Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka At Imperial Aurora Hotel

February 21, 2021 at 11:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka at the Imperial Aurora Hotel In London

The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka arrived at the new Imperial Aurora Hotel in London where she’d be staying the next few days.

She’d be doing some work on behalf of the Occult and Paranormal Research Section of Interpol which was headed by Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

Of course Whitstable was the only agent in the Occult and Paranormal Research Section of Interpol.

He didn’t even have a Dana Scully like partner to help him out.

Instead he relied on freelance operative consultants like the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka, Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and a few others to help him out on occasion.

The Imperial Aurora Hotel in London had only opened a week ago.

As the Swiss billionaire Lester Mittendorf (the builder and owner of the hotel) moaned at its grand opening a week ago (where he cut a ribbon at which he and a few hotel staff members were the only ones present), “It looks like I picked the wrong time to open up a new fancy luxury hotel in London. Right at the start of the 2nd year of the pandemic.”

Plans for the new hotel had started back in 2017.

Of course no one had foreseen this pandemic coming with the exception of Bill Gates who had lit candles in front of a statue of Apophis the Egyptian god of destruction for the past decade and a half praying for a plague that would wipe out most of the world’s population since his demon possessed teddy bear told him that there were far too many people living on the planet.

Even though no one in Mittendorf’s property management circle could have possibly predicted a pandemic, Lester Mittendorf still demoted (although he could have easily fired) his Vice-President of Innovation and New Ideas Mr. Cordon Bleu Stuffingham for having coming up with the boneheaded idea of opening a new luxury hotel in London in February 2021.

Stuffingham was now working as a bell boy in the Imperial Aurora Hotel.

The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka walked by Stuffingham who was asleep at his bell boy’s desk and walked in the direction of the hotel’s reception clerk.

The hotel itself was a combination of classical Greco-Roman style decor and early 20th Century Art Nouveau.

At the desk as she registered, the receptionist was listening to BBC Radio.

Once again British MP Renfield R. Renfield was filling in for yet another announcer who had been gunned down in the internecine civil war going on in the BBC Newsroom between Neo-Stalinist Neo-Bolshevik Communists and Neo-Trotskyite Neo-Bolshevik Communists.

Once again yet another announcer’s death was listed as being caused by Covid-19 (rather than a gunshot wound) by the NHS in accordance with WHO guidelines on the subject.

Renfield’s voice could be heard saying, “And in other news… a massive crowd of two people greeted 81 million vote recipient Vice-President Kamala Harris on her return to her home in California…”

Tanaka signed the register and went up to her room.

Tanaka had been asked by Whitstable to investigate rumours of alleged meetings going on between British Prime Minister Boris Johnson and a group of zombie nosferatu that were taking place in the new hotel’s ballroom.

Aiding her in the investigation would be Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.

The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka had only been in her room a few minutes when she heard a knock at her door.

She opened it and standing there was Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.

“Wow,” Yaldabaoth said, “That’s yet another killer outfit you’re wearing.”

He then dropped dead like he did on the first occasion when he met the Lakota Sioux Princess and she had been wearing an equally killer outfit.

The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka: Yet another killer outfit

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 21st
2021.

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Flashback To The End of The World- Dec. 21st 2012

September 9, 2014 at 4:04 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Flashback To The End of The World- Dec. 21st 2012

The vampire novel chapter I wrote back on December 21st 2012 when something of cosmic significance was supposed to happen on Earth on that date according to Mayan, Aztec and Hopi Indian prophecies.

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2012/12/dec-21st-2012-tempest-or-much-ado-about.html?m=1

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Renfield In Davos

January 22, 2014 at 7:17 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield In Davos

Renfield R. Renfield was in Davos Switzerland getting ready for the World Economic Forum.

He was disturbed by reports that his boss Set’s estranged and separated wife the Vampiress Martini was seen all over Davos with Swiss billionaire Lester Mittendorf.

Mittendorf himself had not been seen for 30 years.

Then a few weeks ago, Mittendorf suddenly appeared in public again- in the arms of the Vampiress Martini.

Martini and Mittendorf were seen partying in Geneva.

Mittendorf and Martini were seen partying in Zurich.

Martini and Mittendorf were seen eating basil leafs in Basel.

Mittendorf and Martini were seen yodeling on the Matterhorn.

Martini and Mittendorf were seen live on CNN being rescued by helicopter to escape an avalanche on the Matterhorn said to have been caused by the sound of lousy yodeling.

Renfield wondered whether these two might be secretly planning something against his boss.

Then to top it off, there were reports that agents of his boss’ arch-enemy the Paris based Vampiress Isis were seen attending the Geneva II Peace Conference Talks on Syria that today were held in the Swiss city of Montreux.

Then agents of the Vampiress Isis were also seen in anti-government protests in the streets of the Ukrainian capital of Kiev.

Finally agents of Isis were seen in anti-government protests on the streets of Bangkok Thailand.

Renfield wondered what in the world was going on…

…especially as he viewed the unbelievable and incomprehensible positions he was now seeing on the Internet porn site he was at…

He looked over at his friend and fellow employee Amadeus Emanon to see how he was coping with the world situation.

Amadeus was contentedly munching on Swiss chocolates and humming, “The hills are alive with the sound of music…”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 22nd
2014.

