Nimrod On The Night of The Hunter’s Moon

October 13, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Nimrod On The Night of The Hunter’s Moon

Sunday October 13th 2019.

Evening.

The night of the hunter’s moon.

A full moon.

The first full moon that follows the harvest moon.

The hunter’s moon.

And on this night of the hunter’s moon, Nimrod (described in the biblical Book of Genesis as a mighty hunter against The Lord) stood on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica.

He, of course, was no longer a man.

After having been hit over the head by his wife Semiramis back in the days of Babel which should have killed him, the dying Nimrod was abducted by a group of ET grays.

They took him to his planet where they healed him.

Nimrod was grateful for otherwise he’d have probably wound up in the flames of Tartarus in the Underworld if he had died.

He hung around with the ET grays until their spacecraft crashed near Tuktoyaktuk Northwest Territories in Canada back in December 2014.

The crash killed both the grays and him.

Fortunately for Nimrod just before his spirit was to be thrown into Tartarus, he was brought back from the dead after the vampiress Lilith gave him a magic kiss after kissing him on the lips as his body lay in a DARPA secret research lab not far from Washington DC.

The magic kiss did have one serious side effect however.

It turned him into a little green frog.

And now the little frog that was Nimrod was quietly ribbiting on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica.

He was here because of a tarot card reading given him by the gypsy fortune teller Dulcinea Lucia when he was in London recently.

Dulcinea had told him that if he sat on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica during the next hunter’s moon, a magic bow and arrow would come down from the moon and he would once again be a mighty hunter.

So here was Nimrod waiting for the bow and arrow.

Several pieces of green cheese fell from the moon and fell nearby him which he ate.

Finally a bow and arrow fell right on top of his head.

“Owww!” Nimrod ribbited.

The centaur Sagittarius appeared to Nimrod and told the frog that the Vatican was about to be attacked by a pack of Transylvanian werewolves.

Nimrod could re-invigorate his hunting skills by hunting the werewolves.

Nimrod asked, “Why should I do that?”.

Sagittarius replied, “Because the Vatican has been under the control of Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal and the Vampiric Knights-Templar since October 13th 2017. And remember Allatallahbel is an ally of Lilith who brought you back from the dead. So to help Allatallahbel keep the Vatican is a good thing. Those werewolves were hired by Russian President Vladimir Putin to take the Vatican for Russia.”

Nimrod didn’t understand modern geopolitics but took the centaur’s advice.

He checked his supply of arrows and was relieved to see they all had silver tips.

Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to kill a single werewolf never mind a whole pack of them.

When the werewolves attacked at the height of the hunter’s moon, Nimrod fired his arrows.

There were 99 werewolves in all.

As Nimrod fired, he sang,

“99 werewolves of fear on the wall,
99 werewolves of fear,
shoot one down, 
watch it hit the ground,
98 werewolves of fear on the wall…”

And so on and so forth until there were none left.

Allatallahbel: Pleased by Nimrod’s defence of her captive Vatican from an attack by an invading pack of Transylvanian werewolves

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 13th
2019.

Advertisements

Permalink 2 Comments

The Controller of The Golem In Prague

August 19, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The Controller of The Golem In Prague

The Mossad agent code named the Controller of The Golem stood on the Charles Bridge in Prague the capital of the Czech Republic.

The Charles Bridge had been built back in 1357 by Charles IV the King of Bohemia and the Holy Roman Emperor.

The Controller was to meet in a rendezvous with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

Back on February 19th of this year, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith while wearing a Karl Lagerfeld evening gown had, with the help of a hypnotized Count Dracula, stolen the inanimate body of the Golem of Prague from the invisible corner of the attic of Prague’s Old New Synagogue.

The inanimate body of the Golem of Prague was being held for ransom on the vampiress Lilith’s heavily guarded country estate outside Astana Kazakhstan.

Earlier today however Lilith had sent an encrypted coded message to the Controller of the Golem saying that she would return the Golem’s inanimate body to him tonight on the Charles Bridge in Prague with no questions asked.

The Controller naturally expected a trap which was why he was wearing a bullet proof vest as he walked across the bridge.

It was then that the Controller recognized a large centaur walking at an easy pace across the bridge.

The Controller of the Golem recognized the centaur as Acheronus a centaur who came from Acheron the River of Woe in the Underworld of Hades.

