Harvey Tallbanger Meets Egyptian Vampiress On The Eiffel Tower

July 10, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Harvey Tallbanger Meets Egyptian Vampiress On The Eiffel Tower

After a successful month of intelligence gathering for the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set this past June, Set Enterprises’ secret agent and spy the 6 foot 8 invisible Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger was taking some much needed r and r.

He decided to go to Paris the City of Lights for a few days as he was quite fond of the city.

Tonight he was having dinner atop the Eiffel Tower in a very lovely restaurant located there.

He was enjoying a glass of champagne when he was suddenly spotted by the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis:

Isis with drink and iPhone and elegant watch in hand approached the tall bunny rabbit who was clearly visible on this lovely and enchanting Parisienne evening having turned his Dr. Cadbury Rocher prototype ViewMaster on (which made him visible).

“So you’re Harvey Tallbanger the world’s most famous bunny rabbit secret agent?” Isis sat across from him.

“I am,” Tallbanger bowed, “and you are?”.

“I am the Vampiress Isis,” the beautiful vampiress answered, “your boss Set’s rival, arch enemy, sister and sister-in-law.”

“Yes, I heard my boss had a falling out with your side of the family,” Tallbanger sipped his champagne, “I hear you and his brother (your husband) Osiris and his nephew (your son) Horus have it in for him.”

“And with justifiable reasons,” Isis flashed her vampiric incisors.

“What big teeth you have,” Harvey recalled lines from his favourite fairy tale, “I regrettably do not have a family to fight with as I was genetically created in Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s lab at Set Enterprises. It was seeing the 1950 Jimmy Stewart movie Harvey that gave Dr. Rocher the idea.”

“Why don’t you come and work for me?” Isis touched his rabbit’s foot for luck.

“Well I am under contract to Set for another 3 years,” Tallbanger noted, “and I don’t become a free agent spy until then.”

“It was rather unfair for Set to bring you out of the blue like that at last year’s secret agent and spy draft in Las Vegas,” Isis seethed, “The only reason he got first round draft pick was because of some deal he made years ago in which he traded Stormy Daniels to the Russians for last year’s first round draft pick.”

“It was my understanding that Vladimir Putin was able to achieve quite a great deal of success with that deal,” Tallbanger helped himself to some Russian caviar.

“Putin is a master chess player,” Isis finished her drink and waved to the waiter for another.

“I’ve been told you’re a master chess player as well,” Tallbanger ordered a tequila sunrise.

“Thank you,” Isis smiled at him, “and I intend to make use of a knight.”

“A lovely night for it,” Tallbanger commented.

Isis raised her glass in toast.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 10th
2019.

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Harvey Tallbanger Meets Gali-Gula

May 29, 2019 at 10:08 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s personal invisible spy and secret agent the 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka invisible bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger was once again in Paris to spy on Emmanuel Macron’s pro-globalist and pro-EU forces in the wake of the European Parliament elections.

Tallbanger worked his way through a group of marijuana smoking architecture students from California who were smoking weed and drawing sketches for a re-vamped Notre Dame Cathedral in the wake of last month’s fire.

As a result of inhaling pot smoke, Tallbanger was able to see Gali-Gula the ET gray from the planet Nibiru who was sitting up at the bar in Quasimodo’s Cafe as soon as the very tall bunny rabbit entered.

Most creatures on planet Earth were only able to see the ET gray Gali-Gula if they had inhaled pot smoke.

Coincidentally, Gali-Gula was sitting up at the bar drinking a Harvey Wallbanger.

Only creatures who were drinking Harvey Wallbangers were actually able to see the 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.

Being able to see one another, the ET gray and the 6 foot 8 bunny rabbit struck up a conversation.

“So, what have you been up to on planet Earth?” The tall rabbit asked the ET gray as he stirred his Tequila Sunrise cocktail with a carrot.

