Great Caesar’s Ghost and Not So Great Josef Stalin’s Ghost On The Ides of March

March 15, 2020 at 10:55 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Great Caesar’s Ghost and Not So Great Josef Stalin’s Ghost On The Ides of March

The Norse trickster god Loki was up to his old tricks again.

He had arranged for the ghosts of Julius Caesar, Brutus and Cassius to be released from Hades and stand on the steps of the U.S. Capitol in Washington DC not far from the entrance to the U.S. Senate to re-enact the assassination of Julius Caesar for this Ides of March in 2020.

Donald Trump was in his limousine, on his way back to the White House from his toupee maker in DC, being driven by the steps of the U.S. Capitol when he saw the ghostly re-enactment of Caesar’s assassination.

“Okayyyyy,” was the Donald’s profoundly stupid statement.

The same statement he made when his Oval Office address on the Coronavirus was finished and he didn’t realize the cameras were still rolling.

. . .

Josef Stalin’s ghost had been continuously roasting away on his barbecue spit down in Tartarus ever since he kicked the bucket back in 1953.

However Loki convinced the Greek underworld god Hades to give Stalin a temporary dispensational release from Tartarus for about an hour or two.

Acting like the ghost of Christmas Present escorting Scrooge over London, Loki took Stalin to the U.S. where he took him to a COSTCO store parking lot and showed the late Soviet Communist Party General-Secretary the multitudinously vast long line ups of people waiting to get into the store.

Next he teleported Stalin to the toilet paper aisles of the COSTCO where there was absolutely nothing on the shelves.

“Wow,” Stalin was impressed, “Long line ups of people waiting to get into the store and then once inside, there’s nothing on the shelves for them to buy.”

Stalin looked at Loki with tears in his eyes, “It’s just like the old Soviet Union.”

He grabbed a roll of toilet paper that had apparently rolled under a bottom shelf invisible to mortals and tried to wipe his teary eyes.

“Soviet style Socialism has finally triumphed in America,” Stalin smiled.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 15th
2020.

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The Donald T-Rump Song

October 24, 2018 at 9:44 pm (Arts, Celebrities, Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, Music, News, Poetry, Politics, Satire, Songs) (, , , , , , , , , )

Oh, let us drink a drink, a drink
to Donald T-Rump, T-Rump
the saviour of the human race
or so he thought in his head
for which a poor red spider monkey bled

Now Donald T-Rump thought he was Julius Caesar
because he was just that type of senile geezer
but he forgot his Roman history
it’s certainly no mystery
Julius was assassinated
dying very constipated
and Augustus took over
like a four leaf clover
while Jared Kushner returns home from Dover
to take the reigns of power
for it is the False Messianic hour.

-A song written
by Christopher
Friday October 19th
2018
to the tune of
The Irish Rovers song
Lily The Pink

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Julius Caesar On The Ides of March: A Poem

March 15, 2017 at 4:23 pm (History, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , , )

Julius Caesar ventured out on the Ides of March
only to discover his toga was loaded with starch
Calpurnia had overdone herself
with premonitions off the shelf
from a soothsayer warning
to dreams before morning
The Ides of March for Caesar did not bare well
but Caesar told them all to go to Hell
or the equivalent Latin expression
but Cassius suffered not indigestion
with his lean and hungry look
from underneath toga a knife he took
and Brutus did deliver the final blow
Caesar’s toga was bloodied from head to toe
at the feet of Pompey’s statue Caesar fell
and his blood flowed like water from gushing well.

Great Caesar had fallen and could not get up
Blood and betrayal was in his final cup
it was a cup he was forced to drink
for from Ides of March he would not shrink
He had gone forth steadfast
to a moment to be his last

Sometimes it’s wise to listen to one’s wife
One could then live an extended life.

-A poem written by Christopher
March 15th 2017
The Ides of March

Calpurnia
Calpurnia warned her husband Julius not to go out on the Ides of March

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Passing The Torch: Julius Caesar On The Ides of March

March 15, 2016 at 8:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Passing The Torch: Julius Caesar On The Ides of March

The great Shakespearian actor Quentin O’ Sullivan was starring in a West End London theatre production of William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.

After the performance he met a fellow performer the New Orleans actress and songstress Angelique Dumont for late night/early morning drinks in a cocktail lounge.

Miss Dumont was playing Mina Harker in a musical version of Bram Stoker’s Dracula.

