Joe Biden Speaks In Philadelphia: “This Is My Struggle…”

September 2, 2022 at 10:41 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was visiting the Killarney lakes to see his friend Dr. Donegal Dundee the famous leprechaun scientist.

“So what are you up to these days, Don-Dun?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Well I’ve recently been hired by Vladimir Putin to work in collaboration with South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo to raise the mad monk Rasputin from the dead at his grave in Tsarskoye Selo,” Dr. Donegal Dundee explained while drinking a glass of fine Jameson Irish Whiskey, “Dr. Makabo is going to raise Rasputin from the dead. The only trouble is people that Dr. Makabo raise from the dead look like zombies. And Vladimir Putin can’t stand looking at zombies (he has an antipathy to “woke” U.S. Democratic Party voters). So Makabo is going to raise Rasputin from the dead and I’m going to use my unique blend of Guinness, Murphy’s and O’hara’s Irish Red specially crafted embalming fluid (the one most recommended at funeral parlours in Ireland which is why Irish crematoriums were condemned at last year’s Glasgow Climate Change Summit as a major cause of global warming and a dire threat to the planet although the earth mother goddess Gaia would probably die happy) to make Rasputin look human again when he comes back from the dead.”

“You do know that Vladimir Putin is a Neo-Czarist and a Neo-Russian Imperialist who fancies himself a reincarnation of Czar Peter the Great?” Yaldabaoth raised an eyebow.

“I do know that,” Dr. Donegal Dundee painted Yaldabaoth’s raised eyebrow green.

. . .

“That was quite the speech Joe Biden gave in Philadelphia last night,” Dr. Nachash Naga mentioned to another NASA official, “It was a good and fortunate thing that it turned out that one of his daughters lived in Philadelphia so it appears that the Artemis 1 moon rocket launch is a go tomorrow.”

Dr. Nachash Naga’s secretary Deborah frowned as she listened to the conversation.

What the Hell did Dr. Nachash Naga mean by that?

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Friday night podcast.

He did the podcast wearing a t-shirt that said DEFUND THE FBI.

“This is what Joe Biden looked like delivering his speech in Philadelphia last night when he said that Donald Trump and MAGA Republicans are a threat to democracy.” :

Said Renfield, “Any photographic resemblance between Joe Biden’s arm gestures and facial expressions and the arm gestures and facial expressions of a certain late Fuhrer of 1930s and early 1940s Germany is no doubt purely coincidental.
As is no doubt any resemblance used between the silhouette background colours used by both speakers at their selected rallies.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 2nd
2022.

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Joe Biden Asked To Perform An Agamemnon

August 31, 2022 at 10:57 pm (Art History, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Literature, Mythology, News, Politics, Science, Technology, The Supernatural, theatre, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The Greek goddess Artemis being serenaded by musicians who were brought to life from a mural painting

“Who is Aeschylus?” Vice-President Kamala Harris asked one of her aides.

“He was an ancient Greek playwright who lived from approximately 525 BC to 456 BC and is believed to have written anywhere from 70 to 90 plays,” her aide answered, “He is considered the Father of Tragedy. In fact his ghost is believed to have written the recent Inflation Reduction Act. In fact on the night of April 4th 1968, Bobby Kennedy quoted from Aeschylus while addressing Afro-American voters in Indianapolis, Indiana when he had to break the tragic news to them that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King had been assassinated. The Aeschylus quote was this:

“Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.”
-Aeschylus

“What were some of his plays?” Kamala asked.

“Well he once wrote a trilogy of plays about the family of King Agamemnon of Mycenae the fellow who commanded the Greeks during the Trojan War,” her aide replied, “The trilogy was called The Oresteia named after Orestes who was a son of King Agamemnon.”

“Rather ironic you should be talking about The Oresteia,” remarked a leading high-ranking NASA official as he walked by on his way to the Oval Office to see Joe Biden.

“Ironic? How so?” Kamala inquired.

“That’s on a need to know basis and you don’t need to know,” the NASA official replied.

The FBI agent accompanying the NASA official was a Neo-Bolshevik Communist (like most FBI agents are these days) and did not understand the classical allusions that were being thrown around.

This entire scene was part of a dream (or was it a vision?) being seen by Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises Laboratories in London, England.

The name of the high-ranking NASA official was Dr. Nachash Naga.

He was on an important mission for NASA.

The Artemis 1 moon rocket was supposed to have been launched this past Monday August 29th 2022 but then something happened and the launch was postponed until this Saturday September 3rd 2022.

But even that might be postponed further because of new information that had come up.

Unless…

“Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga addressed the Pooper-In-Chief, “We need you to do something for us.”

“Glad to oblige,” Biden ate a piece of Ex-Lax.

“Mr. President, we have a problem and it isn’t Houston,” Dr. Nachash Naga explained, “Do you remember last fall when you went deer hunting?”.

“Um, I don’t actually,” answered the Pooper-In-Chief who suffered from dementia.

“Well, you shot and killed a deer,” Dr. Nachash Naga pointed out.

“Good for me,” Joe Biden grinned.

“Well that turned out to be a bad thing, Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga hissed, “It turned out that the deer you shot and killed was a deer sacred to the Greek goddess Artemis.”

