The Tallbanger Scene

March 26, 2021 at 9:57 pm (Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

1921 Hollywood.

The director Charles William Lewis was directing a scene.

A strange looking man Count Nosferatu had recently approached him about directing a vampire film- an adaptation of Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula.

Lewis had agreed.

And today he would be shooting the scene where Count Nosferatu bites two young women.

Unbeknownst to Lewis, Count Nosferatu was working as an operative for the Soviet Commisar of War Leon Trotsky.

Trotsky was fascinated by the Count Nosferatu’s power of hypnosis.

He was wondering if this hypnotic power could come across via this new medium of film.

If someone like Nosferatu could hypnotize movie audiences and say… make them all Communist in their thinking, it would certainly be a new warfare tactic.

Trotsky would try this experiment in the greatest bastion of capitalism in the world- the United States of America.

And thus Nosferatu went to America.

To Hollywood.

And to the now long forgotten Charles William Lewis Studios.

But a friend of British politician Winston Churchill had found out about the Trotsky-Count Nosferatu Plan.

And acting on behalf of Churchill, the friend had gone to America.

To Hollywood.

To the now long forgotten Charles William Lewis Studios.

Nosferatu was now about to make his first appearance in the movie to his two young victims.

He found himself hit over the head by a box of carrots and rendered unconscious.

Churchill’s friend then made his own appearance in the movie.

Although he himself could not be seen.

But his shadow could.

The two actresses screamed.

If the film had been shot in colour and Churchill’s friend could actually be seen (and not just his shadow) the camera would have shown a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

Count Nosferatu vanished from history.

Although a German actor named Max Schreck would later play Nosferatu’s persona in an F.W. Murnau directed German Expressionist film released a year later in 1922.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 26th
2021.

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Cleopatra, Maitreya and Yaldabaoth On Saint Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, magic, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It was Saint Patrick’s Day 2021.

And Yaldabaoth was on a bridge overlooking the River Liffey in Dublin, Ireland.

The night before he had been in a psychiatrist’s office at Saint Raphael’s Hospital in London.

The session was to help him overcome his drinking problem.

But judging from the amount of Guinness he had drunk on this Saint Patrick’s Day Evening in Dublin, it was obviously going to take more than one session.

“Yaldabaoth,” the man named Peter Whitstable (whose unofficial title was the Fox Mulder of Interpol) greeted him.

“What are you doing here in Dublin?” Yaldabaoth asked, “Do you have some more cloak and dagger work for me to do?”.

The leprechaun put on a green cloak and then pulled a green jade dagger out of one of his green socks and put it in his green belt.

“As you know the past dozen years, the Irish government has become increasingly made up of Apostles of the Antichrist,” Whitstable noted.

“I imagine Saint Paddy is not too pleased with that,” Yaldabaoth drank his Guinness, “Is Harvey Tallbanger the invisible (to mortals) bunny rabbit here to throw green algae cream pies in their faces?”.

“Most likely yes to your first statement and I don’t know to your second,” Whitstable answered, “I do know most leading members of the Irish government have taken an oath of allegiance to a hidden and secret High King of Ireland.”

“And who is this hidden and secret High King of Ireland?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Maitreya a golden cobra serpent supernatural entity from the Himalayan region of Tibet and Nepal,” Whitstable replied.

“Oh yes, he did have himself crowned High King of Ireland at the Hill of Tara back on Saint Patrick’s Day in 2018,” Yaldabaoth wiped his runny nose with a green handkerchief, “I believe he had crowned Queen Cleopatra VII Philopator of Egypt (whom he had resurrected from the dead) his High Queen as well.

“Exactly,” Whitstable nodded, “Cleopatra is currently staying at a hotel here in Dublin.”

“What hotel?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“This one,” Whitstable handed the leprechaun a card with the hotel address on it, “I want you to get her photograph for my Interpol files. We do not have a photo of the living Cleopatra.”

