Scottish Laddies: A Poem

January 12, 2015 at 8:34 pm (Humour, Literature, Poetry) (, , , , )

Scottish Laddies: A Poem

There were some Scottish laddies
some might think they were baddies
they drank together
and stank together
and bathed together in highland stream
underneath a bright moon beam
they played golf in the heather
whatever the weather
and ate their porridge
and fought King George
they drank many a whiskey
and chased lassies frisky
then one day one of them announced he’d wed
an aghast buddy said, “What? And join the ranks of the living dead?”
But the man insisted he’d fallen in love
he swore by the heavens above
and so the man did indeed wed
but one of his buddies said,
“I’ll bet you a dozen gold coins
that what’s between your loins
will not be able to perform on your wedding night
and your bride will die bored rather than from fright.”
The man accepted the bet
just as the sun set
and the voyeur in the group
while eating Scots broth soup
said, “I can see where this is leading
so I’ll watch the proceeding
and being a neutral party
I swear by Wallace’s brave hearty
that I’ll truthfully tell what unfolds
whether his performance outshines the marigolds
and I’ll play my favourite musical instrument if he performs the deed
and if he performs not, not a single note will be heard- blank like his seed.”
So it was agreed.
Then came the wedding night
and in the moonlight
the groom’s friend who made the bet
stood on a hill after sunset
and hoped for the sweet sounds of silence by the dawn’s early light
when would end the groom’s wedding night
and at day break the groom’s friend waited for a sound
and then as cock crew, he hit the ground
and though his promise must be kept
the thrifty Scotsman still wept,
“A drum, a drum,
MacBeth doth come.”

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday January 12th 2015.

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