Renfield Catches A Los Angeles Newscast On Satellite TV

August 8, 2014 at 3:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Television, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Catches A Los Angeles Newscast On Satellite TV

Renfield R. Renfield was in the Bavarian city of Munich.

He was in Munich because he had heard that the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the Russian FSB was in the city to buy some antique Bavarian beer mugs to add to her boss Russian President Vladimir Putin’s collection .

Apparently the Russian leader liked to drink his Russian tea with lemon in it out of authentic Bavarian beer mugs (in contrast to a predecessor Russian President Boris Yeltsin who drank Russian vodka out of Russian tea cups while addressing the nation on national television).

Entire samovars were emptied just to fill one of the Russian leader’s large Bavarian beer mugs with tea.

The rest of the Russian cabinet meeting in the Kremlin meeting room had to wait for the samovar to be filled and the water brought to a boil again to have their cups filled with tea.

Renfield was going to abduct the Russian Vampiress while she was out hunting for Bavarian beer mugs.

Renfield happened to have satellite TV in his Munich hotel room.

He looked at his watch and noted the 10 PM Evening News was probably about to start in the Los Angeles California time zone.

Renfield liked watching the 10 PM Local Evening News from Los Angeles because they always had such totally different lead news stories from anywhere else on the planet.

Renfield turned on the TV.

The TV showed a street at night.

A small boy was riding a tricycle on the sidewalk.

Suddenly both boy and tricycle were caught in a flood of car head beams and flashing lights and the sound of police sirens could also be heard.

Commanding authoritative male voice (speaking through bullhorn megaphone) : Step away from the tricycle and place your hands in the air.

The boy-about 3 or 4 years of age- blinks quizzically in the direction of the head beam lights and says “Huh?”.

Suddenly a hail of bullets and gunfire breaks out and the boy’s white shirt turns blood red and the boy falls backwards off his tricycle and falls to the ground dead.

Voice of TV News Announcer: The police shooting video posted online that has sparked outrage among users of social media…

… coming up on KTLA Channel 5 News at 10…

( The KTLA Channel 5 News at 10 logo is then show on the TV screen)

Renfield (scratching his chin) : Hm. That’s interesting.

He shuts the TV off and heads out of the room to begin his assignment.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 8th
2014.

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Renfield In Southern California

May 26, 2014 at 6:49 pm (Entertainment, Music, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield In Southern California

“A young woman’s buttocks are still stinging after a drive-by spanking that occurred at a street corner in West Hollywood last night…”

Renfield turned off the alarm clock radio in his hotel room.

Yes, he was definitely in Southern California all right.

Southern California would be the only place on Earth where such a news story would happen.

. . .

Renfield contacted an entertainment reporter he knew at KTLA Channel 5 News in Los Angeles for the scoop on Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers.

He had deduced from stories on the Internet that this band knew the whereabouts of the ET gray who crashed his UFO in the desert near Mesa, Arizona.

He learned they were playing at The Tropicana Nightclub in downtown Los Angeles.

Renfield would attend their concert tonight.

. . .

Renfield R. Renfield passed a shoe shine stand as he walked along the street.

That was interesting, Renfield thought to himself.

He had often seen shoe shine stands in old classic American movies from the ’30s, ’40s, ’50s and ’60s.

He didn’t know they still existed.

Renfield continued walking in what he presumed was the direction of The Tropicana Nightclub.

He happened to pass a Chinese restaurant where he noticed that embattled Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling was sitting and complaining in a loud voice, “Why are there so many Asians in this place?”.

This gave Renfield an idea.

He still had an hour to kill before the Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers concert at The Tropicana.

He returned to the shoe shine stand where he bought some black shoe polish from the shoe shine boy.

He then borrowed a compact mirror from a woman wearing a sexy Halloween nurse’s outfit who said her name was Akira and she was trying to find her way to West Hollywood.

Renfield replied in his British accent that he was a stranger in Los Angeles and had no idea where West Hollywood was located.

As Akira held the compact mirror for him, Renfield applied the black shoe polish to his face, neck, arms and hands.

He borrowed some rouge lipstick from her and made his lips much bigger.

He soon looked like a blackface Al Jolson about to perform in one of those minstrel shows from the 1920s.

He thanked Akira for the use of the red lipstick and the compact mirror and continued walking down the street.

He then went into the Chinese restaurant where Donald Sterling was sitting.

Upon entering the restaurant and helping himself to both a top hat and walking stick from the coat check, Renfield immediately burst into a rendition of that old Al Jolson song Mammy.

He sang (mixing up the lyrics of the two old Al Jolson songs Mammy and Swanee), “Mammy, how I love ya. How I love ya.”

He then went up to Donald Sterling and gave him a kiss on the lips.

As Renfield left the restaurant and continued down the street, he could hear the restaurant’s doorman shouting up and down the street, “Paging an ambulance for Mr. Sterling. Ambulance for Mr. Sterling.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 24th
2014.

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