Renfield Tackles The Tinpot Dictator Down Under

September 8, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

“The Victoria state government of Premier Daniel Andrews is Australia’s Vichy regime to Xi Jinping’s Thousand Year Reich.
That’s why he imposes despotic draconian lockdowns, sends in riot police (in the manner of Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukasheno) to crush protestors and arrests pregnant women when they voice their dissent with his policies on Facebook.”
-Renfield R. Renfield

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit report on Australia’s Victoria state Premier Daniel Andrews.

The report showed close collusion between the Victoria Labour Party Government of Daniel Andrews in Melbourne and the Chinese Communist Party ever since Daniel Andrews became Premier of Victoria back in 2014.

Victoria Yang a Victoria Labour Party staffer with links to the Chinese Communist Party and a friend of Daniel Andrews’ senior China advisor Marty Mei recently came up with the theory that the U.S. was responsible for creating Covid-19 and was using its army to spread the virus across the globe.

Comrade Dan or Chairman Dan as the Victoria Premier was called had effectively turned Australia’s Victoria state into an economic vassal of Communist China boldly signing up to Xi Jinping’s new Silk Road policy.

Comrade Dan criticized Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s National Government in Canberra for cancelling foreign deals with China.

Lastly the Set Enterprises report noted the similarities in the way Daniel Andrews handled anti-lockdown protests in Melbourne with the way the new Hong Kong Security Law of Xi Jinping’s Hong Kong Police handled protestors in Hong Kong and the way the security forces of Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukashenko handled protestors in Minsk.

Renfield put in a call to the Set Enterprises eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis oil powered dirigible airship The Hooterville Cannonball which was currently flying in the Asia-Pacific region.

Hours later as kangaroos and koala bears stood outside Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews’ office holding signs that read WE DARE CALL IT TREASON,
Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews felt a sharp prick into his buttocks as if some invisible entity was shoving a needle into it.

The needle went through the Josef Stalin walrus moustache that was growing on Andrews’ left buttock and went all the way through narrowly missing the Adolf Hitler moustache that was growing on Andrews’ right testicle.

An SS-Gestapo and KGB style security officer working for Andrews and who had been drinking Harvey Wallbangers on the job said that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who had injected the needle.

The call went out around Melbourne.

In an empty Melbourne movie theatre meanwhile Uncle Ernie had entered it to give a performance as his drag queen altar ego Cumelita.

Sadly there was no one inside and forgetting what day of the year it was, Uncle Ernie thought it was Easter and so he went to his dressing room back stage and put on his Easter Bunny costume.

He exited the theatre where he was immediately thrown to the ground and handcuffed while some Imperial Stormtrooper looking official spoke through a megaphone, “You’re under arrest for assaulting Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews’ buttocks.”

The Easter bunny attired Uncle Ernie was then thrown into the back of a police van and taken to Secret Police Headquarters for interrogation.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 8th
2020.

Vril Society psychic medium Maria Orsic forseeing the events of September 8th 2020 on her Nazi prototype laptop on this date back in 1943.

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Renfield Insults Xi Jinping and Hong Kong’s Police Chief Gets Hemorrhoid Inducing Serum

September 7, 2020 at 10:29 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Over the weekend a 12 year-old-girl in Hong Kong who had gone downtown to buy art supplies found herself in the midst of a protest.

When she ran to get away from the protestors, the Hong Kong Police, anxious to show the world that they were even more stupid and incompetent than the Keystone Cops of silent movie era Keystone Studios fame, ran after her, threw her to the ground with half a dozen cops lying on top of her and handcuffed her and dragged her away in a police van to jail.

The incident reached the ears of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

As China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping (who had just brought in the Hong Kong Security Law this past summer that effectively ended Hong Kong’s freedom and autonomy and made the island effectively part of a one system Chinese Communist totalitarian state) sat down at his computer, his computer had been hacked by the Set Enterprises Intelligence Team Unit.

