The Clock of Thoth: A Poem

January 14, 2019 at 11:53 pm (Art, Arts, Film, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, love, Movies, Mythology, News, Philosophy, Poetry, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


Tefna listening to the sound of the Clock of Thoth tick.

The young woman called Tefna
was in her apartment bedroom
listening to the sound of
the Clock of Thoth tick

A clock designed by her father
A master clock maker
At the stroke and bong of each hour
Two figures would come out
The first was Thoth
The ibis headed ancient Egyptian god
Of the moon, magic and writing
And of course the Egyptian god who
was the recorder of time

The other figure was an Egyptian Pharaoh
who bore the likeness of the young
Actor/Director Orson Welles
The year was 1945
The date was August 6th
Feast of the Transfiguration
On the Church calendar
When Christ showed his Divine Deity
To his Apostles Peter, James and John

Tefna awaited news on what would become of her fiance
a sailor in the U.S. Navy still involved in the War In The Pacific
against Japan
Thor’s lightning bolt insigna warriors in Germany
had surrendered months earlier
but no word yet on those who fought for the ancient gods of Japan

A young American scientist J. Robert Oppenheimer
was seeking to become the Hindu god Shiva
The destroyer and transformer of worlds
But Tefna was unaware of him and his plans
And what they could possibly mean for her
As she listened to the ticking of the Clock of Thoth
On the wall
Tick-tock! Tick-tock!
As she always did at this same time every night
Before she went to bed

In the apartment next door
Hera the divine goddess queen of the Olympians
awaited the report of an immortal private eye
Carson Cody Albion

The Greek goddess Hera- that’s Juno to the ancient Romans!

She had suspected her husband Zeus
was getting it on with the modern goddesses
of the silver screen in Hollywood
The fact that she had heard him talking on the phone
seeking to borrow swan and bull costumes
from studio costume departments
only added to her suspicions.

In the apartment on the other side of Tefna
sat Hestia the Greek goddess of hearth and home

Hestia suspected that hearth and home would come to be neglected in America following the war
As both men and women followed Mammon
the ancient Babylonian god of banking and commerce
Who had helped America defeat Thor’s modern worshippers

All these things were unfolding in the building around Tefna
As she listened to the sound of the Clock of Thoth
tick on the wall

Tick-tock! Tick-tock! went the Clock of Thoth on the wall
As Tefna listened.

The Greek goddess Athena was there in black and white

on the silver screen
in the old repertory movie theatre
in West Hollywood
on January 14th
when Dracul Van Helsing
entered the theatre
and entered the screen
and then entered Athena
to sample hidden portals of wisdom

In the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London
Dashwood Forrest looked at the painting
of Demeter
The Greek goddess of fields, crops and agriculture
looking down on a field of 19th Century French peasant women
Bringing in the sheaves for harvest

Looking at the painting
Dashwood Forrest was shocked to see and hear
Demeter speak to the French women,
What sort of powerful magician could seduce my Persephone
away from her husband

As Athena found tantric sex to be a tantalizing experience
On the silver screen in a West Hollywood repertory theatre
actress Akira Lane was showing a robotics maker
fresh from a technology show in Las Vegas
what wonders old technology could do
when blended with ancient magic
As an Irish Jewish science-fiction writer
George Finneganburg
hastily took notes

Meanwhile in a London casino
Former British Labour MP
The Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley
(whose seat was now held by
British Transhumanist MP
Welsh vampiress Morgana)
walked in on an unexpected orgy
taking place on a casino table

The casino’s kinky quartet looked at him, smiled
and advised him not to miss Lord L’s
Super Wolf Blood Moon Party
in Washington DC
next Sunday night

with the brunette in short skirt and black silk fishnet pantyhose
Sitting atop the casino table
telling him not to miss it for the world

Renfield R. Renfield MP
had just finished writing his speech to move
a motion of non-confidence in Theresa May’s government
following the Brexit vote in the Westminster Parliament tomorrow
When suddenly he walked out into his Parliamentary office
waiting room
Where the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh

was waiting for him

Causing Renfield to burst the zipper on his trousers
When he saw her
He would have to buy himself a new suit
to deliver the speech in Parliament tomorrow

It was a moonlit night in Port Elizabeth South Africa
As the great South African artist SAREJESS
sat in the middle of the street with his easel and canvas
and paintbrush and paints
(praying that no motorists would be driving down the street this late at night to abruptly and undoubtedly painfully put an end to his lunar nocturnal painting expedition)
and painted what he saw