An eccentric Interpol friend of the Controller- Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol- had sent the Mossad agent a picture of the equine-homo sapien hybrid beast from Hades earlier this year.

The Controller did not pay much attention to the Centaur as Acheronus was mainly known for shooting and killing climate change deniers, people who pollute the environment and U.S. country club Republicans with his poisonous bows and arrows.

Imagine the Controller’s surprise therefore when a poisoned arrow came right through his bullet proof vest (which wasn’t arrow proof).

The Controller of the Golem collapsed at the foot of the Crucifix on the Charles Bridge in Prague.

. . .

The Mossad agent code named Star of Azazel received a text message from Hephaestus the blacksmith of the Greek gods.

Hephaestus who was currently working on a pair of horse shoes for Acheronus the Centaur informed Star of Azazel that the centaur assassin’s mission seemed to be a success.

Star of Azazel (who knew the codes for supposedly encrypted messages from the vampiress Lilith to Mossad) smiled.

His fellow agent the Controller of the Golem could have been a major pain in the ass in this matter of the mysterious death of Jeffrey Epstein.

. . .

The Controller of The Golem raised his head above the pavement and looked up at the figure of Christ on the Crucifix.

The Controller found it ironic that Acheronus would shoot at him so that he would fall at this particular spot.

“Maybe you really are The Lord after all, Yeshua,” the Controller said thinking about his grandmother.

His grandmother had converted to Christianity before she died and so was considered the black sheep of the family.

Just before he left his Prague hotel room for his supposed meeting with Lilith on the Charles Bridge, a pterodactyl drone (invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher) had tapped his robotic reptilian beak and robotic reptilian claws on his hotel room window.

When he opened the window, the pterodactyl drone presented him with a handwritten note from his friend Dr. Cadbury Rocher as well as a package containing a vest.

The note from Dr. Rocher read, “Please wear this poisoned arrow proof vest under your bullet proof vest for your meeting on the Charles Bridge tonight. Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster recommends it as he just received a vision of treachery and skulduggery.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 19th
2019.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Lilith In London

August 4, 2019 at 10:25 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Lilith In London

The Babylonian vampiress Lilith was in London in an old abandoned factory.

She was watching the ghost of Orson Welles direct a short film showing the retirement party of a modern major-general.

As the ghost of the 18th Century Irish pirate captain of the Caribbean Captain Kerry Donegal stood by, the retiring major-general sang from The Pirates of Penzance, “I am the very model of the modern major-general…”

Although the major-general wore a typical major-general’s handlebar style moustache, he also wore a Versace dress evening gown.

For being the very model of the modern major-general, he/she was naturally transgendered.

When he had finished singing “I am the very model of the modern major-general”, some of his soldiers went and sang an old musical routine from Monty Python’s Flying Circus,

“Who says I’m a puff? I’ve got your number but you couldn’t afford me dear. Ooooooooohhhhhh!”.

Orson Welles looked at his ghostly antique timepiece watch and said, “Okay, that’s a wrap.”

Cast and crew broke for the day.

Among the spectators at the film shoot was Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

Just the man that Lilith wanted to see.

“Van Helsing!” She called out from where she sat.

The vampire hunter turned around.

Lilith immediately ran towards him, threw him to the ground and mounted him.

“I’m looking for a tantric sex partner,” she whispered as she ripped his clothes off.

Orson Welles turned around, “Well, Dracul, are you ready to head back to Set’s mansion?”.

He then noticed what Dracul and Lilith were doing.

“I guess not,” Welles’ ghost shook his head.

He headed to a nearby pub and ordered a spectral glass of red wine.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 4th
2019.

Permalink 10 Comments

Sherrielock Holmes: Adventure of The Derailed Train

July 11, 2019 at 10:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Sherrielock Holmes: Adventure of The Derailed Train

Sherrielock Holmes (the quite literally immortal lesser known twin sister of consulting detective Sherlock Holmes) who was Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises had taken the train from London to Edinburgh.

But the train had derailed a few miles back.

No one was hurt but Sherrielock decided to walk to the nearest town and rent a car.

She had been hoping to be in Edinburgh by dinner time.

She might still make it if there was a Rent A Car place in the nearest town.

She decided to take the train because she didn’t feel like driving by car.

But as luck would have it, her train was derailed.

She suspected deliberate sabotage.

Last night she had got a text message from Harvey Tallbanger who was Set Enterprises’ top spy and secret agent.

