Joe Biden Sniffs Jacinda Ardern’s Hair

May 31, 2022 at 9:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , )

The Samaritan woman at the well heard the call of Jesus.
Joe Biden and Jacinda Ardern, who were busy making out in the Oval Office, did not.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his lobster tank at London’s Set Enterprises when he had a vision.

The vision was this:

Joe Biden and New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern were making out in the privacy of the Oval Office after their public press conference.

Joe Biden was busy sniffing Jacinda Ardern’s hair, “Is that Herbal Essences or VO5 that I smell?”.

“Oh, kiss me, Joe, kiss me,” Ardern moaned in ecstasy.

“I’m afraid I don’t know the members of KISS,” Biden picked a fly off the wall and ate it, “But I might be able to get ahold of Marilyn Manson or Alice Cooper for you.”

“Oh, Joe, Joe,” Ardern continued to moan.

“Oh, the smell, the smell,” Biden got a lock of the New Zealand Prime Minister’s hair caught in his nostrils.

He dropped a load in his Depends diapers.

“Oh, the smell, the smell,” Ardern shrieked before passing out.

. . .

The commander of the Swiss Guards came running into the study of Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis.

“Your Holiness,” the Swiss Guard commander said, “There’s a monkey loose in the Vatican.”

“What’s a monkey doing loose in the Vatican?” Bergoglio asked as he ate a banana.

“He escaped from one of Bill Gates’ experimental labs in Rome,” the Swiss Guard commander explained, “He jumped over the Vatican wall, claimed refugee status and is now wanting free range in the Vatican kitchens.”

“Does he have the pox?” Bergoglio was very concerned and he wiped sweat off his brow.

“We don’t know whether he has the pox or not,” the Swiss Guard commander shrugged, “we know he doesn’t have the vax.”

“Then he shouldn’t be in the Vatican,” Bergoglio wagged his finger in a very angry fashion, “There are two things we can’t have in the Vatican. One is the Latin Tridentine Mass. And the other is the unvaccinated.”

. . .

Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov was meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

The Russian leader looked well despite rumours that he was ill.

The same could not be said for New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern who was currently barfing in the White House toilet at that moment.

Putin had just approved a Russian military intelligence plan to have an unvaccinated priest say a Latin Tridentine Mass in the Vatican this coming weekend.

“We’ve got another request from Pope Francis that he be invited to Moscow so that he can negotiate peace between Russia and Ukraine,” Lavrov noted.

“Put the request in the Kremlin trash can along with the others,” Putin directed.

“We also got a request from North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un that he be invited to Moscow to negotiate a peace between Russia and Ukraine,” Lavrov pointed out.

“Really?” Putin put down his bowl of borscht and smiled.

“Yes,” Lavrov nodded.

“Invite the two of them to Moscow together,” Putin had a glint in his eye, “let them hammer out a peace between Russia and Ukraine together.”

“All right,” Lavrov went to send off the invitations.

“At least the Western news media can’t accuse me of not having a sense of humour,” Putin drummed his fingers on his office desk top.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 31st 2022.

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Pan Goatee Beheads Uglo and Moron While Photo of Reptilian ET Woman Shows Up On Hunter Biden’s Laptop

April 5, 2022 at 9:54 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

A photo of a reptilian ET woman showed up on Hunter Biden’s latest misplaced laptop

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was out for a walk when he saw a really repulsively ugly looking woman and her low IQ moronic looking boyfriend walking a couple of four legged dogs.

Goatee beheaded the ugly looking woman and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

He did the same to her moronic looking low IQ boyfriend.

He then cut the 2 four legged dogs’ leashes and freed them.

They ran happily into the sunset until they were struck by an asteroid (or was it an ET alien spaceship?).

. . .

The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit were continuing to investigate the corrupt community and social housing official named Mark of The Beast Alexander.

They discovered he tried to withhold security deposits from low income vulnerable people through devious means.

In one instance where the sleezebag evicted a community housing resident without allowing him to collect his belongings, Mark of The Beast Alexander urinated all over the table lamp in his room.

He then went over to the resident’s drawers, grabbed a piece of underwear from the drawers and shit in them.

He then placed the piece of shit laced underwear in the resident’s bathrobe.

