Jack O’ Hare On Saint David’s Day: A Short Poem

March 1, 2017 at 7:42 pm (Children's Story, Comedy, Humour, Poetry, Religion) (, , , , , , , )

Jack O’ Hare On Saint David’s Day: A Short Poem

Saint David’s Day today
Saint David the patron Saint of Wales
Some whales landed on Welsh shores
this Ash Wednesday 2017
claiming him as their Saint

Jack O’ Hare the wild rabbit ate some Welsh rarebit
in celebration.

-A short poem
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 1st
2017.

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Seeing An Old Friend Jack O’ Hare: A Poem

November 29, 2016 at 5:05 pm (Life, Literature, Nature, Poetry) (, , , , )

Seeing An Old Friend Jack O’ Hare:
A Poem

When my dad was still alive and I lived in his house,
there was a wild hare jack rabbit that lived in our back yard
that we called Jack O’ Hare.

He used to observe me when I worked on my computer downstairs
and my dad would occasionally look through the kitchen window watching Jack
as Jack watched me.

I was always fascinated how Jack’s fur changed colour throughout the seasons
In summer, he was gray
In winter, he was white, pure white in colour.

There was a neighbourhood pub I’d sometimes go to at night
And Jack would follow me there and then follow me home
I discovered this in the winter time when Jack’s footprints showed up in the snow
His footprints would lead up to the pub
and then lead back to my house

On one occasion in the winter when walking home,
I decided to turn around and look,
Sure enough there was Jack who quickly skirted behind a tree
when he noticed me turn around

My dad’s explanation for Jack following me
was that Jack was probably worried I’d end up drinking too much
and wouldn’t be able to find my way back home
so he was there as my guardian angel.

When my dad died and his most recent will and testament wasn’t found
and the house was sold by orders of my dad’s Estate
and I was forced to move,
I always wondered what became of Jack.

When I moved to Vancouver, in my writer’s imagination, I imagined Jack crossing the Rockies and coming to the West Coast to look for me
I imagined him living in Vancouver’s Stanley Park
waiting for me to show up
But we never connected.

This past July, I was evicted out of my Vancouver apartment when the rents got sky high
as Mayor Gregor Robertson slept while navel gazing in a yoga lotus position.

I moved back to Alberta
this time to Calgary
where I had to live 3 months in a homeless shelter

Eventually I did get into a place of my own this past autumn
Way on the northern outskirts of Calgary
Almost in the country and farmland areas

And today when I left my place to walk to the bus
There in an area of parkland I suddenly noticed a huge snow white coloured jack rabbit
about the same size that Jack O’ Hare was

We seemed shocked to see one another
I stood there staring at him
And he stood there staring at me with his ears perked up
After a few minutes of staring at one another
we went our respective ways
I- my bus to catch
And Jack O’ Hare- carrots to eat and female bunny rabbits to woo.

Of course in reality I know it’s not the same wild hare jack rabbit
Not the same Jack O’ Hare who used to live in my back yard and who used to follow me to the neighbourhood pub and back home again

But in my writer’s imagination, I’d like to think so
That it is the same Jack O’ Hare
a Jack O’ Hare who followed me across the Rockies to Vancouver
And then followed me back across the Rockies to Calgary
and at last, we’ve found one another again.

And who knows?
A very wise man once wrote these words,
“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
Perhaps Jack O’ Hare and I have found one another again. 🙂

-A Jack O’ Hare poem
written by Christopher
Sunday November 27th
2016

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Jack O’ Hare Vs. The Pirates: A Poem

May 17, 2016 at 6:00 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Fantasy, Humour, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

Jack O’ Hare Vs. The Pirates: A Poem

His name was Jack O’ Hare
bunny rabbit extraordinaire
a wild hare jack rabbit from afar
who hopped around- didn’t drive a car

He decided to try sailing the Seven Seas
after eating some wild mushrooms with his peas
The name of his ship he called The Orange Carrot
Those who don’t like the name must grin and bare it

He soon heard of a nasty group of pirates and buccaneers
while downing on an island tavern quite a number of beers
These weren’t gentlemanly pirates like Captain Jack Sparrow
These were nasty cutthroats who’d cut you to the bone and eat your marrow