“I used to be an advisor to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau,” Gali-Gula answered, “until his pot smoking desert cactus plant named Strawberry Fields Forever got kidnapped by China’s intelligence service and is being held hostage in exchange for the release of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou from Canadian custody. So Trudeau hasn’t been able to see me since last December.”

“So who are Justin Trudeau’s advisors now?” Tallbanger sipped his Tequila Sunrise cocktail.

“The demons Baal and Baphomet,” Gali-Gula downed his mixture of orange juice, vodka and Galliano.

“That doesn’t sound like a good thing,” the Welsh pooka ate his carrot.

“It isn’t,” Gali-Gula looked glum, “An exorcist might have to be brought in. Spitting French pea soup out of his mouth while his head is spinning around 360 degrees in every direction might go over well with Quebec voters but I really don’t think it will play out well in the rest of Canada.”

“I met an exorcist once,” the Welsh rabbit ordered Welsh rarebit off the Quasimodo’s menu, “the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds who tried to exorcise a couple of demon possessed dogs in British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s constituency. The dogs managed to escape and are still creating havoc in the English countryside.”

Just then a pair of men in black sat down across from Tallbanger and Gali-Gula.

“So,” the first man in black adjusted his dark sunglasses, “Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has been unable to form a coalition government in Israel and the Israeli Knesset has voted to dissolve itself and call for new Israeli national elections to be held on September 17th.”

“What this means,” the 2nd man in black likewise adjusted his dark sunglasses, “is that the Jared Kushner peace plan, the so-called deal of the century as it has been dubbed in Donald Trump’s Twitter tweets, is now dead in the water. The plan was always delayed for some reason or other. Last autumn’s bodily dismemberment of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi at the Saudi consulate in Istanbul certainly put a major kabosh into the Kushner peace plan. Then it had to be delayed because of the Israeli elections earlier this year. Then Ramadan came up. It was to be released early next month following the end of Ramadan. But now with new Israeli elections, its release will now have to be delayed until those elections are over. Then this fall will be too close to next year’s U.S.Presidential election and on the off-chance something goes wrong with the peace plan, Trump will probably delay the plan until after next year’s Presidential election. So it probably won’t be announced until well into 2021.”

“I guess this means Ivanka Trump will never see her husband win the Nobel Peace Prize,” the first man in black mused philosophically.

The two finshed their drinks and left the cafe.

As the men in black exited, the Egyptian vampiress Isis entered the cafe with the Greek god Ares on her arm.

“My boss,” Tallbanger referred to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, “will be very interested to know those two are meeting.”

“You don’t suppose they’re here for the half price on Mexican nachos during Happy Hour?” Gali-Gula queried.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 29th
2019.


Egyptian vampiress Isis enters Quasimodo’s

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The Kraken Rises Off Israel

May 25, 2019 at 9:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Kraken Napoleon VI had got an urgent text message on his smart phone.

It was from Miranda the mermaid.

It was imperative that she meet him on the beaches of Tel Aviv, Israel.

“It must be something very important,” the Kraken thought to himself as he watched a TV commercial with the Greek god Poseidon advertising McDonald’s Restaurants current special of fresh Atlantic Fish and Chips.

It was a sad day the Kraken thought to himself when even the Olympians were selling out to American corporate conglomerates.

The Kraken was going to let his wife Medusa know where he was going but she was currently engaged in a leg wrestling match with the Egyptian vampiress Isis on the floor of Quasimodo’s Cafe in Paris.

Their slit skirted and black silk nylon legs wrapped around one another’s throats would have sent the Irish Jewish science-fiction writer George Finneganburg and his Greek Norse fantasy writer friend Hyperion Sturm into sheer frenzy had they walked through the cafe at that moment.

The Kraken decided to text message Medusa the news later.

The Kraken hopped on his skateboard and skateboarded all the way from Paris down to the port city of Marseille.

From Marseille, he planned to swim all the way across the Mediterranean to Tel Aviv to meet with mermaid Miranda.