He then did numerous other bits of damage around the room.

The AIDS infested asshole then used that as an excuse to deny the resident his security deposit back.

The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit also discovered that Mark of The Beast Alexander had visited Jeffrey Epstein’s Lesser Saint James’ Island on numerous occasions before Epstein’s mysterious death in prison.

Where apparently the scumbag had raped and molested both little girls and little boys.

Anubis the son of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set would be overseeing the capture and subsequent bodily dismemberment of the sewer filth covered piece of vermin who was Mark of The Beast Alexander.

When the Intelligence Unit meeting was over, Anubis stopped to watch British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Tuesday night podcast on television.

The headline for the podcast read


He heard Renfield say, “As a member of the Mormon Church who believes that God the Father is an extraterrestrial from a planet near the star Kolob who raped and had sexual relations with Mary of Nazareth against her consent, it should come as no surprise that Sen. Romney would have rather peculiar ideas about children and sexuality.”

. . .

Photo of reptilian ET woman

A Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI agent wearing a Joseph Stalin photo lapel button, an old USSR hammer and sickle flag button and a JUST SAY NO TO A REVIVED CZARIST RUSSIA button entered the Oval Office where senile old fool Joe Biden sat playing with his ding-a-ling.

“Comrade President,” the FBI agent stated, “we have found your son Hunter’s latest misplaced laptop. And it apparently has photos of reptilian ET women on them.”

The FBI agent showed senile old fool Joe Biden one of the photos.

“Gee,” Joe Biden commented as he crapped his pants, “I wonder what her hair smells like.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 5th

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Joe Biden Hopes To Outleap Jack Kennedy’s Giant Leap To The Moon

March 29, 2022 at 10:53 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , )

The photographer had travelled back in time to take her photo.

He had seen her in a dream.

But he knew that she was real.

And that she had actually lived.

In a time before him.

So he took the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern film projector in his hand.

And went back to that time.

He got her to pose for him.

“I’ve never seen you before,” the woman said when the photo session was over.

“That’s because I come from another time,” he answered her.

The way he said it, she knew he spoke the truth.

And she gathered that he had come from the future.

“Why did you come to this time?” She asked.

“Because,” he answered, “I wanted to come to a time when women were women. And men weren’t.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of senile old fool Joe Biden making what he called an important announcement.

“An announcement,” a totally brown hair couloured Jen Psaki said, “that would be even more earth shattering than President John F. Kennedy’s May 25th 1961 address to a joint session of Congress in which he said he wanted to put a man on the moon by 1970.”

Joe Biden approached the podium wearing only a face mask.

And actually wearing ONLY a face mask.

A geriatric production of The Emperor’s New Clothes designed to turn heads and turn stomachs.

Biden then took off his face mask.

“Ladies and gentlemen and others,” Biden began, “I have an important announcement to make. Even more important than that Jack Kennedy guy’s speech where he wanted to put a man on the moon by 1970. I intend to make 90% of the American Armed Forces LGBTQ2s+ by the year 2030.”

One old timer watching at home on television whispered to another old timer, “I wonder if Stanley Kubrick will rise from the grave to direct this production the same way some people claim that he directed John F. Kennedy’s original dream.”

. . .

The pro-Sodom and Gomorrah government of Ireland in the Irish Republic’s capital of Dublin was absolutely thrilled by Biden’s historic announcement.

They commissioned the writing of a new Irish Army Fighting Song to celebrate the day.

One that was written by the end of the day.

The song was written to the tune of the old Tommy Makem and The Clancy Brothers song Bold O’ Donohue.

Here are some of the lyrics that were to be sung by the soldiers in the Irish Army,

“Oh I’m a puff and you’re a puff and he’s a puffter too
And everywhere we go, they say, Oh there’s O’ Donohue…”

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin watched Biden’s “historic” announcement and the 1st official singing of the new Irish Army Fighting Song on television along with his top Russian generals.

When the news clips were over, Putin gazed solemnly and sadly at each Russian general present in the room.

Finally he spoke.