There on his computer screen was a smiling Renfield R. Renfield who sat there playing his guitar and singing a song,

“Hey Xi Jinping, you’re a loser,
you’re a 12-year-old girl abuser,
I guess you think you’re 10 feet tall
Even though your homegrown chopstick is so small,
The Heaven above is displeased with you,
That’s why summer snow has been falling too
Letting you know your reign will be through
after India’s army kicked your ass so blue…”

A livid Xi Jinping put in a phone call to his Ministry of State Security and demanded they assassinate Renfield R. Renfield.

Meanwhile in Hong Kong, the Hong Kong Commissioner of Police Chris Ping-keung Tang had felt a sharp injection in his buttocks earlier today.

One of his assistants (who had been drinking way too many Harvey Wallbangers) said that the culprit was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

As the all points bulletin and call went out among the Hong Kong Police Force to be on the lookout for a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears, the mostly sober (but nevertheless still incompetent) Hong Kong police were unable to spot him.

As for the injection, it was a serum invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher that would tie the Hong Kong Commissioner of Police for 1st place along with Vladimir Putin in having the worst case of hemorrhoids in all recorded history.

And in Beijing, the Chinese vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (an ally of Renfield R. Renfield) was waiting to put the final touches on a plan to punish Xi Jinping.

Chinese vampiress Mei-ling Manchu

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 7th
2020.

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Alexei Navalny Flown To Germany

August 22, 2020 at 10:17 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Russian Opposition leader Alexei Navalny was flown from Siberia to Berlin, Germany for medical treatment.

Mr. Navalny had fallen ill during a flight from Tomsk Siberia to Moscow this past Thursday.

Disturbing video shot on the plane showed Mr. Navalny howling in agony on the flight before he collapsed into a coma.

His supporters believe that a cup of tea he drank at a Tomsk airport cafe had been poisoned.

The plane made an emergency landing in Omsk Siberia where Mr. Navalny was taken to hospital.

Mr. Navalny’s personal physician Anastasia Vasilieva was not allowed to see him while he was in hospital in Russia.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield speculated that it was because doctors at the hospital in Omsk were trying to cover up traces that Mr. Navalny had indeed been poisoned and doing so on the Kremlin’s orders.

Doctors at the hospital in Omsk on Friday spent most of the day twiddling their thumbs when it came to signing paper work to fly Mr. Navalny to Germany.

Finally early Saturday morning Mr. Navalny was granted permission by Omsk doctors to leave and a medical evacuation flight paid for by the German organization Cinema For Peace landed the Russian Opposition leader at Tegel airport in Berlin where he was taken to the German capital’s Charite Hospital for treatment.

Mr. Navalny’s possible poisoning was only one in a long string of poisonings done to Mr. Putin’s opponents over the years, Mr. Renfield pointed out.

Alexander Litvinenko an FSB defector had been poisoned by radioactive polonium-210 in London, England back in November 2006.

Sergei Skripal (a GRU officer who defected to the UK) and his daughter Yulia were poisoned with a Russian developed Novichok nerve agent in March 2018.

Unlike Mr. Litvinenko who died, the Skripals recovered from their poisoning.

Although a UK citizen exposed to the nerve agent during the Skripal poisoning died.

The Russian Foreign Ministry always denied that the Russian state was responsible for the poisoning of Mr. Putin’s opponents with the same vigour that the Washington Post, New York Times, CNN, MSNBC and Global News Canada disinformation branches of the New World Order Ministry of Propoganda denied that those rioting, looting and burning in various inner cities across the U.S. were anything but “peaceful protestors”.

Renfield told his parliamentary colleague the Welsh vampiress Morgana that he had already made his move against Putin for the latest poisoning of one of the Russian leader’s political opponents.

“Mr. Putin seems to fancy himself more of a Byzantine Emperor than a Russian Czar,” Renfield explained to Morgana, “since that seemed to be the favourite method used by Byzantine Emperors for doing in their opponents- poisoning.”

Meanwhile in Moscow as a Harvey Wallbanger drinking Kremlin guard was removed from duty for claiming that a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears and holding a hypodermic needle syringe in his upper right paw was wandering the Kremlin halls, minutes later Vladimir Putin suddenly experienced a sharp sensation in his buttocks as if he was jabbed there.

Renfield later spoke to his friend Amadeus Emanon via Skype, “Did I tell you that Dr. Cadbury Rocher has developed a serum that when injected into a person’s buttocks can give that person the worst case of hemmorhoids in all recorded history?”.