Tallbanger had run into the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis in a restaurant atop the Eiffel Tower last night.

He suspected that Isis had something up her sleeve and was intending to make drastic moves against the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and his company Set Enterprises.

Sherrielock herself had been headed to an AI symposium in Edinburgh.

She decided last night to take the train after watching the 1946 movie Terror By Night (in which Basil Rathbone had played her brother in a film set in the 1940s which was actually a decade after her brother had died) in which Holmes and Watson ride the train from London to Edinburgh.

The title of the movie Terror By Night was taken from Psalm 91 verse 5 of the King James Version and was actually a reference to Lilith the ancient Babylonian vampiress, Sherrielock had been told by Church of England exorcist Rev. Fr. Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds.

Although Lilith herself never appeared in the film.

These days Lilith was involved in a campaign against the State of Israel (the vampiress was still livid over the fact that her good name had been libelled in the Babylonian Talmud).

And speaking of Israel,¬†Sherrielock had received intelligence that Mossad’s most pre-eminent blackmailer of pedophiles in the U.S. political establishment had himself been re-arrested for pedophilia.

No doubt Mossad was anxious to get him out of jail and back on the streets again to continue to get Democratic and Republican politicians (a lot of whom seemed to have sexual perversions) back in the pockets of the Israeli lobby.

The Mossad agent, supposedly a billionaire hedge funds manager, even though nobody in the U.S. media seemed to know the name of the company he supposedly managed hedge funds for, was now in trouble with New York prosecutors whereas a dozen years ago he had been in trouble with Florida prosecutors.

“Love’s labour lost,” Sherrielock thought of that Florida prosecutor and his current position in the Trump Administration as she walked down the track.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 11th
2019.

Permalink 10 Comments

The Mysterious Bavarian Crossbow Murders

May 13, 2019 at 10:16 pm (Aesthetics, Avatar Speaks, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was investigating some mysterious murders committed with a crossbow in Bavaria.

The strange deaths happened in a rural hotel near the Bavarian town of Passau.

Two women and a man were found in bed impaled with several arrows.

Whitstable had been brought in to investigate on the off chance that the crossbow killer was the Celtic horned stag god Cernunnos in which case such a paranormal killer would fall under Whitstable’s jurisdiction.

Whitstable had just read a text message on his smart phone that satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had just beheaded the ugly female manager of the store where the homicidally uglocidally incined half-man half-goat did his grocery shopping.

“I can’t believe,” Whitstable shook his head, “that the owners of the store would be so stupid as to hire an ugly looking woman as a manager at the place where Goatee does his grocery shopping.”

Oh well, Whitstable reflected, Calgary cowboys were famous for the fancy spurs on their cowboy boots and their bull legged way of walking not for their brains.

Getting back to the case at hand, Whitstable was not positive that Cernunnos was responsible for the crossbow murders at the hotel in Bavaria.

Cernunnos first appeared on the Interpol radar as a crossbow killer a couple of years ago when he shot and killed a group of wealthy hunters in the United Kingdom who were on an illegal deer hunt.

Then on a freelance mission for British MP Renfield R. Renfield last year, Cernunnos had used his crossbow to fire a poisoned arrow into the testicles of Russian President Vladimir Putin.

If the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith hadn’t been on the scene to immediately suck the poison out, the Russian leader would have died.

Afterwards Lilith took her blue evening dress to a steam dry laundry cleaner in Moscow which boasted of its superiority to steam dry laundry cleaners in Washington DC.

So far, other than the fact that the murders were done by crossbow, there was little to connect Cernunnos to this particular crime.

. . .

In the corridors of the Vatican, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was discussing an Israeli government document with another Cardinal.

“Does Netanyahu really intend to go ahead with this?” Salaman asked the other Cardinal.

“Netanyahu thinks he can count on the unqualified support of Donald Trump,” the other Cardinal answered.

Just then, a being who was part man and part deer having a large set of stag horns and antlers on his head and wearing a mask over his eyes came walking down the halls of the Vatican carrying a crossbow and arrow.

The crossbow carrying being with stag horns fired an arrow at the Cardinal standing next to Samhain Cardinal Salaman.

“Oh, I am slain,” the Cardinal said as he keeled over.

“You certainly are,” Cardinal Salaman remarked as the man died in his arms.

The crossbow carrying deer/man ran off as distant pan pipes played the melody Tomorrow Belongs To Me from the musical Cabaret.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 13th
2019.

