Pan Goatee Beheads Brainless Uglo While Matthew Fox Is In The Running To Become The Next Unholy Grand Inquisitor

April 14, 2022 at 10:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Krampus The Demon much prefers Christmas to April snowstorms

It was April.

And there was a huge snowstorm happening.

So much for global warming.

Former U.S. Vice-President Al Gore found himself buried under 6 feet of snow.

And as far as the snow clearing crews were concerned, Gore could remain buried.

While much of North America found itself buried under feet of white, the Oval Office in the White House found itself buried under feet of brown.

“My Depends runneth over,” senile old Joe whined.

Today was also the 110th Anniversary of the night the Titanic struck an iceburg.

Ukraine marked the anniversary by sinking the pride and flagship of the Russian Navy’s Black Sea fleet the guided-missile cruiser Moskva.

Meanwhile the charismatic genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was riding a bus.

His stomach started to churn when a repulsive uglo got on the bus.

However unlike many uglos, she went and sat at the back of the bus so Goatee wouldn’t have to look at her repulsive ugly face.

Later Goatee went to a office to get some paper work done and faxes sent.

He was out walking when the same repulsive uglo he had seen on the bus earlier was now walking straight towards him.

“What? Seeing your stupid ugly face twice in the same day? I’m making sure it doesn’t happen again,” Goatee beheaded the repulsive uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the demon arrived being pulled in a one horse open sleigh through the blinding snowstorm.

“It’s almost Easter and it’s starting to look a lot like Christmas,” Krampus observed.

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Peter Cottontail (hopping down the bunny trail) collided on the icy snowy streets.

. . .

Meanwhile at the Vatican in Rome, satanic AntiPope Francis, as he had done on the island of Malta, was directing that all Crosses and Crucifixes be taken down so as not to offend Muslims.

Meanwhile on loudspeakers parked outside the Vatican, the voice of British MP Renfield R. Renfield could be heard reading aloud Canto 28 of Dante’s Inferno.

And Pope Francis was telling an aide that he was thinking of appointing the New Age astrology believing and witchcraft practicing Episcopalian priest Father Matthew Fox (who had been a Dominican priest until he had been investigated for his whacko beliefs by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger the future Pope Benedict XVI) to be the new head of the Congregation For The Doctrine of the Faith.

It would be the new Unholy Grand Inquistor’s job to enforce the syncretistic beliefs of Jorge Mario Bergoglio’s new Church to be called Mystery Babylon The Mother of Harlots.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 14th
2022.

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Francis: Come On Do The Pachamama With Him

March 24, 2022 at 11:06 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s vision of the actress who will play Pachamama in the Martin Scorsese made film about the life of the Inca earth mother goddess who is a red dragon that lives in the flames under the Earth but is able to shapeshift into a beautiful woman who walks on the earth or lives in the sky above the earth

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster got a premonition that director Martin Scorsese was going to make a film about Pachamama the Inca earth mother goddess that satanic AntiPope Francis was going to consecrate all of humanity and in particular Russia and Ukraine to (although he was claiming it was to the Virgin Mary).

Then Michelangelo got a vision of the actress who would play Pachamama in the Martin Scorsese film.

Michelangelo’s lobster tank exploded when he saw the vision.

. . .

Jeffrey the otter had somehow managed to stumble into DARPA headquarters after having drunk too many bottles of Elon Musk’s Mars Project Green Minnow Beer.

Jeffrey put on the radio where the DARPA wireless was picking up secret radio transmissions from the Vatican.

The radio transmissions were playing a song that Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) had secretly recorded a couple of years ago.

The song was to the tune of Kylie Minogue’s song The Loco-Motion.

Jeffrey heard Bergoglio sing,

“Everybody’s doin’ a brand new dance now
(Come on baby do the Pachamama)
I know you’ll get to like it if you give it a chance now
(Come on baby do the Pachamama) …

… You gotta swing your hips now…

Come on baby do the Pachamama with me…”

. . .

And tomorrow everybody would be doing the Pachamama with Pope Francis as Francis would be consecrating the world, the church, humanity and Russia and Ukraine to Pachamama (but doing so under the guise that he was doing it to Mary) in union with all the bishops of the world.

Meanwhile as the Set Enterprises’ long suffering janitor was busy mopping up the mess left by yet another of Michelangelo’s exploded lobster tanks, the psychic crustacean had yet another vision.