He would paint this quiet tranquil scene
before the ghost of a brontosaurus showed up
and walked across the street
And before the ghost ship of THE ghost ship
The Flying Dutchman
appeared on the surface of the water
on the horizon in the distance
As he sat there painting the canvas,
he wondered whether his wife and family were right
to think he was crazy

And there at one moment in time
somewhere in time
sat Tefna
always anxiously sitting on the bed
always anxiously awaiting for the phone to ring
to bring her news of her love
Same place
Same time
Night after night

but no sound of a phone ringing
Only the sound of the Clock of Thoth ticking
Tick-tock! Tick-tock!

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 14th
2019.

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Rahaf al-Qunun Granted Asylum In Canada

January 11, 2019 at 11:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield drank a toast in champagne with his fellow British Transhumanist Party caucus MP the Welsh vampiress Morgana over the fact that Saudi woman Rahaf al-Qunun was being able to toast her new found freedom in red wine aboard a flight from Bangkok Thailand (via Seoul South Korea) to Toronto.

Toasting her new found freedom in red wine would no doubt cause many extremist Wahhabi imams in Saudi Arabia to roll over in their soaked liquid filled mattresses (caused by nocturnal and daytime emissions brought about by visualized thoughts of the 72 dark eyed houri promised them).

Earlier this evening, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that the Canadian federal government would be granting refugee status to Miss Rahaf al-Qunun in Canada.

After having made the announcement, Justin spent a few minutes wondering about what had become of his beloved cannabis marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever.

The pot smoking and prickly little fellow had been kidnapped last month by Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (the daughter of well known 1920s and ’30s mad scientist Dr. Fu Manchu of Sax Rohmer narrative fame) in retaliation for last month’s arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou by Canadian authorities on the orders of the “jealous because we’re lagging behind China in developing 5G networks” U.S. government.

Justin Trudeau missed conversing with the rather silent little fellow but more importantly missed the cannabis smoke exhaled by the greenhouse creature with the prickly disposition.

Inhaling all that smoke would allow him to converse with the ET gray Gali-Gula from planet Nibiru (who was possessed by the spirit of the ancient earthling Roman Emperor Caligula).

For some reason, the Canadian Prime Minister was only able to see the odd looking and eccentric gray little creature when he had been inhaling pot.

Justin was seeking Gali-Gula’s advice on who he should get to replace Scott Brison as President of the Canadian Treasury Board next Monday.

As Renfield sipped the champagne (and wondered whether 2004 was a good year as far as the French champagne growers were concerned), he thought of his good friend the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh who was the pearl white sparkling incisors smiling vampirically immortal granddaughter of the late Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh.

Renfield and Ho had recently worked together in poisoning Apple CEO Tim Cook (again in retaliation for the arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou at Vancouver International Airport).

Ho Babylon Minh was the one responsible for tonight’s happy conclusion in the Rahaf al-Qunun case.

When Rahaf al-Qunun had been detained by Thai authorities at Bangkok International Airport back on January 6th and a Saudi diplomat had confiscated her passport (no doubt with the same wanna be enthusiastic charm shown towards Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi at the Saudi consulate in Istanbul back in October), Ho Babylon Minh had rushed to Thailand to converse with her friend the King of Thailand.

As a result of Ho’s intervention, Miss Rahaf’s deportation back to Saudi Arabia was delayed.

If Miss Rahaf had been sent back to Saudi Arabia, it would most likely have been a race between her family and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman’s rather extensively large diplomatic janitorial cleaning service to see who could kill her first.

The United Nations Commission on Human Rights intervened and granted Rahaf al-Qunun refugee status.

Causing Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman to burst a blood vessel in his middle finger as he was examining plans for a Mark of the Beast system to be implemented for future citizens of his proposed autonomous NEOM economic zone along the Red Sea.

And now Rahaf al-Qunun was headed towards a new life in Toronto Canada.

. . .

U.S. President Donald Trump was lying in bed when suddenly the ghost of Sir Laurence Olivier appeared in front of him.

Olivier was portraying the role of Tom Snout a character in William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Tom Snout was a tinker and one of the “mechanicals” of Athens an amateur theatre troupe putting on Pyramus and Thisbe a play within a play within A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Snout played the part of the wall separating Pyramus and Thisbe in Pyramus and Thisbe.

