Circe

January 23, 2022 at 10:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Literature, Mythology, News, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Circe Offering The Cup To Ulysses by John William Waterhouse 1891

Circe
Daughter of the sun god Helios
And the Oceanid nymph Perse
An enchantress living on the island
of Aeaea
She has turned most of Ulysses’ crew
into swine
She had lured the Odyssey crew
to her island
with her lovely singing
While weaving on an enormous loon

She had invited the crew to a feast
A pottage of cheese and meat
Sweetened with honey
And laced with wine
But also mixed with potion
That turns them into swine

Ulysses was on board his ship at the time
As he approaches Circe’s palace
Athena sends Hermes to warn him
of Circe’s sorcery
Hermes provides Ulysses with moly
To protect him from Circe’s magic

Circe and the potion beckons but Ulysses does not become swine

. . .

The streets of Kiev, January 2022.

London private eyes Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie were on a spying mission for the British government.

“Who has let these thousands of swine into the streets of Kiev?” Magog wanted to know.

“They were previously NATO soldiers,” Agathor (who had taken the Kiev nightwatch to Magog’s daywatch) explained.

“They were?” Magog was stunned, “Who turned them into swine?”.

“Do you know your Greek mythology and your 19th Century pre-Raphaelite art?” Agathor asked.

“I do,” Magog nodded.

Agathor pointed.

Magog looked.

And standing there was the ancient Greek enchantress Circe not looking a day over 25.

Circe started to sing as she started weaving on a loom.

“Who is she trying to lure to Kiev with her singing?” Magog inquired of Agathor.

“The Russians,” Agathor answered.

“To turn them into swine?” Magog blinked.

“No to turn them into the rulers of Kiev,” Agathor lit a cigar, “It’s NATO she turned into swine.”

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday January 23rd
2022.

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Leya

January 18, 2020 at 11:53 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Leya

Back on July 7th 2013, Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley (then a British Labour MP at the time) had made out with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in a maternity ward in the West Bank town of Bethlehem.

9 months later, Lilith gave birth to a baby girl.

The girl she handed over to Dr. Nicht Werhoffen a scientist for the Russian FSB (who had previously worked for the East German Stasi prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall).

Dr. Werhoffen put the baby in a test tube and had accelerated her growth so she reached adulthood within the space of 6 months.

He then sent her to spy on the Israeli Mossad so that Russia could see what the Israelis were up to.

Leya was put in to serve as a stenographer to Jeffrey Epstein who ran a notorious child sex trafficking ring in the U.S. designed to blackmail American politicians of all political stripes to serve Israel’s interests.

Epstein being the horny predatory bastard that he was tried to make his own moves on Leya but she had the ability to shapeshift into a wolf (from a DNA gene she inherited from her father the Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley) and bit the Mossad operative where it hurt the most.

When Epstein was arrested on July 6th of last year on federal charges for the sex trafficking of minors in Florida and New York, Leya found herself out of a job as a stenographer.

She left both the Mossad and the FSB and went to the United Kingdom where she knew her father had lived.

Her mother Lilith had wanted nothing to do with her.

So now she decided to track down her father.

All she knew of him was that he had once been a British Member of Parliament.

She ended up bathing in the waters off the coast of Cornwall during the last wolf moon back on January 10th of this year.

She had been told by a London gypsy seer and medium Dulcinea Lucia that her father generally bathed in the waters off the coast of Cornwall on the night of the Wolf Moon but there was no sign of him.

Dulcinea Lucia was not mistaken.

Magog Rhys Petley usually did do that.

But not this year.

As he had to move his private eye office (which he partnered with former British Conservative MP Agathor Christie) to a cheaper location in London at the time of the Wolf Moon.

The song Leya sang to herself that lonely night of the Wolf Moon in the cold Cornish coastal waters:

Where are you, Dad?
I thought you’d be here

On this cold and lonely night 
I wanted to hold you tight 
Tell me who I am, where I’m from
On this night of crystal frost
I look into the sky, seeming lost 

I see your face in the moon
Wish I could feel your presence soon
And now I turn, I turn into you
I cry, I cry out loud 

On this night of mist and cloud
Where, oh where? You’re not there
These tears of salt, an ocean to spare 
This loneliness, it drives to despair

It’s been said, this too shall pass 
This emptiness, it will not last 

I will now head to the shore 
Devoid of the hope I held before, 
The moon it shines sending its beams
But on this night, it casts shadows on my dreams.