“You know,” Putin sighed, “It’s finally dawned on me that the Ukrainians might not be the fierce ferocious fighters that they are had we allowed them to join NATO many years ago.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 29th

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Sophia Catches Her Son At Perverted Party In Kiev

March 21, 2022 at 10:17 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic Goddess of Wisdom catches her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun at a perverted party in Kiev rather than fighting in the Greek centaur Chiron’s army of leprechauns and gnomes

Sophia had heard the rumours.

Rather than fighting against invading Russian troops her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was supposedly attending a coming out party of the LGBTQ2s+ community in the City of Kiev hosted by Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelenskiy in celebration of the New World Order that an airheaded Ukrainian woman MP Kira Rudyk said that Ukraine was fighting for.

The demons Baal and Baphomet were present at the LGBTQ2s+ coming out party as freaks, fruits and nuts whose hair was all the colours of the rainbow (plus colours not in the rainbow) gave the appearance of a Liberace and Elton John directed version of the 1968 zombie film Night of The Living Dead.

Ukrainan President Volodymyr Zelenskiy, who had just got into some trouble for releasing a fake news video of the Eiffel Tower in Paris France being attacked by Russian missiles, addressed the crowd, “I understand we’ve got some foreign guests who are here with us virtually on Zoom.”

The crowd cheered.

“How many women from America are here with us today?” Zelenskiy asked.

2/3 of Joe Biden’s deputy cabinet appointees put up their hands as well as some muscle bound ogre who just won the first place gold medal in an NCAA Women’s Swimming Competition in the U.S.

Yaldabaoth, who was busy drinking green beer while Zelenskiy grandstanded in black leather pants and spiked high heeled shoes as holographic images of George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab applauded in the background, was immediately spotted by Sophia.

“I thought you were supposed to be fighting invaders,” Sophia approached him.

“Well…” Yaldabaoth was at a loss for words.

Sophia took Yaldabaoth over her knee and spanked him.

. . .

Meanwhile diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Russia were on the verge of collapse after senile old fool Joe Biden called Russian President Vladimir Putin “a war criminal”.

The ghostly voice of Mortimer Snerd (who was the secondary ventriloquist dummy- after Charlie McCarthy- of American ventriloquist Edgar Bergen) called Biden from Hell (where he was doing a stand-up comedy routine with Cerberus) and told him that it wasn’t smart to call the leader of a nuclear power “a war criminal”.

Russia’s Foreign Ministry had summoned U.S. Ambassador to Moscow John Sullivan to give him a dressing down.

Actor John Cleese (who played Basil Fawlty on the 1970s British sitcom Fawlty Towers) told a member of the British press, “I called Vladimir Putin a war criminal once but I think I got away with it…”

. . .

Meanwhile the demons Baal and Baphomet had left Kiev and had gone to French President Emmanuel Macron’s bedroom to enjoy some champagne cocktails with the Klaus Schwab approved former Global Youth leader.

“We’re looking forward to this Friday,” the half-male, half-female half-human half-goat demon Baphomet told Macron.

“What happens Friday?” Macron asked as he chased an elderly cougar around the bedroom.

“Haven’t you heard?” Baal said as he sampled a Planned Parenthood appetizer from a Paris clinic, “That’s when the demon Pachamama worshipping AntiPope Francis supposedly consecrates Russia and Ukraine to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.”

Baal and Baphomet both roared with laughter as Macron adjusted his toupee.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 21st

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The Devil Went Down To Mardi Gras

March 1, 2022 at 9:55 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Devil went down to Mardi Gras
He thought things were looking fine
Until someone offered him that old Communion wine
He turned it down
Not in this clown
But he wasn’t really the Devil you see
Just another snake in the tree

For the Devil’s got bigger plans these days
He stays hidden and sticks to more subtle ways
He’s currently letting lesser demons run the show
And they’ve got places to go

In Ukraine, Mephistopheles is pushing that Putin train
And that old trickster Loki would like to see Chernobyl’s rain
Joe and Justin feel pretty self righteous
Though they promote the DeathVaxx sightless
This Vaxx will sometimes kill and maim
But Baal’s spokesman Fauci loves it just the same

Justin seizes bank accounts
And won’t give them back
Yet the log in his eye
Sees Putin as a mole to whack