Actor/director Mel Gibson was reading the story of the statue of Our Lady of Copacabana.

Francisco Tito Yupanqui (1550-1616) an amateur Inca sculptor and a descandant of Huayna Capac (1464-1524) who had been the third Sapa Inca (Emperor) of the Inca Empire (which lasted from 1438 to 1533) desired to carve a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

He carved many wooden statues but was unsatisfied with the result.

On February 2nd 1582 the Virgin Mary appeared to Francisco Tito Yupanqui with a message.

Francisco Tito Yupanqui used the vision to carve his next statue.

Howver this statue somehow wound up in a river.

It was found by the priest of the village of Copacabana a year later on February 2nd 1583 and was dedicated in the church there.

Today that statue of the Virgen de Copacabana is the Patron Saint of Bolivia.

Mel Gibson recalled that prior to 2019, the message Our Lady of Copacabana gave to Francisco Tito Yupanqui was found in many accounts on the Net.

After 2019 the message was scrubbed and erased from the Net.

What was the message of Our Lady of Copacabana to Francisco Tito Yupanqui?

“I know there are some among your people who still worship the old goddess Pachamama. Stop worshipping her. She is a demon.”

Of course in October of 2019, Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) brought a statue of Pachamama into the Vatican Gardens and later into the presence of the High Altar of Saint Peter’s Basilica itself.

Thus the Virgin Mary’s warning about Pachamama being a demon suddenly disappeared.

. . .

Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. of E. Parish in West London was having a discussion with one of his parishioners Amadeus Emanon about the text of Pope Francis’ proposed consecration of humanity, Russia and Ukraine to Mary (?).

Said Father Saint Edmunds, “I noticed MP Renfield’s friend a Calgary based geopolitical analyst says that most of the text is just a rehash of globalist, radical environmentalist and Communist Marxist-Leninist crap and propaganda. In other words just a rehash of everything that Francis has said in every official document and major statement he has released since the start of his so-called pontificate.”

“What about the words of Consecration itself?” Amadeus asked.

“Here’s where it gets interesting,” Father Saint Edmunds answered, “At one point it says in the English text “Queen of Heaven, restore God’s peace to the world”. Now as you know many Protestants object to the Catholic description of Mary as Queen of Heaven because of the passages in Jeremiah condemning worship of the Queen of Heaven that are to be found in Jeremiah 7:18 and Jeremiah 44: 17-25. Interestingly enough though that title Queen of Heaven for Ashtoreth in the ancient Assyrian and Babylonian languages was actually rendered Queen of The Land In The Sky. It was translated Queen of Heaven into Hebrew and then into Greek and then into Latin and then into English as Queen of Heaven but since the time of Christ while Heaven might be regarded metaphorically as the Land In The Sky, Heaven is regarded by the Church as the abode of God and the Saints in a realm beyond time and space. The Land In The Sky is a very spatial/temporal term while Heaven since the time of Christ refers to a realm beyond the spatial/temporal. Thus Mary called Queen of Heaven is actually a very metaphysical term while Queen of the Land In The Sky which is what Ashtoreth was actually called in the Assyrian and Babylonian languages is very much a term associated with this universe i.e. this creation. And worship of the creation is idolatry or paganism.”

“Interesting,” Amadeus acknowledged.

“Here’s where it gets even more interesting, the English text says (Queen of) Heaven but the Spanish, Portuguese and Italian texts are rendered differently. What’s called Heaven in English is rendered “tierra del Cielo” in Spanish, “terra do Ceu” in Portuguese and “terra del Cielo” in Italian. All of those terms roughly translate to Earth In The Sky or Land In The Sky. And who goes by that title Queen of The Land In The Sky? Other than Ashtoreth in the ancient Assyrian and Babylonian religions? The Pachamama demon. The land in the sky is one of the Pachamama’s domains. “Tierra del Cielo” is an official Pachamama title. It is “wenu mapu” in the Mapuche language and religion.”

“So Francis is effectively consecrating the world, the church, humanity and specifically Russia and Ukraine to the demon Pachamama?” Amadeus was horrified.

“That’s right,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds nodded.

“What do you think this will cause?” Amadeus wiped his brow with his handkerchief.