“Seeing as how she’s been dead since the 1st Century BC and was only resurrected 4 years ago, I can see why,” Yaldabaoth nodded, “I imagine Saint Paddy is probably ticked that not only has a serpent returned to Ireland (he having driven the serpents out of Ireland) but is further ticked that a serpent has crowned himself High King of Ireland.”

“I would imagine,” Whitstable agreed.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, U.S. President Joe Beijing O’ Biden asked one of his aides why one of the White House fountains was green.

“You ordered it dyed green for Saint Patrick’s Day,” his aide answered.

“I did?” Biden scratched his head, “Is it Saint Patrick’s Day?”.

The aide nodded.

“Then why is my desk cactus dressed as Santa Claus, why is my dog dressed like the Easter Bunny and why is Hunter dressed like a crack pipe smoking Great Pumpkin?” Biden inquired.

Meanwhile back in Dublin, Ireland, Yaldabaoth entered the hotel room where Cleopatra was staying.

He carried in his hands a black and white film camera that had once belonged to film director Orson Welles when he was alive.

Yaldabaoth entered Cleopatra’s bedroom and snapped a photo.

Cleopatra the former Queen of Egypt and current High Queen of Ireland

After snapping the photo, Yaldabaoth gasped, “My God, that’s a killer outfit you’re wearing.”

He then fell over dead.

“Jesus,” an Irish Jesuit priest, who was recently defrocked by his superior for being straight and heterosexual, remarked as he walked by the open door in the hallway.

“Oh, the void, the void,” a spider, who had recently come in contact with radioactive material in a science lab, remarked as he crawled by.

“This looks like a job for Dr. Marmalade Montague and his Hendrick’s Gin Dunking Machine,” Harvey Tallbanger commented as he walked by and noticed Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun lying dead at Cleopatra’s spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes feet.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 17th
2021.

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Metropolitan London Policeman Sells Soul To Devil To Protect Himself From Renfield

March 14, 2021 at 10:30 pm (Crime, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was trying to get a piece of Canadian cannabis (sent to him as a gift from Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau) out of his messy hair.

One of Johnson’s aides approached him, “Mr. Johnson, there are a few demons in the same prison cell as Wayne Couzens the Metropolitan Police Officer charged with the kidnapping and murder of Sarah Everard the 33-year-old woman who vanished March 3rd while walking home in London. The woman whose body was found a week later.”

“And what are demons doing in the same prison cell as Wayne Couzens?” Johnson used a garden rake to try to comb last year’s dandelions out of his hair.

“To protect him from British MP Renfield R. Renfield,” Johnson’s aide answered.

“To protect him from Renfield?” Johnson started eating some Ritz crackers he pulled out of his hair.

“Yes, Couzens found out about what Renfield has done to members of the ISIS Islamic Sate as well as immigrant smugglers (who smuggle immigrants in inhuman conditions such as overcrowded refrigerated tractor trailors), human traffickers and sex traffickers. None of those people have ever been found alive again who have fallen into Renfield’s hands and rumours of their demise at Renfield’s hands are the stuff of the worst sort of nightmares among terrorists and human traffickers,” the aide explained, “So Couzens feared that the only one who could provide him protection from Renfield was the Devil so he sold his soul to him.”

“I must keep that in mind someday,” Johnson pulled his smart phone out of his hair and started checking to see if he had the Devil’s phone number.

Last night members of the Metropolitan London Police Force had roughed up, arrested and manhandled a whole bunch of women who were holding a memorial vigil for Sarah Everard.

Today there were calls for Cressida Dick the first ever woman police commissioner of the Metropolitan London Police to resign following her police force’s manhandling of the women attending the vigil.

Cressida Dick naturally rejected calls for her resignation.

Today there were large numbers of people tuning in to Renfield’s Sunday night podcast.