Olivier as Tom Snout as the Wall spoke thus,

In this same interlude it doth befall
That I, one Snout by name, present a wall…

With that a 219 inch colour TV built by Samsung appeared in mid-air.

“It may cost anywhere between $10,000 and $100,000
but far cheaper than $5.7 billion which only a knave and an ass would spend…”

Trump started screaming as his toupee suddenly became infested with the same black coloured crickets and cockroaches that had suddenly and mysteriously infested Mecca within the past few days.

Lexington his butler and valet entered the Presidential bedroom as Trump’s secret service bodyguards were fast asleep as they were no longer being paid due to the government shutdown.

“Is there something the matter, sir?” Lexington called out in the darkness.

“I’m having to shampoo my hair with a blow torch,” Trump cried back.

“Very good, sir,” Lexington closed the door and went back to bed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 11th
2019.


Rahaf al-Qunun: Off to a new life in Canada.

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Renfield and Ho Babylon Minh Torture Islamist Terrorists and Discuss Donald Trump

January 5, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )


Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh returning from a lunch of tea and crumpets at a trendy London tea shop to rejoin British MP Renfield R. Renfield in torturing 14 captured Egyptian Islamist terrorists in vengeance for last year’s December 28th terrorist attack on a Vietnamese tourist bus near the pyramids at Giza.

Ho Babylon Minh had to admit that crumpets with tea was indeed very good.

A quaint British custom that Ho found very alluring.

She also had to admit that she enjoyed working with British MP Renfield R. Renfield who seemed to have incorporated the best of oriental and occidental methods of torture.

It was nice to meet a Western politican who was capable of bringing the best of East and West together- albeit in a manner that groups such as Amnesty and Human Rights International would have found quite alarming.

The first time she and Renfield had worked together was last month when they had successfully poisoned Apple CEO Tim Cook in retaliation for the American government ordered pot smoking Canadian assisted arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou at Vancouver International Airport.

A lifelike AI robot lookalike of Tim Cook who looked and sounded exactly like Mr. Cook (one that had been built for Apple by Samsung because since Steve Jobs’ death, Apple had become incapable of building anything good) had unfortunately been crushed when a television camera from the Goodyear blimp fell on top of it at the start of the New Year.

Now Apple was squandering whatever profits it currently makes nowadays in an effort to pay Samsung to speedily reproduce a replacement.

The official Apple line was Mr. Cook was currently indisposed.

Whether this was due to a cold or a recent visit to a San Francisco health spa and steam baths, the Apple communique did not elaborate.

When Ho Babylon Minh heard about the devastating Islamist terrorist attack on her countrymen that killed 4 people and injured another 10, she immediately phoned Renfield for comfort.

Renfield said that he’d send his own private brigade of British Army Gurkhas (that was granted him under special arrangements with the Crown) to fly to Egypt clandestinely and capture 14 Islamist terrorists (the exact same number as those who were killed or injured on the Vietnamese tourist bus) and fly them back to Britain where they would be subject to Renfield’s own unique version of homespun British hospitality.

He invited Ho Babylon Minh to join him in the fun and games.

Ho gratefully accepted.

The very intricate torture procedures were of course recorded and filmed.

Renfield’s computers sent the imagery and sounds to various Islamist terrorist sites on the Net with the message, “This is what waits for you, you syphilis infested scumbags should you think of doing stuff like this.”

This particular Renfieldian torture for this occasion was done with robots.

As the others sat tied to chairs and watched behind locked glass, a terrorist was brought in and then strapped to a table.

A robot then put a small explosive into one of the terrorist’s limbs (be it an arm or leg) and then the explosive was detonated much to the terrorist’s chagrin.

The robot then sprayed fire into the resulting hole that would cauterize the blood flow and prevent the terrorist from bleeding to death.

The procedure was then repeated with the terrorist’s remaining limbs.

Finally after all four limbs had been blown off the terrorist’s body, an AI sex robot designed by Dr. Cadbury Rocher to look like one of the 72 dark eyed houri promised them in the Islamic Paradise approached them.

Seeing as how their head and their phallus was the only thing that remained on the terrorist’s body, the dark eyed houri sex robot mounted their phallus and then thrust herself upon him until he came.

In the background, Renfield played the song She’ll Be Coming Around The Mountain When She Comes.

