Sherrielock Holmes Meets Boris Johnson

May 24, 2020 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Sherrielock Holmes Meets Boris Johnson

World famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes was getting her photo taken by world famous London photographer Manuel Murrat Merriweather.

She was getting her picture taken on her sofa in front of a Manuel Murrat Merriweather retouched photo of an old black and white aerial photo of New York City in 1931.

When the photo session was over, Sherrielock gave Manuel a spanking for not social distancing during the photo session.

Then when that was over, she gave him another spanking for not social distancing during the original spanking session.

And on and on it went.

Until there was a knock at her apartment door.

It was British Prime Minister Boris Johnson showing up for a previous scheduled appointment.

Manuel Murrat Merriweather left the apartment with his bottom tingling like the sound of caroling bells from a church tower on Christmas Eve.

His buttocks now resembled a Christmas candy cane.

Boris Johnson arrived at Sherrielock Holmes’ apartment because he figured he could use a good spanking since he had not demanded that his chief advisor Dominic Cummings resign for breaking his government’s own coronavirus lockdown rules.

People were thinking that one rule applied for the elites and another rule applied to the masses.

Of course, Johnson, being the Oxford trained classicist that he was, knew that had always been the case throughout human history.

However he figured that a good bare bottom spanking at the hands of dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes should put the matter to rest as far as the British public was concerned.

Johnson was starting to have second thoughts about his decision as soon as the spanking started.

His buttocks even more so.

The ghost of the late British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill (sometime spirit advisor to British MP Renfield R. Renfield) came apparitionly through the walls of Sherrielock’s apartment because he hadn’t spoken to her in a while.

Churchill’s ghost found the whole spectacle quite distressing.

Not so much the sight of Sherrielock’s lovely tight skirted lap.

But the sight of a totally nude Boris Johnson across that lap with his buttocks a glowing tomato red.

Churchill’s ghostly appetite would be lost for the next week.

Johnson eventually departed deducing that this must be what the sting of a thousand Asian giant hornets must feel like.

He was followed minutes later by a mask wearing Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu who figured he could use a spanking for not resigning while facing bribery and corruption charges in the Israeli courts.

Like Johnson, Netanyahu and his buttocks were likewise regretting the decision minutes after the spanking started.

Meantime the ghost of Orson Welles (likewise an occasional spirit advisor to British MP Renfield R. Renfield) strolled apparitionly through the walls of Sherrielock’s apartment because he hadn’t spoken to her in a while.

Welles’ ghost likewise was distressed by the spectacle.

Again not by the sight of Sherrielock’s lovely tight skirted lap.

But by Netanyahu’s total nudity plus his buttocks turning tomato red (albeit a very kosher looking tomato red).

Welles’ ghost left the apartment in search of several dozen glasses of a good spectral red wine while Sherrielock quipped, “We will spank no Benjamin before his time.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 24th
2020.

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Netanyahu, Bin Salman and A Tale of Two Pans

April 27, 2020 at 9:41 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Netanyahu, bin Salman and A Tale of Two Pans

Some foul mouthed teen girl bicyclist was riding down the street shooting her foul mouth illiterate mouth off, “I’ve got the whole world at my feet, motherfucker.”

Pan Goatee who was putting the garbage out promptly beheaded the foul mouth trash can sporting a bad hair style and commented before hand, “Two words of advice. Don’t talk to yourself in public or people might think you’re insane. And don’t suffer from delusions of grandeur.”

He kicked the motherfucking female cyclist’s head down the street where it was promptly eaten by rats.

. . .

U. S. President Donald Trump was talking to his butler and valet Athelstan, “Somebody tweeted me an article from the Nostradumbass Science Enquirer saying that if I were to launch nuclear weapons all over the planet, that would provide enough heat and radiation to kill the Wuhan Virus. What do you think, Athelstan?”.

“Don’t do it, sir,” Athelstan answered.

. . .

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman was talking to his allies in the United Arab Emirates about the genocidal campaign they had been carrying out against the Houthis in Yemen (with U.S. support) for the past several years.

