency landing in Omsk Siberia where Mr. Navalny was taken to hospital.

Mr. Navalny’s personal physician Anastasia Vasilieva was not allowed to see him while he was in hospital in Russia.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield speculated that it was because doctors at the hospital in Omsk were trying to cover up traces that Mr. Navalny had indeed been poisoned and doing so on the Kremlin’s orders.

Doctors at the hospital in Omsk on Friday spent most of the day twiddling their thumbs when it came to signing paper work to fly Mr. Navalny to Germany.

Finally early Saturday morning Mr. Navalny was granted permission by Omsk doctors to leave and a medical evacuation flight paid for by the German organization Cinema For Peace landed the Russian Opposition leader at Tegel airport in Berlin where he was taken to the German capital’s Charite Hospital for treatment.

Mr. Navalny’s possible poisoning was only one in a long string of poisonings done to Mr. Putin’s opponents over the years, Mr. Renfield pointed out.

Alexander Litvinenko an FSB defector had been poisoned by radioactive polonium-210 in London, England back in November 2006.

Sergei Skripal (a GRU officer who defected to the UK) and his daughter Yulia were poisoned with a Russian developed Novichok nerve agent in March 2018.

Unlike Mr. Litvinenko who died, the Skripals recovered from their poisoning.

Although a UK citizen exposed to the nerve agent during the Skripal poisoning died.

The Russian Foreign Ministry always denied that the Russian state was responsible for the poisoning of Mr. Putin’s opponents with the same vigour that the Washington Post, New York Times, CNN, MSNBC and Global News Canada disinformation branches of the New World Order Ministry of Propoganda denied that those rioting, looting and burning in various inner cities across the U.S. were anything but “peaceful protestors”.

Renfield told his parliamentary colleague the Welsh vampiress Morgana that he had already made his move against Putin for the latest poisoning of one of the Russian leader’s political opponents.

“Mr. Putin seems to fancy himself more of a Byzantine Emperor than a Russian Czar,” Renfield explained to Morgana, “since that seemed to be the favourite method used by Byzantine Emperors for doing in their opponents- poisoning.”

Meanwhile in Moscow as a Harvey Wallbanger drinking Kremlin guard was removed from duty for claiming that a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears and holding a hypodermic needle syringe in his upper right paw was wandering the Kremlin halls, minutes later Vladimir Putin suddenly experienced a sharp sensation in his buttocks as if he was jabbed there.

Renfield later spoke to his friend Amadeus Emanon via Skype, “Did I tell you that Dr. Cadbury Rocher has developed a serum that when injected into a person’s buttocks can give that person the worst case of hemmorhoids in all recorded history?”.

“What’s the purpose of that?” Amadeus asked as he ate a hard boiled egg.

Meanwhile in the Kremlin, Vladimir Putin started screaming his head off when he tried to sit down.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 22nd
2020.

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An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

June 2, 2020 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

Monsieur Philippe Geoffrei Gaston a TV reporter for France 24 Live (which is France’s 24/7¬†international news TV channel) was interviewing British MP Renfield R. Renfield to get a British perspective on Britain leaving the EU.

Renfield was eating malt vinegar covered Fish and Chips wrapped in the Times of London newspaper, drinking brown ale and eating gulab jamun for dessert which as the British MP told the French journalist would definitely be considered the most typical British cuisine in the year 2020.

“Boris Johnson says he wants a final deal between Britain and the EU before December 31st of this year or otherwise it’s a no deal Brexit,” Gaston noted, “Do you think a final deal is possible before that date?”.

“No, it will probably turn out to be a no deal Brexit,” Renfield wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“And why is that?” Gaston asked.

“Because the Europeans are so unreasonable about everything,” Renfield lit a cigar.

“Well,” Gaston frowned, “as a Brit waving good-bye to Europe, what do you think would be the best thing to happen to Europe?”.

“The best thing to happen to Europe is if a Bourbon once again sat on a restored French throne, a Hapsburg sat on a restored Austro-Hungarian throne and a Romanov sat on a restored Russian Czarist throne,” Renfield answered, as with his heavy cigar smoke, he set fire to a small bookshelf behind him on which sat three books entitled respectively The Legacy of The French Revolution, The Legacy of Woodrow Wilson and The Legacy of Lenin.

Startled by this answer, Monsieur Gaston with his cigarette accidentally set fire to the small French tricoloured flag that sat on his desk.

The interview came to an abrupt end and Renfield was then interviewed by a BBC reporter.