Permalink 18 Comments

Asmodeus In London

April 22, 2019 at 10:30 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The heavy cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus was in London, England having lunch with his compatriots the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith and her little green frog companion Nimrod (who was the Nimrod of Book of Genesis fame reduced to an amphibian).

“Has there been a revival of Eostre worship in this day and age?” Asmodeus asked Lilith.

Eostre was the name of an Anglo-Saxon goddess worshipped by Anglo-Saxons in England.

The early medieval English Church historian Bede had mentioned in his 8th Century manuscript The Reckoning of Time that during the month of Eosturmonabp (the Anglo-Saxon equivalent of the Roman month of April), the pagan Anglo-Saxons had held feasts in Eostre’s honour but during Bede’s time, this had been replaced by the Christian Paschal month a celebration of the resurrection of Jesus.

Tales associated with the Anglo-Saxon goddess Eostre included bunny rabbits laying eggs.

As The Guardian Newspaper writer and former Catholic Herald editor Peter Stanford ate a chocolate covered Baphomet at a table sitting across from them, Nimrod noticed on the television in the restaurant a news story about a woman telling Pope Francis that she had seven children.

Pope Francis admonished the woman that one shouldn’t go around breeding like rabbits.

At that point, a giant bunny rabbit hopped by in Saint Peter’s Square and laid a rainbow coloured egg on top of the Pope’s head.

Peter Stanford started choking on his chocolate covered Baphomet.

“I hadn’t heard there was a revival in Eostre worship?” Lilith looked perplexed, “Why do you ask?”.

“Well, there were headlines on both ABC News and The Washington Post that Tourists, Easter worshippers lament closing of Notre Dame. Then after the attack on churches and western tourist hotels in Sri Lanka that killed at least 290 people and injured 500 others, Barack Obama tweeted, The attack on tourists and Easter worshippers in Sri Lanka are an attack on humanity. And Hillary Clinton tweeted, I’m praying for everyone affected by today’s horrific attack on Easter worshippers and travellers in Sri Lanka. And Fox News talked about the attack on Easter worshippers in Sri Lanka that left so many dead. I was wondering with all these references to Easter worshippers if the worship of Eostre had been revived.”

“Well, you as a demon can’t mention aloud the Name of Jesus Christ can you?” Lilith smiled.

Asmodeus struggled to say the name but eventually gave up.

“Well, just like you as a demon can’t say the name of Jesus Christ, the Vatican’s chief exorcist for so many years Father Gabriel Amorth (who definitely had a 24/7 full time job performing exorcisms at the Vatican) noted that mortals who are under demonic influences likewise have trouble saying the name Jesus Christ. So since the term Christian has Christ in it, no doubt ABC News, The Washington Post, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Fox News can’t bring themselves to say that Christians were killed in the bombings so they use the term Easter worshippers instead.”

Peter Stanford who seemed to be having a wrestling match with his chocolate covered Baphomet quickly left the restaurant.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 22nd
2019.

Permalink 10 Comments

Allatallahbel On A Desert Highway, Golgotha and DNA Altering Swedish Meatballs

March 14, 2019 at 10:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Mythology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


The Vampiress Allatallahbel on a desert highway in Nevada

It had recently come to the attention of Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal that London private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley were investigating the mysterious death of Argentine adult film star Natacha Jaitt.

German Cardinal Walter Kasper had told her this investigation might prove hazardous to the pontificate of Pope Francis.

And Jorge Mario Bergoglio had proved to be a very accomodating useful idiot to her Vampiric Knights-Templar and their Freemasonic allies.

Allatallahbel decided she better do something to end the investigation.

She had discovered their investigation had taken them to an Argentine run casino in Las Vegas Nevada.

Now it was taking them to a little known polar bear fur trading post in the Nevada desert which was proving to be a huge Donald Trump approved tax write-off for the Argentine run casino.

Allatallahbel put on her best desert highway hitchhiking attire on the road Agathor and Magog would be driving towards the money losing polar bear fur trading post:

Both men (who were not wearing seat belts) went flying through the windshields of their Budget Rent-A-Car Volkswagen when Magog hit the brakes upon seeing her.

. . .

DARPA contract assasin and satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had felt a craving for a Meatball Marinara sub sandwich at the Subway store in a nearby mall.

He had gone there and discovered to his horror that a ugly looking woman was already in line at the counter in front of him.

