Donald Trump’s Inspirational Pre-Fry Kim Jong-un Day Speech To U.S. Troops

August 12, 2017 at 3:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Literature, News, Poetry, Satire) (, , , , , , )

Donald Trump’s Inspirational Pre-Fry Kim Jong-Un Day Speech To U.S. Troops

(with apologies to Will Shakespeare and Henry V over the Saint Crispin’s Day speech)

Donald Trump, preparing for war with North Korea, is set to address the troops.

He is informed by the ghost of the late U.S. Army General William Westmoreland that all transgendered enlisted have now left the U.S. Army.

Donald Trump gazing at what’s left says, “We happy few…”

Trump (beginning speech):

What’s he that twitters so?
My heroes don’t die Westmoreland? No, my late General
If we are marked to fry, we are enow
To do our country loss, and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour (if we ignore the lying news media)
My will, I pray me, wish not one man more
By Trump, I am not covetous for gold (for I have plenty already),
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost (whatever the Hell that’s supposed to mean
I’ll have to fire my latest speechwriter or Chief of Staff or press secretary),
It yearns me not if men my garments wear (for I am not transgendered- real men
can wear my garments),
Such outward things dwell not in my desires
(save to grab a fair woman’s ass as I said long years ago),
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive
(wow, this Bill Shakespeare was really prophetic
concerning my Presidency).
No faith my coz (save to attract Bible belt voters), wish not a man from England
(since my campaign slogan was America First!).
Trump’s pence! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more (my VP) methinks would share from me
For the best hope I have (finishing my term without impeachment)
O, do not wish one more!
Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through thy ghost,
That he which hath no stomach for this fight,
Let him depart (or be deported); his passport shall be made (and then revoked!),
And crowns for convoy put into his purse (when he is thrown beyon’ yonder wall);

(At this point the amateur actor Snout from the Midsummer Night’s Theatre Company appears in front of Trump dressed as a brick wall. He has graffiti on his brick wall garment that says Gringoland or Bust!)

Snout (as Wall);

In this same interlude it doth befall
That I, one Snout by name, present a wall;
And such a wall, as I would have you think,…

Trump (pointing): Someone get this idiot out of here! Security! Security! Throw the bum out!

(Snout is grabbed by security and hauled away)

Trump (continues his speech quite literally ghostwritten by William Shakespeare):

We would not die in that man’s company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is called Fry Kim Jong-un Day
(how Saint Hannibal of Lecter celebrated pre-Vatican II teaching on Friday’s culinary diets)
He that shall live this day (shall feel he’s been microwaved) and comes peeling away home
Shall watch his toes fall off when this day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Kim Jong-un.
He that shall live this day (singing Whoa, whoa, I’m radioactive) and welcome the New Age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast on his neighbours (or at least their remains),
And say ‘Tomorrow is Fry Kim Jong-un.’
Then will he strip his sleeve (with his new metallic cyborg hands) and show his scars,
And say, ‘These wounds I had on Fry Kim Jong-un Day.’
Old men forget (sometimes that they’re wearing a toupee); yet all shall be forgot
But he’ll remember, with cancerous sores,
What feets he lost that day. Then shall our names
Familiar in his mouth as decaying teeth-
Donald The Trump, Mattis and Tillerson,
McMaster and Kelly, Ivanka and Jared,
Be in their flowing cups (and streams of blood red) freshly rememb’ red.
This story shall the good man teach his son (Barron, where are you?);
And Fry Kim Jong-un shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world (Trump looks at his watch) “Possibly another hour”,
But we in it shall be remembered (if the lying news media says I’m senile, it’s fake news) –
We few, we happy (but not gay) few, we band of brothers,
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother, be he ne’er so vile (as to be transgendered),
This day shall toughen his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves lucky they were not here,
And hold their (TV) remotes cheap while none will speak
As they watch on the screen the mushroom cloud that fell on Fry Kim Jong-un Day.

-A Shakespearean satirical speech
written by Christopher
Saturday August 12th
2017.

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Haiku About Saint Crispin’s and Saint Crispinian’s Day and The Battle of Agincourt

October 25, 2016 at 2:56 pm (Literature, Plays, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Saint Crispin’s and Saint Crispinian’s Day and The Battle of Agincourt

Henry V led them
Inspires with stirring speech
this blest happy few

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600th Anniversary of Battle of Agincourt

October 25, 2015 at 6:50 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Humour, Literature, Plays, Quotations and Sayings of Dracul Van Helsing) (, , , , , , , )

600th Anniversary of Battle of Agincourt

It was 600 years ago today- October 25th 1415- St. Crispin’s Day- that England’s King Henry V delivered a speech written for him by the yet-to-be- born future playwright William Shakespeare and then went on to defeat French forces at the Battle of Agincourt.

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Haiku About Saint Crispin’s Day

October 25, 2013 at 3:12 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It’s Saint Crispin’s Day

King Hal leads at Agincourt

men those happy few

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