Towards the end of that interview, Renfield was asked by the BBC reporter Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys on whether or not Bill Gates could be the Antichrist.

“No, Bill Gates is far too bland, boring and nerdy to be the Antichrist,” Renfield answered, “his vaccine implant tracking system could pave the way for the Antichrist’s Mark of The Beast system so in that way Gates could be a forerunner. But Gates just doesn’t have that necessary cool to be the Antichrist. Lucifer is not only intelligent but also an artist who likes to dazzle with his beauty. So Gates doesn’t quite cut the mustard. Although he most likely does cut the cheese.”

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys was quite taken aback by this answer.

Humphreys’ assistant, a man dressed in a British army captain’s uniform and wearing a peacock mask over his face, enters the room where the BBC reporter is livestreaming, “Are you free, Mr. Humphreys? We’d like you to look at some video footage of Donald Trump getting a cream pie in the face thrown by an invisible entity while Trump was surrounded by Evil Empire Stormtrooper looking Military Police as black military helicopters were hovering overhead in the background. One of our video technicians, who in my opinion has been drinking far too many Harvey Wallbangers on the job, claims that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who did it. We’d like your opinion.”

“Not now,” Humphreys foamed, “I’m busy interviewing Renfield. Ask Mr. Lucas.”

“Mr. Lucas, are you free?” The peacock masked wearing army captain ran down the hall.

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys turned back to Renfield.

“So you think the Antichrist will be an artist?” Humphreys inquired.

“Yes, it will be a scientific technocratic world state that the Antichrist will be running,” Renfield answered, “But the Antichrist won’t come across as being a scientific technocrat himself as those of a strictly scientific technocratic personality are generally quite bland and boring. Most people would probably prefer being beheaded rather than pledging fealty to or offering worship to such a personality. However someone who is quite artistic and flamboyant the people would have no problem following or even worshipping. The Mexican artist Diego Rivera asked Leon Trotsky in 1938 who he thought would genuinely win the most popularity in a worldwide election if one were held, Hitler or Stalin? And Trotsky answered Hitler because Stalin too much acted the stiff technocratic scientific socialist in his personality and demeanour (unlike the smiling demeanour that Stalin was portrayed as having in Soviet art propaganda) whereas Hitler had the dramatic showmanship of an artist and could easily capture people’s emotions and feelings.”

. . .

Outside the CERN Large Hadron Collider Tunnel in Switzerland, the demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were having a picnic.

Nimrod was adding black flies to a sandwich while Asmodeus was lighting a cigarette.

A hundreds of meters tall creature with an octopus head, the wings of a dragon and the body of a human with webbed looking human arms and legs emerged from the tunnel.

“Isn’t that Cthulhu the High Priest of the Great Old Ones and the Sleeper of R’lyeh coming out of the tunnel?” Nimrod asked.

“I believe it is,” Asmodeus put on his monocle to look.

Cthulhu was followed by an elk.

“Isn’t that an elk?” Nimrod put peanut butter and jam on his black flies.

Asmodeus struggled between lighting his cigarette and putting his monocle on his right eye again, “I believe it is.”

“What’s Cthulhu doing emerging from the CERN tunnel with an elk?” Nimrod wanted to know.

“Well, I wouldn’t go down that rabbit hole if I were you,” Asmodeus was trying to decide between buffalo gryphon’s wings or teriyaki gryphon’s wings from his KFC Hybrids Bucket.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 2nd
2020.

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Sanhedrin Say Performing Passover Sacrifice Can End Covid-19 Pandemic

April 6, 2020 at 10:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, magic, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Sanhedrin Say Performing Passover Sacrifice Can End Covid-19 Pandemic

At a press conference today dealing with how the New Zealand government is battling the Coronavirus pandemic, New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced that she had declared both “the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny are essential workers” and that the children of New Zealand should not be worried that the pair are at all affected by the pandemic.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, watching the New Zealand Prime Minister’s press conference on television, remarked, “Jacinda must have finally smoked that complimentary piece of legalized Canadian cannabis that I sent her.”

. . .

Barbados Prime Minister Mia Mottely was forced to announce that 20 ventilators destined for Barbados as part of an act of philanthropy pledged by Barbados born international pop star Rihanna were seized by the United States.

Shortly after Prime Minister Mottely’s announcement, U.S. President Donald Trump was sitting at his desk in the Oval Office when he was suddenly hit with a cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity.