Jack decided to rid the 7 Seas of this terror
and he’d do it with no time to spare
He raised his bunny rabbit flag- an orange carrot
high on the ship’s pole so no one could tear it

And set off after The Black Heart
the pirate ship of Captain Grimstone Dark
the wickedest pirate e’er to sail the Seven Seas
who once cut off his First Mate’s nose to stop a sneeze

Jack O’ Hare caught sight of The Black Heart
and finding no place to park
dropped anchor where he was
and asked why, said “Because…”

He then lined up tomatoes and green potatoes and shouted “Fire”
And when the ship’s bunny flag dropped, he said “Higher”
The Orange Carrot flew proudly from the mast
And Captain Grimstone’s heart grew overcast
when suddenly he was hit by a green potato
and then suddenly splattered by a red tomato
The pirate terror was down
his face resembled that of a clown

The bunnies then jumped aboard The Black Heart
and made sure its sails came apart
so it would never again sail the 7 Seas
meanwhile Captain Grimstone was on his knees
his buns were tomatoed by Sherrielock Holmes
while bunnies took photos with their smart phones

Jack O’ Hare then sank the pirate ship
and tweeted on Twitter, that was quite the trip
Captain Grimstone Dark became a circus clown
and underneath a painted smile wore a frown
Jack O’ Hare returned to land
and played the trumpet in a band
you can see him hopping in many a parade
the one drinking carrot juice amongst a line of Gatorade

-A poem written by Christopher
Tuesday May 17th 2016.

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In Praise of An Imaginary Friend: Jack O’ Hare A Character In My Writing

April 20, 2016 at 7:23 pm (Poetry) (, )

In Praise of An Imaginary Friend:
Jack O’ Hare A Character In My Writing

Reading about lands of magic
that deliver us from the tragic
Economies fail
Windstorms gale
Trouble trouble everywhere
into the dawn steps a magic hare
Jack is his name of Irish descent
into his Guinness his carrot went
He likes a beer and veggies too
through the gate he does hop through

Jack O’ Hare is his name
To hop and hop is his game
He had many an adventure here and there
laughed at kings and queens in their underwear
Sailed with pirates on the Seven Seas
even ate macaroni and cheese
Slew a mighty dragon
even drove a covered wagon
along trails of the Old West
seeking land that was the best

He is indeed the noblest hare of them all
having even sipped champagne with De Gaulle
He even bit Adolf Hitler in the rear
as Der Furher bent to examine some Bavarian beer.

Villains he has fought
Big floppy ears has he got
He’s listened to many a tale
and spotted at sea many a whale

Jack is a hero
Jack is my friend
Of his many exploits
there is no end.

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday April 20th 2016.

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Jack O’ Hare’s Magic Carpet Ride: A Poem

January 5, 2016 at 8:45 pm (Humour, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Jack O’ Hare’s Magic Carpet Ride

Now one might think folks are full of blarney
claiming to see leprechauns near Lake Killarney
but wild hare jack rabbit Jack O’ Hare
as he travelled across the Emerald Isle green and fair
claimed to have seen just that
so he told a Guinness drinking cat.

So Jack and the cat headed out
stumbling across the land round about
till they ran into Seamus the leprechaun
enjoying a dinner of steak and prawn

So Seamus, what’s up?
Jack asked sipping his cup.
Replied the wee leprechaun Seamus
who gazed with telescope at planet Uranus,
“I’ve got some magic mushrooms from Bavaria,
brought to me by a fräulein barmaid with a lovely pair of…”

“Coconuts!” shouted the cat looking at Seamus’ South Seas food ware
-tropical delights arranged with such care.

“That she had!”
said Seamus very glad.

Explained the leprechaun further, “She got them from Gunter Glockenspiel the Magic Garden elf
who often reads from Sherrie’s books on the shelf
while he warred with the Seven Evil Dwarves in the garden next door
while noble cat Tiger and noble dog Ambos slept in the house on the floor
he help himself to the evil dwarves’ plunder of magic mushrooms galore.