When the terrorist came, so did the dark eyed houri sex robot.

However when the dark eyed houri sex robot came, her vaginal juices emitted a highly concentrated combination of both sulphuric and hydrochloric acid.

Needless to say, the terrorist found it an excruciatingly painful experience.

In the background, Renfield played an old and rare vintage album recording of W.C. Fields singing Frankly, I’d Rather Be In Philadelphia.

Finally a slow moving rotating saw was brought in to slowly cut off the Islamist terrorist’s head as Renfield played in the background the song As Time Goes By as sung by Dooley Wilson in the 1942 film Casablanca.

When this went on after 14 times, Renfield read on his Huawei smart phone that Donald Trump was once again stating that all those government employees who no longer had a paycheque coming in would continue to support him even if the shutdown went on for years because they all supported the idea of a wall with Mexico (which Trump had promised voters that Mexico would pay for when he was running for President).

“Donald Trump is an idiot,” Renfield stated aloud in a remark that Ho Babylon Minh thought was a brilliant grasp of the obvious.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 5th
2019.

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Stone Altar To Jerusalem 3rd Temple Dedicated

December 10, 2018 at 11:54 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


A Russian girl picks apples from the Russian Apple Tree of Death in Sevastopol, Crimea

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was in San Francisco California along with the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (the immortal granddaughter of the late Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh and an intelligence operative for the Chinese Intelligence Service) in order to deliver deadly lethal poisoned apples (grown on the Russian Apple Tree of Death in Sevastopol Crimea) to Apple CEO Tim Cook in California’s Silicone Valley (not to be confused with the space between a California female porn star’s breasts) as vengeance for the U.S. government ordering the arrest of Huawei executive and Chief Financial Officer Meng Wanzhu in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

Already several U.S. and Canadian government officials had died under mysterious circumstances since the arrest of Meng Wanzhu in the escalating trade and technology war between the U.S. and China.

Quite possibly the last of Chief Papaschase’s prophecies of three world wars were coming to pass.

Chief Papaschase was a Cree First Nations Chief who lived in both the Lesser Slave Lake and Edmonton areas of northern Alberta, Canada.

In the Edmonton Bulletin newspaper in 1906, Chief Papaschase told the editor of a vision he had of three world wars that had been given him by the Great Spirit.

The first World War would see Britian, France, Italy, Russia and the U.S. fighting against Germany, the Austro-Hungarian Empire and the Ottoman Empire.

The Second World War would see Britain, France, Russia, the U.S. and China fighting against Germany, Italy and Japan.

Back in the 1990s, George Milner a member of the City of Edmonton History and Archives Board was given the task of presenting Chief Papaschase’s descendants with a City of Edmonton recognition award for his contributions to the development of the City of Edmonton.

The award would be presented by Mr. Milner to Papaschase’s descendants at the City of Edmonton History and Archives Board’s Annual Historical Recognition Awards Dinner.

The Gladieu (also spelled Gladue) family of northern Alberta and northern Saskatchewan (who were all descended from the great Chief Papaschase) had numerous representatives on hand at the dinner to receive the award on behalf of their ancestor.

While researching the life of Chief Papaschase for the speech he was to give, Mr. Milner was startled to discover in a copy of the Edmonton Bulletin newspaper from 1906 a description of the vision of three world wars that Chief Papaschase gave to Edmonton Bulletin editor Frank Oliver of a revelation he said he had received from the Great Spirit.

Mr. Milner was stunned by the sheer accuracy of the prophecies of the two world wars.

Unlike Nostradamus (or as a former DARPA employee called the writer of confused and confusing quatrains Nostril Dumb Ass), Chief Papaschase named names and didn’t equivocate.

Mr. Milner alluded to the prophecies in his dinner speech very briefly as he didn’t want the sensation of the vision to obscure Chief Papaschase’s other achievements in northern Alberta history.

As for the vision of the Third World War, Mr. Milner told the vision to his son.

The Third World War, Chief Papaschase noted would begin initially as a war of trade, technology and industrial espionage with China and Russia on one side vs. the U.S., Western Europe and Japan on the other.

Then admist a backdrop of tensions in the Crimean Peninsula on the Black Sea and religious and political tensions in the Middle East, the trade and technology war between the U.S. and China would suddenly erupt into open hostility and military conflict and warfare as a result of an incident that happened on Canada’s West Coast.