“What’s the purpose of that?” Amadeus asked as he ate a hard boiled egg.

Meanwhile in the Kremlin, Vladimir Putin started screaming his head off when he tried to sit down.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 22nd
2020.

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An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

June 2, 2020 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

An Elk, Cthulhu and The Antichrist

Monsieur Philippe Geoffrei Gaston a TV reporter for France 24 Live (which is France’s 24/7 international news TV channel) was interviewing British MP Renfield R. Renfield to get a British perspective on Britain leaving the EU.

Renfield was eating malt vinegar covered Fish and Chips wrapped in the Times of London newspaper, drinking brown ale and eating gulab jamun for dessert which as the British MP told the French journalist would definitely be considered the most typical British cuisine in the year 2020.

“Boris Johnson says he wants a final deal between Britain and the EU before December 31st of this year or otherwise it’s a no deal Brexit,” Gaston noted, “Do you think a final deal is possible before that date?”.

“No, it will probably turn out to be a no deal Brexit,” Renfield wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“And why is that?” Gaston asked.

“Because the Europeans are so unreasonable about everything,” Renfield lit a cigar.

“Well,” Gaston frowned, “as a Brit waving good-bye to Europe, what do you think would be the best thing to happen to Europe?”.

“The best thing to happen to Europe is if a Bourbon once again sat on a restored French throne, a Hapsburg sat on a restored Austro-Hungarian throne and a Romanov sat on a restored Russian Czarist throne,” Renfield answered, as with his heavy cigar smoke, he set fire to a small bookshelf behind him on which sat three books entitled respectively The Legacy of The French Revolution, The Legacy of Woodrow Wilson and The Legacy of Lenin.

Startled by this answer, Monsieur Gaston with his cigarette accidentally set fire to the small French tricoloured flag that sat on his desk.

The interview came to an abrupt end and Renfield was then interviewed by a BBC reporter.

Towards the end of that interview, Renfield was asked by the BBC reporter Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys on whether or not Bill Gates could be the Antichrist.

“No, Bill Gates is far too bland, boring and nerdy to be the Antichrist,” Renfield answered, “his vaccine implant tracking system could pave the way for the Antichrist’s Mark of The Beast system so in that way Gates could be a forerunner. But Gates just doesn’t have that necessary cool to be the Antichrist. Lucifer is not only intelligent but also an artist who likes to dazzle with his beauty. So Gates doesn’t quite cut the mustard. Although he most likely does cut the cheese.”

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys was quite taken aback by this answer.

Humphreys’ assistant, a man dressed in a British army captain’s uniform and wearing a peacock mask over his face, enters the room where the BBC reporter is livestreaming, “Are you free, Mr. Humphreys? We’d like you to look at some video footage of Donald Trump getting a cream pie in the face thrown by an invisible entity while Trump was surrounded by Evil Empire Stormtrooper looking Military Police as black military helicopters were hovering overhead in the background. One of our video technicians, who in my opinion has been drinking far too many Harvey Wallbangers on the job, claims that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who did it. We’d like your opinion.”

“Not now,” Humphreys foamed, “I’m busy interviewing Renfield. Ask Mr. Lucas.”

“Mr. Lucas, are you free?” The peacock masked wearing army captain ran down the hall.

Sir Valk Zisvay Humphreys turned back to Renfield.

“So you think the Antichrist will be an artist?” Humphreys inquired.

“Yes, it will be a scientific technocratic world state that the Antichrist will be running,” Renfield answered, “But the Antichrist won’t come across as being a scientific technocrat himself as those of a strictly scientific technocratic personality are generally quite bland and boring. Most people would probably prefer being beheaded rather than pledging fealty to or offering worship to such a personality. However someone who is quite artistic and flamboyant the people would have no problem following or even worshipping. The Mexican artist Diego Rivera asked Leon Trotsky in 1938 who he thought would genuinely win the most popularity in a worldwide election if one were held, Hitler or Stalin? And Trotsky answered Hitler because Stalin too much acted the stiff technocratic scientific socialist in his personality and demeanour (unlike the smiling demeanour that Stalin was portrayed as having in Soviet art propaganda) whereas Hitler had the dramatic showmanship of an artist and could easily capture people’s emotions and feelings.”