It’s coming down to the final stretch
Loki throws a soldier’s bone and tells Fenrir, fetch
NATO and the EU, they’re not fighting for you and me
They’re fighting for the Great Reset and Digital Identity
Yes, that old microchip is really gonna change your humanity

Now Putin is a tyrant who’s pretty old style
For Imperial Mother Russia, he’s ready to walk a mile
New York Times, CNN, they’re all a bunch of crap
They want you to take the Mark of the Beast
While Russia’s Putin takes the bad guy rap

Ukraine is being squeezed all the way to Hell
But there are no good guys on the West’s side
They’re likewise from Satan’s well
The U.S. has 11 bioweapons labs in Ukraine
But media won’t tell you that in that stream called main

They’ve got cholera and ebola all ready to go
And maybe they’ll release it during Putin’s missile light show
But lovely Rita as Gilda won’t sing Put the Blame On Mame
Old senile Joe and tofu Justin will lie and say, “It’s Putin’s game.”

If Antifa or BLM had invaded Ukraine, CNN would have dubbed it “a peaceful invasion”
Because lies and propaganda are part of that network’s equation
Nope there’s no one out there you can trust
You turn your back on God, your integrity turns to rust

This has been in the works a long long time
For at least 50 to 70 years or more
At least among the world of men as they stand on the floor
It goes back even longer when you consider the Devil’s minions galore.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Shrove Tuesday
Mardi Gras
March 1st 2022

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Pan Goatee Beheads Uglo While Biden Gives Away Crackpipes

February 10, 2022 at 8:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , )

World-famous genetically created satyr serial killer and Nobel Peace Prize nominee Pan Goatee checking out his astral laser machete

Pan Goatee was in a Dollarama store tonight looking to buy some inexpensive bottles of Diet Pepsi.

Unfortunately for the most intensely devoted disciple of the philosophical discipline of Aesthetics in the contemporary world, his sensitive artist’s eyes were most brutally visually assaulted by the repulsive sight of a really repulsive ugly looking uglo standing in line at the cash register.

Goatee vomited all over the shopping carts.

He then approached the ugly looking girl who in addition to being ugly had the most intensive expression of sheer stupidity on her face.

Both an uglo and a moron.

The worst of all possible worlds.

Goatee pulled out his astral laser machete.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you that you’re quite repulsively ugly? If not, allow me to be the first,” Goatee remarked as he beheaded the uglo’s head and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces, “You look like you could easily be the ugly younger sister of that uglo saleswoman I beheaded in the Freedom Mobile Phone Shop while I was downtown yesterday. Hasn’t anyone ever told you uglos that you should really wear a paper bag over your head when you go out in public? Had you the intelligence to do so, you wouldn’t end up being decapitated.”

The uglo’s ugly head and ugly 999 trillion body parts were then carried down to Tartarus in deepest Hades by Krampus the demon goat.

The uglo’s remains were then placed between Canada’s late former Prime Minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau and Cuba’s late dictator Fidel Castro who were busy roasting away on their respective rotating barbeque spits over open flames.

This was their punishment for shooting out the obnoxious seed that was to become Justin Trudeau the scumbag Neo-Stalinist tyrant of Canada.

. . .

America’s most pre-eminent senile old fool Joe Biden was sitting in the Oval Office and wondering why the cushion on his chair was so brown in colour.

His son Hunter Biden was lying passed out on the Oval Office floor after having smoked 666 ounces of crack cocaine on his crackpipe.

Earlier this evening the elder Biden had named his son America’s Peace Envoy to negotiate with Vladimir Putin in a last ditch effort to prevent war with Russia over Ukraine.

The ghost of Neville Chamberlain was standing in the room with his hands over his eyes and whispering, “The horror. The horror.”

Biden was on the phone talking to his good bum buddy Justin Trudeau the Prime Minister of Canada.

Justin was in his Ottawa bunker wearing Al Jolson minstrel show blackface and throwing darts at a poster of a large tractor trailer truck.

“Anyways,” senile old fool Joe Biden went on, “In an effort to promote racial equity, I’m going to spend $30 million in taxpayers’ money (with the blessing of Nancy Pelosi and AOC) to give away free crackpipes to black folks. This here generation of them there black folks really love their crack cocaine. Just like previous generations of them there black folks really loved their chicken and ribs and watermelon.”