The Kraken had a slight delay in Marseille when he was attacked by a giant piece of seaweed who tried to eat him.

It was fortunate for the Kraken that he had ordered the Giant Spinach Salad for dinner at Quasimodo’s Cafe in Paris because the spinach had made him super strong like Popeye the Sailorman.

The Kraken ripped apart the killer seaweed and was able to swim away before the seaweed grew back together again.

After doing 4 simultaneous breast strokes with his 8 arms, the Kraken was soon in sight of the beaches of Tel Aviv.

The Kraken decided to dive underwater and then rise up again in order to make a grand and impressive entrance on to the beach.

He dove and then rose again.

As he rose, he brought up the Russian Navy submarine The Pride of Saint Petersburg (that had been doing surveillance work up and down the coast of Israel) on his head.

Wearing the submarine like a hat on his head, he stepped on to the beach and announced to Miranda the Mermaid that he had arrived.

. . .

A group of tourists were on the beach at Cefalu, Sicily.

Only a week earlier, a young 7-year-old female sperm whale had been found dead on that beach.

Its stomach was full of plastic bags and other plastic objects that had caused her death.

Now the bozo group of tourists on the beach were littering it with plastic bottles, plastic cups and plastic straws after their huge gluttonous picnic and beach party.

The Celtic stag god Cernunnos emerged from the hills above the beach carrying his crossbow and poisoned arrows.

The horned stag quickly fired poisoned arrows into the huge crowd of plastic littering bozos killing them all.

The Greek god Ares who had been walking along the beach likewise threw down a huge plastic cup and plastic straw.

Cernunnos fired a poisoned arrow marked MADE IN PARIS into Ares’ Achilles heel.

The Greek god of war fell on to the beach crying out, “I hate it when that happens.”

. . .

Allatallahbell the Vampiress Priestess of Baal would be meeting in the Vatican Gardens today with Medusa’s sisters Sthenno and Euryale.

In the meantime she was performing a sacrifice to Baal in one of the side chapels in the Vatican.

As Allatallahbell was busy sacrificing to Baal, Pope Francis was strolling through the Vatican grounds.

A couple of days earlier, Pope Francis had given a talk to a group of people on one of his favourite topics the God of Surprises.

The God of Surprises always reminded him of the boxes of Cracker Jack popcorn that he bought as a kid which always had a prize inside.

His friend Samhain Cardinal Salaman had just found a shop in Rome which sold Cracker Jack popcorn.

Pope Francis walked through the Vatican contentedly munching on the molasses-flavoured and caramel-coated popcorn which came from the box with the pictures of Sailor Jack and his dog Bingo on it.

He wondered what prize lay for him at the bottom of the box.

What did the god of surprises have in store for him?

With that thought in mind, he walked into the Vatican Gardens where there stood Sthenno and Euryale the sisters of Medusa:

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 25th
2019.

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Vampiress Isis Walks The Banks of The Nile

April 11, 2019 at 10:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Poetry, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )


The Egyptian vampiress Isis walks the banks of the Nile

The Egyptian vampiress Isis walked the Nile
A stroll with her memories
The last time she had been in Egypt
was 101 years ago
When Egyptologist Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury
had opened the tomb of Set
her evil brother and brother-in-law
on Armistice Day 1918
right at 11 AM Greenwich time
When the First World War ended

She had fled to Paris
Where she had once worked
With both the Emperors Napoleon I and III
Set had gone to London
and then to Berlin
where he had watched Hitler’s rise to power
Then he returned to London again
Where he had lived ever since

Isis’ husband Osiris had returned to Earth a few years back
from a planet near the star Sirius
Where he had been placed by a black magic spell
cast by Set
Osiris now lived in Rome
Where he served as a geopolitical advisor to Pope Francis
Just as Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal
Served as Pope Francis’ theological advisor
Along with the 6 remaining members of the Vampiric Knights-Templar

Isis walked along the Nile with her memories
She had heard that Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury
(Whom Set had turned into a vampire)
Who headed Set’s archaeological team
had recently discovered the tomb of Alexander the Great
But where was Alexander’s tomb she wondered?
Egypt? Iraq? Iran?
Or elsewhere in the Middle East?