-A vampire novel chapter
and poem 
written by Christopher
Saturday January 18th
2020.

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Agathor and Magog Meet In London

November 6, 2019 at 11:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Agathor and Magog Meet In London

Having visited their respective constituencies, former British Conservative Party MP Agathor Christie and former British Labour Party MP Magog Rhys Petley met up again in London.

The two former MPs (of different political parties) had formed a private eye business together in the British capital after their respective defeats in the 2017 UK General Election.

Now that a December election was looming this year, both men decided to try their luck at getting back into Parliament.

Not that it would be an easy task as the 2 British Transhumanist Party candidates who had defeated them- Renfield R. Renfield in Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds (who took out Agathor) and the Welsh vampiress Morgana in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge (who took out Magog) were extremely popular among their constituents heading into the next election campaign.

Still as Count Dracula said when he went to sleep in his coffin the night he would end up being slain by Dr. Abraham Van Helsing, “Never say die.”

Thus proving there was a definite disparity between words and action.

“So, how’s it going, Agathor?” Magog asked his Conservative friend.

“Good, good,” Agathor answered.

Silence.

“And how’s it going, Magog?” Agathor inquired of his Labour friend.

“Good, good,” Magog answered.

Silence again.

“Well, nice seeing you again, Magog,” Agathor finished his beer and stood up to leave.

“You too, Agathor,” Magog likewise finished his beer and stood up to leave.

The two shook hands and went back to their respective London lodgings.

“What a waste of time that meeting seemed to have been,” a British Liberal Democratic MP said to a small talking peregrine falcon who claimed to be a reincarnation of the Egyptian god Horus.

“I agree,” said Horus who was busy looking at the way his eye was depicted on the back of the U.S. One Dollar bill that lay on the table.

The Egyptian jackal headed god Anubis who was sitting at a corner table (and watching the Liberal Democratic Party MP with the talking peregrine falcon who claimed to be the reincarnation of Horus) finished his beer and thought to himself, “I better go and tell Dad that the spirit of his nephew Horus might be possessing the body of a peregrine falcon.”

He went to tell his father the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set the news.

Meanwhile Agathor Christie had returned to his London lodgings and was having pleasant dreams.

He dreamed he was down in Mexico where he was meeting Señorita Dulcinea del Toboso the love of Don Quixote’s life.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 6th
2019.

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Renfield Begins Re-Election Campaign

October 29, 2019 at 10:37 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Begins Re-Election Campaign 

By a margin of 438 votes to 20, the British House of Commons voted to approve Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s date for a UK national election to be held this coming December 12th.

This would pave the way for Britain’s first December election since 1923.

Johnson said the British public must be given a choice over the future of “Brexit and the country”.

As the vote took place, British MP Renfield R. Renfield the UK’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering sat on the benches eating a dozen Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches that he pulled out of a large bag prominently displaying the Chick-fil-A logo.

He also wore a t-shirt showing Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt when she turned back to look on the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

The visual display at the moment of the historic vote lost him the endorsement of both Justin Trudeau and Barack Obama for his re-election campaign (not of course that Renfield was expecting their endorsements anyways).

Renfield also earned himself an excommunication from Pope Francis even though he wasn’t Catholic (but then again it could be argued neither was the Pope).

Renfield went home to the colossal West London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set where he lived while in London.

He noticed Set on the front lawn outside cutting up a large block of ice and what appeared to be a body inside the block of ice.

Renfield walked through the front door of the mansion where he informed his friend Amadeus Emanon that he would be renting a room in a Bed and Breakfast place in the town of Tewkesbury for the next couple of months as he fought his re-election campaign in his constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds.

Meanwhile London-based PIs Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie were flying home from New York City to London.

They had just finished handing in a report to Lev Tomi the Secretary General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change on who were the groups and individuals responsible for starting the wild fires that raged through the Amazon rain forests this past summer.