“I think I’m really getting the munchies now,” Hunter Biden moaned from the Oval Office floor.

“It’s so nice talking to a non-racist such as yourself,” Justin started adding black shoe polish to his ears, “all of these truckers in Ottawa are a bunch of racists and white supremacists you know. This I know for I told myself so.”

“I know what you mean,” Joe Biden dropped another load in his underwear, “I never really could see the purpose of truckers. All they do is drive trucks. That’s of no benefit to humanity. Unlike the jobs you and I and Hunter do.”

“Anybody get the license plate number of that truck?” Hunter asked from the Oval Office floor.

“Of course we won’t give away crackpipes to those blacks who vote Republican,” the elder Biden went on, “Them there black folks aren’t black enough.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 10th

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Top Guns In The Wild West

January 14, 2022 at 11:17 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

In the old Wild West town of Laramie Wyoming, a group of outlaws and brigands were threatening the town’s good citizens.

This duo found their car seized by the outlaws and brigands.

Who were the outlaws and brigands?

Neo-Bolshevik Communists also known as the U.S. Democratic Party.

Northwest of Wyoming, Washington state’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Party government was introducing legislation to set up quarantine camps in Washington state.

America’s senile old fool and Neo-Stalinst tyrant Joe Biden was becoming more and more of a tyrannical despot with each passing day.

Anybody who was opposed to Neo-Bolshevik Communism taking over the U.S., Joe Biden referred to them as “white supremacists and domestic terrorists”.

This was rich coming from Biden who was best friends and mentored by West Virginia’s KKK Democratic Senator Robert Byrd.

After the gun wielding duo shot and killed the approaching Neo-Bolshevik Communist band of brigands, the ghost of Karl Marx appeared, looked at the dead bodies and shrugged, “There’s probably more where they came from.”

The ghost of Karl Marx had just come from the Vatican where he had been meeting with Pope Francis giving him ideas on how to form a global Marxist One-World government.

Marx’s ghost opened a book and said, “I’d now like to read a poem I wrote called The Player…”

“Thus Heaven I forfeited. I know it full well.
My soul once true to God is chosen for Hell.”

Marx went on, “And now from my poem Oulanem…”

“See this sword, this blood-dark sword, which stands unerringly within my soul?
Where did I get this sword?
The Prince of Darkness.
The Prince of Darkness sold it to me.
The Hellish vapours rise and fill the brain
Until my heart goes mad, until I go utterly insane.”

Marx’s ghost then smiled and said, “I’d now like to quote my favourite line from all of literature. It comes from Goethe’s Faust from the character of Mephistopheles where he says…”

“Everything that exists deserves to perish.”

The ghost of German film director Leni Riefenstahl (who made the 1935 Nazi propaganda film Triumph of The Will) then appeared on the scene.

She had recently been dispensationally released from the Underworld at Pope Francis’ request in order to make propaganda films for the New World Order Nazi/Fascist/Communist Hybrid Geopolitical Project aka The Great Reset.

The films would of course be shown on CNN, MSNBC, CBS, NBC, ABC and PBS.

As well as every major television network in Canada, the United Kingdom and Western Europe.

Marx repeated his favourite line from all of literature: from Goethe’s Faust from the character of Mephistopheles…

“Everything that exists deserves to perish.”

Leni Riefenstahl then showed movie footage of the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans of Antifa tearing down statues and burning down and looting businesses and neighbourhoods in the U.S. during the summer of 2020 in what the brainless mainstream media referred to at the time as “peaceful protests”.

She then showed footage of senile old fool Joe Biden, Ottawa’s biggest residential idiot Justin Trudeau, World Economic Forum CEO and quintessential German movie character like villain Klaus Schwab, the satanic Antipope Jorge Mario Bergoglio, billionaire Trotskyite George Soros and eugenics population control freak Bill Gates saying that everything must be torn down and rebuilt.

The ghosts of 19th Century Freemasonic Pontiff and Confederate General Albert Pike and Freemasonic Roosevelt Cabinet Secretary (and later Vice-President) Henry A. Wallace (who argued for the phrase Novus Ordo Seclorum being put on the U.S. $1 bill in 1935) then appeared and said in unison, “Ordo Ab Chao”.