Renfield began, “You know prior to this pandemic before an unseen stupidity virus descended upon most of the world’s population and most people started believing everything their governments and their so-called “health experts” started telling them, most people called the common cold the common cold. But what did scientists and science geeks and science nerds (who always fancied themselves as superior to the rest of the population only to get the raspberry they so richly deserve from those geniuses who truly excel in the arts and humanities such as myself) call the common cold? They called it the corona virus. However the term corona virus still didn’t impress the general population during the pandemic as they all seem to have been terrified by the number of people testing positive for the corona virus in 2020.
Which had they tested for the cornona virus in years prior to 2020, there would still have been high results.
As the common cold was the ongoing ailment all the time.
And the common cold if not taken care of properly could always lead to things such as pneumonia.
The common cold could always prove disastrous for those suffering from pre-existing conditions and those having ailments that already affect their immunity.
The only thing different about the 2020 corona virus (or the common cold as it used to be commonly called before the 2020 pandemic) was the tweaking it received from mad scientists doing experiments with bats at the Wuhan Institute of Virology.
And thus the CCP Wuhan virus did have more devastating effects on the vulnerable than did the common cold of previous years.
And often the manner of death was more horrible than the usual common cold produced pneumonia or other ailments.
Now we have several different vaccines for the Covid-19 virus (the CCP tweaked version of the common cold) and those vaccines have produced almost 12,000 deaths across the world in the 10 weeks since those vaccines have first been introduced. Ask yourself what other product in recorded history has produced 12,000 deaths in a 10 week period and yet governments and “experts” and Big Pharma companies are still busy telling people these products are safe to take?
Now the Metropolitan London Police are telling us that their manhandling of women at last night’s vigil for Sarah Everard is all justified by the Covid health restrictions.
In the past year ever since the CCP puppets at WHO (World Health Organization) proclaimed this pandemic, every Fascist pig, Neo-Bolshevik Communist hydra, totalitatarian despot, mentally unhinged demagogue and all-around asshole have used the Covid health restrictions to trample on civil liberties and freedoms and lock the entire population of the world up in one massive prison planet.
And the members of the Metropolitan London Police are sadly no different than the list of usual suspects I mentioned in my previous statement.
As Lord Acton shrewdly observed back in the 19th Century, “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
And Covid health restrictions have given governments and “health experts” and police forces absolute power.
And they have acted like power mad assholes the past year accordingly.
The trouble is most people are giving them the benefit of doubt when they shouldn’t.
As for Cressida Dick the current Commissioner of the Metropolitan London Police, there’s no better name for her.
Cressida is an appropriate first name for her because as the character of Cressida tells the character of Troilus in William Shakespeare’s play Troilus and Cressida that if she breaks her vow of eternal love for him, then “May the name Cressida represent every woman given to falsehood”.
Of course the Trojan woman Cressida falls for the Greek Diogenes in the play and abandons her vow to Troilus leading to the origin of the expression “as false as Cressida”.
And Dick is an excellent last name for her because she is a dick.
As I speak, Harvey Tallbanger the invisible and very tall bunny rabbit is delivering to her face a cream pie containing a very large dildo.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 14th
2021.

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Renfield Reads Dr. Seuss Books To Children, Comments On Pope Francis and Reflects On Meghan and Prince Harry Interview

March 10, 2021 at 11:56 pm (books, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Television, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield spent the morning reading live on-air to British schoolchildren the 6 books by Dr. Seuss that would no longer be published by Dr. Seuss Enterprises because they were deemed highly offensive, extremely insensitive and politically incorrect by America’s easily offended, psychotically oversensitive and politically correct cancel culture of woke zombies.

After the live-on air reading, Renfield left the studio where he was greeted by a highly irate member of Britain’s own politically correct cancel culture of woke zombies.

“How dare you,” the man foamed at the mouth, “read, as a member of Britain’s House of Commons and therefore a public servant, books that have been deemed cancelled by us the cancel culture?”.

The man regained consciousness several hours later after his face had come into sudden and immediate very close contact with Renfield’s fist.

Renfield went to his parliamentary office where his secretary told him that the U.S. Ambassador to London was once again phoning to complain about the number of times Renfield had referred to U.S. President Joe Biden as an “idiot” and a “senile old fool” the past week.

Renfield had also received a phone call from U.S. actor Tom Hanks’ agent.