“Most likely either a nuclear World War III or the appearance of the Antichrist on the global stage or both,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds answered.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 24th
2022

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Ukraine and The Bergoglio Consecretation

March 16, 2022 at 9:50 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Ukrainian secret agent Inna Huculak watches as a U.S. government research scientist and frequent Science commentator on CNN turns himself into a pile of fungus after sampling the contents of a test tube from a U.S. government bioweapons research lab in Ukraine

In America, the ever moronic and ever satanic Left had now found a new scapegoat to replace the unvaccinated.

Those were the people who claimed that the U.S. government had bioweapons research labs in Ukraine.

People like Fox News commentator Tucker Carlson and 2020 Democratic Party Presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard must be immediately charged and tried for high treason.

The Left of the Democratic Party (which was now pretty much the entire U.S. Democratic Party as well as numerous RINO Neo-conservative warmongering Republican blowhards) had already up given such antiquated notions as due process and the right to a fair trial and laid those notions at the feet of Citizen Maximilien Robespierre, Louis Antoine de Saint-Just and their fellow Reign of Terror Committee of Public Safety cohorts.

The Neo-Robespierrean Reign of Terror in the U.S. had begun after the 6th of January 2021 protests (labeled a riot and an insurrection by the brainless mainstream media who didn’t use the same terminology for Antifa and BLM scumbags) in which Nancy Pelosi and the Neo-Bolshevik Communists who ran the FBI, the Department of Homeland Security and the Department of Justice demanded the end of freedom in America.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield meanwhile was having a Wednesday night podcast.

“What is currently unfolding in Ukraine today is the result of a coup d’etat in 2014 a coup d’etat that was supported by the Barack Obama Administration and billionaire businessman George Soros,” Renfield pointed out.

Renfield in his history lesson mentioned that a pro-Russian candidate Victor Yanukovych won the Ukrainian Presidential election in 2010 the same year that Ukraine’s Parliament voted to abandon NATO membership aspirations.

In February 2014, President Yanukovych a democratically elected leader was arbitrarily and unconstitutionally removed from office.

A couple of months before that coup in Kiev in December 2013, Arizona’s late warmongering Neo-Conservative Sen. John McCain told leaders of the Ukrainian opposition camped on Kiev’s main square named Maidan that “Ukraine will make Europe better and Europe will make Ukraine better. And the destiny you seek lies in Europe.”

Such pro-globalist garbage uttered by a McCain.

On February 22nd 2014 Ukrainian President Victor Yanukovych was removed from office without a formal process of impeachment being followed thus violating the Ukrainian Constitution.

Russia retaliated against the Obama Administration orchestrated illegal coup by annexing the region of Crimea in March 2014.

Since that time pro-Western governments in Ukraine have sought to bring Ukraine into the orbit of NATO, the EU and the George Soros-Klaus Schwab Great Reset New World Order.

“We all know the novel Wuthering Heights and the character of Heathcliff,” Renfield commented, “Heathcliff was treated very badly by his adopted brother Hindley. Hindley was a monster in the way he treated Heathcliff. However Heathcliff as a result of that treatment eventually wound up becoming a monster himself. We see the same happening with Vladimir Putin. NATO, the EU and especially the corruption ridden Biden family have done their best to remove Ukraine from Russia’s orbit. However Putin’s megalomaniacal desire for a Neo-Imperial Russian Empire has turned him into a monster like Heathcliff became in the final chapters of Wuthering Heights. So in the Ukraine War, we’ve got one spawn of Satan (Putin) battling another spawn of Satan (the New World Order). And now the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) proposes to undo this demonic Gordian Knot by consecrating both Russia and Ukraine to the Immaculate Heart of Mary this coming March 25th the Feast of the Annunciation. But the question is can a satanic AntiPope carry out such an Act of Consecration? Wouldn’t such a Consecration be considered blasphemy?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 16th
2022.

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Pan Goatee Slays Uglos To Mark Ring of Fire Solar Eclipse

June 21, 2020 at 10:32 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

“Beautiful women are proof that Heaven exists.”

-Actor Ricardo Montalban

“And ugly women are proof that Hell exists.”

-Satyr global aesthetics and beautification campaigner Pan Goatee

Pan Goatee was very much regretting the fact that today’s Ring of Fire solar eclipse was over Asia and parts of Africa rather than over the western half of North America.

For it would have been better today if darkness fell over western North America on the 1st day of the summer solstice.