“Why don’t they just roll over and play dead for real?” The Saudi Crown Prince was foaming at the mouth, “We’ve been cluster bombing them. We’ve been cutting off most of their food supply. But they won’t starve to death. We’ve been cutting off medical aid to them but they won’t succumb to Covid-19 or any other illness and die en masse. This is very inconsiderate of them. Why in the name of Allah the Merciful won’t they just die when we’ve spent hundreds of millions trying to exterminate them?”.

The U.A.E. representative had no answer for the bombastic Saudi Crown Prince.

. . .

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was talking to a Mossad agent named Star of Azazel.

“We are going to be annexing a whole bunch of territories in the West Bank over the next couple of months,” Netanyahu said between mouthfuls of kosher corn beef sandwich, “And the U.S. government says it will back us in this. I’m about to earn an everlasting legacy in Israel’s history. And in my humble opinion, I can say no Israeli politician is more deserving of this. I just hope I don’t come down with Covid-19 like Britain’s Boris Johnson did. That would put a damper on everything.”

. . .

Meanwhile in Saint Peter’s Basilica in Rome, the Greek nature god Pan and the demon Baphomet were taking the figure of Christ off a Crucifix and substituting in its place a figure of the Middle Eastern goat demon Azazel.

But since there were no public Masses being held in Italy these days, it would be a while before anyone would notice.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 27th
2020.

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Pan Goatee, Donald Trump, Prince Andrew and Benjamin Netanyahu

July 16, 2019 at 9:33 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee, Donald Trump, Prince
Andrew and Benjamin Netanyahu

Pan Goatee had just finished buying cans of Diet Coke in the dollar store and was walking towards the mall’s food court when he encountered two fat ugly blimps of sisters waddling around the confines of the food court.

“A blimp is a blimp by any other name,” Goatee paraphrased Shakespeare as he beheaded one of the walrus-semi-human hybrids that were unfortunately vastly (in more ways than one) indigenous to this particular locale of western Canada.

“And the same goes for you,” Goatee remarked as he beheaded the other fat ugly blimp of a sister.

Sadly both fat ugly blimps had obviously not been carried away by a tornado that had recently hit the region a couple of days earlier.

“I guess that poor twisting vortex of a funnel cloud did not want to come down with a hernia,” Goatee reflected to himself.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, Donald Trump (after talking to the ghost of Richard M. Nixon who had famously said once, “I am not a crook”) had tweeted, “I am not a racist.”

He then added, “There’s not a racist bone in my body.”

At DARPA headquarters, the head of DARPA Dr. Faustus Imhotep was trying to keep under wraps medical x-rays that showed the current U.S. President did not have a skeleton but rather a strange mass of alien slime under his skin.

Dr. Faustus Imhotep was now pondering the question, “Was Trump an illegal alien from a galaxy far, far away?”.

Meanwhile over in England, Prince Andrew was reflecting on the U.S. arrest of one of his acquaintances Jeffrey Epstein.

The radio in his room was playing an old song recorded by Ringo Starr, “You’re 16, you’re beautiful and you’re mine.”

Andrew shut the radio off as it brought back memories of a time that could possibly land him in hot water.

And at his parliamentary office in Westminster, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was looking at photos taken by Belvedere the ghost of a ghost white salamander reporter for The Times of London.

The photos were recently taken in Jerusalem.

It was at a press conference in which Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu named the South African born academic Dr. Evan Cohen as his new spokesperson to the international media.

Standing behind Netanyahu at the press conference was the Rome-based Egyptian deity Osiris and the demon Baphomet.

“Does this mean Osiris and Baphomet have formed an alliance with one another?” Amadeus Emanon asked Renfield as he looked at the photos.

“If they are, the Boss won’t be very happy about that,” Renfield remarked.

Renfield still referred to his former employer the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set as the Boss.

The remark confused a lost American tourist as he walked down the corridors outside Renfield’s office and had come to the conclusion that this place was probably not Westminster Abbey.