In a recent interview, Renfield was asked about Tom Hanks being recently granted Greek citizenship, and the MP replied, quoting a San Francisco blogger he read, “Didn’t Greece recently legalize pedophilia?”.

Renfield went into his inner office where he had a Skype conversation with his good friend Amadeus Emanon who was currently residing in Australia.

“Did you hear,” Amadeus asked, “that Pope Francis was complaining to reporters on the plane ride back from Iraq (reporters all of whom had received the DeathVaxx vaccine in order to be allowed on the plane) that some people call him “an idiot and a heretic”? Did you hear his complaining about that?”.

“I did,’ Renfield lit a cigar.

“Haven’t you on numerous occasions called Pope Francis an idiot and a heretic?” Amadeus inquired.

“I have,” Renfield nodded.

“Some people are now saying that Pope Francis has initiated the official start of the Mystery Babylon religion that was prophesied in Chapter 17 of the Apocalypse of Saint John,” Amadeus pointed out.

“Well Pope Francis did hold an interfaith service at the site of the temple of Inanna the ancient Sumerian goddess of prostitution (whose Babylonian, Assyrian and Akkadian equivalent was Ishtar) the goddess who’s considered the Mother of Harlots so his use of symbols and symbology used throughout this trip was extremely interesting to say the least,” Renfield sipped a small glass of brandy.

“Did you get a chance to watch the Meghan Markle and Prince Harry interview with Oprah?” Amadeus asked.

“I did,” said Renfield, “I was talking to a friend of mine who has been diagnosed with clinical depression and has felt suicidal a few times in his life and he’s very disturbed with the way Meghan was not offered help by the Royal Family when she herself was feeling suicidally depressed while pregnant with Archie and was further told she should not seek out help because members of the Firm aren’t supposed to do so.
They’re supposed to keep a stiff upper lip and all that.”

“Didn’t Prince Andrew keep a stiff something else with a few underage female proteges of Jeffrey Epstein?” Amadeus inquired.

“He did,” Renfield nodded, “And then during the interview it appears there’s at least one member of the Royal Family who’s racist and expressed concern about what skin tone colour baby Archie was going to have. Oprah said that Prince Harry made it clear that it wasn’t his grandmother the Queen or his grandfather Prince Philip. But another member of the Royal Family.”

“Any idea who that member of the Royal Family might be?” Amadeus wanted to know.

“Well, I have a few suspects in mind but nothing definite,” Renfield answered.

“I wonder if we’ll ever know,” Amadeus pondered.

“Well, if Harvey Tallbanger ever finds out and I’m told he’s currently investigating the matter,” Renfield finished his brandy, “and we hear about a member of the British Royal Family getting a cream pie in the face in public thrown at them by an invisible entity over the next few weeks, we can safely guess that was probably the one who had their knickers in a knot over what little Archie’s skin tone colour might be.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 10th
2021.

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Harvey Tallbanger Takes On Europe’s Totalitarian Despots

February 26, 2021 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“U.S. President Joe Beijing O’ Biden has ordered his first military airstrike on Syria which was carried out earlier today.
For all those lib-leftists out there who thought Joe Biden wasn’t going to be a warmonger (or thought he wouldn’t detain immigrant children in detention camps), they were of course invariably wrong as anyone with common sense could have easily told them.”
-Renfield R. Renfield MP

“Liberalism is the modern and morbid habit of always sacrificing the normal to the abnormal.”
-G.K. Chesterton

“The New Normal that most politicians, technocrats and Satan worshipping billionaires and bishops are always yapping about for the post-pandemic world is actually the Old Abnormal.”
-Renfield R. Renfield MP

British MP Renfield R. Renfield, Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague and Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster were at Set Enterprises laboratories in London flipping through various news channels on the TV.

The first news segment showed German Chancellor Angela Merkel saying that there was unanimous agreement within the European Union on implementing a coronavirus vaccine passport.

Ms. Merkel announced that “everyone agreed that we need a digital vaccination certificate” and that such a system could be implemented by summer.

As Ms. Merkel spoke, an Adolf Hitler style moustache appeared just below her nose and just above her lips.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared on her forehead written in red and black ink.