She turned away from the Nile
And walked in the opposite direction
towards the desert
She felt certain that Set
would try to bring Alexander back from the dead
And he had just the man to do it-
Dr. Cadbury Rocher

The day had been long
The night was falling
and in the distance
a jackal’s voice was calling

Isis’ Egypt had changed
And changed
And changed
And was about to change again

The purple at the bottom of her white dress
That had touched the banks of the Nile
Symbolized her Queenship
But would she ever become Queen of the Nile
again?

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 11th
2019.

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Night of The Blood Red Moon

July 27, 2018 at 11:00 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Night of The Blood Red Moon

The Greek Goddess Hera

“Go forth, Hermes,” Hera commanded, “and ask the Pythian sibyl high priestess of Apollo at Delphi what shall be the first sign marking the beginning of the age of sorrows that shall commence in the 2nd Coming of the Holy One born in Bethlehem of Judea.”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up screeching in his aquarium when he heard the Pythia’s response to Hermes’ question.

. . .

Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA shifted on his feet uncomfortably outside the Oval Bathroom 🚽 of the White House as Donald Trump was having a bowel movement inside and firing off the latest DARPA secret weapon – a cruise tweet- at the entire political and military leadership of Iran.

The U.S. leader then checked his incoming tweets.

“What?” The Donald cried, “Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan just told me to go fuck myself because I demanded the release of American pastor Andrew Brunson from one of those sodomite Turkish prisons where the Turkish guards have a field day. I can’t do that to myself. It isn’t long enough for one thing…”

. . .

Dr. Cadbury Rocher was examining the work of Israeli scientist Saul Kullok.

Kullok had been examining the work of British scientist Sir Isaac Newton.

Newton had apparently studied the entire Old Testament in the original Hebrew and in his book The Chronology of Ancient Kingdoms published in 1728 a year after Newton’s death in 1727, Kullok had noticed that Newton had inserted his own detailed drawings of Solomon’s original Temple in Chapter V of the Book.

Newton in the Book claimed that Solomon’s Temple was a building whose dimensions corresponded to the measurements of the cosmos and the building was constructed in an architectural code that precisely detailed the mathematical measurements of the universe.

Dr. Rocher did not know what to think of either Kullok’s or Newton’s work as he turned off his laptop where he had been reading Kullok’s essays.

However Dr. Rocher had used Newton’s detailed drawings of Solomon’s Temple to program his 3-D laser printer to print an exact replica model (on a smaller scale of course) of the original First Temple for the Temple Mount Faithful an organization in Israel seeking to build the Third Temple.

As Dr. Cadbury Rocher was about to leave his office at the Set Enterprises lab as he heard the shrieks of Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster coming from his aquarium, he got a phone call on his smart phone.

It was from his boss the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s archenemy the Paris-based billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampiress Isis.

She was phoning to discuss the building of the Third Temple in Jerusalem of all things.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had just inhaled a whiff of marijuana smoke that was exhaled by Strawberry Fields Forever (which was the name of his genetically created pot smoking cactus 🌵 plant).

As such, Justin to his horror saw the ET gray Gali-Gula that he always saw whenever he inhaled pot smoke.

“So tell me, Gali,” Justin said as he looked up through the glass ceiling of his plant greenhouse for signs of the blood red moon 🌚, “who is your planet Nibiru’s greatest scientist?”.

Justin had been recalling earlier in the day how when Canada’s asshole then Prime Minister Brian Mulroney had announced his retirement, the Israeli government had awarded him the Israeli National Science and Technology Medal.

“Nibiru’s greatest scientist is Pythagogorgosaurus,” Gali-Gula replied.

