Celebrating Ragnarok Apocalypse In Chicago

February 1, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )


Semiramis the Queen of Babylon calls to Dracul Van Helsing for help from inside her hotel room at the Mysterious Goddess Hotel in Chicago.

She clutched a pair of scissors that Jack the Ripper (recently appointed head of New York’s Health Care, Hospital and Medical Clinic system by New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo) tried to kill her with after he had watched the 1954 Alfred Hitchcock film Dial M For Murder on the hotel’s Pay TV channel.


Jack the Ripper likewise found himself caught in the vortex of time and place affecting the polar vortex in Chicago and found himself back in London on a moonlit evening in 1888.

Where suddenly he found himself peering through the keyhole of Sherlock Holmes’ room:

Suddenly the London 1888 full moon appeared over Chicago where it was promptly swallowed by the ghost of a T-Rex who came out on the losing end of the three horns of a triceratops:

After the Canadian vampire hunter had finished offering tantric sex comfort and sexual healing to Semiramis, Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom invited Dracul Van Helsing to visit her in the hotel room next door:

Come partake of my wisdom once again, Van Helsing.

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Semiramis, Jack The Ripper and The Autumn of Terror

January 21, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )


Semiramis the former Queen of Babylon was grateful to the time travelling vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing for having rescued her from Jack The Ripper

“I see you’ve changed the colour of your dress,” Dracul Van Helsing noted as he approached the Mystery Woman of Babylon in her Whitechapel London apartment, “you’ve gone from a full length scarlet red evening dress to a white silk nightgown with black lingerie top.”

“I only wear scarlet when I’m riding a seven headed beast,” Semiramis replied.

“And so you wear black and white when you’re riding a one headed beast,” Dracul answered as he raised her dress and brought her down on top of him in one massive volcanic eruption of tantric sex.

The resulting climactic earthshaking tremors shook the Westminster Houses of Parliament, Saint Paul’s Cathedral and the headquarters of Scotland Yard.

The Kraken who was Jack the Ripper had tried to kill Semiramis earlier that evening:

The Ripper/Kraken had seized her in a Whitechapel alley behind the Crown and Horns Pub:

As a raven squawked “Nevermore” while sitting on a ledge, the Ripper/Kraken was set upon by a white wolf with blue eyes, a black jaguar with silver eyes and the time travelling Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

Following his catastrophic sea testicles dismembering, the Ripper returned to his human form that night when he decided to kill again:

Meanwhile at another moment in time- approaching midnight on the evening of January 21st 2019, Donald Trump woke up in his room shrieking to his English butler and valet Lexington that he had had a nightmare where his sea testicles had been dismembered.

Lexington put down the copy of Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s The Rime of The Ancient Mariner that he had been reading, took off his glasses, got out of bed, put on his dressing robe and went to the room next door to see what the Donald was bitching about.

And at another moment in time, the late Nikola Tesla’s secret love the Austrian-Croatian spiritist medium for the German Vril Society Maria Orsic had on her lap a briefcase containing the Nazi UFO Flying Saucer plans on the date of May 8th 1945 when Nazi Germany (but not the Third Reich) had announced its surrender:

The plans were later bought by Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman for $10 billion at Christie’s Auction House in London this past December.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 21st
2019

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Haiku About Jack The Ripper and The Autumn of Terror

September 22, 2018 at 4:53 pm (Poetry) (, , )

In the London mists
a dark figure walks the streets
paving them with blood

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Sherlock Holmes and Jack The Ripper: A Haiku

August 28, 2018 at 10:37 pm (Crime, Culture, Detective story, History, Literature, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Poetry) (, , , )

Sherlock Holmes and Jack The Ripper: A Haiku

Holmes had Jack in lab
electrocuted him because
The courts would acquit

When you’re as important in society as Jack was, the Old Bailey would never convict.

So Sherlock Holmes took matters in his own hand.

Years later, Nikola Tesla would re-enact Holmes’ test for his friend Mark Twain.
But without using a living subject like the great British detective did.

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Pan Goatee and The Origins of The Name Jack The Ripper

July 30, 2018 at 10:24 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Philosophy, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Pan Goatee and The Origins of The Name Jack The Ripper

Satyr serial killer and DARPA contract assassin Pan Goatee was just leaving the bank when an ugly woman stepped in front of him.

He immediately beheaded her with his astral laser machete.

