Marmalade and Hendrik’s Gin Revive A Leprechaun Again

February 22, 2021 at 11:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was once again lying under a contraption invented by Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague that would pour 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin down the leprechaun’s throat that would bring him back from the dead.

A recipe written down by Asclepius (the Greek god of medicine who was killed by a thunderbolt from Zeus) that wound its way on to a late 1940s matchbook from a Cairo nightclub said that a combination of juniper, cucumber and damask rose could be used to resurrect a leprechaun from the dead.

It just so happened that the ingredients used in making Hendrick’s Gin were juniper, cucumber and damask rose.

An analysis of the leprechaun’s blood showed that he had been poisoned by a combination of champagne and Fire Salamander toxic poisoning.

According to a Facebook status post Yaldabaoth had made this past Saturday night, the leprachaun wound up hopelessly lost in the streets of London and entered a building that he thought was the Imperial Aurora Hotel where he was staying.

He went up to his hotel room floor in the elevator and when he got off the elevator, he saw that he was in fact not in a hotel but most likely in an apartment building.

He decided to check out the floor and when he got back from his rounds of the floor, he noticed a beautiful woman wearing a short skirt pointing a gun at two men and forcing them to get on the elevator with her.

The men must be gay, Yaldabaoth deduced in Sherlockian fashion, because otherwise such a woman should have absolutely no problem in getting a couple of men to get into an elevator with her.

Yaldabaoth happened to pass an apartment door that was still open.

He peered inside and happened to notice a bottle of champagne with two glasses on a small table in the middle of the room.

The leprechaun went inside and ignoring the two glasses, he drank straight from the bottle.

It was probably here that the leprechaun received his poisoning, Dr. Marmalade Montague deduced.

Someone must have added Fire Salamander poison to the bottle of champagne.

Judging from the amount of Fire Salamander poison in the champagne, this combination would have killed a mortal human within a space of 2 to 3 hours.

In Yaldabaoth’s case, being a somewhat usually immortal lepechaun, the poison didn’t kick in until 24 hours later when he entered the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka’s hotel room at the Imperial Aurora and noticed her wearing a killer mini skirt outfit.

The sudden rush of adrenaline with the combination of the champagne and Fire Salamander poison caused the leprechaun to keel over.

On the other hand as that classy and classically inclined arch villain Raymond Red Reddington once put it on an episode of The Blacklist, “Look on the bright side. At least he died with an enormous erection and a smile on his face.”

Dr. Marmalade Montague pushed a button and his contraption started pouring 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s gin down the leprechaun’s throat.

Set Enterprises’ Dr. Marmalade Montague rushes away from his Thames River bridge proposition after receiving a phone call that Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun had keeled over again.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 22nd
2021.

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Kendra Rai Private Eye

February 20, 2021 at 11:54 pm (Detective story, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Kendra Rai Private Eye

Dashwood Forrest the owner and curator of The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London had had one of his paintings stolen from his gallery the past week.

The painting was a rare oil painting painted by Oscar Wilde.

Forrest was one of the few people in the world who knew that Wilde had painted some pictures and set out to find them through his various contacts.

This particular Wilde painting was of Alexander the Great having himself anointed and crowned Pharaoh of Egypt after having conquered Egypt in 332 BC.

On one of the pillars next to where Alexander was being crowned was an interesting set of hieroglyphs in the picture.

According to the story Forrest received, Wilde painted the picture of the hieroglyphs in conjunction with some research that writer Bram Stoker (the eventual author of Dracula and later The Jewel of Seven Stars) was doing.

Of course during the pandemic and Boris Johnson’s massive UK lockdown, The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery was not open to the public.

However Forrest had virtual exhibits of his paintings and art treasures on-line.

And appropriately socially distant private viewings could be arranged via emails with Forrest.

Last week he had shown the Oscar Wilde painting of Pharaoh Alexander the Great and the pillar of hieroglyphs on-line in a virtual exhibit.

The next night the painting was stolen.

On the advice of a friend, he hired London private investigator Kendra Rai to find it being told that she was the best private investigator in London.

London Private Investigator Kendra Rai the best private eye in London

Kendra Rai took the case immediately.

A case that would satisfy her intense intellectual curiosity and challenge her mind.

Kendra emailed a photo of the original Wilde painting of Pharaoh Alexander with the hieroglyphically inscribed pillar to an Egyptologist she knew at the British Museum wanting a translation of the hieroglyphs from him.

Kendra received an excited middle of the night phone call from the Egyptologist once he had translated them.

She was angry about being awakened in the middle of the night but once he told her the translation, she was no longer angry.

Kendra thanked the Egyptologist and put her phone down.

She now knew the reason why the painting was probably stolen.

And suspected who might be behind it.

Rogue MI-5 agents (although MI-5 was still unaware that these agents were rogue) Benedict Pence and Mike Arnold came mincing into their luxury apartment after a night on the town.

Of course they shouldn’t be on a night on the town during lockdown but both fancied that rules didn’t apply to them (God knew that certain rules laid down in Deuteronomy and Leviticus they didn’t follow).

On the wall of their apartment by the door they had a painting of Brutus and Cassius stabbing Julius Caesar to death.

On the opposite side of the room, they had a painting of Judas Iscariot getting paid his 30 pieces of silver from the Jerusalem Temple priests.

Both men as they entered noticed a bottle of champagne with two glasses in the middle of the room.

Thinking that the other had ordered it, both men took the glasses, poured themselves some champagne and had a toast.

They drank.

A light went on in a corner of the darkened room showing Kendra Rai Private Eye sitting there.

“Good evening, gentlemen,” Kendra Rai smiled at them, “I don’t bring you tidings of great joy like on a certain evening of March 13th 2013 when someone else wished the world a “Good evening”. Rather to let you know that your champagne has been poisoned. I have the antidote in my purse along with my gun. So don’t try anything rash. I will give you the antidote when you tell me where the painting you stole is. And don’t tell me what painting. I’ve had the hieroglyphs translated. I know it was probably you who took it.”

“You’re bluffing,” Pence gulped.

“Try me,” Kendra laughed, “I have nothing to lose. You do.”

“We sold it to a certain billionaire,” Arnold gulped, “We won’t mention the billionaire. He doesn’t have it yet. It’s being shipped out of the country tonight.”

“Do you know the location of where it’s being shipped from?” Kendra asked.

“We do,” Pence and Arnold both nodded at the same time.

“Come, gentlemen,” Kendra held up a vial and also pointed a gun at them, “We’re going for a ride. And you better hope we get there in time to stop that painting leaving the country.”

Kendra did get there in time.

The painting was retrieved.

An anxiously sweating Pence and Arnold were given the vial.

And Kendra Rai returned the painting to Dashwood Forrest telling him to lock the painting in his safe and to no longer display it in any exhibits virtual or otherwise.

When she told him what the hieroglyphs on the pillar in the painting said, Forrest knew the reason.

The hieroglyphs gave the formula for making a deadly plague to be released on the world capable of killing most of the planet’s population.

Kendra had an idea which global billionaire probably wanted it.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 20th
2021.

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