The reason being that loads of ugly women in the city where Pan Goatee lived decided to ruin the first day of summer for everyone by walking around in public without wearing paper bags over their heads.

The first ugly woman that the genetically created satyr serial killer noticed was one walking out of a physiotherapy clinic at a nearby shopping centre.

“You don’t need physiotherapy, you need plastic surgery,” Pan Goatee remarked as he lopped off the uglo’s head with his astral laser machete.

The next uglo he came across was some facially aesthetically challenged creature who was sitting on a chair in front of a barber shop.

“These poor guys have only recently opened up after 3 months of lockdown,” Pan Goatee pointed out as he lopped off this uglo’s head, “I don’t think they appreciate an ugly looking thing parked in front frightening off all the customers.”

Dostoevsky once wrote that beauty could save the world.

No wonder the western world was on the brink of a widespread Neo-Marxist insurrection with all these uglos walking about, Goatee politically philosophized.

On his way back home, Goatee passed a fat ugly blimp sitting at a bus stop.

“Why aren’t you busy tearing down statues with all the other uglos and their brainless boyfriends with incredibly bad taste in politics, economics, culture and women?” Goatee asked rhetorically aloud as he lopped off the blimp’s head.

. . .

Pope Francis the Vicar of Cthulhu and Mictlantecuhtli was sitting at his office in the Vatican when the phone rang.

“Hello, Comrade Jorge here,” Francis spoke into the receiver.

“Hello, this is the AntiOdysseus,” said the voice at the other end.

“The AntiOdysseus?” Pope Francis was quizzical.

“Yes,” answered the exasperated voice at the other end, “If there’s an Odysseus, there’s got to be an AntiOdysseus.”

“I suppose,” Francis chewed on his pencil.

“Listen, me and the boys here have just finished building a huge giant wooden statue of the Baphomet on wheels at an Italian government lodge outside Rome and we’d like to bring it down to Rome and wheel it within the walls of the Vatican,” the AntiOdysseus explained, “Is that all right?”.

“I guess that’s all right,” Francis checked his day and night planner, “If Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI was here, he’d probably object to a huge giant wooden statue of the Baphomet being wheeled into the Vatican. But he’s currently in Regensburg in Bavaria.”

. . .

“Both Nazism and Communism are the bastard children of Freemasonry.
With last night’s tearing down of the statue of the white supremacist, Aryan race promoting, swastika worshipping and Ku Klux Klan co-founding Scottish Rite Freemasonic Confederate General Albert Pike in Washington DC, it is now obvious which bastard child of Freemasonry is on the ascendant in America.
It is Communism the bastard child of French Grand Orient Lodge Freemasonry and Adam Weishaupt’s Bavarian Illuminati.”

-Renfield R. Renfield MP

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 21st
2020.

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Italian Freemasonic Grandmaster Says Pope Francis Is Prototype of Enlightened Despot of The World

June 28, 2018 at 10:34 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Italian Freemasonic Grandmaster Says Pope Francis Is Prototype of Enlightened Despot of The World

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was staring in disbelief at the two pieces of information he held in his hands.

One was an interview that the Italian Freemasonic Grandmaster Giuliano Di Bernardo had given to the Italian newspaper Libero.

Giuliano Di Bernardo was Grand Master of the Grand Orient of Italy from 1990 to 1993 and later the founder and first grandmaster of the Grand Lodge of Italy from 1993 until 2001.

In interviews, Di Bernardo said that “global society cannot be governed democratically but only through a community of Wise Men who embody the One – the Enlightened Tyrant”.

Libero asked Di Bernardo, “What is your prototype of an enlightened tyrant?”.

Di Bernardo replied, “If I really should name one, I would say, Pope Francis.”

The other bit of information that Peter Whitstable held in his hand was a letter he had received from a Catholic priest in France who was the pastor of a small rural parish.

The priest said that Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) concerned about the huge number of cardinals, bishops and priests who objected to his papal policies (his papal policies that generally consisted of rejecting the doctrines that had been believed in and taught by the Church for the past 2000 years) was going to enact and demand a personal oath of loyalty and fealty by every cardinal, bishop, priest and deacon to himself personally Jorge Mario Bergoglio or otherwise be excommunicated from the Catholic Church.

Peter Whitstable in his mind could hear Robin the Boy Wonder say to his fellow Caped Crusader, “Unholy Trinity, Batman. Can you say False Prophet and Antichrist?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 28th
2018.