Goatee whose serial killing specialty was killing ugly looking women promptly beheaded the uglo with his astral laser machete.

He had lost his appetite upon seeing the ugly looking creature and decided to walk to a nearby discount supermarket to buy some bottles of generic brand Diet Cola.

He of course got in line behind a beautiful looking woman.

But then an ugly looking woman who was stupid as well as ugly that was in front of the beautiful looking woman had discovered that she had brought the wrong brands of pizza- the ones not on sale- and tried getting in Pan Goatee’s way to go get the properly discounted ones.

Goatee promptly beheaded the ugly looking airhead.

“To raise the collective IQ of the world and improve the Earth’s aesthetic beauty all in one stroke,” Goatee remarked as he put the astral laser machete back in his Clint Eastwood autographed Two Mules For Sister Sarah spaghetti western holster.

. . .


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith inside one of the catacombs in Rome

Lilith was in one of the catacombs beneath the Vatican.

Near one of the tombs of the ancient Nephilim giants that the Vatican had kept hidden from the world for centuries.

On the grave of a rare Nephilim dwarf, Imhotep the Rome-based Egyptian souvenir vendor and former High Priest-Scientist of Ra was working overtime to save the Undead life of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau vampire Franz Kohler.

He had found Kohler’s body after the latter had been shot with silver bullets fired at him by Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing at the Latin numeral Clock of Thoth in London a couple of nights ago.

Imhotep had used a papal dirigible The Sindenburg to fly the body from London to Rome.

He had extracted the silver bullets from Kohler’s body while on the Sindenburg and then used a brew of extracts of three tana leaves (as recommended by the Universal Pictures Mummy horror movies of the early 1940s) to keep the SS vampire alive.

Now he was about to use a brew of extracts of nine tana leaves (also recommended by the Universal Pictures Mummy horror movies of the early 1940s) to restore full movement, life and consciousness back to the SS vampire.

Lilith smiled as she saw Kohler’s eyes open and then ask, “Does anybody know where I can buy some good Bavarian beer sausage?”.

. . .

The Irish leprechaun Yaldabaoth was having a lunch of Guinness stout and pork pies with the Himalayan golden cobra serpent Maitreya who had crowned himself High King of Ireland a couple of years ago.

“Do you know what they’re now claiming in Pakistan?” Yaldabaoth asked Maitreya.

“No, what?” Maitreya asked as he used a New Age crystal healing stone (highly recommended by Tom Brady’s witch wife Gisele Bundchen) to try to re-heat his pork pie.

“That the recent Indian air strikes on Pakistan were part of a combined Hindu-Zionist plot to destroy Pakistan,” Yaldabaoth downed a full 72 ounce glass of Guinness, “and that Israeli Air Force pilots even participated in the air strikes on Pakistan.”

“How stupid can people get,” Maitreya remarked as using the New Age healing stone to re-heat his pork pie seemed to be going nowhere.

“I hope this won’t affect me any,” Yaldabaoth gorged down a whopping piece of pork pie, “my mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom told the Neo-Platonist schools of Alexandria that I Yaldabaoth am the same entity as Yahweh the god of the Hebrews. She came up with this idea after going on a hallucinogenic trip when she drank some fermented juice that was given her by the Hindu moon god Soma. This idea has since passed into Gnosticism where many Gnostic groups are convinced that I’m a bumbling demi-urge who stupidly created the material universe- the same charge that’s leveled against Yahweh.”

“I think with your love of pork pies,” Maitreya threw away the New Age healing stone in disgust, “no one would mistake you for the god of the Hebrews.”

. . .


Golgotha dressed as a Viking warrior princess ready to steal some DNA altering Swedish meat balls from a combined lab and kitchen in Stockholm.

The vampiress Golgotha had been sent to Stockholm Sweden by her mother the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

It had come to the attention of Lilith’s vast intelligence network that the Norse goddess Freya working in concert with the famous Swedish-Italian cook Chef Bjorg Jar (pronounced Yar) Dee had invented some DNA altering Swedish meatballs which, when consumed, gave people super human strength.

Lilith desired these DNA altering Swedish meatballs for the vast army of warriors she was building in Central Asia.

And now Golgotha dressed as a Viking warrior princess would be battling the intelligence agencies of the world in the kitchens of Stockholm to get the secret recipe for these DNA altering Swedish meatballs.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 14th
2019.