Papaschase did not say what that incident would be.

However with the recent arrest of Huawei Chief Financial Officer Meng Wanzhu in Vancouver, British Columbia while conflict in the Crimean Peninsula region of the Black Sea and religious and poltical tensions in the Middle East were reaching a crescendo it suddenly hit George Milner’s son that this may have been the scenario that Chief Papaschase saw prior to the outbreak of the military aspect of World War III.

Which may also explain why George Milner’s son has had such immense problems with demonically possessed roommates the past year and an inoperative iPhone and a gradually failing Samsung Galaxy tablet the past couple of months (as well as Fascism, Communism and all around totalitarianism on the part of the Calgary Public Library system) as he is probably one of the few human beings on Earth aware of the prophecies made by Chief Papaschase back in 1906.

As Renfield and Ho set out to poison Apple’s Cook with poisoned apples picked from the Russian Apple Tree of Death in Sevastopol Crimea (a tree genetically developed by Dr. Nicht Werhoffen the chief scientist of the Russian FSB who used to be the chief scientist for the East German Stasi back in the days when Communist East Germany existed as a country), British Prime Minister Theresa May stood in the Westminster House of Commons and announced that she was cancelling tomorrow’s Commons vote on her Brexit deal.

Ostensibly because she was going to lose the vote.

But also because Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was anxious to find out what Renfield’s position on the deal was and Renfield was out of the country trying to save Canada’s national political sovereignty from the Trump Administration of the U.S.

Meanwhile in Jerusalem Israel, the Mossad agent they called the Controller of the Golem stood on the Temple Mount watching kohanim (priestly members) of Israel’s nascent Sanhedrin dedicate a stone altar to the Third Temple in Jersualem on the Temple Mount.

They were doing it today December 10th (which is the last day of Hannukah this year).

Meanwhile the ghost of Thomas Merton (the famous 20th Century American Trappist monk, writer, poet and mystic who had died 50 years ago today as a result of accidental electrocution by a Hitachi floor fan in his Bangkok Thailand retreat center room where he was attending an ecumenical monastic conference and dialogue between Catholic and Buddhist monks although Episcopalian (and former Dominican priest) Matthew Fox made the claim in 2016 that Merton was actually assassinated by the American CIA) had been granted temporary dispensational leave from Purgatory and Paradise by Hades the god of the Underworld (since Pope Francis was currently out to lunch as he had been since the start of his pontificate) to attend the dedication ceremony.

As Merton stood there, he was shocked to see the demons Baphomet and Beelzebub standing to the left of the Third Temple stone altar dedication ceremony.

What, Merton wondered, were they doing there?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 10th
2018.

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Much Ado About Meng Wanzhou

December 8, 2018 at 11:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )


Meng Wanzhou: The Face That Launched A Thousand Deaths

Retribution was swift.

Numerous leading officials in the U.S. State, Justice, Trade and Commerce Departments were found dead with poisoned chopsticks inserted into their necks.

Donald Trump woke up in horror to discover that someone had put chicken fried rice and sweet and sour pork spare ribs in his toupee.

Officials at both the Canadian and U.S. Embassies in Beijing had come down with the worst cases of diarrhea in all recorded history.

The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (the immortal daughter of the infamous Dr.Fu Manchu Manchu that British writer Sax Rohmer had written about) had gone to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s greenhouse in Ottawa and wearing a pair of metallic spiked leather gloves had kidnapped Justin’s beloved pot smoking and cannabis inhaling cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever. He would be released upon the release of Huawei executive and Chief Financial Officer Meng Wanzhou from a Canadian prison. Distraught, a tearful Justin had called an emergency Federal Canadian Cabinet meeting on the issue. He was thinking of evoking the Emergency War Measures Act like his father Pierre Elliot had done when British Trade Commissioner James Cross and Quebec Labour Minister Pierre Laporte had been kidnapped by the FLQ back in October 1970.

His Foreign Minister Chrystia Freeland slapped Justin’s face and told him to get a grip on reality.


The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu just prior to putting on a pair of spiked metallic leather gloves and kidnapping the Canadian Prime Ministerial official marijuana pot smoking and cannabis inhaling cactus plant of Justin Trudeau.


Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland forced to slap Justin’s face when he started babbling about calling upon the ET gray Gali-Gula and an invasion fleet from planet Nibiru for help.