“What’s with all these cream pies in the face lately?” Trump cried out, “And to top it off, it was laced with Mexican tacos and salsa sauce and guacamole cream. I hate anything Mexican.”

Trump then had Corona beer poured all over him by the same invisible entity.

“Now I’ve been hit by Corona,” Trump cried out.

Men wearing hazmat suits then entered the Oval Office and carried Trump off to a place where he could be quarantined.

. . .

Rihanna was social distancing at a closed astronomical observatory and livestreaming on line.

It was nighttime and as she sang, “Shine bright like a diamond… We’re like diamonds in the sky”, a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit holding a magic lantern film projector (that had been worked on by Houdini, Pantages, Nikola Tesla, Orson Welles and Hedy Lamarr) making him visible to people without them needing to drink Harvey Wallbangers, appeared peering through the glass at the top of the open air telescope and waved at the livestream viewing audience.

. . .

The Israeli Sanhedrin has petitioned both Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and U.S. President Donald Trump to allow the Passover Sacrifice to occur on the Temple Mount.

The Pesach sacrifice has not taken place on the Temple Mount in nearly 2000 years.

“The only thing preventing the Jewish people from performing the Passover sacrifice is the Israeli government,” Rabbi Hillel Weiss the spokesman for the Sanhedrin said.

Added Rabbi Weiss, “We are proposing bringing a temporary altar for one day to sacrifice one lamb for the entire Jewish nation.”

Dov Stein the Secretary to the Court of the Sanhedrin in Jerusalem Israel had written a letter to both Benjamin Netanyahu and Donald Trump asking for the ceremony to be performed.

Stein wrote in his letter to both men that if the sacrifice of the Passover lamb occurred in the spring feast beginning at sundown on Wednesday April 8th 2020 or Nisan 14th 5780 (Hebrew calendar), this would put an end to the Covid-19 pandemic that was currently a modern day plague on humanity.

. . .

Meanwhile in the intensive care unit of a U.S. Naval Hospital, Donald Trump was protesting that, unlike Britain’s Prime Minister Boris Johnson, he did not have the Coronavirus.

Meanwhile a creature who did not have a head but had the arms and torso of a man and had two slithering serpents for legs was running around the Donald’s bed.

The creature finally went under the bed and re-emerged with the head of a rooster that it then put on its human torso’s shoulders.

“You must forgive me for running around like a chicken with its head cut off,” the rooster headed creature apologized, “But that’s exactly what happened. Pan Goatee who had taken too many of the notorious Australian Uncle Ernie’s Chemicals of The Day thought I was an ugly looking woman and so cut my head off.”

“Who the Hell are you?” Trump asked.

“I’m the ancient Gnostic god Abraxas,” the creature replied, “And I want you to tell Netanyahu that he should allow the Sanhedrin to go ahead with its Passover Pascal lamb sacrifice this coming Wednesday.”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday April 6th
2020.

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Palm Sunday In A Dangerous Time

April 5, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Palm Sunday In A Dangerous Time

At Our Lady of Victories Church in Quezon City, Philippines, palm branches were being blessed and distributed to worshippers outside the Church to mark Palm Sunday.

Meanwhile in America, numerous members of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops were telling laity to wave cactus plants (minus the plant holder containers they’re in for safety’s sake) rather than palm branches in the privacy of their homes if they feel so reactionarily inclined (pre-Vatican II) to celebrate Palm Sunday.

Woman: I’ve got several cactus needles stuck in my thumb and fingers.

Dante wisely put many of the bishops of his day in Hell in the volume entitled Inferno of his Divine Comedy.

A vast number of bishops haven’t really changed much in 700 years.

Cardinal Joseph William Tobin the Bishop of Newark New Jersey (who unbeknownst to him already had a reserved barbecue spit reserved for him down in the Inferno unless he truly repented of his pro-Baal and Baphomet inclined sins) had decreed that there was to be no distribution of palms whatsoever in his diocese.

As he left his house to jog (while still thinking of his male Italian fashion model companion who was a very close friend indeed), a cream pie was thrown in his face by an invisible entity.

As news of the pie creaming got out, Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Director-General of the WHO who was recovering in a hospital emergency room after a pie creaming of his own, wondered, “I wonder if his cream pie was laced with chop suey and sweet and sour spareribs like mine was? I never got a chance to read the fortune cookie that was placed in it because one of the PPE N-95 face mask wearing paramedics threw it away.”

On the radio in the emergency room, an old Lone Ranger radio program was being played and the announcer asked, “Who was that masked man?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 5th
2020.

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