. . .

Outside the CERN Large Hadron Collider Tunnel in Switzerland, the demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were having a picnic.

Nimrod was adding black flies to a sandwich while Asmodeus was lighting a cigarette.

A hundreds of meters tall creature with an octopus head, the wings of a dragon and the body of a human with webbed looking human arms and legs emerged from the tunnel.

“Isn’t that Cthulhu the High Priest of the Great Old Ones and the Sleeper of R’lyeh coming out of the tunnel?” Nimrod asked.

“I believe it is,” Asmodeus put on his monocle to look.

Cthulhu was followed by an elk.

“Isn’t that an elk?” Nimrod put peanut butter and jam on his black flies.

Asmodeus struggled between lighting his cigarette and putting his monocle on his right eye again, “I believe it is.”

“What’s Cthulhu doing emerging from the CERN tunnel with an elk?” Nimrod wanted to know.

“Well, I wouldn’t go down that rabbit hole if I were you,” Asmodeus was trying to decide between buffalo gryphon’s wings or teriyaki gryphon’s wings from his KFC Hybrids Bucket.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 2nd
2020.

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Sanhedrin Say Performing Passover Sacrifice Can End Covid-19 Pandemic

April 6, 2020 at 10:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, magic, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Sanhedrin Say Performing Passover Sacrifice Can End Covid-19 Pandemic

At a press conference today dealing with how the New Zealand government is battling the Coronavirus pandemic, New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced that she had declared both “the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny are essential workers” and that the children of New Zealand should not be worried that the pair are at all affected by the pandemic.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, watching the New Zealand Prime Minister’s press conference on television, remarked, “Jacinda must have finally smoked that complimentary piece of legalized Canadian cannabis that I sent her.”

. . .

Barbados Prime Minister Mia Mottely was forced to announce that 20 ventilators destined for Barbados as part of an act of philanthropy pledged by Barbados born international pop star Rihanna were seized by the United States.

Shortly after Prime Minister Mottely’s announcement, U.S. President Donald Trump was sitting at his desk in the Oval Office when he was suddenly hit with a cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity.

“What’s with all these cream pies in the face lately?” Trump cried out, “And to top it off, it was laced with Mexican tacos and salsa sauce and guacamole cream. I hate anything Mexican.”

Trump then had Corona beer poured all over him by the same invisible entity.

“Now I’ve been hit by Corona,” Trump cried out.

Men wearing hazmat suits then entered the Oval Office and carried Trump off to a place where he could be quarantined.

. . .

Rihanna was social distancing at a closed astronomical observatory and livestreaming on line.

It was nighttime and as she sang, “Shine bright like a diamond… We’re like diamonds in the sky”, a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit holding a magic lantern film projector (that had been worked on by Houdini, Pantages, Nikola Tesla, Orson Welles and Hedy Lamarr) making him visible to people without them needing to drink Harvey Wallbangers, appeared peering through the glass at the top of the open air telescope and waved at the livestream viewing audience.

. . .

The Israeli Sanhedrin has petitioned both Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and U.S. President Donald Trump to allow the Passover Sacrifice to occur on the Temple Mount.

The Pesach sacrifice has not taken place on the Temple Mount in nearly 2000 years.

“The only thing preventing the Jewish people from performing the Passover sacrifice is the Israeli government,” Rabbi Hillel Weiss the spokesman for the Sanhedrin said.

Added Rabbi Weiss, “We are proposing bringing a temporary altar for one day to sacrifice one lamb for the entire Jewish nation.”

Dov Stein the Secretary to the Court of the Sanhedrin in Jerusalem Israel had written a letter to both Benjamin Netanyahu and Donald Trump asking for the ceremony to be performed.

Stein wrote in his letter to both men that if the sacrifice of the Passover lamb occurred in the spring feast beginning at sundown on Wednesday April 8th 2020 or Nisan 14th 5780 (Hebrew calendar), this would put an end to the Covid-19 pandemic that was currently a modern day plague on humanity.

. . .