Order out of chaos.

But an Antichrist satanic diabolical order.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 14th

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Renfield Meets A Faux Royal Guardsman Plus Michelangelo’s Vision of Awards Ceremonies

November 17, 2021 at 8:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was walking down a London street when he noticed a man dressed as a Buckingham Palace Royal Guardsman standing in front of a travel agency.

The man would ask passers-by questions and then take off his hat and pull a bunch of brochures out of his fur hat and give it to the passers-by.

Renfield walked by the travel agency’s faux Royal Guardsman.

The Guardsman doffed his hat and asked Renfield, “Excuse me but will you be travelling abroad?”.

Renfield replied, “If you asked Joe Biden’s Assistant Secretary of Health Richard/Rachel Levine that question, they’d answer, ‘Of course I will.’ ”

. . .

Michelangelo the Pyschic Lobster was in his Set Enterprises aquarium having a vision of an awards ceremony taking place.

The Awards show host was opening an envelope and saying, “And the winner of Canada’s Biggest Asshole of the Year Award For 2021 goes to… Justin Trudeau.”

Justin Trudeau stands and bows and acknowleges the crowd’s applause before kissing his wife, his mother and the ghosts of Fidel Castro and Pierre Elliot Trudeau before going up on stage to accept the award.

The Awards show’s announcer pointed out, “This is Mr. Trudeau’s 7th nomination and 7th win in this category since becoming Prime Minister of Canada in 2015.”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster then had a vision of another awards ceremony.

The Awards show host was opening an envelope and saying, “And the winner of America’s Biggest Asshole of The Year Award For 2021 goes to… Joe Biden.”

The Awards show announcer pointed out, “This is Mr. Biden’s 1st nomination and 1st win in this category since becoming President of the United States in 2021.”

Mr. Biden’s Secret Service detail literally had to drag Biden on to the stage to accept the award since he was so engaged in sniffing the hair of the 6-year-old girl who had been sitting in front of him.

“You lecherous old pervert,” the girl’s mother shouted at Biden as he was dragged on to the stage.

“Thank you, thank you very much,” Biden waved at the crowd before accepting the Golden Buttocks With The Large Anus statuette.

The Awards show announcer said, “Statues for this category are personally polished by Australia’s infamous Uncle Ernie.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 17th

The Wolfman: If I was Joe Biden, I’d sniff your hair.

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Some Renfieldian Mischief On A November Day

November 11, 2021 at 10:07 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was flying over America in one of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airships named The Robert E. Lee.

The name of the ship was lit up in neon so as to positively offend all “woke” and cancel culture individuals on the ground below.

Renfield was performing acts of mischief.

He had hacked into a computerized video presentation being held at a military academy for army cadets.

The academy would apparently be visited by senile old fool Joe Biden next week and the instruction video was showing the cadets how to perform a 21-gun salute.

The video was showing actual footage of another military academy giving a 21-gun salute to Biden.

Renfield had hacked into the video’s audio making the narrator sound like the narrator of one of those old 1950s public service style films that were shown to school kids during Film period in schools.

Renfield had also written his own script for the 1950s style Film narrator to deliver.

As the video started with Biden approaching the assembly of military cadets on the martial drill grounds, the 1950s narrator began his narration of the instructional video being shown to this cadre of cadets,

“Joe Biden is America’s Pooper-In-Chief. As Carly Simon might put it in a theme song for a James Bond movie, “Nobody does it better…”
Yes, whether it’s extending geetings to the Pope or letting America’s middle class and workers know what he actually thinks of them, Joe is the sort of man who’s willing to show the world exactly what he’s full of.”

As Joe Biden in the video went and stood on the dais with which he would view the honour guard as the 21-gun salute sounded, Renfield’s 1950s style film narrator continued, “And it is from this vantage point that Joe Biden will drop a 21-load salute in his pants…”

The video finally came to a screeching halt as the Drill Sargeant screamed “Off!” and cadets were rolling around on the floor in huge gales of laughter.

Renfield then had the dirigible flown over Saint John, New Brunswick where he did a podcast broadcasting to residents below.

