Sekhmet, Set and Bastet

November 17, 2018 at 11:57 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, Radio, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The year was 1938.

It was the month of November.

20 years earlier the Egyptian vampire Set’s tomb had been dug up in Egypt by Oxford trained Egyptologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury.

In fact, Set’s tomb had been opened at exactly 11 AM Greenwich Mean Time on November 11th 1918 (the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month- the same minute the Armistice ending the Great War came into effect).

Set now lived in London, England where he had amassed a fortune.

Set was also one of the world business oligarchs supporting Hitler.

Not because Set was a Nazi.

But because Set thought Hitler would destroy Stalin.

Set hated Stalin because Stalin had arranged the murder of Set’s mortal fiancee back in 1924.

Sir Winston Churchill knew that Sol Invictus Set (as the wealthy businessman Egyptian vampire called himself in London circles) supported Hitler.

Churchill happened to run into the Egyptian lion headed goddess Sekhmet in the Egyptology section of the British Museum library one evening.

Sekhmet agreed to spy on Set for Churchill.

The goddess turned herself into an Egyptian teen-aged girl calling herself Sekhmeta and showed up at Set’s doorstep claiming to be a distant descendant of Horus (who was Set’s nephew) thus making herself Set’s niece (a great great great x great niece several times over).

Set agreed to let Sekhmeta stay with him.

One night 80 years ago, Set caught Sekhmeta listening to American jazz and jive music on the radio instead of doing her homework.

Set promptly administered a spanking.

Rubbing her behind and reaching for a pillow, Sekhmeta said to Set, “I’ll get you for that, Uncle Set.”

“I’m sure you will,” Set laughed.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet was rising up behind an FBI agent and his girlfriend in a movie theatre to strike.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 17th
2018.

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Adolf Hitler: The Opera: Interlude Between Act I scene i and Act I scene ii

December 22, 2016 at 6:39 pm (History, Music, Musicals, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Adolf Hitler: The Opera: Interlude Between Act I scene i and Act I scene ii

Renfield R. Renfield has decided to put in an interlude between Act I scene i and Act I scene ii for the opera on Adolf Hitler he was commissioned to write.

In this interlude, an actor who looks a lot like the late Ugandan dictator Idi Amin but who has a singing voice that sounds much like singer Harry Belafonte stands on stage between acts and sings the following song:

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Adolf?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He killed a lot of people but the evil they die middle aged
I just looked around and he’s gone.

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Josef?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He killed a lot of people but the evil they die somewhat old
I just looked around and he’s gone

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Mao?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He killed a lot of people but the evil they die elderly
(particularly if they’re Asian- must be that rice diet)
I just looked around and he’s gone

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Kim?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
You’re probably asking me which one?
But to me, North Korean despots all look the same
I just look around and they all look the same

* * *

At this point, Amadeus Emanon stopped reading Renfield’s script.

Said Amadeus while munching on a chocolate eclair, “I’m amazed at the way you were able to work politically incorrect ethnic stereotypes into a song that was already politically incorrect in its praise of despotic dictators.”

“I know,” Renfield grinned, “I just can’t help being a genius.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 22nd
2016.

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Belvedere and The Nazi-Soviet Pact

August 24, 2016 at 4:27 pm (Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Poetry, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

On August 23rd 1939, Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander was working as a performer in a Berlin cabaret that was in danger of being closed by the Nazis due to what Josef Goebbels considered subversive activity inside.

As Belvedere was about to begin performing, he was informed of the signing of the Nazi-Soviet Pact also known as the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact in Moscow- which guaranteed a pact of non-aggression between the Nazi and Soviet regimes.

Belvedere decided to change his song from Der Fuhrer Has A Stupid Moustache and Haircut (which was a popular hit with the cabaret’s subversive audiences) to a song that would parody the recent signing of the pact between Hitler and Stalin.

Belvedere appeared on stage as the Ghost White Salamander of the New World (since he was the ghost of a ghost white salamander from the New World) and started singing:

Only yesterday, yes it was only yesterday
Naziism was the anti-Communist way
Communism was the anti-Fascist way
Hitler and Stalin would not dance
and in one another’s arms lay
but alas, that was yesterday

Now Hitler with his bad haircut
and Stalin with his vodka shaped gut
will leave the rest of the world in a rut
Yes, Stalin with his moustache bushy like a walrus
and Hitler who looks like someone who just fell off the bus
will now kiss and make up
two devils will now sup
what blood will now flow from this cup
when opposing serpents dance together
you can expect stormy weather
Blood showers are called for
innocent people will hit the floor
in the Hitlerian-Stalinesque bath of gore….

At that moment, Belvedere’s performance came to an end as the cabaret was raided by irate looking members of the Gestapo.

Fortunately for Belvedere, since he was a ghost, he was able to vanish into thin air.

Patrons in the audience weren’t so lucky.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 23rd 2016.

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Fuhrer’s Furious Descent To Hell- 70 Years Later

April 30, 2015 at 7:25 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Fuhrer’s Furious Descent To Hell- 70 Years Later

Renfield R. Renfield and Amadeus Emanon were listening to the radio.