“Who is Artemis?” Joe Biden looked at a photo of the Belvedere Apollo and wondered if he should invite the sculpted statue to join his cabinet.

“Artemis was the Greek goddess of the hunt and wild animals as well as the Greek goddess of the moon,” Dr. Nachash Naga flashed his incisors, “and as a result of your killing that deer sacred to her, she is preventing the Artemis 1 rocket from being launched.”

“So, what can I do about it?” Joe Biden scratched his diaper rash.

“Well when King Agamemnon of Mycenae slew and killed a deer sacred to Artemis and the goddess prevented the Greek fleet from sailing towards Troy as punishment, Agamemnon was forced to sacrifice his daughter Iphigenia to Artemis to appease her wrath.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Biden put on Kamala Harris’ high school Dunce cap.

“We want you to sacrifice your daughter to Artemis in the next couple of days to appease her wrath so we can get the Artemis 1 moon rocket launched this coming Saturday,” Dr. Nachash Naga began filing his fingernails.

“Can I sniff her hair before I sacrifice her?” Joe Biden asked.

“Of course, Mr. President,” Dr. Nachash Naga looked exasperated.

“Wait,” Joe Biden suddenly had a moment of clarity after taking a Claritin tablet, “Jill might be rather pissed at me if I sacrifice Ashley.”

“Joe, I have a suggestion,” Barack Obama delivered his instructions into Joe’s earpiece as he always did, “Did you ever have any extra marital affairs?”.

“I can’t remember,” Joe was trying to remember the tune of the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memory.

“Well ask some of your FBI agents to stop sifting through Donald Trump’s underwear and try to track down any extra marital affairs you might have had and any children you might have had particularly girls,” Obama explained, “Then you can sacrifice that daughter from an extra marital affair.”

“Gee, I wonder if any are still alive,” Biden picked his nose, “This is one occasion when I wish I hadn’t been so gung ho for abortion.”

“Just send out the FBI, Joe,” Obama barked, “Find any surviving daughters from those extra marital affairs and just do the damned sacrifice. We’ve got to get to the moon before Vladimir Putin and Jackie Gleason’s wife Alice do.”

Meanwhile in Hunter Biden’s room, he was being visited by the ghost of a beautiful young Greek girl named Electra.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 31st
2022.

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Artemis, Dracul and What Happened To The Deerslayer’s Daughter

January 22, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Theatre Arts, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )


The Greek goddess Artemis performing in New York City’s Ziegfeld Follies in 1927

The Greek goddess Artemis had wanted to act in a Ziegfeld Follies production ever since she saw her first one in 1910.

As she was getting her photo taken to appear on the theatre marquee, she noticed a tall blonde man approach her.

She recognized the man as being Dracul Van Helsing a vampire hunter said to have the ability to travel through time according to a vision given her brother Apollo’s prophetess at Delphi.

“Mr.Van Helsing,” the goddess in mini dress, black silk fishnet pantyhose and high heeled shoes smiled at him,

“What brings you here?”.

“I’m here to negotiate a happy ending,” the man answered.

In the theatre lobby, screams were being heard as the requests of Dracul’s blue eyed white wolf and silver eyed black jaguar for hot dogs and coke were not understood by the theatre lobby vendor who was from Brooklyn.

“A happy ending to this particular Ziegfeld production,” Artemis raised one of her legs in Dracul’s direction and pointed at him, “but the script is a musical comedy.”

“No, a happy ending to the tale of Agamemnon and Iphigenia,” Dracul answered referring to the story of King Agamemnon sacrificing his daughter Iphigenia at Aulis as a human sacrifice to Artemis so that she would allow fair winds for the Greek ships to be able to sail for Troy.

Agamemnon being an ass had slighted Artemis the Greek goddess of the hunt by killing one of the goddess’ deer in a sacred grove.

He was forced to sacrifice his daughter to Artemis as punishment to allow the Greek ships to sail to Troy.

Again being the supreme ass he was, he preferred sacking Troy for its gold than his young daughter living (although the official reason for war was to take Helen from Paris and return her to her husband King Menelaus).

“You want me to travel back in time and allow Iphigenia to live?” Artemis raised her other leg at Dracul, “what will you give me in return?.”

“Tantric sex,” Dracul answered.

Artemis smiled.

“That’s the answer I wanted to hear,” she ran her hands through her hair, “All right, Iphigenia will live but Clytemnestra the mother of Iphigenia must still think she was killed by Agamemnon because the fates have decreed that Clytemnestra and her lover must kill her husband King Agamemnon.”

“I care not for the butcher of Troy,” Dracul replied.

“All right,” Artemis laughed, “Funny my father Zeus warned me that I would lose my virginity if I ever appeared in a Ziegfeld Folly. I guess he was right.”

She giggled and opened her legs for the time travelling vampire hunter.

That was the night that the lights went out on Broadway as a huge surge of electricity sent everything black in the Big Apple.

Meanwhile 14 years later in 1941, Princess Iphigenia of Mycenae suddenly appeared on the bear skin rug of Carson Cody Albion Private Eye in Los Angeles, California:

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 22nd
2019.

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