“Saint John New Brunswick is the home of 52-year-old Canadian cardiologist Dr. Sohrab Lutchmedial who spent most of 2021 insulting the unvaccinated,” Renfield explained, “Lutchmedial told the unvaccinated only weeks ago, “I won’t cry at your funeral” and now he himself has kicked the bucket two weeks after his 3rd mRNA injection shot.”

Then Renfield added, “Might I suggest giving this fool the posthumous raspberry he so richly deserves by bringing New Year’s Eve party horns and bells and a bunch of Whoopie! cushions to his funeral.”

As Renfield flew back across the Atlantic, already the British Foreign Office was receiving numerous complaints from both Washington DC and Ottawa over the MP’s North American visit.

Angelique Dumont said to her boyfriend Amadeus Emanon (who was Renfield’s best friend), “I can’t believe there’s anybody in the world like Renfield.”

To which Amadeus responded, “In these times in which we live, if Renfield didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 11th

A poster for James Cameron’s 1997 film Titanic outside a London repertory film theatre which had been retouched by Renfield.

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Bergoglio’s Vatican: Seat For The Coming Antichrist?

November 9, 2021 at 10:32 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

In a directive issued this past October 7th that went unreported by the mainstream media, Pope Francis’ Diocese of Rome forbade the celebration of the Roman Liturgy for Easter next Easter.

It also forbade the celebration of Roman liturgies for the Easter Triduum (Holy Thursday service, Good Friday service and Holy Saturday evening vigil) during Holy Week next year.

Commented Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds, “Bergoglio doesn’t want any commemoration of the Passion, Death, Burial and Resurrection of Jesus Christ.”

Meanwhile over in California, its Neo-Stalinist tyrant governor Gavin Newsom may be requiring a miracle of his own.

He hadn’t been seen in public since this past October 27th when he got his third booster shot.

He made a brief statement given today and as he spoke, his hands shook indicating he may be suffering from Bell’s Palsy.

The demons Baal and Baphomet watched the statement.

Baphomet (who was busy sodomizing Biden’s token fruit Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg in the butt causing him to make outrageously stupid statements such as “America’s highways are inherently racist”) asked the demon Baal (who was demonic entity advisor on the boards of both Pfizer and Moderna), “Why didn’t Newsom take a saline solution for his jabs like Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden and Dr. Anthony Fauci did?”.

“Beats me,” Baal shrugged.

And in other news, it was announced that the Vatican and the cuckoo loving nation of Switzerland had signed a joint declaration calling for the worldwide abolition of the Death Penalty.

Renfield mentioned the news item on his podcast- a podcast he began by calling for the public execution by firing squad of Australia’s Victoria state dictator Dan Andrews and his Gestapoesque Chief Commissioner of Police Shane Patton.

Renfield then went on to discuss the Swiss-Vatican Accord on the Death Penalty.

“This accord is as full of holes as a piece of Swiss cheese or a Jesuit bishop’s fantasy dream of what he sees sticking up and waiting for him in a gay bath house…” Renfield began.

As he spoke, a photo of Pope Francis and a Swiss looking gentleman wearing t-shirts was shown on the screen behind him.

The t-shirts that both Bergoglio and the Swiss looking gentleman were wearing said the same thing, IF OUR IDIOTIC POLICIES HAD BEEN ADOPTED 2000 YEARS AGO, JESUS WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DIE FOR OUR SINS IN 33 AD.

Meanwhile Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was reading a news story about how badly Joe Biden had pooped his pants in the presence of the Pope.

He had not only pooped his pants but had pooped all over the Vatican floor.

Michelangelo then watched some Lionel Richie music videos from the 1980s and then he went to bed.

He had a horrifying dream of Joe Biden dancing on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel singing his own paraphrased version of Lionel Richie’s Dancing On The Ceiling and with his back brown stained pants and underpants down was pooping all over Michelangelo’s priceless Renaissance masterpiece paintings.

Sang, danced and pooped Biden, “Oh, what a feeling when I’m dancing on the ceiling…”

And Biden’s poop fell and splattered all over the Michelangelo masterpiece of God creating Adam.

It was the end of the world as we knew it and it wasn’t even the Last Judgment yet.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 9th

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