Permalink 17 Comments

Vampiress Lilith Discusses 5G and AI With The Demon Asmodeus At Astana Kazakhstan

March 7, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith on her estate near the Kazakhstan capital of Astana

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was standing in the middle of a forest path near her estate waiting for her ally the demon Asmodeus to show up.

Asmodeus showed up with 10 cigarettes in his mouth, a can of Budweiser beer in his left hand and a copy of The Times of London in his right hand.

“Read anything interesting in The Times of London?” Lilith asked as she picked a serpent off an apple tree.

“Well,” Asmodeus sipped Budweiser and belched, “I see British MP Renfield R. Renfield wrote an article examining Huawei and U.S.-China and Canadian-Chinese relations.”

Lilith bit the serpent’s neck with her vampiric incisors and then proceeded to eat it whole.

“Renfield notes that the Chinese government just cancelled over a billion dollars worth of canola exports from the western Canadian province of Manitoba,” Asmodeus read from the Times editorial page as he spilled beer and cigarette ash all over himself, “Renfield says this is all in retaliation for the Canadian government’s arrest and detention of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou.”

“Of course it is,” Lilith removed some dental floss attached to her thong and used it to floss snake skin from between her teeth and gums.

The little green frog Nimrod (the resurrected king of Babel and mighty hunter against the Lord who found himself turned into a frog as a result of an unfortunate incident some years back) walked into a tree and knocked himself out when he saw Lilith reach all the way down the low-cut top front of her dress to her thong to get the dental floss.

“What Justin Trudeau and the Canadian government fail to realize is that the conflict between the U.S. and China over Huawei is over what country will be the first to implement the Mark of the Beast system that the Apostle John foresaw on the island of Patmos and mentioned in Chapter 13 of The Apocalypse or Book of Revelation,” Lilith smoothed the front of her dress, “The 5G network is the Internet of Things network that will be used to implement the Mark of The Beast system. Just like developments in AI will bring to fruition the Image of The Beast so 5G will bring the Mark of the Beast to fruition.”

“I never read the Book of Revelation,” Asmodeus coughed a heavy smokers’ cough, “of course I had been bound and imprisoned in Upper Egypt by the Archangel Raphael for the longest period of time.”

“That bastard Raphael,” Lilith’s face turned as fiery as the recent electrical storms over the state of California, “bound and imprisoned my son Azazel (that I had after relations with the fallen angel and Watcher Semjaza) in the desert at Dudael which is east of Jerusalem.”

“China I believe is about 20 years ahead of developing 5G than the U.S. is, isn’t it?” Asmodeus said as he opened a Chinese fortune cookie and read his fortune.

“It is,” Lilith nodded, “when the U.S. finally figured it out and Donald Trump got his toupee caught in a Venus flytrap, then the word went forth from that time and place for the toppling of Huawei. And Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou was on the U.S. government hit list. And Justin Trudeau’s Canada did the dirty work and was left holding the bag.”

“So China is #1 when it comes to the Internet then?” Asmodeus took out his tablet.

“Actually Israel is ahead of China when it comes to the Internet, 5G and AI,” Lilith answered.

“Israel?” Asmodeus swallowed all 10 of his cigarettes in surprise.

“Yes,” Lilith nodded, “For the past dozen years, Israel has quietly become number one in the world when it comes to Internet technology, Internet security, cyberwarfare, 5G and AI. That’s why Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman is seeking an alliance with Israel. If he wants his new economic autonomous zone and technological research and development super city state of NEOM (to be built over the site where Moses received the 10 Commandments from Yahweh) to succeed, he’ll need Israeli expertise and know-how. Thanks to Israeli agencies like Talpiot which is sort of an Israeli equivalent of DARPA, the Rand Institute think tank and the Green Beret Special Forces combined and Unit 8200 of the Israeli Intelligence Corps., Israel leads the way in Third Wave Information Age technology.”

“Then maybe Israel will bring forth the Mark and the Image of the Beast,” Asmodeus suggested as he ate a kosher corned beef sandwich.

“Well according to some kabbalistic groups in Israel, the Messiah is supposed to arrive on the Festival of Purim this year which falls on March 20th to 21st the same time as the Spring equinox in the northern hemisphere,” Lilith pointed out, “and if the Kabbalistic Messiah is the Antichrist of Christian eschatology, the Mark and Image of the Beast system will be ready to go.”