Seconds later a cream pie was thrown in her face.

The second news segment came on.

European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen announced that EU member states will “have to act fast” in order to implement a digital vaccine certification program as soon as the summer.

The certificate will facilitate travel as well as the ability to attend churches, synagogues, theatres, concert halls or even to go to the gym.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared on Ms. von der Leyen’s forehead written in red ink.

Seconds later, a cream pie was thrown in her face.

Greece’s Deputy Prime Minister Akis Skertsos then appeared on the TV screen and said that a vaccine passport verification system “is not discriminatory at all”.

The words I AM THE BIGGEST OF SATAN’S USEFUL IDIOTS then appeared written in Greek in green felt ink on his forehead.

Seconds later a souvlaki cream pie was thrown in his face.

British Education Secretary Gavin Williamson then appeared on the TV screen saying that he backed up the plan to carry passports to enter restaurants, cinemas and theatres.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST then appeared in red ink written on his forehead.

Seconds later a cream pie containing a school report card loaded with F’s for each subject was then thrown in his face.

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson then appeared on the TV screen.

Hanging from one of his long scraggly locks of hair over his right ear was a thorougly eaten fried chicken drum stick (from a rooster who was sacrificed in a live Santeria animal sacrifice).

Johnson said that Brits might definitely require health passports for simple domestic visits like going to the pub or theatre.

Johnson, who had the sign KICK ME posted on his backside by the ghost of Winston Churchill, then went on, “I know fervent libertarians will object but other people will think that there is a case for it.”

The ghosts of Adolf Hitler, Lenin, Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and the two deceased members of the North Korean Kim Communist hereditary dynasty appeared behind Johnson smiling and applauding vigourously.

The words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST AND MY HAIRSTYLIST RESIDES IN HELL appeared written in black ink on Boris Johnson’s forehead.

Seconds later a banana cream steak and kidney pie containing hair gel and a comb were then thrown in Johnson’s face.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 26th
2021

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Semiramis Recalls Harvey Tallbanger

February 18, 2021 at 11:17 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Semiramis the immortal Queen of Babylon in the back of an automobile with Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir

The lecherous old leech Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir had picked Semiramis up outside the British Houses of Parliament.

He had told the immortal Queen that he had rented the entire London Philharmonic Orchestra for her to give them their own private concert.

He had instructed the chauffeur to drive them to the Royal Albert Hall.

Of course there would be no London Philharmonic Orchestra waiting there.

Instead the “never say die” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was hoping to make out with Semiramis in one of the auditorium seats.

He had always wanted to do that with some woman.

The only trouble was there was usually always an event of some sort at the Royal Albert Hall.

However these times of Covid had put an end to such events.

And Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was hoping to take advantage of this opportunity.

As Lord Frolic’s car drove through the streets of London, they passed by the ghosts of Orson Welles and Winston Churchill.

“Rita,” Orson’s ghost called out for Semiramis looked very much like Orson’s late ex-wife Rita Hayworth.

“I do believe,” Churchill was smoking a spectral cigar, “that is Semiramis the immortal Queen of Babylon although the resemblance she bears to your ex-wife is quite remarkable. I met Semiramis once at the Tehran Conference in 1943. I remember she kicked Josef Stalin in the testicles when he got too fresh with her. Which made our talk (Churchill’s, Roosevelt’s and Stalin’s) of opening up a second front against Germany by June 1944 all the more amusing.”

The car continued to drive down the street leaving Welles looking mournful and Churchill looking reflective.

The car then stopped at a traffic light at an intersection where British Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab was standing likewise waiting for the light to change.

This past Sunday Raab had said that the British government should consider having UK citizens carry vaccine passports in order to enter such places as supermarkets.

As he stood there, a cream pie was thrown in his face by a seemingly invisible entity.

Meanwhile inside the car:

Semiramis (looking thoughtful): I have the feeling I’ve seen that rabbit somewhere before.

Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was somewhat startled by this assertion, “You see a rabbit out there?”.

“Yes,” Semiramis nodded, “a 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.”