He sent some to me courtesy of Fräulein Helga
whose pair of knockers is really quite swell-a.”
So the three ate the mushrooms and had to agree
undergoing experiences of cosmic ecstasy
they learned to think psychedelically
and taught the clouds to sing in harmony.

It was really quite the magic carpet ride
stars and mermaids and surging tide
they had much to seek
and nothing to hide
For when they awoke, they found their clothes had gone astray
until they remembered, for 2 of them, it was always this way
while Seamus nude of derrière and red of face
ran and hid some place
They discovered he had hid in a stack of hay
and didn’t come out for many a night and many a day.

-A Jack O’ Hare poem
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 5th
2016.

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Footprints In The Snow: A Poem

December 19, 2015 at 9:20 pm (Humour, Poetry) (, , , )

Footprints In The Snow: A Poem

Footprints in the snow
made not so long ago
they twist and turn
here, there, to and fro
by a beer drinking
bunny rabbit
with miles to go
what was in that smoke
I inhaled not so long ago?

-A poem written by Christopher
Saturday December 19th
2015.

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Jack O’ Hare At The North Pole: A Poem

December 6, 2015 at 8:12 pm (Children's Story, Folklore, Humour, Poetry) (, , , )

Jack O’ Hare At The North Pole: A Poem

The rabbit’s name was Jack O’ Hare
he hopped on by a polar bear
He was in the land of midnight dark
listening to the cry of husky bark
His fur now white as Arctic snow
he was a hare who travelled to and fro
Now he was headed to the North Pole
Santa’s toyshop his distant goal

He came to a town with lights aglow
that reflected off the midnight snow
the town’s lights were made of bright candy cane
there was one that stood on every lane
He came to a barber shop with a barber pole
and said to himself “That is the North Pole”
He heard Santa’s voice ringing across the snow
chortling a crisp snowy “Ho-Ho- Ho!”
They were words to which Kim Kardashian might take offense
even though her butt caused the Internet so many dents

Jack O’ Hare said hello
While elves were feeling mellow
they sang a happy song
this little elvish throng
and Jack when he dropped off his Christmas list
stopped to give Mrs. Claus a merry kiss
This caused Santa to fly into a jealous rage
leaving open the reindeer cage
and the flying reindeer were off in a jiff
causing Santa to undergo another tiff

As Santa sent his lasso into the midnight sky
Jack O’ Hare said good-bye
There was Santa on the moon
tripping over fork and spoon
as the cow mooed a cowshed tune.

-A Jack O’ Hare poem
written by Christopher
Sunday December 6th
2015.

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Jack O’ Hare and The Leprechaun: A Poem

March 12, 2015 at 6:01 pm (Children's Story, Entertainment, Folklore, Music, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

Jack O’ Hare and The Leprechaun: A Poem

In the land of Ireland roamed the bunny rabbit Jack O’ Hare
he hopped here and there across this land so green and fair
And as he made conversation with an Irish fawn
he turned around and saw… a leprechaun
The leprechaun wept, “Someone has stolen me pot o’ gold.”
Said Jack, “Who would do such a dastardly deed so bold?”
“I don’t know,” the leprechaun shrugged
his arms around a tree he hugged.
Said Jack, “I’ll help you find the thief,
this villainous villain who’s caused such grief.”
So to the rainbow’s end they went
and stood outside the little man’s tent.
Explained Seamus the leprechaun, “It was here that I slept
after downing a can of Guinness I kept.”

“What does your magic mirror say?”
Jack looked at the glass next to the sun ray.
“Me magic mirror,” the leprechaun shouted
as a four-leaf clover sprouted,
“I forgot all about it,
why I’ve lost my wit.”

They looked into the mirror and the picture unfolded,
the thief stood there with his mug shot uploaded,
“Why I’ve seen that man,” said Jack O’ Hare,
“he lives in London near the town square.”

So to London they flew
on Aer Lingus
sampling Guinness stew.
They got off the plane quite pickled
lucky for them, Customs were fickle.