Said the announcer, “It was 70 years ago today that Nazi Germany’s Fuhrer Adolf Hitler committed suicide only hours after he married his mistress Eva Braun…”

“What numerous assassination attempts over the years failed to accomplish, marriage succeeded in doing in a few hours,” remarked Renfield.

. . .

In the room in the Fuhrerbunker, Hitler addressed Goebbels, “Have the crystals been safely buried?”.

Goebbels had only heard about the crystals from the Fuhrer the night before.

Apparently the crystals had been found in the Himalayas on a Nazi SS Occult Bureau expedition to Tibet back in 1937.

The crystals were said to pick up energy from people’s thoughts and consciousness so when the crystals were brought to Berlin in 1938, Hitler said the crystals would absorb and contain the energies of the Third Reich.

The crystals were stored away in the back rooms of a Berlin Museum.

But with the Soviets advancing on Berlin, Hitler had given the order that the crystals be removed from Berlin
and buried deep in the ground at a distant farmhouse.

Hitler was convinced the crystals would rise from the ground 70 years to the day after his death and the energies of his Reich would once again be unleashed on the world.

He had asked Goebbels this past evening to get in radio contact with the SS officer who had been entrusted with the task to make sure it had been done.

Goebbels had just received confirmation on the wireless.

He came to tell his Fuhrer.

“Thank you, Josef,” the Fuhrer shook his hand, “you’ve been a good and loyal servant.”

Hitler then closed the bedroom door.

Goebbels heard the sound of gun shots coming from the room.

. . .

The farmer was shocked as he took a mid-afternoon walk on his farm on this last day of April in the Year of Our Lord 2015.

There standing in his pasture were huge crystal stones that he had never seen before.

It was as if they had just risen magically out of the ground.

. . .

Inside the old German farmhouse, the farm wife was listening to an old radio broadcast from Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen that was available on the Internet.

Sheen commented during the broadcast, “Dictators are like boils, superficial manifestations of an inner rottenness. They would never come to the surface if there had not been the proper conditions in the world from which they came.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 30th
2015.

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Haiku Written On 75th Anniversary of The Nazi Invasion of Poland

September 1, 2014 at 4:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

Haiku Written On The 75th Anniversary of The Nazi Invasion of Poland

Hitler grabs Poland
clouds of war engulf Europe
rest of world follows

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Magog Rhys Petley On Walpurgis Night

April 30, 2014 at 6:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Magog Rhys Petley On Walpurgis Night

Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley awoke in a daze.

He gathered from the conversation around him that he was in some sort of luxurious penthouse apartment.

After a few more moments of listening to the conversation around him, he gathered that this luxurious penthouse apartment he was in must be on Park Avenue in New York City.

Banners flowing from the ceiling said tonight is Walpurgis Night.

Walpurgis Night? Magog thought to himself, wasn’t that April 30th?

Wasn’t that the date Hitler shot himself? he wondered.

He suddenly noticed a huge poster on the wall that said, R.I.P. Adolf.

What sort of sicko mourns the passing of Hitler? Magog wondered.

He gathered that the party’s host was hiding behind a set of dark black curtains while the guests chatted to the curtains.

How did he get here to this particular Park Avenue penthouse apartment in New York City? Magog wondered.

The last thing he remembered was being in a Moscow street where he was attacked by a very sexy Russian Vampiress.

He had the feeling that was over a couple of weeks ago and that a lot had happened since.

But Magog couldn’t remember what.

“Unfortunately gentlemen,” the man behind the curtains intoned, “despite my offer and the high fee I was willing to pay her, the world-famous New Orleans songstress Angelique Dumont refused to be with us this evening to entertain us with her singing voice and her… other assets.”

The crowd groaned.

Magog himself was disappointed.

He was a big fan of Miss Angelique Dumont having seen her in several musicals in the theatre district of West London.

In fact Magog often had sexual fantasies about Miss Angelique Dumont.

“Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling couldn’t be with us this evening either,” the man behind the curtains announced, “as the post card someone recently sent him from New York City was a post card of Harlem which showed a lot of black men walking the streets.”

Magog helped himself to a piece of cheddar cheese that the Afro-American butler offered him.

“Gentlemen,” the man behind the curtains raised an inflatable balloon in the shape of a giant glass of champagne above the curtains, “I give you the future Fuhrer of the world.”

Who the Hell is the future Fuhrer of the world? Magog wondered.

And why the Hell was everyone in the room looking at him for?

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 30th
2014.

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Haiku About Hegelian Synthesis of Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union

March 22, 2014 at 3:20 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Politics) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Hegelian Synthesis of Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union

Hitler + Stalin
Hegel’s dialectics equals
Vladimir Putin

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Haiku About Hitler’s Ghost In March 2014

March 6, 2014 at 8:13 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Hitler’s Ghost In March 2014

Hitler on Putin:
Russian who learned from German
I did it my way!

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