When they parted, Quentin O’ Sullivan laughed to himself as he walked down the street.

There were rumours that Miss Angelique Dumont was herself a Vampiress.

Quentin laughed.

Oh where, oh where do these silly rumours get started?

He turned to look back in Angelique’s direction but there was no sign of the purple evening dress wearing lovely brunette songstress and actress.

Only a small bat flying down the street.

Quentin laughed again.

He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow on his bed when he got home.

He dreamed a dream.

He dreamed he was in a theatre audience watching a live stage performance of Julius Caesar.

He could not see who was playing Caesar.

When Caesar fell after being stabbed by Brutus, Cassius and their fellow conspirators, the figure of Caesar dropped the Imperial Roman laurel crown of Emperor that Mark Antony had once offered him.

Donald Trump appeared on stage and picked up the blood soaked laurel wreath crown.

“Thank you, thank you very much ladies and gentlemen,” Donald Trump waved to the crowd, “The people of Ohio suck. But what can you say about a state that produces a comedian the likes of Drew Carey? However I thank all the intelligent voters who voted for me in all the places we won tonight. Thank you. And please light a votive candle to my genius and pray to my image. Thank you. Thank you very much.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 15th
2016.

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Netanyahu’s Dream of The Ides of March In Ancient Rome

March 15, 2015 at 8:11 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Netanyahu’s Dream of The Ides of March In Ancient Rome

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was asleep in bed.

He was dreaming that he was in Ancient Rome during the Ides of March in 44 BC.

The Israeli Prime Minister saw Julius Caesar being stabbed.

He saw Caesar’s face turning white as great Caesar’s ghost when he was stabbed by Brutus.

As Caesar cried, “And thou, Brutus” and fell on to the marble steps, Netanyahu caught a glimpse of Brutus’ face.

The Israeli Prime Minister awoke with a start.

He recognized the face of Brutus (the man who had betrayed and killed his friend Caesar) in the dream as the face of someone he Netanyahu had met and encountered in real life.

Netanyahu rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

But the face of Brutus in the dream suddenly vanished from his mind and memory.

Beware the Ides of March, Netanyahu recalled the soothsayer’s cry in William Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar.

“Beware Saint Patrick’s Day,” a tourist group of Irish Alcoholics’ Anonymous members shouted in unison as they passed an ad for Guinness in the streets of Jerusalem some blocks away.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 15th
2015.

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A Short Poem About The Ides of March

March 15, 2014 at 5:18 pm (History, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

A Short Poem About The Ides of March

Verily on the Ides of March
while holding a ment of parch
The noble Mark Antony read
Caesar’s will on spot where Caesar bled.

-written by Christopher
Saturday March 15th
2014.

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Haiku About Cassius of William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar

February 8, 2014 at 7:21 pm (History, Humour, Literature, Poetry, Satire) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Cassius of William Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar

A lean hungry look
he would not have slain Caesar
had he ate Big Mac

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Sunset Over Camelot

April 18, 2011 at 8:20 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

“What news, Lancelot?” KIng Arthur asked his most fearless knight.

“Many brave knights were lost, my liege,” Lancelot noted, “Mordred now controls most of the countryside.”

“But Mordred would have gone nowhere without Morgana’s help,” Arthur looked at the sunset which seemed to be setting both literally and metaphorically on Camelot.

“How did Morgana achieve such power?” Lancelot queried.

“Morgana always had great magical powers,” said Arthur, “her magical powers were so great that she was able to resurrect the Egyptian vampire Horus whose dust and ashly remains were brought to her from Egypt. It was Horus’ advice given to Mordred that led to his great military victories. Mordred would have been able to achieve nothing on his own.”

“In Merlin’s library, there was a story that the Vampire Horus had been staked and killed,” Lancelot recalled.

“Indeed,” Arthur nodded, “he was killed with a wooden spear through the heart wielded by the great Roman general Pompey the Great in 48 BC. It was that particular action of Pompey’s that led Horus’ mother the Vampiress Isis to throw her support behind Julius Caesar in the Roman civil war.”

“And now the Resurrected Horus’ support of Mordred will lead to the demise of Camelot by the looks of it,” Lancelot looked sadly at the golden spires of the magical city in the distance.

“Sadly on this Earth, it is often the case that all good things come to an end,” Arthur walked wearily back to his tent.

To be continued.

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