They took the tube to London
and recited Kipling’s Gunga Din.
Got off the tube
holding martini with ice cube
and hailed a taxi.
Then talked to a patsy
who revealed the thief’s whereabouts
and after paying him off with Brussels sprouts
headed off to a Taylor Swift concert
and after entering without shoes or shirt
saw the thief sitting in the front row
wearing designer threads from head to toe.

As Seamus wrestled the man to the ground,
Jack jumped on the stage without making a sound,
spoke Taylor Swift to the crowd
leaving them fairly wowed,
“If you’re lucky enough to be different from everyone else, don’t ever change.”
So Jack O’ Hare hopped to the mike and sang Home On The Range.
As self-styled critics booed
and responded with gestures rude,
Taylor sang, “The haters gonna hate, hate, hate…”
Meanwhile the thief in Seamus’ hands was left to his fate, fate, fate…

Taylor sang, “Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake…”
which is what Seamus did to the thief whose body started to quake, quake, quake…
As gold coins fell by the thousands out of the thief’s pockets,
Taylor Swift threw back her own golden lockets,
“The fakers gonna fake, fake, fake…”
Meanwhile into Scotland Yard’s hands went the thievish rake, rake, rake…

Meanwhile Jack’s duet with Taylor was soon all the rage
Fans didn’t want them to leave the stage
The lucky hare got a kiss that was Taylor-made
And Seamus thought when it came to friendship, Jack’s made the grade.

-A Jack O’ Hare poem
written by Christopher
Thursday March 12th
2015.

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Jack O’ Hare In Ireland

November 28, 2014 at 8:19 pm (Humour, Poetry) (, , , )

Jack O’ Hare In Ireland

Jack O’ Hare was a bunny rabbit
won a trip, decided to grab it
went to Ireland his ancestral home
where he saw the sea ‘neath the Cliffs of Moher foam
visited the Killarney Lakes
the leprechauns there were quite the flakes
visited Waterford Crystal
where he bought himself a glass pistol
to frighten off that nasty fox
who wanted to taste his harey locks
he looked at Wedgwood pottery
after all, he won the lottery.
Tried to hug a tower that reached to Heaven
It was the tower of the monk Saint Kevin.
He walked along Wexford’s fair streets
to fiddle music he kept the beats
The Irish had never seen such a wild bunny hop
they cheered him on and didn’t ask him to stop.
He watched the sun go down on Galway Bay
and frolicked with many a colleen in Irish hay.
He drank many a Guinness in the town of Dublin
where he received absolution for his past sin.

-A Jack O’ Hare poem
written by Christopher
Friday November 28th
2014.

-Jack O’ Hare was the name I gave the wild hare jack rabbit who used to live in my backyard when I lived in the Canadian province of Alberta.

On this my birthday I decided to write a poem honouring my old friend.

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Jack O’ Hare On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

November 10, 2011 at 10:03 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

He was a bunny
with no money
but he was cool
and not a fool
so he was hired on Her Majesty’s Secret Service
reporting to a man by the name of Purvis
who loved his secretary’s round curvis
also loved by Theo-Dan
and many a breastfeeding fan
but back to our hero Jack
and not the luxurious rack.
Jack went out in search of Dr. No
mad scientist on the go
when No became Yes
oh what a mess
come to the test
it’s certainly the best
take your eyes off that breast
and focus on Jack
not that rack
Jack’s our hero
no Agent Zero
but Double 0 Eleven
next to Bond’s 007
he likes his carrot juice shaken not stirred
his bow tie attire seldom preferred
save by a nerd.
When Goldfinger raised his finger
Jack did not linger
but to the tune of modern pop singer
punched that lunatic a real zinger
and put him through the ringer.
Pussy Galore was certainly no bore
Jack for one certainly didn’t snore
and whipping out his big stick
he evened the score.
Sean Connery was Jack’s mate
outside the gate
that saved the world’s fate
for Bunny and Man
they did have a plan
whenever the world’s shit
used to hit the fan.

-A poem about Jack O’ Hare
the bunny rabbit known as Double 0 Eleven
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
written by Christopher Van Helsing
Thursday evening November 10th 2011.

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