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Pope Francis and The Satanic Sacrifice In Geneva

June 22, 2018 at 10:15 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Pope Francis and The Satanic Sacrifice In Geneva

Pan Goatee was walking around transit stops once again continuing his aesthetically inspired efforts in making the city more attractive by improving the visual appearance of its local transit system.

He had his laser machete and a karaoke headpiece with him.

He also had a can of gasoline.

As he started this evening’s slash and burn policy of ridding the city of its ugly females, he sang his own version of an old Wang Chung song from the mid-1980s:

I’d slash a million heads
to promote beauty
(Cuts off the head of an ugly looking girl)
So if you’re feeling low
cause you saw an uglo
(kicks the head away)
The blades I use are strong
They create beauty
But now the gasoline’s on
Light this head to Hell

(Pours gasoline over the head)

Rip it up
Slash down
Rip it up
Rid the world of its frown
Rip it up
Burn down
Rip it up
Beauty increases in town

Everybody slash ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody slash ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody slash ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight

Deep in the world tonight
(cuts off the head of a fat ugly woman)
The heads are going down
The blood will really flow
all the way across town

Rip it up
(cuts off the head of an even fatter and even uglier woman)
Slash down
Rip it up
Kick it down the ground
(Kicks head down the street)
Rip it up
burn down
Rip it up
Get out what’s inside of you
(takes off his Happy Days Fonzie black leather jacket and exposes a t-shirt that says GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER PSYCHOPATH)

Everybody kill ughs tonight
Everybody kill ughs tonight
Everybody have fun tonight…

On the edge of oblivion
All the world is Babylon
And all the love and everyone
A ship of fools sailing on
It’s the Voyage of the Damned tonight
Charon is hanging on

Across the nation
massive constipation
Everybody Ex-Lax tonight
An enema that cuts through the grime
I don’t consider it a crime

. . .

The ghost of the late Iraqi President Saddam Hussein had somehow managed to escape the fires 🔥 of Tartarus when Hades (the Greek god of the Underworld) had his back turned.

Hades at the time was taking some giant lobsters out of a bag that were a gift to him from his brother Poseidon the god of the sea 🌊.

Hades was planning to roast the lobsters at a massive shake and bake that he was planning at one of the world’s largest volcanoes 🌋 during the next month.

Saddam’s ghost was currently in the city of Istanbul because he had heard that the Vietnamese government in Hanoi was going to name Ho Babylon Minh (the vampiress granddaughter of the late Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh) the Vietnamese Ambassador to the revived Ottoman Empire.

Saddam who had spent time roasting away on a spit in Tartarus was a little behind (in the opinion of Truman Capote’s ghost) in his knowledge of the world’s current affairs.

He was not aware that Turkey’s 🇹🇷 despotic and demagogic President Recep Tayyip Erdogan had not yet formally proclaimed the revival of the Ottoman Empire with himself (Erdogan) as the new Sultan of Constantinople and the new Caliph of the new Global Islamic Caliphate.

Erdogan was hoping to do extremely well in the Presidential and Parliamentary elections this coming Sunday June 24th (the Feast Day of the Nativity of Saint John the Baptist) and then he’d announce the creation of the revived Ottoman Empire with himself as Sultan and Caliph.

As Hades rummaged through the bag of lobsters looking for a psychic lobster to eat first, Persephone noticed that Saddam’s ghost had gone missing.

She immediately sent the 3-headed dog Cerberus up to Earth to find Saddam’s ghost and bring him back to Tartarus.

. . .

Pope Francis was in his bedroom in the Vatican discussing the difference between dreams and reality with the ghost of Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Gustav Jung.

Why Pope Francis had asked Hades to temporarily grant Dr. Jung’s ghost a dispensation to leave Purgatory for a while was there was something that the Jesuit pontiff wished to discuss with the well known expert on dreams.

The matter had been bothering Father Jorge Mario Bergoglio (as Pope Francis was known to close associates) for the past 24 hours.

Ever since he had returned to Rome from Geneva.

The pontiff had spent the Summer Solstice in Geneva attending 70th anniversary celebrations for the World Council of Churches.

After the celebration, Francis had been invited to attend what was called “a non-Anglican Evensong service” in an abandoned and desolate Catholic Church on the outskirts of Geneva.

