Encore of Dracul, Aphrodite and Ares

May 31, 2018 at 9:14 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote almost a year ago:

Dracul Van Helsing

When Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing returned to his office at MI-6 Diablos Nocturna Division Headquarters, he was surprised to see the Greek goddess Aphrodite sitting there waiting for him.

“Aphrodite,” Dracul said, “What a pleasant surprise. Have you brought more news about Hephaestus?”.

“No,” Aphrodite shook her head, “Hephaestus has given up building missiles for North Korea’s Kim Jong-un. He’s now working on building incredible machines for a steampunk genre sci-fi film about Jack the Ripper escaping down the Thames River in a submarine.”

“I’ll have to see that movie when it comes out,” said Dracul.

“Have you seen the new Wonder Woman film?” Aphrodite asked.

“Not yet,” said Dracul, “but I’d like to. It sounds like an excellent film judging from the reviews. It’s set against the background of the First World War which I’ve recently started studying. The First World War is often overshadowed by World…

View original post 228 more words

Permalink 2 Comments

Encore of Lilith, Asmodeus, Kim Jong-un and Aphrodite

May 30, 2018 at 10:07 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, Nature, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote over a year ago:

Dracul Van Helsing

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith stood on the Mount of Olives overlooking the old city of Jerusalem.

Alongside her was the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf Hitler (his spirit was granted a temporary leave of absence from the Underworld by permission of Hades and Persephone and he had entered and possessed the body of a grey wolf).

Lilith had found the grey wolf wandering the streets of Kiev, Ukraine (where she was currently living) and had adopted the creature as her pet.

She brought him with her to the Holy Land.

“Someday,” Lilith bragged to the grey wolf, “we shall rid this land of all the Jews.”

“Sounds like a splendid idea to me,” the lupine former Fuhrer wagged his tail.

Meanwhile in France, the demon Asmodeus was visiting the village of Rennes-le-Chateau and more specifically the Church of Saint Mary Magdalene.

He had heard that there was a…

View original post 245 more words

Permalink 1 Comment

Hephaestus and The Hwasong-15 Missile

November 29, 2017 at 8:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Hephaestus and The Hwasong-15 Missile

Hephaestus the Greek god of the forge was in his lodgings in Pyongyang the North Korean capital.

He had spent the day building missiles for North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un.

His latest missile was the Hwasong-15 which had just been tested overnight.

Hephaestus had promised his wife Aphrodite a few months ago that he’d stop building missiles for Little Rocket Man Kim but he couldn’t keep his promise.

The problem was Hephaestus had become addicted to drinking a Korean distilled liquor called Munbaeju.

Munbaeju is a traditional distilled liquor made of malted millet, sorghum, wheat, rice and nuruk with a strength of 40% alcohol by volume.

The drink originates in the Pyongyang region of North Korea 🇰🇵 and is noted for its fragrance which is said to resemble the fragrance of the munbae tree (similar to a pear 🍐).

In fact, the name of the drink itself Munbaeju consists of two words munbae (which means “wild pear”) and ju (meaning “alcohol”).

The origins of Munbaeju are traced to the Goryeo Dynasty (Goryeo also spelled Koryo was a kingdom established in 918 AD by King Taejo. This kingdom of Koryo later gave rise to the modern name Korea).

The water used to produce Munbaeju comes from the Taedong River that runs through the North Korean capital of Pyongyang.

Seeing as how living in Pyongyang made Hephaestus close to the source of his beloved Munbaeju drink, he decided to continue building missiles for Kim Jong-un since by doing so, Kim gave the Greek god of the forge all the free Munbaeju he desired.

As for the Hwasong-15 missile Hephaestus had built, it had reached an altitude of 4475 kilometres (2780 miles) and flew 950 kilometres in 53 minutes in its overnight test.

In an analysis, the U.S. based Union of Concerned Scientists concluded that the Hwasong-15 could travel more than 13,000 kilometres thus reaching any part of the continental United States 🇺🇸 including the eastern seaboard or even Washington DC itself.

The conclusion caused a few hairs in Donald Trump’s toupee to turn grey and led him in such a rage that he retweeted a few of the ultra nationalist far-right Britain First videos.

Of course what the overnight test of the Hwasong-15 missile had to do with Muslim immigrants in Britain would only make sense to Trump’s uniquely personal form of reasoning.

As Hephaestus drank some of the Munbaeju, a barking otter soon joined him.

The barking otter was named Jefferey and came from the planet Nibiru (a planet that yes had otters similar to earthling otters).

Jefferey in fact used Munbaeju in the making of his own Otterbury Green Minnow Ale beer.

As the minnows in the Taedong River were quite fond of drinking Munbaeju and turned green after doing so.

Any geopolitical analyst worth his salt (as well as his unwasted margaritas in Margaritaville) would deduce that the alcoholic proclivities of Greek deities, Nibiruan otters and Taedong River minnows could spell unprecedented nuclear disaster for the world.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 29th
2017.

Permalink 14 Comments

Kim Jong-un and The Deity Behind The VX Nerve Agent

March 22, 2017 at 4:35 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

U.S. President Donald Trump was hard at work in the Oval Office.

He was busy tweeting, “@realDonaldTrump Barack Obama not only wiretapped me. He also used drones to spray my hair and change my hair colour so people would think I’m wearing a toupee.”

An aide entered his office, “Mr. President, we’ve found out who’s been manufacturing VX nerve agent for Kim Jong-un. The same VX nerve agent that was used in the assassination of the despot’s half-brother Kim Jong-nam at Kuala Lumpur International Airport in Malaysia.”

President Trump responded, “This is probably a good thing that you’ve found out who’s responsible.”

Meanwhile at the Presidential Palace in Pyongyang, North Korea, KIm Jong-un addressed the Greek deity Hephaestus (known to the Ancient Romans as Vulcan), “Well, Heph baby… say I hope you don’t mind me calling you Heph… I rather like the name Hef… reminds me of Playboy bunnies for some reason… anyhow I just used the VX nerve agent you’ve been making for me to exterminate the incompetents who’ve been in charge of my missile development program. All these missile launch failures start to get embarrassing after a while. Leaves me with egg on my face. I’ve often killed my top chefs and waiters at the palace here for the same reason.”

“Heph is all right,” the Greek god of fire and the forge responded.

“Anyhow after I watched them die from my window while I was enjoying my breakfast of scrambled eggs and egg foo yung, the thought occurred to me maybe I should get you to forge my missiles for me,” Kim Jong-un smiled like a beatific Buddha.

“That can be arranged,” said Hephaestus, “but I’m going to need an awfully big forge.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 22nd
2017.

Permalink 4 Comments