“Really?” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was starting to wonder whether his date for this evening was clinically insane, “And when did you last see him?”.

“Several thousand years ago when my husband Nimrod first proposed building the Tower of Babel,” Semiramis recalled, “That rabbit threw a cream pie in Nimrod’s face.”

“Cream pies have been around that long?” Lord Frolic of Tweedsmuir was surprised.

“Yes, for as long as that rabbit has,” Semiramis nodded.

. . .

The little green frog Nimrod (who had been the Biblical Nimrod- “the mighty hunter against the Lord” – way back in the day) was sitting on a patient’s couch in the office of London psychiatrist Dr. Morgana Jones.

Nimrod had been turned into a little green frog some years ago when a kiss from the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith went awry.

“So, Mr. Nimrod,” Dr. Morgana Jones, with pen and notepad in hand, addressed the frog, “How long have you been afraid of cream pies?”.

“For several thousand years now,” Nimrod answered, “Ever since a very tall purple bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears threw a cream pie in my face after I proposed building a tower that could reach the heavens.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 18th
2021.

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Renfield Reads Yet Another Radio News Broadcast

February 9, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Yet another BBC news broadcastor had been gunned down in the ongoing conflict between Neo-Stalinist Neo-Bolsheviks and Neo-Trotskyite Neo-Bolsheviks in the BBC news room in the ongoing conflict to see who wins control of the coming Neo-Bolshevik Neo-Communist New World Order that the oligarchical technocrats of the world had dubbed the Great Reset with its idiotic slogan “Build back better”.

As such British MP Renfield R. Renfield had been asked asked to read the news as BBC Radio News’ ratings always went up whenever Renfield read the news.

The British NHS (National Health Service) had listed the news broadcastor’s death as being caused by Covid rather than gunshot wounds in accordance with WHO (World Health Organization) regulations.

Renfield read the news with his own ad lib nouns and descriptions, “In other news the Communist Pope of Boneheaded Slogans aka Francis says that human trafficking is caused by living in the “wrong type of economy” a profoundly stupid analysis that was apparently overlooked by the likes of Adam Smith, Karl Marx, John Maynard Keynes and John Kenneth Galbraith…”

Renfield went on, “And the church closing Archbishop of Dublin Ireland says that the drastic incease in knife attacks the past few years in the rapidly Islamized immigrant Ireland can probably be blamed on a lack of empathy among the population. So the next time you’re in Ireland and someone stabs you to death with a big knife, you can hurl at them your dying last words, “Hey, you didn’t show much empathy for me…”.

Not listening to Renfield’s news broadcast was UK Health Secretary Matt Hancock who was holding a press conference announcing prison terms of up to 10 years for some people who do not follow UK Covid guidelines.

As he was speaking, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST suddenly appeared on his forehead in red and black lettering.

Moments later, a steaming hot spaghetti and banana cream pie was thrown in his face.

“Wow, Gillian,” Harold called out to his wife as he was sitting there drinking a Harvey Wallbanger and watching the telly, “Did you see what that really tall purple bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears just did?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Tuesday February 9th
2021.

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Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Prototype Teleporter

February 8, 2021 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had recently come in possession of a stash of Russian vodka that Naina Yeltsina had hidden from her husband the late former Russian President Boris Yeltsin.

Because of course if Yeltsin had found them, they’d all be drunk by now.

Renfield had invited Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague over to help sample them.

“So, what are you up to these days?” Renfield asked as he poured the glasses of vodka.

“I’m watching Dr. Cadbury Rocher build a prototype teleporter,” Montague answered.

“Teleporter?” Renfield looked quizzical, “You mean like Captain Kirk and the U.S.S. Enterprise and “Beam me up, Scotty” and all that?”.

“Exactly,” Montague nodded, “But at this stage, he’s not testing it on mortal humans just yet.”

“You mean he’s not like Big Pharma that’s boldly going ahead where no experimental vaccines have gone before and rolling out the newfangled mRNA vaccines that have skipped a whole bunch of phases of testing and experimentation using a new type of vaccine that’s never been used in the history of science and yet governments and so-called health “experts” are telling us that these vaccines are perfectly safe giving them a level of omniscience that the medieval Scholastic philosophers had previously ascribed to God?” Renfield queried.