“Hello,” Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing arrived on the scene carrying a personal handwritten message from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to Lilith asking for the release of the Golem of Prague whom the vampiress had recently abducted, “does anyone here know the closest place where I might be able to get some dental floss?”.

Lilith reached down her dress.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 7th
2019.


What occult secrets is the vampiress Lilith hiding under her dress?

Permalink 4 Comments

Lilith, Putin, Golgotha and The Golem of Prague

February 21, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Lilith was on her vast estate near Astana the capital city of Kazakhstan.

It was there that she had hidden the Golem of Prague that she had stolen (with the help of Count Dracula) from the attic of the Old New Synagogue in Prague.

She would be having a video phone conferencing call with the Presidents of Russia, Turkey, Iran and Venezuela to show them the body of the captured Golem.

The Black Dragon (the supernatural entity who was the leading advisor to Chinese President Xi Jinping) would be flying in from Beijing in his flying dragon form to personally see the Golem for himself.

There were rumours that Russian President Vladimir Putin would likewise be flying in from Moscow to personally see the Golem for himself.

As Lilith sat in her living room drinking cocktails, her vampiress daughter Golgotha stood guard on a portion of her mother’s Nouveau Babylon estate as it was called to prevent Britain’s MI-6 or Israel’s Mossad from retaking the Golem.

She sat there looking positively resplendent in the woods of the estate.

Wandering through the woods was Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing who had been sent to this Estate by MP Renfield R. Renfield who was the co-chair of the British House of Commons Covert Intelligence Committee and was working with the Israeli government to get the golem returned to Prague.

“Mr. Van Helsing,” Golgotha greeted him, “don’t you know you’re trespassing on private property? You could use a spanking for your behaviour.”

Van Helsing had to admit that she was probably right.

So he took off his clothes and lay across her red skirted and black silk nylon lap where she administered a good sound thorough walloping.

They then had tantric sex afterwards.

. . .

“Why the Hell isn’t that bastard answering his mobile phone?” Renfield R. Renfield swore as he sat in the office of French President Emmanuel Macron, “I bet that bastard is busy having tantric sex with someone.”

Macron looked up from the tour guide book he was reading entitled The Best Place To Find Cougars In Paris and blinked before asking, “Tantric sex? Dracul Van Helsing is having tantric sex?”.

“Most likely,” Renfield’s face turned redder than the cover of the booklet Quotations From Chairman Mao Tse-tung, “That’s what happens when you watch too many James Bond movies with either Sean Connery or Roger Moore playing Bond when you’re a teen-ager, you’re forever horny.”

“I wonder if that works when you’re older as well,” Macron applied some more mascara to his eyelashes, “I should go take a look at my video library.”

. . .

The Greek god of the sea Poseidon looked at the statue of himself at the Fountain of Neptune in Florence, Italy.

“I do have to admit that’s a very good likeness,” Poseidon commented through mouthfuls of seafood linguini.

“And like me, he doesn’t have his trident,” Poseidon remarked wistfully.

For his trident had been stolen by Atargatis the ancient northern Syrian mermaid goddess.

. . .

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith stood outside her house waiting for Vladimir Putin’s helicopter and the Black Dragon of Beijing to arrive.

The Red Army helicopter and the Black Dragon arrived at the same time crashing into one another.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God!” Golgotha shrieked in sheer joyful ecstasy from the other side of the Estate.

“It appears my daughter Golgotha has finally inherited my bloodlust,” Lilith thought to herself.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 21st
2019.

Permalink 4 Comments

The Golem of Prague Has Gone Missing

February 19, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Politics, Spy Tales, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


DARPA Contract Assassiness and Renfield associate Panty Goatee in Prague on the lookout for the Golem of Prague

“The Golem of Prague has gone missing, gentlemen,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield announced somewhat somberly over his rum and coke to the ghosts of Orson Welles and Sir Winston Churchill.

“Mazel tov,” exclaimed Orson Welles’ ghost inappropriately and somewhat less soberly over his spectral bottle of Mogen David wine.

“Gazooks!” Churchill’s ghost put down his spectral lox and cream cheese bagel.

“Yes, I just got a text message from the Controller of The Golem,” Renfield referred to the Israeli Mossad Agent who went by that code name, “The Golem of Prague went missing last night from the invisible corner of the attic of Prague’s Old New Synagogue when the cantor punched in his invisible co-ordinates on his mobile phone to see if the Golem was still present albeit invisibly.”

