Ichabod and Ickabob

October 10, 2021 at 11:27 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was flying over Australia in the Set Enterprises’ dirigible airship The Wild Colonial Boy.

This airship like all of Set’s airship fleet was very eco-friendly and environmentally friendly and was powered by a cannabis engine.

The Wild Colonial Boy however ran on a very special high octane form of cannabis.

This cannabis had been developed by Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie back at the Hotel California in the Summer of ’69.

A large amount of this cannabis managed to eventually find its way into a Vancouver apartment that was rented out in 1978 by Canadian singer Bryan Adams.

Which was a good thing.

Because the recipe for this type of cannabis was immediately forgotten by Uncle Ernie right after he made it.

The same was the case for every other type of drug made by Uncle Ernie.

As those who suscribe to Uncle Ernie’s Drug of The Day Uberhigh Club by mail say, “You never get the same type of drug from Uncle Ernie twice.”

Seeds from Uncle Ernie’s Summer of ’69 Hotel California cannabis eventually found their way to auction at Sotheby’s in London in the summer of 2021.

Where they were purchased by the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set beating out both George Soros and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman in bidding.

And now Renfield was flying around the world from London England to Sydney Australia in just 10 minutes using the super power octane like cannabis engine that ran on Uncle Ernie’s Summer of ’69 Hotel California cannabis.

Uncle Ernie had beat NASA, Jeff Bezos, Sir Richard Branson and Elon Musk all to Hell.

By powering a 1930s style very old fashioned dirigible.

And not even knowing it.

As he stood on an empty Sydney stage in a near empty Sydney theatre singing the title role of his drag queen Cumelita as he was unintentionally setting his girdle on fire.

The only person in the Sydney theatre was Daniel Andrews the Neo-Stalinist and Neo-Maoist tyrant Premier of Victoria state a neighbouring state of the state of New South Wales (New South Wales’ capital was Sydney).

Andrews being a globalist elitist and not a mere simple pleb was not subject to his own draconian lockdown rules (or anyone else’s for that matter).

He sat in the theatre not wearing a mask or pants or even a condom as he sat pleasuring himself like American children’s show TV host Pee-wee Herman in a porno theatre.

The seat would of course have to be steam cleaned afterwards.

. . .

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was showing his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set blown up and magnified images of what was on microscopic slides showing samples from both the Moderna and Pfizer “vaccines” (really mRNA genetic serums) for the Wuhan CCP virus (called Covid-19 by the pro-Communist WHO World Health Organization).

The nanobots and nano-organisms in the “vaccine” were magnified an infinite number of times.

An octopus like micro-organism moved itself off the slide in one sample.

And another octopus like micro-organism moved itself off the slide in another sample.

“The Set Enterprises’ Intelligence Unit is investigating the possibility that Bill Gates’ paid help managed to extract DNA from Cthulhu,” Dr. Rocher explained.

“And it’s through this,” Set asked, “that my brother and brother-in-law Osiris (so beloved by Freemasons everywhere) intends to rule the world?”.

Dr. Rocher nodded.

“And do you have a name for this octopus like micro-organism?” Set inquired.

“I call it Ickabob,” Dr. Cadbury Rocher answered.

. . .

The ghost of Orson Welles was reading a huge leather bound volume on Vampires and Ghosts that he had borrowed from the personal library of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

“Did you know that Katrina Van Tassel became a vampiress?” Welles asked Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

“She did?” Dracul was shocked, “Katrina Van Tassel who was fought over by two men the mortal schoolteacher Ichabod Crane and the ghostly Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow?”.

“That’s right,” Welles nodded as he sipped a ghostly glass of spectral red wine.

“I don’t drink… wine,” the voice of Bela Lugosi could be heard coming from the nearby television set which was showing the 1931 film Dracula.

“How did she become a vampiress?” Van Helsing asked.

“Dracula was visiting upstate New York at the time and gave her a hickey,” Welles answered.

When Van Helsing went back to his London apartment, he found vampiress Katrina Van Tassel inside.

Katrina Van Tassel

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 10th
2021.

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Renfield In Sleepy Hollow: A Poem

October 31, 2015 at 5:41 pm (Humour, Mystery, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield In Sleepy Hollow: A Poem

For Renfield, it was not such a bitter pill to swallow,
to be at this time of year visiting the town of Sleepy Hollow,
for he could have been with the band Smashing Pumpkins
and eaten horse men’s heads with his chicken dumplings.
For Renfield was a cool cat though shapeshifting hamster he be
and was always human when he took a pee
or visited the tea rooms for afternoon tea.

For the time of year was Halloween
when ghosts and goblins walk to be seen
and wouldn’t be caught dead in outfits too green.
Leave that to the leprechauns
and those who eat green cheese with their prawns.

Amadeus was picking magic mushrooms off the lawn
while 3-headed guard dog Cerberus did watch and yawn,
Angry Hades or Pluto shouted,
Now, Brussels sprouts have sprouted
And ferryman Charon just sat and pouted.

And so on this night in Sleepy Hollow,
It was Renfield’s 10th can he did swallow,
Ah, said he, Sherrielock’s beer is so divine,
these mushroom ingredients taste so fine,
And I can act as if I’ve lost my mind.

Sherrielock Holmes approached wearing black mask and carrying a black whip,
She also wore black lipstick on her lip,
And had one stern black gloved hand upon her hip,
She wore black leather skirt and black fishnet nylons,
With her stilettos, she kicked over construction pylons.

Along came Headless Horesman riding with pumpkin head,
Sherrie whipped him off his horse and he fell to ground quite dead.
Ichabod Crane said, “The world has gone topsy turvy,”
as he looked at Sherrielock’s corseted top so curvy.

Ichabod got to Hell out of there
as Renfield dropped his underwear
and Sherrielock whipped his bottom so pink
that his lower cheeks turned red like lines on a hockey rink.

I think I got Renfield’s porno pay-per-view channel by mistake,
said Amadeus as he ate mushrooms that turned him into a flake
He used an autumn leaf for a remote control to change the channel
when he suddenly got beamed by a wooden panel
for a witch on a broomstick collided with a window
as otters in a nearby stream chased after a minnow.

For it was Halloween in Sleepy Hollow
where chaos ruled the land as statue succumbs to winged swallow.
So beware of magic mushrooms on this Halloween night
for your bottom the next morning will look quite the sight.

-A Halloween poem
written by Christopher
Friday October 30th
2015.

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Rhyming Haiku About Ichabod Crane

October 17, 2015 at 7:10 pm (Folklore, Horror, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , )

Rhyming Haiku About Ichabod Crane From The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Poor Ichabod Crane
mistook pumpkin for a head
and so went insane

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