“No, he’s not like Big Pharma,” Montague acknowledged.

“So, who’s he using to test his protype teleporter?” Renfield asked.

“A supernatural creature,” Montague answered.

“What type of supernatural creature?” Renfield queried, “It couldn’t be an angel, fallen angel, demon or fairie since they already know how to teleport.”

“Let’s watch the TV news and see,” Montague put on the telly.

There was a clip of former British Prime Minister Tony Blair telling a press conference that all the citizens of the planet must have a vaccine passport and if they don’t have one, they shouldn’t be allowed to travel or be allowed to enter an establishment or place of business or restaurant.

As Blair was talking, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST was written on his forehead in black felt ink.

The scene then switched to narcissistic self-proclaimed demi-god Bill Gates (who because he wasn’t Donald Trump his narcissism was totally overlooked by the brainless mainstream Marxist media in the western world as well as other assholes).

Gates smiled orgiastically, “And people may have to get new Covid vaccines year after year, decade after decade, century after century.
Waaahhahahaaaaa!”.

He broke into great gales of uber-DoctorFrankensteinian laughter.

Suddenly the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST was written on his forehead in red felt ink.

Suddenly a slide showing the Georgia Guidestones inscription that read MAINTAIN HUMANITY UNDER 500,000,000 IN PERPETUAL BALANCE WITH NATURE was projected on to the screen behind Gates.

Then an audio recording of Bill Gates saying, “Way hey! Ho! Ho! 7.5 billion people have to go!” was then played.

The neo-Hitlerian eugenicist Gates then went beserk.

“Someone take down that slide and someone put an end to that audio recording,” Gates foamed at the mouth and then fell over backwards with his head spinning around like Linda Blair in Fast/Forward mode.

Dr. Anthony Fauci at his press conference smiled pompously and smugly and idiotically in a manner that only impressed those who were on the Left of the political spectrum across the globe.

As Fauci once again gave another one of his condescending lectures that sent members of The Washington Post and The New York Times into paroxysms of masturbation from which they might never recover, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST suddenly appeared on his forehead written in red and black felt ink.

Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the CCP’s stooge at the helm of WHO (World Health Organization) decided to cancel his press conference when he saw what happened at the other press conferences.

He rushed out to his limousine as TV cameras followed him.

The TV cameras captured him getting hit in the face with a coconut cream pie thrown at him by some invisible entity.

“So, I take it this supernatural creature testing the prototype teleporter for Dr. Rocher is a 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit invisible to mortals?” Renfield finished his glass of vodka.

“That’s right,” Dr. Marmalade Montague smiled.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 8th
2021.

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Renfield Tackles The Tinpot Dictator Down Under

September 8, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

“The Victoria state government of Premier Daniel Andrews is Australia’s Vichy regime to Xi Jinping’s Thousand Year Reich.
That’s why he imposes despotic draconian lockdowns, sends in riot police (in the manner of Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukasheno) to crush protestors and arrests pregnant women when they voice their dissent with his policies on Facebook.”
-Renfield R. Renfield

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit report on Australia’s Victoria state Premier Daniel Andrews.

The report showed close collusion between the Victoria Labour Party Government of Daniel Andrews in Melbourne and the Chinese Communist Party ever since Daniel Andrews became Premier of Victoria back in 2014.

Victoria Yang a Victoria Labour Party staffer with links to the Chinese Communist Party and a friend of Daniel Andrews’ senior China advisor Marty Mei recently came up with the theory that the U.S. was responsible for creating Covid-19 and was using its army to spread the virus across the globe.

Comrade Dan or Chairman Dan as the Victoria Premier was called had effectively turned Australia’s Victoria state into an economic vassal of Communist China boldly signing up to Xi Jinping’s new Silk Road policy.

Comrade Dan criticized Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s National Government in Canberra for cancelling foreign deals with China.