“Has he recently communicated with earth?” Justin asked as he started to whistle the tune to the old Beatles song Strawberry Fields Forever.

“The last time he communicated with Earth was when he received a laser message from a glowing white globe that was sent into outer space by Donald Trump and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman,” Gali-Gula answered.

“Really?” Justin answered as he fell face forward into the bush of Alberta Wild Roses inside his greenhouse and started to sing, “Hey Jude, don’t ask me why. Sing a sad song and make it better…”

. . .

The blood red moon over Athens:

Hera to Apollo (as they stood underneath their respective statues): “And so rises the sign foretold by your high priestess…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 27th
2018.

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The Vampiress Isis, Pope Francis and Emmanuel Macron

May 4, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Egyptian Vampiress Isis, Pope Francis and Emmanuel Macron

The Egyptian vampiress Isis walked down the garden steps of the royal palace at Versailles:

https://pin.it/5acbbfmnqdrzvj

She had first seen Versailles back in 1799 when she came to France from Egypt with Napoleon Bonaparte.

Both Napoleon I and later Napoleon III the vampiress Isis had acted as a strong supporter of and an influential advisor to.

Now after having visited the royal palace at Versailles, she would be driven by limousine to Napoleon’s tomb in Paris where she would stop and say a prayer to her grandfather the Egyptian sun god Ra.

Then she would head to the French Presidential Palace there to meet with Emmanuel Macron the President of France 🇫🇷.

While visiting President Macron, they would hold a teleconferencing call with Pope Francis in Rome.

. . .

Pope Francis had been seeing a lot of demons around the Vatican the past month.

He finally got so sick of seeing them, he finally broke down and asked one directly, “Why are you wretched demons hanging around the Vatican these days?”.

“Where else can we go?” The demon shrugged, “You yourself have said that there is no Hell.”

Francis went away harrumphing like Major Hoople in that old newspaper cartoon and comic strip Our Boarding House.

He looked at the date on the calendar – May 4th 2018.

He was supposed to do something today but he couldn’t remember what it was.

He knew what he was planning to do tomorrow- May 5th 2018.

He had thought of canonizing Karl Marx as a birthday present for the latter’s 200th birthday tomorrow and declaring him a member of the Catholic Communion of Saints but he had been strongly advised against it by most of his cardinal advisers.

What was it he was supposed to do today?

He grabbed a pitchfork and stuck it up the rear end of some tiny elf sized little demon who got in his way.

Then he remembered.

He was supposed to be having a teleconferencing call with French President Emmanuel Macron and the Egyptian vampiress Isis who would be calling him from Paris.

Pope Francis went to his room and waited by the speaker phone on his desk.

The phone rang.

Francis picked it up.

Sure enough it was President Macron and the Egyptian vampiress Isis.

After an exchange of pleasantries, they got down to business.

“Holy Father,” Isis asked, “what do you think of the idea of using a recently discovered ancient manuscript on magic written by King Solomon to invoke ancient jinn to rebuild the original Temple of Solomon on Mount Moriah?”.

Pope Francis spat out a mouthful from his glass of Mogen David wine.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 4th
2018.

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Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

March 31, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

It was the evening of Holy Saturday in Rome- the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

As a great spotlight shone on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica, speakers 🔊 in Saint Peter’s Square played the John Lennon song Imagine… “no Hell below us, above us only sky…”

And in the square, the Egyptian vampiress Isis wearing a red evening dress approached her husband, brother and lover Osiris who was standing next to the obelisk in Saint Peter’s Square.

He was dressed in white robes with gold sequins around his neck and on the white sleeves of his arms.

Isis smiled as she approached him, “The board of directors of Palmyra Analytica have informed me that Dr. Cadbury Rocher has successfully built the 3-D printer that will re-build the Temple of Solomon.”

“Excellent, now all we have to do is get the Israelis to agree to our terms,” Osiris beamed as bright as the Blue Paschal Moon in the sky.