Meanwhile in the intensive care unit of a U.S. Naval Hospital, Donald Trump was protesting that, unlike Britain’s Prime Minister Boris Johnson, he did not have the Coronavirus.

Meanwhile a creature who did not have a head but had the arms and torso of a man and had two slithering serpents for legs was running around the Donald’s bed.

The creature finally went under the bed and re-emerged with the head of a rooster that it then put on its human torso’s shoulders.

“You must forgive me for running around like a chicken with its head cut off,” the rooster headed creature apologized, “But that’s exactly what happened. Pan Goatee who had taken too many of the notorious Australian Uncle Ernie’s Chemicals of The Day thought I was an ugly looking woman and so cut my head off.”

“Who the Hell are you?” Trump asked.

“I’m the ancient Gnostic god Abraxas,” the creature replied, “And I want you to tell Netanyahu that he should allow the Sanhedrin to go ahead with its Passover Pascal lamb sacrifice this coming Wednesday.”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday April 6th
2020.

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Palm Sunday In A Dangerous Time

April 5, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Palm Sunday In A Dangerous Time

At Our Lady of Victories Church in Quezon City, Philippines, palm branches were being blessed and distributed to worshippers outside the Church to mark Palm Sunday.

Meanwhile in America, numerous members of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops were telling laity to wave cactus plants (minus the plant holder containers they’re in for safety’s sake) rather than palm branches in the privacy of their homes if they feel so reactionarily inclined (pre-Vatican II) to celebrate Palm Sunday.

Woman: I’ve got several cactus needles stuck in my thumb and fingers.

Dante wisely put many of the bishops of his day in Hell in the volume entitled Inferno of his Divine Comedy.

A vast number of bishops haven’t really changed much in 700 years.

Cardinal Joseph William Tobin the Bishop of Newark New Jersey (who unbeknownst to him already had a reserved barbecue spit reserved for him down in the Inferno unless he truly repented of his pro-Baal and Baphomet inclined sins) had decreed that there was to be no distribution of palms whatsoever in his diocese.

As he left his house to jog (while still thinking of his male Italian fashion model companion who was a very close friend indeed), a cream pie was thrown in his face by an invisible entity.

As news of the pie creaming got out, Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Director-General of the WHO who was recovering in a hospital emergency room after a pie creaming of his own, wondered, “I wonder if his cream pie was laced with chop suey and sweet and sour spareribs like mine was? I never got a chance to read the fortune cookie that was placed in it because one of the PPE N-95 face mask wearing paramedics threw it away.”

On the radio in the emergency room, an old Lone Ranger radio program was being played and the announcer asked, “Who was that masked man?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 5th
2020.

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Ethiopian Communist Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus: Beijing Regime’s “Useful Idiot” As Head of WHO

April 4, 2020 at 11:21 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Ethiopian Communist Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus: Beijing Regime’s “Useful Idiot” As Head of WHO

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading a dossier put together by the Set Enterprises Intelligence Gathering Unit (consisting of various secret agents including Set’s Executive Assistant Miranda Singh and the 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger in between his periodic episodes of throwing cream pies in the faces of various jack asses and airheads) on WHO’s head Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus.

Renfield read, “As Director-General of the World Health Organization, Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus is the highest ranking medical official in the world but he isn’t even a real medical doctor.
In fact, he’s the first person to lead the WHO without a medical degree.
Tedros is simply a Communist academic (he has a Ph.D not an MD) who has never cured a single patient in his entire life.
Tedros is actually a politician (a member of two Marxist parties in Ethiopia – the Tigrayan People’s Liberation Front and the Ethiopian People’s Revolutionary Democratic Front – who served as Ethiopia’s Minister of Health from 2005 to 2012 and Ethiopia’s Minister of Foreign Affairs from 2012 to 2016) who hired a public relations firm from the United States to help get him the lucrative top job at the WHO.
Mercury Public Affairs put together a snazzy presentation for him to present to the world body but when it came time for him to answer questions, he couldn’t answer any.
It was only through the intense backing and lobbying of the People’s Republic of China that Dr. Tedros was able to land himself the top job at WHO.
Dr. Tedros, being a Communist revolutionary who served in a government that killed its own people in the streets and who as Ethiopia’s Minister of Health covered up several cholera epidemics in his own country, was the sort of person who was right up the Chinese Communist state’s alley.
The Ethiopian capital’s newspaper the Addis Ababa Standard even published an editorial calling for the WHO not to appoint Dr. Tedros its Director-General.
But the WHO listened to Xi Jinping and not the Addis Ababa Standard.