Why, the tourist wondered, would Bruce Springsteen object to Osiris and Baphomet forming an alliance?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 16th
2019.

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Miranda Singh and Renfield R. Renfield In Israel

June 7, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Miranda Singh and Renfield R. Renfield In Israel


Miranda Singh posing for Spanish fashion photographer Santiago Domingo

Miranda Singh the personal secretary to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was currently in Israel.

Ostensibly to spy for her boss’ former employee British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who sat on the British House of Commons Foreign Affairs Commitee).

Coincidentally Renfield himself was in Israel on an official fact finding mission for the British government.

As opposed to the unofficial fact finding mission she was on.

She would eventually be using the goddess Kali’s invisibility bracelets to spy on a secret meeting between the U.S., Israeli and Russian national security advisors in Israel.

Her cover story was that she was in Israel on a photo shoot for the famous Spanish fashion photographer Santiago Domingo.

She was currently in a Jerusalem swimming pool facility being photographed.

Accompanying her on this part of her mission was Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

As Miranda was sitting on a pool side deck chair being photographed by Señor Domingo, Dracul noticed a black panther swimming in the pool towards her direction.

Inclined to think such a thing suspicious, Van Helsing fired the arrow on his crossbow at the panther as it leapt out of the pool towards Miranda.

The arrow struck the panther in one of its front legs.

The panther quickly shapeshifted into a woman- who could have passed as an identical twin sister of the great 1940s French actress Simone Simon.

She had an arrow sticking out of her arm.

“Merde!” She said, “I don’t think my travellers’ insurance covers medical care costs in Israel.”

She went running out of the swimming pool facility.

. . .

“That’s so gay,” Renfield remarked as he entered Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s office and saw the Prime Minister bending over his desk with his pants down and his drawers open and being sodomized in the rear end by his newly appointed capital letter “G” (in the Alphabet Politburo of Western secular society) Justice Minister.

“Renfield!” Netanyahu’s face was ashen white, “Your appointment isn’t for another hour.”

“I knew I should have put a new battery in before I left London,” Renfield looked at his watch.

Netanyahu’s face was as red as a beet and he tried to explain, “This is my new Justice Minister whom I’ve named to avoid criminal prosecution on corruption charges.”

“I think I’d prefer criminal prosecution on corruption charges instead,” Renfield remarked as he hurriedly exited the office.

. . .

The year was 1960 and Jesuit priest Malachi Martin was watching actress Sophia Loren beating the boys at pool in a Rome billiards hall.

Father Martin who was heterosexual (unlike many of his compatriots in the Jesuit order) enjoyed watching Miss Loren play pool.

The priest looked at his watch.

He better get back to the Vatican where he served as personal Secretary to the powerful Jesuit cardinal Augustin Cardinal Bea.

Little did he realize when he got back to the office that he would be privileged to read the Third Secret of Fatima (a message delivered to three shepherd children by Mary the Mother of Jesus when she appeared at Fatima, Portugal back in 1917).

A message that both Pope John XXIII and Augustin Cardinal Bea had read.

A message that was supposed to be released to the world in 1960 but never was.

The Vatican claimed to have finally released the secret in June 2000 (11 months after Father Martin’s death) but it was only a vision associated with the message not the text of Mary’s words in the message itself.

Malachi Martin had taken an oath that day in 1960 never to reveal the Message.

Although he did strongly hint at its contents when he appeared on the Coast-To-Coast AM Radio Program with Art Bell back in the late 1990s.

And when asked by TV interviewer Merv Griffin back in the mid-1980s what was the most pressing issue of our time, Father Martin cryptically replied, “Russia and the role it plays in the future survival of the State of Israel.”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Friday June 7th 
2019.

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From Russia With… ?

October 9, 2018 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

From Russia With… ?

Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi) had been sent from Russia With Love 💕 to James Bond 007 (Sean Connery) in 1963.

55 years later, Vladimir Putin would be delivering a message to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu using the Russian vampiress FSB Agent Svetlana Kireeva as courier.