The square speakers started playing the song Blue Moon as sang by Billie Holliday.

“What about the Palestinians?” the vampiress Isis asked.

“That’s going to be a little more difficult,” Osiris acknowledged.

The speakers suddenly interrupted with a news bulletin saying that the Ancient Greek winged horse Pegasus had landed on the Temple Mount.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 31st
2018.

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3-D Printing The Temple of Solomon

March 28, 2018 at 10:35 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

3-D Printing The Temple of Solomon

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting alone in his parliamentary office.

The ghost of Sir Winston Churchill wasn’t present because he was being forced to attend a ghostly cocktail party in Purgatory at which the ghost of Lady Astor would be present.

“Like Hamlet’s father’s ghost in Shakespeare’s famous Danish play,” Churchill roared in a paraphrase of Hamlet’s spectral paternal parent, “it is at parties like these where the bad things I did in my days of nature are thoroughly punished.”

“Well, it could be worse,” the atheist Renfield, with no belief in Purgatory, remarked sympathetically, “you could be in Tartarus where Hitler’s ghost is.”

Renfield was unaware that Hades the god of the Underworld had temporarily released Hitler’s spirit from Tartarus at the request of the Norse/Germanic god Odin/Wotan (Churchill’s ghost was likewise unaware of Hitler’s reprieve at the hands of Persephone’s husband).

Hitler’s spirit had entered the body of a grey wolf 🐺 and was currently hanging out with the anti-Semitic ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith as well as paying the occasional visit to Vladimir Putin although Putin was unaware that the grey wolf was possessed by Hitler’s ghost.

Speaking of Hitler and Putin, Renfield was quite pleased with himself because earlier today he had hacked into Russia’s state run television network and put in an image of Vladimir Putin with Hitler’s moustache and haircut that appeared on the TV screen whenever the network ran a news story where the Russian leader was mentioned.

Putin was absolutely livid and furious when he found out and gave the order to all of 🇷🇺 Russia’s intelligence services to find the one responsible and bump that person off with the Novichok nerve agent (at the same time as Putin issued the directive, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov was giving a press conference in which he emphatically denied that Russia 🇷🇺 was in current possession of the nerve agent).

Renfield had tossed a few bread crumbs to the Russian intelligence services in his speech in the Commons today by continuously referring to Putin as “the Slavic Hitler” in his speech but so far the Russian agencies did not have an intellectual equivalent of Britain’s Sherlock Holmes to pick up on the Renfieldian hints.

Neither for that matter did America’s intelligence services since Donald Trump did not tweet about the subject.

Meanwhile Renfield R. Renfield was currently examining an MI-5 and MI-6 report on a British company called Palmyra Analytica.

The reason Renfield read the report as soon as he heard about it was because his creator Dr. Cadbury Rocher of Set Enterprises was currently doing freelance consulting work for Palmyra Analytica.

Dr. Rocher was building a 3-D printer for Palmyra Analytica.

The 3-D printer when completed would be capable of producing an exact copy (down to the smallest and most exact detail) of the original Temple of Solomon built by Solomon himself.

Renfield was horrified to discover when reading the report that Palmyra Analytica was in fact owned by a front company that was owned by his former boss Set’s arch enemies the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis and the Rome-based Egyptian vampire Osiris.

“Why,” Renfield wondered to himself, “do Isis and Osiris want to rebuild Solomon’s original Temple?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 28th
2018.

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Agathor Christie Meets Vampiress Isis In Paris

January 4, 2018 at 10:06 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Agathor Christie Meets Vampiress Isis In Paris

The London based private eye Agathor Christie was meeting the Egyptian Vampiress Isis in a cafe along the Champs Élysées.

Agathor had been hired by Isis to spy on her brother and brother-in-law the London based ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Normally Agathor worked on such cases with his private eye partner and associate Magog Rhys Petley but last month Magog had checked himself into a clinic in Switzerland to help him treat a peculiar ailment and malady that the former Labour MP had (he turned into a werewolf during times of the full moon and a few other occasions as well).