Miranda had included in the dossier the following notation from Wikipedia, “As Minister of Health, Tedros was able to form close relationships with prominent figures including former American President Bill Clinton and the Clinton Foundation and Bill and Melinda Gates and the Gates Foundation.”

“Well,” Renfield noted, “That says right there what sort of person Tedros is. Hobnobbing with such globalist elitist scumbags as Bill Clinton and Bill and Melinda Gates.”

The dossier went on to note that Dr. Tedros took office as head of the WHO beginning on July 1st 2017 for a 5-year term of office.
Dr. Tedros’ first major decision upon taking office was to name Zimbabwe’s Marxist totalitarian dictator Robert Mugabe as WHO Goodwill Ambassador to the African Union on October 18th 2017.

“Well,” Renfield sipped a can of non-Corona beer, “that says right then and there what manner of sound mind and judgment this Dr. Tedros character is.”

Back on January 14th of this year, Dr. Tedros (under pressure from the Xi Jinping regime) had tweeted on WHO’s Twitter account that “there is no clear evidence of human-to-human transmission of the novel Coronavirus”.
Later he was forced to backtrack on January 23rd when too much evidence was emerging to the contrary.
And under continuing pressure from Communist China, Dr. Tedros refused to call the Coronavirus a pandemic until March 11th when by then 114 countries had already reported over 118,000 cases.

Harvey Tallbanger (who was currently working on one super doozy of a cream pie for Dr. Tedros) said how the world might have started better preparing and arranging for such things as PPEs if Dr. Tedros had declared a pandemic much sooner.

Noted Tallbanger, “Dr. Tedros has blood on his hands back from when his nation’s Communist government slaughtered people in the streets and now when the world’s most vulnerable cower in their homes due to the Coronavirus pandemic and suffocate to death at the hands of an inept bootlicker of the Chinese Communists.”

Renfield thought to himself, “Dr. Tedros should be taken in front of the International Criminal Court and tried and if found guilty he should be taken out and shot by firing squad.
Capital punishment is the way to go for offences such as this. For in these times, it doesn’t do the world a Hell of a lot of good to be a pablum puking liberal.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 4th
2020.

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The Black Hand, Gnostic God Abraxas, Thanatotheristes, Teilhard and Tezcatlipoca

March 23, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Black Hand, Gnostic God Abraxas, Thanatotheristes, Teilhard and Tezcatlipoca 

Sexual predatory Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein was showering by himself in a shower at the Wende Correctional Facility near Buffalo, New York.

He suddenly dropped the soap.

He bent over to pick it up.

An 8 foot tall giant mammalian bat with the head of a Thanatotheristes (the name meant Reaper of Death in Greek and referred to a new species of T-Rex that had been discovered 10 years ago in the Western Canadian province of Alberta) pulled out his phallus (which was a living cobra snake) from the pants of the extra tall extra large sized waterproof Armani suit he was wearing and sodomized Weinstein in the rear end as he was bending over.

“Where the Hell did you come from?” Asked a surprised Weinstein.

“From Hell,” the strange hybrid answered, “I’m the demon of the Covid-19 Coronavirus.”

“That’s Chinese virus,” a small hybrid creature who was part weasel and part worm and who was a staunch Donald Trump supporter remarked as he crawled across the prison shower room floor.

The weasel worm hybrid was crushed by the bat body Thanatotheristes headed cobra phallic Covid-19 Coronavirus demon.

Later the news media reported that Weinstein had come down with the Coronavirus.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was looking into his pot smoking late Victorian/early Edwardian antique mirror when suddenly the image of Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of smoking mirrors appeared to him.