“Haven’t you heard the saying Beauty before ugliness, bitch?” Pan Goatee exclaimed before kicking the ugly woman’s head out into the parking lot.

He then walked down the sidewalk from the bank’s entrance to the mall’s main entrance.

As he walked through the doors, a beautiful woman standing there asked him, “My God but aren’t you the America’s Got Talent magician Aaron Crow?”.

Pan Goatee replied by looking like he was talking in sign language with his hands.

Then he smiled, “Just kidding. I’m actually Pan Goatee – satyr serial killer Extraordinaire, DARPA contract assassin Extraordinaire and the 21st Century’s leading Philosopher in the field of Aesthetics having just written a best selling book To Seek A More Beautiful World. You may have heard my great quote Some men see nightmares as they are and ask why? Others grab a machete and with beheadings end them.”

“You certainly look like Aaron Crow,” the beautiful woman asked for his autograph.

“So I’ve been told,” Pan Goatee smiled as he signed her wonderful knocker of a right breast that she whipped out from her blouse 👚, “That’s why numerous feminists boycott his magic shows. And why the Hillarybeast pledged to deport him back to Belgium 🇧🇪 his birthplace during the 2016 Presidential campaign and why she also promised to slap on a 666% tariff on Belgian waffles.”

“I love Belgian waffles,” the beautiful woman smiled as she orgasmed in her panties and turned her black mini skirt a creamy white colour.

“So do I,” Pan Goatee smiled as he orgasmed in his boxer shorts and showed a white lava pouring out of the volcano 🌋 on his Hawaiian scenery depicted boxers.

Pan Goatee then walked down the mall hallway when another ugly woman stepped in front of him.

Pan Goatee likewise beheaded her.

“God, you’re rude,” Pan Goatee said as he kicked the head into a Western Union money transfer chain franchise in the mall where radical Islamist imams transferred money to ISIS in the Middle East, “were you born and raised in a barn? I guess if you’re as ugly as you are, you probably were.”

Goatee then rounded another corner where he came face to face with another ugly woman.

He likewise beheaded her.

“Well, there goes my lunch,” Pan remarked as he vomited 🤮 all over the place even though he hadn’t yet eaten lunch.

He did however upchuck 🤮 his anti-psychotic medication (which didn’t seem to be working and never had).

On his way home, he came across two fat ugly blimps getting off the bus.

He likewise beheaded them.

“Who let the dogs out?” Pan Goatee quoted that old song.

. . .

And on the subject of serial killers, British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield had been invited to speak to the London Ripperology Society (a society dedicated to the study of Jack The Ripper) on a topic of his own choice.

The Ripperologists filed in and during Renfield’s lecture, they were absolutely shocked by what he had to say.

The poster he presented on the screen at the end of his lecture summed up the theme of his talk:

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 30th
2018.

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Jack The Ripper: A Love Story Excerpt 78 By Malcolm Marsh

July 23, 2018 at 10:17 pm (Crime, Detective story, History, Horror, Literature, Mystery, Mystery/horror) (, , )

An excellent suspense novel about Jack the Ripper told from the Ripper’s point of view by a great writer and storyteller- my friend Malcolm Marsh.

Malcolm Marsh - Author

Jack the Ripper – A Love Story ( Excerpt 78 )

  He went to the International Working Men’s Educational Club, which was the nearest building and returned with two men, Isaac Kozebrodsky and Morris Eagle, the trio discovered that she was dead, her throat cut!

They re-entered the club and raised the hue and cry, but they were too late, the moment that the returned to the club, I was away, I had no intention of hanging around to be caught by the mob.

Louis Diemschutz , When questioned later by the Police, said that he was certain that the Ripper was still in the premises when he arrived, he said he could sense his presence. How right he was. I had made good my escape, and would return to kill again, hopefully before this night was over.

When conversing with Inspector Abberline after the killings, He mentioned the…

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Pan Goatee Wins Jack The Ripper Feminist Award

January 11, 2018 at 8:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Pan Goatee Wins Jack The Ripper Feminist Award

The Cosmic Horror Writers Association of America had voted unanimously to make satyr serial killer Pan Goatee (whose serial killing specialty was killing ugly women) the winner of this past year’s Jack The Ripper Feminist Award given to the serial killer whose actions were most at variance with the precepts of the National Organization For Women.

As Pan Goatee was about to get off the bus at the auditorium where he was to receive his award, he noticed a fat ugly looking blimp of a woman getting on at the front of the bus.

