Pan Goatee Beheads More Uglos and Morons While Stalin’s Saints Keep Marching On

October 16, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was about to get off a bus.

A fellow with a stupid looking expression on his face beat him to the back door exit (the fellow was so stupid looking that Pan guessed he was probably a supporter of vaccine mandates).

Anyways when the green light went on, the fellow was too stupid to wave his hand in front of the spot that said WAVE HERE to open the door.

Goatee was finally forced to wave his hand in front of the spot while the idiot in front of him stood totally clueless.

As the idiot got off the bus and stood there looking stupid, an ugly looking woman (of the thin ugly looking stoat variety according to the Goatee Classification System of Facially Aesthetically Challenged Uglos) ran in front of Goatee to get on the bus Goatee just got off.

Goatee immediately beheaded the thin ugly stoat and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

He did the same to her moronic looking boyfriend who ran alongside her.

He beheaded the jerk with incredibly bad taste in women and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

Goatee then went after the stupid looking idiot who did not know how to get off a bus.

“If you had known how to get off a bus, bozo, or at least stepped aside until I got off in front of you, I wouldn’t have had the misfortune of having that ugly looking creature run in front of me,” Goatee pointed out, “If you’re too stupid to know how to ride a bus, then don’t ride a bus, asshole.”

Goatee then beheaded the idiot and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

The idiot would not be riding a bus ever again.

Goatee then rushed to get on the next bus.

A fat ugly blimp (on the Goatee Classification System of Facially Aesthetically Challenged Uglos) decided to walk past Goatee to go up to flirt with the bus driver.

The bus driver must not have been from Calgary originally because he turned down the fatso uglo’s flirtations.

The fat ugly blimp on her way to the back of the bus (where she should have stayed) found herself being beheaded by Pan Goatee and cut up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the Austro-Hungarian and Bavarian demon goat arrived on the bus to carry the fat ugly blimp’s remains down to Tartarus.

“This is bringing back memories of why I’ve stopped riding the bloody Calgary Transit System,” Goatee commented, “Too many uglos and morons riding it.”

As Celine Dion used to sing, “It’s all coming back to me now…”

. . .

Celine Dion would not be singing the song My Heart Will Go On in the case of a 17-year-old Ontario hockey player Sean Hartman who died of a heart attack two weeks after receiving the vaccine jab against Covid.

Sean Hartman who had been playing hockey in Beeton, Ontario since he was 5 years old absolutely loved playing hockey.

But he wouldn’t be allowed to play hockey this season unless he got vaccinated.

So he got vaccinated and two weeks later he was dead.

At the same time, Public Health Ontario dryly released a report covering vaccination data from December 2020 to August 7th 2021 and dryly concluded “the highest reporting rate of myocarditis/pericarditis was observed in males age 18-24 years following second dose.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision of British MP Renfield R. Renfield overseeing the execution of New South Wales Chief Health Officer Dr. Kerry Chant by firing squad.

Dr. Kerry Chant was the ugly looking airhead who said, “A Covid-forever New World Order is the New Normal.”

Dr. Kerry Chant was wearing a hood over her head to prevent the firing squad from barfing all over the place which would have occurred if they saw her repulsively ugly and stupid looking face.

New South Wales would not have suffered any problems in the first place if Pan Goatee had been a citizen of that state.

Michelangelo applauded vigourously with his lobster claws as Dr. Kerry Chant was blown away to kingdom come by Renfield’s firing squad.

Meanwhile as a result of the massive vaccination campaign going on in the Neo-Maoist Neo-Stalinst Nazi Police State of Victoria in Australia, that state just got a new record of 2,297 new cases in a single day and 62.65% of those cases were among the double dosed.

Michelangelo sees people lining up to take the vaccine shot and as they do so, the Haitian Vodou spirit of Baron Samedi sings his own paraphrased version of an old New Orleans spiritual hymn,

“When Stalin’s saints come marching in,
When Stalin’s saints come marching in,
you better be, be, be in that number
When Stalin’s saints come marching in…”

Those lining up either keel over and die after getting the shot or turn into living dead zombies with their flesh falling off and wander the streets in search of brains.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 16th
2021.

Baron Samedi partying it up with a female disciple and singing, “When Stalin’s saints keep marching in…”

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The Wolfman and Joseph Stalin

October 30, 2017 at 7:55 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, Humour, International Intrigue, Movies, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The Wolfman and Josef Stalin

It was Christmas 1941 and Der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler was enjoying a private screening of the recently released 1941 American horror film The Wolfman with Lon Chaney Jr. in the title role.

“What a delightful film,” Der Fuhrer purred as he wiped sauerkraut off his lips with his napkin, “it makes me glad that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and not Hollywood.”

“Indeed,” Nazi Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebbels agreed as he swallowed a huge German sausage.

“I have something I’d like to show your Excellency,” the Ahnenerbe scientist Dr. Fritz Falkenberg stated.

“Please, I’ve looked at enough German sausages tonight,” Der Fuhrer remarked as he sipped a pinkish fruit cocktail.

“No,” Dr. Falkenberg spoke an incantation and the character of the Wolfman emerged from the film reel projector.

“Great Odin!” Hitler shrieked.

Dr. Falkenberg spoke the incantation backwards and the Wolfman returned into the film reel projector.

“Impressive,” Der Fuhrer clapped his hands and then wiped them with a napkin.

“I have taken the liberty of mailing a copy of The Wolfman film to Soviet Communist Party General-Secretary Josef Stalin,” Dr. Falkenberg explained, “with the incantation spoken over the film. When Stalin watches the film, the Wolfman will jump from the screen and kill him.”

“I hope you haven’t mailed it using a Third Reich post mark,” Goebbels ate a Polish pickle, “otherwise Stalin won’t open it. Our two countries are at war you know.”

“I used one of our spies in Canada to mail the movie from Ottawa to Moscow,” Dr. Falkenberg explained.

What Dr. Falkenberg hadn’t counted on was the slowness of Canada’s postal service.

The film didn’t arrive in Moscow until March 5th 1953.

Stalin was attacked and killed by the screen leaping Wolfman during the course of the film.

Radio Moscow promptly attributed Stalin’s death to natural causes.

Der Fuhrer was not alive to enjoy the announcement.

-A Halloween short story
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 30th
2017.

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Haiku About Hegelian Synthesis of Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union

March 22, 2014 at 3:20 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Politics) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Hegelian Synthesis of Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union

Hitler + Stalin
Hegel’s dialectics equals
Vladimir Putin

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Haiku About Russia’s Annexation of Crimea

March 20, 2014 at 6:39 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Russia’s Annexation of Crimea

Josef Stalin smiles
Lenin’s corpse wakes in new form
Putin makes his move

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Haikus About Today’s Violent Crackdown In Ukraine

February 18, 2014 at 7:39 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Haikus About Today’s Violent Crackdown In Ukraine

The police storm camp
many killed as protests crushed
Maidan Square flows blood

Ukraine’s President
looks at himself in mirror
Stalin reflects back

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