Spoke Tezcatlipoca, “Tomorrow as you bring forth emergency legislation to deal with the financial and economic fallout from the Coronavirus crisis, I want you to include Emergency Financial Powers Legislation that will give your Finance Minister Bill Morneau power to govern the economy by dictatorial fiat – raise taxes, lower taxes, get rid of old taxes, bring in new taxes- without needing the approval of the Canadian Parliament beforehand. Grant him this power until December 2021.”

“Why should I do that?” Inquired a stunned Justin.

“Just do it,”” Tezcatlipoca blew great plumes of smoke as he blew his top.

“All right,” answered Justin meekly.

. . .

The disembodied head of the Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (who had flames of fire emerging from the silver gray locks of hair on his head) was writing a poem on the walls of a subway station in Moscow, Russia.

The poem was being written for him by a severed hand that had been burnt charcoal black.

The severed hand dubbed the Black Hand had once belonged to the Norse god Tyr but had been bitten off by the fierce Norse wolf Fenrir when Tyr bound him.

The hand had been burnt a charcoal black after the Battle of Kosovo had been fought between the Serbian Prince Lazar and the Ottoman Turks on June 15th 1389 when a group of surviving warriors had tried to cook dinner for themselves.

The hand in the fire, after it had been burnt a charcoal black, crawled away.

Teilhard directed the Black Hand to write to the Coronavirus,

“Oh, what a beautiful virus you are, you are,
What a beautiful virus you are,
Thou art the Alpha Point,
The virus that attacked the first one-celled organism starting the whole process of Darwinian evolution,
And it turns out, thou art the Omega Point as well 
The total sum of Christ Consciousness 
Bringing forth Pachamama’s revenge upon humanity.
Amen.”

When the moving finger of the Black Hand wrote and the eyes of disembodied head Teilhard wept tears of joy, the Jesuit’s mouth cackled in laughter.

Seconds later, a cream pie with Holy Water in it was thrown in his face.

A group of Harvey Wallbanger drinking Moscow policemen swore to their superiors afterwards that a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears had done it.

. . .

Israel’s Health Minister Yaakov Litzman, when recently asked about the Coronavirus in Israel, had replied that Moshiach (the Jewish Messiah) would arrive before Passover this year and save the entire world.

Passover this year begins on Wednesday April 8th.

Meanwhile the ancient Gnostic god Abraxas (who had the head of a rooster, the arms and torso of a man, and whose legs were two slithering serpents) had appeared to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and asked him to grant the recently formed Israeli Sanhedrin permission to sacrifice a paschal lamb at an altar on the Temple Mount on Passover for the first time in 2000 years.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday March 23rd
2020.

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Lepardia Marango and Harvey Tallbanger At Donald Trump Press Conference

March 21, 2020 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Lepardia Marango and Harvey Tallbanger At Donald Trump Press Conference

NBC News White House correspondent Peter Alexander had asked Donald Trump the question regarding the Coronavirus crisis, “What do you say to Americans who are scared?”.

Trump replied, “I’d say you are a terrible reporter.”

Both British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set felt that Trump should be given a come uppance for this stupid ass remark.

Especially since Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had had a vision in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises yesterday morning that Trump would soon declare martial law and say that this fall’s Presidential election would be postponed indefinitely because of the Coronavirus which the racist bozo in the Oval Office kept calling the “Chinese virus”.

All that was needed for Trump to act was if he fell behind either Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders in the opinion polls.

Thus Set Enterprises’ secret agent Harvey Tallbanger (a 6 ft. 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit who was invisible most of the time) went over to America along with Renfield and Dracul Van Helsing’s friend Lepardia Marango the cultural attaché at the South African Embassy in London.

They flew across the ocean in Set’s high speed environmentally friendly dirigible airship that had been invented by Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

The high flying supersonic eco-friendly airship was powered by legalized Canadian cannabis.

Thus it flew quite high and quite fast.

Although munchies’ snacks had to be fed constantly to the airship’s underbelly.

Tallbanger (who had shapeshifted into a human being news journalist who was visible) bearing press media credentials from TCM (Turner Classic Movies) went to the next White House press conference accompanied by Miss Lepardia Marango.

Tallbanger posed the same question to Trump that Peter Alexander had, “What do you say to Americans who are scared?”.

Trump’s snitty response was the same, “I’d say you are a terrible reporter.”