Pan immediately rushed up to the front of the bus and beheaded the woman with his machete.

He then turned back to the bus’s back door before getting off- but not before posing with a thumbs up sign for photos taken by Japanese tourists sitting at the back of the bus.

Later inside the auditorium, Pan Goatee received a standing ovation as he accepted the award.

When Donald Trump read about tonight’s awards ceremony in this evening’s National Security Intel report, the Tweeter-In-Chief (who had proclaimed himself an “awesome genius” in his most recent Twitter tweet) asked one of his aides, “Who was Jack the Ripper?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 11th
2018.

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Sherrielock Holmes vs. Jack The Ripper: A Poem

June 11, 2017 at 3:42 pm (Crime, Culture, Detective story, History, Horror, Literature, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

It was London in the year 1888
a place and a year of great ill-fate
in which ladies of the night in the streets of London
were approached by an evil man and done in.

He wore black hat and cloak, black gloves and cane
he was Jekyll’s Hyde come to life in an evil reign
and Sherlock Holmes was naturally called in to solve the case
as Scotland Yard’s Inspector Lestrade was tired of losing face

But even the great Sherlock Holmes could not catch the Ripper
instead Sherlock ended up ripping his pants and breaking his zipper
and he hurried back to 221B Baker Street in shame
said he to Watson, “In no article, mention my name.”

And Sherlock’s little known twin sister Sherrielock heard of her brother’s failure
as well as the Great Detective’s little known nocturnal flight to London tailor
Now Sherrielock was a brothel owning dominatrix by trade
one who always managed to avoid a Scotland Yard raid

Said she, I’ll capture the Ripper and put an end to his Reign of Terror
I”ll do what no one else in London has dreamed to dare
and I’ll do it keeping in place my shampooed hair

So she put on her undercover dominatrix outfit and walked the East End’s Whitechapel streets

and she heard in the approaching distance the sound of fancy carriage horses’ hoof beats

A tall dark stranger dressed entirely in black
exited the cab saying, “Just call me Jack”.
“I’ll certainly do that, Jack dear,
if you let me whip your rear”
said Sherrielock pulling out a cat o’ nine tails
and before Jack knew it, he got a fist full of nails.

He was down on the ground, his pants all around
his buttocks were turning a fiery red
his ass no longer filled with Plutonian lead

But by the time the night was over, Jack The Ripper was no more
his ass had positively melted on London’s paved cobblestone floor
Scotland Yard never revealed how the Ripper had died
what was the successful antidote to this Jekyll’s poisoned Hyde.
But the cause was really rather simple in the end
a bright spot on a black and blue covered rear end
Food poisoning had done in the Ripper under dominatrix’s nylon runs
Food poisoning brought on by red tomatoed buns.

-A Sherrielock Holmes poem
written by Christopher
Sunday June 11th
2017.

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The London of The Ripper and Beyond

January 13, 2016 at 7:15 pm (Crime, Culture, History, Poetry) (, , , , , )

The London of The Ripper and Beyond

The clock tower ringed by fog and mist
a sentinel of time shrouded in mystery
The cling clang of horse’s hooves across the bridge
signaling a time other than our own
when our transport vehicles are silent
save for the incessant honking of the horn by the solipsistic narcissist within.

Carriage stops
door opens
out steps a man in black
black hat
black cloak
black cape

A woman’s scream in the night
that seems to piece the very fog itself
Such a scream was the signal of distress in the Ripper’s London.

And like those times of fog and mist
The Ripper legend continues to be shrouded in mystery.
Oh what foul deeds of darkness were then committed in the dark of night
Foul deeds that now are committed by others and broadcast on TV-morning, evening, day and night
In these times, darkness has become our normal light.

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday January 10th
2016.

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London 1888

February 24, 2013 at 5:48 pm (Commentary, Horror, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Poetry) (, , )

Jack was nimble

Jack was quick

Jack snuffed out life’s candlestick

he cut like a knife

no one’s wife

but women of the night

he left a grisly sight

the streets of London were his killing fields

to death’s sharp edge some one yields 

and the Ripper ripped

while aristocrats sipped

from glasses of champagne

and Jack achieved immortal fame.

 

 

-A poem about the world’s first

 vastly publicized serial killer

 Jack the Ripper

 who terrorized the streets of London

 in 1888.

 

-written by Christopher 

 Monday February 11th 2013.

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