“Holy contradiction in terms, Batman,” Churchill’s ghost remarked in somewhat Robinesque fashion, “how did that happen?”.

“Well according to video surveillance footage,” Renfield looked at the footage on his Huawei smart phone, “the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith and the Transylvanian Count Dracula (who appeared to be in a hypnotic state) flew into the attic and minutes later were seen carrying out a very visible Golem. The video has been shared 666 million times on social media because during the Golem heist, the vampiress Lilith was wearing the last evening dress that House of Chanel Creative Fashion Director Karl Lagerfeld (September 10th 1933 – February 19th 2019) who died earlier today had ever designed.”

“Lilith was wearing a Karl Lagerfeld evening gown when she stole the Golem?” Welles’ ghost dropped his cigar in incredulity.

“Say what you will about Lilith,” Renfield poured himself a glass of Glenlivet Single Malt Whisky, “The vampiress does have impeccable good taste.”

“But how was she able to access the code for the invisible corner of the attic of Prague’s Old New Synagogue?” Churchill’s ghost bit deep into his spectral cigar spilling ectoplasmic ash all over his spirited spiritly suit, “only the Controller of the Golem and his designated successor within Mossad know the complicated access code which is to be found in the world’s only Jewish Chinese abacus the whereabouts in Israel that only the Controller and his successor know. Such has always been the case since the state of Israel was created back in 1948.”

“I don’t know how the code was cracked,” Renfield cracked himself a walnut as Donald Trump appeared on his smart phone extolling the virtues of building a wall.

. . .

“It was pure luck,” the somewhat inebriated Irish leprechaun Yaldabaoth (son of the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom Sophia when she was still a virgin although she was helped in terms of genetic manipulation and cloning techniques by the immortal Egyptian priest-scientist Imhotep) told Stephen Colbert the host of the Late Show, “I really didn’t know how to crack the code. But after drinking 200 pints of Guinness, ask me to do anything and I’ll probably do it. Which explains how I wound up face down in the gutter in front of the Apostolic home of the recently defrocked former Cardinal Theodore McCarrick back when he was still Archbishop of Washington DC. I woke up with an awfully sore rectum I do recall.”

“And did Lilith actually wear the last evening gown that Karl Lagerfeld ever designed before he died when she abducted the Golem of Prague?” Colbert asked.

“That she did,” Yaldabaoth nodded as he helped himself to a can of Samuel Adams GOAT Beer and then tossed it aside when he noticed his half-brother’s picture on it, “a Karl Lagerfeld evening dress, red silk nylons and blue spiked stiletto high heeled shoes. I myself wore a pair of green silk tights and a denim mini skirt that I had bought from Old Navy.”

“Are you trying to copy my transsexual transgendered habits?” Yaldabaoth’s younger brother/sister the Baphomet (the male/female human goat demon hybrid that was the son/daughter of the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom Sophia after she had made out with the Greek nature satyr god Pan) lunged at him from the audience.

“We appear to have a fight going on between a transgendered human goat demon hybrid and an Irish leprechaun,” Colbert informed his audience.

Meanwhile backstage the Nazi SS vampiress Helga Electrafreudenbund awaited to talk to Yaldabaoth.

She had failed in her own mission to destroy the Golem back during World War II.
She had ended up being strangled by the Golem of Prague but was brought back to life by Dr. Josef Mengele and then turned into a vampiress by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

. . .

“The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith is behind much of the anti-Semitism currently happening in Britain and France,” Renfield explained to Welles and Churchill, “Vengeance for what she said was the defamation and libel of her good name in The Babylonian Talmud.”

“What about the current anti-Semitism in the Labour Party?” Churchill asked.

“I’ll have to ask my good friend Liverpool Wavertree MP Luciana Berger,” Renfield replied, “formerly of the Labour Party but left yesterday with 6 other former Labour MPs to form the Independent Group.”


Liverpool Wavertree MP Luciana Berger in much happier times last summer.
Getting her picture taken by fellow MP Renfield R. Renfield as he did his impersonation of Groucho Marx smoking a cigar and doing his hybrid duck/penguin walk.

-A vampire novel
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 19th
2019.

R.I.P. Karl Lagerfeld
September 10th 1933
to
February 19th 2019.


Naomi Campbell wearing an outfit designed by Karl Lagerfeld

Permalink Leave a Comment

Next page »