Lastly the Set Enterprises report noted the similarities in the way Daniel Andrews handled anti-lockdown protests in Melbourne with the way the new Hong Kong Security Law of Xi Jinping’s Hong Kong Police handled protestors in Hong Kong and the way the security forces of Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukashenko handled protestors in Minsk.

Renfield put in a call to the Set Enterprises eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis oil powered dirigible airship The Hooterville Cannonball which was currently flying in the Asia-Pacific region.

Hours later as kangaroos and koala bears stood outside Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews’ office holding signs that read WE DARE CALL IT TREASON,
Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews felt a sharp prick into his buttocks as if some invisible entity was shoving a needle into it.

The needle went through the Josef Stalin walrus moustache that was growing on Andrews’ left buttock and went all the way through narrowly missing the Adolf Hitler moustache that was growing on Andrews’ right testicle.

An SS-Gestapo and KGB style security officer working for Andrews and who had been drinking Harvey Wallbangers on the job said that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who had injected the needle.

The call went out around Melbourne.

In an empty Melbourne movie theatre meanwhile Uncle Ernie had entered it to give a performance as his drag queen altar ego Cumelita.

Sadly there was no one inside and forgetting what day of the year it was, Uncle Ernie thought it was Easter and so he went to his dressing room back stage and put on his Easter Bunny costume.

He exited the theatre where he was immediately thrown to the ground and handcuffed while some Imperial Stormtrooper looking official spoke through a megaphone, “You’re under arrest for assaulting Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews’ buttocks.”

The Easter bunny attired Uncle Ernie was then thrown into the back of a police van and taken to Secret Police Headquarters for interrogation.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 8th
2020.

Vril Society psychic medium Maria Orsic forseeing the events of September 8th 2020 on her Nazi prototype laptop on this date back in 1943.

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Renfield Insults Xi Jinping and Hong Kong’s Police Chief Gets Hemorrhoid Inducing Serum

September 7, 2020 at 10:29 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Over the weekend a 12 year-old-girl in Hong Kong who had gone downtown to buy art supplies found herself in the midst of a protest.

When she ran to get away from the protestors, the Hong Kong Police, anxious to show the world that they were even more stupid and incompetent than the Keystone Cops of silent movie era Keystone Studios fame, ran after her, threw her to the ground with half a dozen cops lying on top of her and handcuffed her and dragged her away in a police van to jail.

The incident reached the ears of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

As China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping (who had just brought in the Hong Kong Security Law this past summer that effectively ended Hong Kong’s freedom and autonomy and made the island effectively part of a one system Chinese Communist totalitarian state) sat down at his computer, his computer had been hacked by the Set Enterprises Intelligence Team Unit.

There on his computer screen was a smiling Renfield R. Renfield who sat there playing his guitar and singing a song,

“Hey Xi Jinping, you’re a loser,
you’re a 12-year-old girl abuser,
I guess you think you’re 10 feet tall
Even though your homegrown chopstick is so small,
The Heaven above is displeased with you,
That’s why summer snow has been falling too
Letting you know your reign will be through
after India’s army kicked your ass so blue…”

A livid Xi Jinping put in a phone call to his Ministry of State Security and demanded they assassinate Renfield R. Renfield.

Meanwhile in Hong Kong, the Hong Kong Commissioner of Police Chris Ping-keung Tang had felt a sharp injection in his buttocks earlier today.

One of his assistants (who had been drinking way too many Harvey Wallbangers) said that the culprit was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

As the all points bulletin and call went out among the Hong Kong Police Force to be on the lookout for a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears, the mostly sober (but nevertheless still incompetent) Hong Kong police were unable to spot him.

As for the injection, it was a serum invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher that would tie the Hong Kong Commissioner of Police for 1st place along with Vladimir Putin in having the worst case of hemorrhoids in all recorded history.

And in Beijing, the Chinese vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (an ally of Renfield R. Renfield) was waiting to put the final touches on a plan to punish Xi Jinping.

Chinese vampiress Mei-ling Manchu

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 7th
2020.

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