Meanwhile Australian poet David Redpath was happy to report that Strawberry Fields Forever’s two pot smoking and cannabis inhaling desert cactus plant children (a son named Octopi Garden and a left leaning daughter named Octopi Wall Street) were both safe and sound in his home in Australia.

Apparently Redpath’s once buying the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (the granddaughter of Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh and a woman who now worked for the Chinese Intelligence Service) some green tea and a Vietnamese pork submarine sandwich in a Sydney restaurant had put the poet in Ho’s good books.

Meanwhile leading officials in the Vancouver Crown Prosecutor’s office were now dying en masse after their marijuana cigarettes were all laced with arsenic by Chinese agents.

Similarly RCMP officers and CSIS agents were keeling over by the bucket load (before they had the chance to complete their bucket lists) all across Canada after egg rolls and chop suey they had received had all been heavily laced with polonium-210.

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher refused to provide them with the antidote to polonium-210 poisoning that he had developed since his boss the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was personal friends with Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu.

And so numerous orphans and widows were being created in Canada and numerous undertakers and funeral homes would be doing a booming business in Canada next week as a result of the cowardly Justin Trudeau’s surrender of Canadian national sovereignty to America’s Trump Administration and its unilateral embargo against Iran.

Justin was doing this all for a man who belittled and ridiculed him (the ghosts of Sigmund Freud and Alfred Kinsey were both speculating that Justin might be a latent homosexual masochist with a cougee like infatuation and obsession with the older man).

And Trump was following a stringent anti-Iran agenda because his ultimate dream in life was to continously kiss the buttocks of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Truly the days of Sodom and Gomorrah were upon the world as Christ prophesied would be one of the signs of his 2nd Coming.

And speaking of Sodom and Gomorrah, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the Chinese Intelligence Service operative Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh were now in San Francisco to deliver a poisoned apple to Apple CEO Tim Cook on behalf of the Chinese government.


Ho Babylon Minh: Bearing poisoned apples to Cook.

Meanwhile in British Columbia, the Vancouver International Airport was undergoing massive aerial bombardment of seagull droppings from 10 million Chinese seagulls.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 8th
2018.

And down in Mexico City, the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was engaging in tantric sex with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec (who had dyed her hair blonde for a TV commercial she had been appearing in)

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Michelangelo Names The Winners of The 2018 U.S. Midterms

November 5, 2018 at 11:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, love, News, Politics, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

“It was 50 years ago today that Richard M. Nixon was elected President of the United States,” Amadeus Emanon read aloud from the This Day In History column.

“One thing I always liked about Nixon,” Renfield remarked as he fed his goldfish called Checkers that a voter had given him, “is his insightful analysis in his statement, “That whole Bohemian Grove thing is the faggiest god damned thing you can imagine. I never shake hands with anybody who comes from San Francisco anymore.” And as a result of Nixon’s advice, I’ve never ever shaken hands with anybody who comes from San Francisco.”

“Well, that would certainly prevent you from picking up any Nancy Pelosi girl fleas,” Amadeus noted.

“Or dog fleas either,” Renfield rubbed the fur of the Set household’s pet cat Nefertiti Galore.

“Wasn’t the Bohemian Grove the place where Henry Kissinger went running around nude in the woods?” Amadeus asked.

“Yes and a bunch of California redwood trees have been treated for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder ever since,” Renfield remarked as he received a nude photo text message from Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh that had just the opposite effect that Kissinger had on the trees.

As both the goldfish Checkers and the cat Nefertiti Galore went into their respective states of shock upon seeing Renfield’s bulging erection, Amadeus remarked, “I see the psychic lobster Michelangelo has named the winners of tomorrow’s U.S. midterm elections.”

Amadeus had just received a text message from Dr. Cadbury Rocher down at the Set Enterprises lab.

“And who will the winners be?” asked Renfield who being genetically created in a lab had no mother to warn him about what physical activities might cause blindness.

Amadeus putting on a pair of welder’s dark glasses replied, “It was rather strange. Michelangelo in rather vague Delphi oracle like terms said “Both Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders will come out the winners.”

“Maybe what that means,” Renfield ejaculated both wisdom and a more physical substance, “is that the Republicans will maintain control of the House or the Senate or both while of those Democrats who are elected, a great many of them will support Bernie Sanders for the Democratic Presidential Nomination in 2020.”