“Well, Svetlana,” Putin addressed the short skirt and black silk fishnet pantyhose wearing vampiress while holding a Cossack warrior’s fur hat on his lap to cover up his erection, “the message you deliver to Netanyahu will be the most earthshaking any leader has received since the Austro-Hungarian Empire delivered an ultimatum to the Kingdom of Serbia back in the early summer of 1914.”

“This means war then?” Svetlana had an orgasm in her panties as she thought of all that delicious blood flowing on the battlefield.

“Not if Netanyahu accepts our terms,” Putin answered, “there won’t be war in the Middle East at any rate.”

“But there may be war at Kiev?” Svetlana asked.

“Yes if Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko insists on taking Church property away from the legitimate Ukrainian Orthodox Church (Moscow Patriarchate) and giving it to the Ukrainian Orthodox Church (Kiev Patriarchate) that was recently and illegally recognized as autocephalous by the schismatic Patriarch of Constantinople Bartholomew I who is undoubtedly a CIA agent in the pay of the Hillarybeast loving Democratic Party Deep State in the U.S. government, Kiev will be overrun with Russian Army paratroopers,” Putin plucked the strings on his violin 🎻.

“And what of Patriarch Bartholomew?” Svetlana asked.

“I intend to employ quite literal Byzantine intrigue in Bartholomew’s case,” Putin smiled like Anthony Perkins looking at a woman in the shower 🚿, “as you know it was the practice in Byzantine times to get rid of annoying Emperors and Patriarchs by poisoning their Communion wine at Mass which is probably why the Western Roman Church for centuries only allowed for Communion in one kind that being the bread (something regarded as outrageous to the 16th Century Protestant Reformers who had little understanding of Byzantine Imperial history). I shall revive this ancient Byzantine practice by arranging for Bartholomew’s Communion wine to be poisoned 🤢 when he says Mass sometime in the near future. This will give British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill something else to be angry about as they plot my own demise.”

“Won’t the U. S. respond angrily if we send Russian troops into Jerusalem and/or Kiev?” Svetlana asked as she orgasmed at the thought of eating a cream cheesed smothered bagel in Jerusalem.

“They will,” Putin admitted as he orgasmed under his Cossack hat as he watched Svetlana orgasm through her panties and pantyhose, “but U.S. foreign policy is now in disarray as a result of the only one who has a true understanding of global affairs in the entire Trump Administration U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley resigning. The Donald’s mind will be preoccupied these days as he tries to think up Tweets to come up with to explain the sudden departure of one of his sole competent officials from his Administration. When he finally does come up with an appropriate tweet in response, we in Moscow will already have taken control of western Ukraine 🇺🇦 including Kiev and Israel 🇮🇱 including Jerusalem.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 9th
2018.

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The Atargatis-Putin Meeting and Set’s Recollection of The 1939 New York City World’s Fair Opening

October 2, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Atargatis-Putin Meeting and Set’s Recollection of The 1939 New York City World’s Fair Opening

The Mossad agent they called The Controller of The Golem was in London to meet with the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set asking for his assistance.

Earlier this year, the mermaid goddess Atargatis had planned a mermaid invasion of the State of Israel 🇮🇱.

The invasion was stopped after the Byzantine vampiress Theodora asked her centaur friend Chiron to get the Centaurs to defend Israel against the mermaids.

Chiron had agreed.

And Poseidon (the Greek god of the sea and another friend of Theodora) had asked his brother Hades the god of the Underworld to grant permission for the Centaurs to leave the Underworld realm of Hades to defend Israel.

Chiron, Poseidon and Hades had all come through for Theodora and so Atargatis (the mother of the Assyrian Queen Semiramis) had called off the mermaid 🧜‍♀️ invasion of Israel.

Now it had come to the Controller’s attention that the mermaid Atargatis was swimming in the Moskva River and had been meeting on a regular basis with Vladimir Putin the past couple of weeks.