Agathor and Magog had opened up their private eye business last summer after both men had lost their respective parliamentary seats to members of the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party (Conservative Agathor Christie had lost his Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds seat to Renfield R. Renfield and Labour’s Magog Rhys Petley had been defeated by the Welsh Vampiress Morgana also known as Morgana Fay Lee in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge).

Agathor ordered a cognac while he waited for the Vampiress Isis to show up.

She entered the cafe wearing a gold evening dress.

“Your Divine Majesty,” Agathor stood up and kissed her golden gloved leather hand.

“Mr. Christie, you have news for me?” The Vampiress Isis sat down and ordered a glass of champagne.

“I do,” Agathor nodded.

“Then you’re a good detective,” Isis smiled at him, “But then seeing as how you’re the great nephew of British mystery novelist Agatha Christie, I’m not surprised.”

Agathor Christie was indeed the great nephew of Agatha Christie (albeit she was his great aunt by marriage and not by blood).

Agathor sipped his cognac.

In the meantime, Isis helped herself to some caviar.

“So, what is this news you have to tell me?” Isis asked.

“Set is trying to find the tomb of the great Egyptian queen Cleopatra,” Agathor replied.

“Really?” Isis was quite astounded at this bit of news, “Then I shall have to beat him to it.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 4th
2018.

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Renfield, Political Correctness and Krakens

September 18, 2017 at 6:09 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Renfield, Political Correctness and Krakens

British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield was making another speech to the UK 🇬🇧 House of Commons Parliamentary All-Party Foreign Affairs Committee after having read a blitheringly idiotic statement by Hollywood actor George Clooney on the Charlottesville incident.

Before his speech, Renfield held up for the committee a drawing he had done of George Clooney and various American late night talk show hosts sitting in a school classroom wearing DUNCE caps on their heads.

Said Renfield, “In consideration of the defining moment in history that Charlottesville has become on the road to a new global tyranny that seems to be emerging in the U.S. (political correctness taking the form of an all-encompassing Orwellian super state), we mustn’t be afraid to continuously give the assholes and idiots in the innately stupid American political establishment the raspberry they so richly deserve.”

Renfield took a sip of his martini (shaken not stirred in James Bond 007 fashion).

He continued.

“Now of course, Neo-Nazis and Ku Klux Klansmen are racist scumbags while the anarcho-communistic thugs and hooligans of Antifa are non-racist scumbags but that doesn’t mean that those belonging to Antifa are any less violence prone scumbags,” Renfield finished his martini 🍸, “to say otherwise is like saying that Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and Pol Pot weren’t such bad fellows after all since at least they weren’t racist like Adolf Hitler was.”

. . .

“It’s rather unfortunate that Cardinal Robert Sarah is black,” said the liberal Vatican 🇻🇦 Cardinal Walter Kasper, “if he was a white man, our great beloved and dear leader Pope Francis would have no qualms about immediately removing him from his post as Prefect of the Congregation For Divine Worship for suggesting such backwardly outdated ideas as priests should be allowed to say the old Latin Tridentine Mass if they wish and that furthermore the Mass should be said ad orientem (towards the East- where Christ is said to return according to our outdated Biblical mythology which is so definitely pre-Vatican II).”

“I wholeheartedly agree,” said Cardinal Reinhard Marx (who lived up to his family name).

. . .

In Rome, the ancient Egyptian vampire Osiris was reading a book 📖 called How To Spot A Good Kraken From A Bad Kraken.

His smart phone went off and he answered it.

It was his wife and sister-in-law the Egyptian Vampiress Isis calling from Paris.

“Darling,” Isis breathed into the phone, “I want you to come to Paris and meet the Kraken Napoleon VI and his lovely wife Medusa.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 18th
2017.

. . .

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