To which Tallbanger responded, “And I’d say you are a terrible President, you limpwristed jackass.”

Trump foamed at the mouth, “What, how dare you talk that way to me, the greatest world leader in world history?! Secret Service, arrest this man and charge him with high treason.”

Tallbanger then took a cream pie out from under his jacket and went up and threw it in the Donald’s face.

As Trump lay on the floor with his face and toupee covered in a combination of banana cream, coconut cream and shaving cream, he screamed, “Did you see what that insidiously evil individual did to me? Shoot him on the spot.”

Tallbanger shapeshifted into tall invisible bunny rabbit form and sneaked away.

Lepardia Marango met up with him in the Washington DC parking lot where Set’s eco-friendly cannabis pot fuelled dirigible was parked.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Saturday March 21st
2020

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Clarence Darrow’s Ghost, Trump’s Acquittal, Madonna’s Cream Pie and Uncle Ernie

February 5, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Clarence Darrow’s Ghost, Trump’s Acquittal, Madonna’s Cream Pie and Uncle Ernie

The U.S. Senate voted to acquit Donald Trump 52-48 on charges of abuse of power and 53-47 on charges of obstruction of Congress.

The ghost of Clarence Darrow (who had been released from the Underworld of Hades on the Norse trickster god Loki’s recommendation) never got a chance to shine during Trump’s trial in the Senate.

His particular talent for the Trump defence would have been to question witnesses and the Republican majority in the Senate had voted not to allow witnesses.

Nevertheless Darrow’s ghost did do a final summing up for the Trump defence at the Senate trial with these words,

“The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things,
of sailing ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings,
of why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.”

Darrow’s ghost then sat down.

The famed defence lawyer’s closing argument was totally lost on members on both sides of the aisle.

By using this piece of Jabberwockian poetic prose by Lewis Carroll as his closing argument for Trump’s defence, the great courtroom orator was implying that his closing argument made about as much sense as the rest of the trial.

But the nuances to be found by this brief speech was totally lost on the politicians and political pundits of 21st Century America on all sides.

Both CNN and Fox News totally ignored Darrow’s address.

As did The Washington Post and The New York Times.

Meanwhile on this day of Senate acquittal of Trump, as the clock ticked down towards midnight in Washington DC, the ghost of Gen. Qassem Soleimani appeared to Utah Sen. Mitt Romney and warned the Republican Senator that there was now a drone with his name on it.

Meanwhile allegations were now surfacing from the Underworld of Hades that the residents of the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, during coffee and lunch breaks from their time roasting away on barbecue spits, had hacked the Iowa Democratic caucus app and had tilted the results towards their own favourite son Pete Buttigieg.

However it was unlikely that Bernie Sanders who did not have the paranoid conspiratorial hysterics of one Hillary Rodham Clinton (who had many years ago tried to imagine the possibility of her husband’s marital infidelity was not real but was rather the result of a vast right wing conspiracy) would cry “Sodom and Gomorrah collusion!”.

Nor was it likely that Robert Mueller would be sent down to Hades to investigate.

On another front, the rock music legend Madonna had had a cream pie thrown in her face.

Her bodyguards (who were sobriety challenged at the time because they had been drinking way too many Harvey Wallbangers) claimed the cream pie assailant was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

The cream pie assault had taken place only hours after Madonna said Prince Harry and Meghan Markle should trade “boring old Canada” for New York City.

Madonna wanted the couple to rent her New York City apartment from her.

How exciting a place New York City is could be seen from the fact that New York Governor Andrew Cuomo was currently burning several pinches of incense in front of statues of Baal and Moloch in the New York City penthouse apartment of a globalist billionaire.

Meanwhile in a jail in London England, an Australian named Uncle Ernie, who was awaiting a courtroom appearance at the Old Bailey, was currently looking at photos of rock star Madonna that he had snapped on his smart phone a while ago.

As he looked at the photos of Madonna and what she was showing, Uncle Ernie recited his own paraphrased version of lines from Edward Lear’s 19th Century poem The Owl and The Pussy-cat, “What a horrible pussy you are, you are, what a horrible pussy you are.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 5th
2020.

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