And tensions were high between Russia’s Putin and Israel’s Benjamin Netanyahu over the recent downing of a Russian plane over Syria.

And the Russian FSB’s leading scientist Dr. Nicht Werhoffen (formerly of the East German Stasi) had recently invented a tank capable of inflicting mortal wounds on Centaurs.

Thus the Controller of The Golem feared that Atargatis and Putin were planning a joint mermaid-Russian attack on Israel.

Now the Controller of The Golem was seeking the help of Set and his chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

As the Controller of The Golem waited in the living room of the Set Mansion, Set was in his upstairs bedroom thinking about the official opening of the 1939 World’s Fair in New York City on April 30th 1939.

He was recalling a meeting between a beautiful woman and scientist Albert Einstein at that opening.


Woman To Albert Einstein: “Is that the equation for the Theory of Relativity in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 2nd
2018.

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Netanyahu: When ET’s Friend Phones You Not Home

October 3, 2015 at 6:34 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Netanyahu: When ET’s Friend Phones You Not Home

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was sitting in the back of a diplomatic limousine in Manhattan after having delivered a passionate speech at the UN General Assembly in New York City.

At his side was the Mossad agent known as the Controller of The Golem.

The phone in the limousine rang.

The Prime Minister looked at the number.

He recognized the number of the U.S. National Security Council in Washington D.C.

“Hello,” the Prime Minister of Israel picked up the receiver.

“Mr. Prime Minister, this is a friend,” the voice said, “you must give up all control over the Temple Mount and East Jerusalem itself.”

“Who is this?” The Israeli Prime Minister demanded to know.

“And you must give up all control over the West Bank,” the voice said, “We know this was part of the land promised to you by The Lord God of Israel but he’s just an extraterrestrial- an astronaut from another world – He’s not the Supreme Creator of the Universe. We have the evidence to prove it which we will share with you at a future date. But in the meantime don’t hold on to the Temple Mount, East Jerusalem and settlement areas in the West Bank areas as if they were part of some divine mandate.”

“Who is this?” The Prime Minister was furiously angry.

The phone clicked.

And went dead.

The Prime Minister looked over at the Controller of The Golem.

“It was probably a hacker/prankster with a really bad sense of humour, Mr. Prime Minister,” the Controller assured him, “one who’s watched one too many episodes of that American TV program Ancient Aliens.”

“Maybe,” the Prime Minister looked thoughtful, “or maybe something much more sinister.”

Outside the limousine, some New York City doomsayer held up a placard that bore a verse from II Thessalonians Chapter 2, “And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie.” -II Thessalonians 2: 11.

A billboard across the street read, “God was just an astronaut.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday October 1st
2015.

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Sangita In Jerusalem

March 18, 2015 at 6:48 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Sangita In Jerusalem

Sangita Patel Douglas was in her Jerusalem home cooking dinner.

She was the wife of William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas the deputy consul at the British consulate in West Jerusalem.

Her husband had been the Scottish Nationalist Party MSP (Member of the Scottish Parliament) for the Eildon Hills.

But after the pro-independence side had lost last year’s September 18th referendum on Scottish independence, British Prime Minister David Cameron had named her husband the British Deputy Consul in West Jerusalem to show there were no hard feelings.

It had been a chaotic time in the city the past few weeks with the Israeli national general election happening.

Much to the surprise of most pollsters and media pundits, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu had won the election.

She had heard from her husband that the U.S. Embassy in Tel Aviv had decided not to lower the embassy flag as a sign of mourning despite a directive from the White House that they do so.

She prepared the corned beef sandwiches and put them on the dinner table.

Her husband William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas and the family bagpiper Pan Deux (who was the spitting image of a fabled hired assassin for the U.S. government Pan Goatee since they were both genetically created by noted British mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher- the difference being Pan Goatee was psycho and Pan Deux was not) joined her.

“So,” Sangita asked her husband, “why do you think Bibi won again?”.

“The Israeli people probably decided that Israel has too many enemies at the moment and they probably felt only Bibi could stand up to them,” her husband replied.