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Isis On Eiffel Tower and Dennis Rodman Sings Happy Birthday To Kim Jong-un

January 8, 2014 at 8:05 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Isis On Eiffel Tower and Dennis Rodman Sings Happy Birthday To Kim Jong-un

The Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis was standing on top of the Eiffel Tower wearing her trademark red evening dress and black spiked stiletto high- heeled shoes.

She was standing on top of the Eiffel Tower hoping to get better reception for her BlackBerry Smart Phone as lousy weather seemed to be affecting the city’s wi-fi transmission system.

She happened to spot an Instagram photo of Russian billionaire Mikhail Khodorkovsky exiting a Swiss chalet looking ashen white after what the poster of the photo described as “an unexpected surprise meeting with the Romanov billions heiress the Vampiress Martini and elusive Swiss billionaire Lester Mittendorf”.

“Hm, Khodorkovsky, eh?” The Vampiress Isis mused aloud, “He could be a potential ally for me in my fight against Putin.”

The Vampiress Isis had been pissed at Putin ever since a Russian nuclear submarine fired a laser death ray at her husband Osiris’ returning spaceship disintegrating both spaceship and her husband.

. . .

Dennis Rodman was going to sing Happy Birthday to the man he described as his “best friend” the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un.

Mr. Rodman was wearing a sequined gold evening dress and a Marilyn Monroe style platinum blonde wig.

He approached the microphone and then sang in a sultry, sexy Marilyn Monroe style voice,

“Happy Birthday, Mr. President,
Happy Birthday to you…”

The wife of Kim Jong-un looked at her husband as he watched this performance and asked him, “Is that a chopstick in your trousers or do you just appreciate his singing?”.

. . .

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 8th
2014.

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A Birthday In North Korea and A Night In Switzerland

January 7, 2014 at 8:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

A Birthday In North Korea and A Night In Switzerland

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un was hoping to get some nookie on his birthday from the Welsh vampiress Morgana a rising pop star in the west who often shot music videos in North Korea because she didn’t have to pay her extras there.

Kim already had his uncle executed last month for daring to make sexual advances on Morgana although the story manufactured for the Western press was that he was guilty of treason against the state (although for Kim Jong-un like England’s King Henry VIII many centuries before him, to dally or to try to dally with the object of the tyrant’s sexual desires was treason against the state).

“Please, please, Morgana,” Kim begged, “after all it’s my birthday.”

“Beat it creep,” Morgana slapped his face, turned into a bat and flew away.

Retired basketball star Dennis Rodman had walked into Kim’s bedroom at that moment and saw what happened.

“She won’t give me any nookie for my birthday,” Kim bawled.

Rodman said, “Wow, bummer.”

“No thanks,” Kim replied.

. . .

The Invisible Man elusive Swiss billionaire Lester Mittendorf had finally managed to track down where exactly the Vampiress Martini was living in Switzerland.

Mittendorf had become invisible back in the early 1980s when he had drunk an invisibility potion made for him by a promising young sanity challenged scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

Dr. Rocher had neglected to tell the Swiss billionaire that he hadn’t yet developed an antidote for it.

And so Lester Mittendorf had remained invisible ever since.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher went on to become the Chief Scientist at Set Enterprises Laboratories the scientific research and development firm owned by the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

As for Mittendorf, he thought he had finally stumbled upon the answer to his invisibility problem last year.

In an ancient alchemical text he came across, it was written that if one had drunk an invisibility potion and had become invisible and couldn’t get back to becoming visible again, to get bit on the neck by a vampiress would make one visible again.

Mittendorf had heard that the Vampiress Martini the heiress to the Romanov billions (she had been married back in 1931 to George Count Brasov a nephew of Czar Nicholas II and the heir to the Russian Imperial Throne) was alive and undead and well and living in Switzerland.

Ironically the Vampiress Martini had been briefly married to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (the current employer of sanity challenged scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher).

Set and Martini had separated due to irreconcilable differences (translation: Viagara didn’t work so well for vampires).

Mittendorf had traced Martini down to this particular Swiss chalet.

At first, Martini was somewhat surprised to encounter an invisible man.

She had never seen one before (although she still hadn’t seen one).

She agreed to bite Mittendorf on the neck.

They went up to her bed room to make out.

After all, why settle for a bite on the neck when you can have the whole package?

. . .

Russian billionaire Mikhail Khodorkovsky knocked on the door of the Vampiress Martini’s Swiss chalet.

The ex-oil tycoon had been released from jail in Russia last month when he got a Presidential pardon from Russian President Vladimir Putin who was anxious to build up good PR for himself ahead of next month’s Sochi Winter Olympics.

Khodorkovsky was now living in Switzerland for the next 3 months. His two sons already attended school there.

He had heard about the vampiress Martini and checked Google Maps to find out where in Switzerland she was living (something Mittendorf hadn’t done which is what took him so long to locate her).

No answer on the door.

Khodorkovsky opened it.

He heard a strange noise coming from upstairs.

He decided to investigate.

He walked up the stairs of the chalet and then down the hall to the bedroom.

He opened the door and there on the blanketless bed was the Vampiress Martini making out with elusive Swiss billionaire Lester Mittendorf who was only half-way to becoming visible again.

“Oh my God,” Khodorkovsky gasped.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 7th
2014.

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