During the service, Francis saw a 16-year-old beautiful young Russian girl (who was said to be both a virgin and the youngest living (until then) female relative of the old Russian Imperial Romanov family) sacrificed to the satanic idol image of Baphomet while Vladimir Lenin’s ghost looked on and applauded.

During the sacrifice of the Russian girl, the Baphomet appeared in person and sang those old Cat Stevens lyrics, “I’m being followed by a moonshadow, moon shadow, moonshadow” as he played the song on an electric guitar 🎸 while a werewolf howled outside the very unusual looking stained glass window depicting the image of Judas Iscariot.

“What I want to know,” Francis asked Jung as he wiped his glasses, “was this just a dream I had or did this actually happen?”.

Jung took off his own pair of spectral glasses 👓 and wiped them with his spectral handkerchief, “I’ll need to discuss this further with one of my colleagues. Preferably Sigmund Freud.”

Francis got on his Hermes Trismegistus smart phone and dialled Hades’ private number to ask him to give Sigmund Freud’s ghost a temporary dispensation from Purgatory.

“Awwww, shit,” Hades cried as one of the lobsters pinched him on the buttocks with his claws when the Greek chthonic deity was distracted by the sound of Johann Sebastian Bach’s Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring ring tone playing on his own Hermes Trismegitus smart phone.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 22nd
2018.

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Pope Francis and The Mysterious Stranger

April 7, 2018 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pope Francis and The Mysterious Stranger

Renfield R. Renfield MP was giving a speech on the Best of British Culture to the Society of Friends and Supporters of the Royal Opera.

He was finishing singing the Lumberjack Song from Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

Lord Geese-Hogg who was sitting at a table with his wife Lady Geese-Hogg motioned for one of the banquet waiters to bring him another drink.

“Genghis,” Lady Glenda Geese-Hogg called her husband by his first name, “I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight.”

“Oh, all right,” Lord Genghis Geese-Hogg sighed.

Renfield, as he was getting out of his woman’s bra and dress and taking off his lumberjack jacket, was suddenly handed a note.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Renfield went up to the microphone 🎤 to make an announcement, “I’ve just been informed that the Syrian government has used chemical weapons in a toxic gas attack on Douma the last rebel held town in Eastern Ghouta. So far 70 civilians have died including numerous children.”

Renfield immediately changed into his William Wallace Scottish warrior kilt accompanied with his Highlander broad sword 🗡.

“On a personal observatory note,” Renfield added, “Both French President Emmanuel Macron and America’s Donald Trump have warned the Syrian government in the past that a chemical weapons attack is a red line that mustn’t be crossed. We all know that Trump isn’t the limp wristed pansy that Barack Obama was as a military leader.
Now a chemical weapons attack by the Syrian government has been done in the open.
That red line has been crossed.
How will Trump and Macron respond?
If they let it pass, they’ll lose face.
We all know that the one thing Donald Trump will never do is lose face.
And the homicidal regime of Vladimir Putin have said they will support the homicidal regime of Bashar al-Assad at all costs. Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, the world may now be on the brink of World War III.”

Lord Genghis Geese-Hogg called back the waiter, “I’ll have a hundred more drinks 🍹 🍸 🍷 please.”

“Make that double for me,” Lady Glenda Geese-Hogg added.

. . .

Pope Francis was in his bedroom when suddenly the door opened and in walked a mysterious stranger with jet black hair, jet black eyebrows, a jet black moustache and a jet black goatee beard.

Two locks of hair stuck up on top of his head that almost looked like horns.

The man was wearing a red velvet jacket, suit and pants.

“Who are you?” Francis asked.

“Mephistopheles,” the man laughed.

“Mephistopheles?” Francis looked horrified, “What do you want?”.

Mephistopheles laughed again.

He then turned and opened the door to exit.

“I hope I never see you again,” Francis, who was feeling around for his Cross but couldn’t find it, said in a horrified gasp.

Mephistopheles turned around and laughed the most sinister laugh that Francis had ever heard in his life, “I don’t think we shall ever meet again, Father Bergoglio,” the fallen angel paused and then smiled a most malevolent smile, “after all as you yourself have most recently said, there’s no such place as Hell.”

The entity then left the door open and walked out of the papal bedroom.

Intensely sinister laughter echoed down the halls and corridors.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 7th
2018.

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