“And what have you been doing, Pan Deux?” Sangita asked the tartan kilt wearing furry goat-legged family bagpiper.

“I’m trying to compose a Scottish ballad about how a total solar eclipse at the North Pole on the first day of spring occurs only once every 100,000 years,” Pan Deux replied as he dipped his corn-beef sandwich into his porridge.

“It must be difficult finding the words for that,” Sangita passed him the brown sugar for his porridge.

“It is,” Pan Deux put the brown sugar on his porridge and then added some of Sangita’s delicious curry sauce, “I wonder how Robbie Burns would describe it.”

“He’d probably write, ‘Tis not a brae bricht moonlicht nicht tonicht’, ” her husband said which was the old Scottish way of saying “It’s not a bright moon lit night tonight.”

Outside the house, a bunny rabbit chased a frog out of the garden.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 18th
2015.

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Netanyahu’s Dream of The Ides of March In Ancient Rome

March 15, 2015 at 8:11 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Netanyahu’s Dream of The Ides of March In Ancient Rome

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was asleep in bed.

He was dreaming that he was in Ancient Rome during the Ides of March in 44 BC.

The Israeli Prime Minister saw Julius Caesar being stabbed.

He saw Caesar’s face turning white as great Caesar’s ghost when he was stabbed by Brutus.

As Caesar cried, “And thou, Brutus” and fell on to the marble steps, Netanyahu caught a glimpse of Brutus’ face.

The Israeli Prime Minister awoke with a start.

He recognized the face of Brutus (the man who had betrayed and killed his friend Caesar) in the dream as the face of someone he Netanyahu had met and encountered in real life.

Netanyahu rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

But the face of Brutus in the dream suddenly vanished from his mind and memory.

Beware the Ides of March, Netanyahu recalled the soothsayer’s cry in William Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar.

“Beware Saint Patrick’s Day,” a tourist group of Irish Alcoholics’ Anonymous members shouted in unison as they passed an ad for Guinness in the streets of Jerusalem some blocks away.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 15th
2015.

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The Frog and Angela Merkel

March 14, 2015 at 8:34 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Satire, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Frog and Angela Merkel

German Chancellor Angela Merkel told her secretary that she’d be spending the day at a spa to get herself rejuvenated.

After spending a pleasant time at the spa, she went to a quiet Berlin restaurant to have dinner.

She ordered the soup and salad.

The waiter brought her the potato soup.

Just then, Mrs. Merkel received a call on her mobile.

She noticed it was from Barack Obama.

She stepped outside on to the patio balcony to take the call undisturbed.

“Yes, Mr. President,” the Chancellor spoke into the phone.

“Hi Madame Chancellor, I’m just phoning you for some advice,” President Obama said, “I was wondering if you’d think Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu would take it as a personal insult if I sent him as a gift some Bavarian smoked sausages made with pork instead of beef?”.

“Well yes,” Mrs. Merkel replied, “I would think Mr. Netanyahu would very much take it as a personal insult.”

“Thanks, Madame Chancellor,” President Obama then got on the other line to his U.S.Secretary of State John Kerry, “By all means, send the Bavarian smoked sausages made with pork as a pre-election gift to Prime Minister Netanyahu this coming Israeli election night eve.”

German Chancellor Angela Merkel then went back to her soup.

A little green frog leapt out of her soup.

“Waiter, there was a frog in my soup,” Mrs. Merkel called out to the waiter.

“A frog?” The waiter was surprised, “Don’t you mean a fly?”.

“Ribbit, ribbit,” the frog said as he sat on the table.

. . .

The German Chancellor’s personal secretary entered her office that night and was surprised to see the very young looking and very beautiful ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith sitting in the Chancellor’s chair at her desk.

She wore a very low-cut beige evening dress that showed off her cleavage quite well.

“Well fuck me wild and senseless, Madame Chancellor, ” Mrs. Merkel’s male personal secretary exclaimed, “but that day at the spa really did you a world of good.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 14th
2015.

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