“You might have something there,” Amadeus admitted.

“What I need right now,” Renfield stumbled around, “is the phone number for the nearest optometrist. I feel the need to book an appointment.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 5th
2018.


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in a poster warning about the hazards of snow blindness.

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Cooking With Ricardo: A Short Story

May 29, 2018 at 10:59 pm (Short Story) (, , , , )

Cooking With Ricardo: A Short Story

The Food Channel on television in North America had just started a new program called Cooking With…

Each week would feature a new guest chef 👩‍🍳 👨‍🍳.

And the program for that day would be called Cooking With… whatever the guest chef’s name was.

For example, if the guest chef’s name was Carmen, the program would be called Cooking With Carmen. 👩‍🍳

If the guest chef’s name was Antoine, the program would be called Cooking With Antoine. 👨‍🍳

If the guest chef happened to be a politician of some sort or other, the program would be called Cooking With Gas.

Today’s program was called Cooking With Ricardo.

Food Channel Announcer: Welcome to today’s guest chef episode on the food channel Cooking With Ricardo. And now… here’s our guest chef… Ricardo.

Guest Chef: Today, I’m going to show you how to cook Vietnamese Style Pork Chops. Yes if you’re Donald Trump and you’ve just invited the President of the Islamic Republic of Iran 🇮🇷 over to your White House to bury the hatchet, nothing will seal friendlier relations between the Iranian and U.S. governments in the future than a delicious 😋 meal of Vietnamese style pork chops. While you’re at it, invite Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu over for dinner as well. I’m sure Vietnamese Style Pork Chops would be considered very kosher by the leading Orthodox rabbis in Israel.

(The guest chef emits a loud belch)

Guest Chef: Excuse me. That Johnnie Walker whisky 🥃 tasted as good coming up as it did going down. Now, I got this recipe for Vietnamese Style Pork Chops from my former Vietnamese girlfriend Ho Babylon Minh who broke up with me for some reason after watching her first Ron Jeremy porn film. She claimed Ron Jeremy had something I didn’t. I don’t know what that is. She also broke up later on with a house painter named Bill Campbell for the same reason.

Now for the Vietnamese Pork Chops Ho Babylon Minh style you use 4 pork chops although you can use other kinds of meat 🍖 🥩 as well as I sometimes do.

Okay,

The ingredients-

4 pork chops- bone 🍖 about 1 inch thick although Ho preferred her bones a lot thicker.
2 red bell peppers 🌶 seeded and quartered.
1/3 cup mirin.
2 tbsp rice vinegar.
1 tbsp sambal oelek or to taste (Ho told me I didn’t have any).
1 English cucumber 🥒 seeded and cut into small sticks.
2 cups thinly sliced red cabbage.
Hoisin sauce (optional).
Salt and pepper.

Directions-

1- Preheat the grill setting the burners to High. Brush oil onto the grate.

2- Oil the meat and bell peppers then season with salt and pepper.

3- Grill the meat about 5 minutes on each side or until medium rare. Set aside on a plate and let rest for 5 minutes.

4- Meanwhile grill the peppers on each side.

5- In a small bowl combine the mirin, rice vinegar and sambal oelek.

6- Place the chops on serving plates. Serve with the cucumber and roasted peppers. Add the red cabbage over the vegetables. Drizzle with the dressing. Serve with a little hoisin sauce if desired.

(The guest chef then emits a loud belch)

Guest chef: I’d like to thank my assistant Johnnie Walker for helping me get through this program. I’d like to thank the Food Channel for having me. And I’d like to thank you the television audience for inviting me into your home (I still miss Ho Babylon Minh’s place). This will probably be the first and last episode of Cooking With Ricardo that you’ll ever see.

Food Channel Announcer: You’ve got that right, Ricardo.

Guest chef: Oh, I’m not Ricardo.

Food Channel Announcer: You’re not Ricardo? Who the Hell are you then?

Guest chef: I’m Umberto his former friend.

Food Channel Announcer: Where the Hell is Ricardo?

Umberto (holding up a bone 🍖): Well, here’s a piece of him here. (Holds up another bone 🍖) And here’s another piece of him here.
(Smiles at the camera 🎥) I’m Umberto your guest chef and I’ve been cooking with… Ricardo.

-A short story written by
Christopher
Tuesday May 29th
2018.

Ho Babylon Minh: Former girl friend of today’s guest chef

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