Their investigation came to a sudden halt when they stumbled on a location where shaman priests and priestesses of Pachamama (who was the ancient Inca goddess of the earth and earthquakes) were sacrificing both llamas and humans to Pachamama.

Now that it looked like a UK general election would soon be held, the two private eyes mutually agreed to seek their old jobs as MPs.

For Agathor Christie who had been the British Conservative MP for Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds prior to the spring 2017 British election, this would mean defeating current British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield (who had beaten him back in spring 2017).

For Magog Rhys Petley who had been British Labour MP for the Welsh constituency of Newbridge prior to the spring 2017 election, this would mean defeating British Transhumanist MP Morgana Fay Lee who was a Welsh vampiress who had beaten him back in spring 2017.

The Welsh vampiress Morgana: the lovely little devil about to take on Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley in the upcoming British general election.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 29th
2019.

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Quetzalcoatl In The Amazon Rainforest

October 7, 2019 at 10:51 pm (Horror, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Quetzalcoatl In The Amazon Rainforest 

London based private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley continued their trek through the Amazon rainforest to see who was responsible for starting the fires there this past summer.

“I miss a pint of good English brown ale at the moment,” said Agathor Christie.

“I miss a nice steaming plate of Welsh rarebit,” answered Magog Rhys Petley.

“I miss all the hallucinogenic plants to be found in my part of the Amazon,” stated their indigenous guide in his native language.

They stumbled upon a clearing in the jungle.

A flying reptile dinosaur flew over them.

“Wow,” said an astonished Agathor Christie, “Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was right when he wrote his novel The Lost World about there being a lost world of dinosaurs to be found somewhere in the Amazon Rainforest.”

“Now Canadian blogger Dracul Van Helsing will know where to come to eat roast pterodactyl,” noted Magog Rhys Petley who had read the blogger’s Sunshine Blogger award post on one of those rare days when wireless internet was actually working in the Amazon Rainforest.

“That’s not a pterodactyl,” Agathor Christie remarked smugly, “That particular type of pterosaur that just just flew over us and unleashed his droppings on our guide… I’d wager to say that what he’s currently saying in his language are a whole bunch of expletives… that pterosaur is called a Quetzalcoatlus.”

“Well aren’t you the big know it all,” Magog spoke in sarcastic fashion.

“It comes from taking Paleontology as my Science option in University,” Agathor smiled.

Suddenly loud piercing screams came from another part of the clearing.

The trio looked in the direction of the screams and noticed a man dressed in ceremonial robes ripping the hearts out of people with an obsidian knife after they were placed on an altar.

A fierce looking creature then grabbed the hearts and ate them after they were ripped out of the sacrificial victims’ chests.

“What in the name of God is that?” Magog pointed at the fierce looking creature.

“That is the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl,” Agathor Christie once again smiled smugly.

“And how do you know that, all knowing one?” Magog was thinking of punching out his partner’s clock.

“I recognize him from illustrations and drawings,” Agathor continued to smile, “I took Mesoamerican Religions as my Religious Studies option back in University.”

They watched as the priest continued to rip out still beating hearts and gave them to Quetzalcoatl to eat.

“I wonder what Quetzalcoatl is doing in Brazil when he’s supposed to be in Mexico,” Agathor Christie scratched his head.

“Perhaps he downloaded the latest upgraded version of GPS app to his laptop and got hopelessly lost as a result,” Magog suggested.

The priest doing the sacrificing had a short wave radio next to the sacrificial altar on which this song was being played,

Bonnie Tyler singing, 

“Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 7th
2019.

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Phoenix Diabolicus The Vicar of Lucifer

September 26, 2019 at 10:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Phoenix Diabolicus The Vicar of Lucifer

The figure of Phoenix Diabolicus (the demon who was the Vicar of Lucifer On Earth) emerged from his painting in the Vatican Art Collection.

Something that startled Samhain Cardinal Salaman.

The Cardinal had been told who was the subject of the painting but he had never expected the figure to come to life.

“Good evening, Cardinal Salaman,” said Phoenix Diabolicus.

The Cardinal was too shocked to say anything.

“I’m pleased with the way the world is going,” Phoenix Diabolicus stretched his long black wings which felt tired and sore after being kept cooped up in that painting for so long.

“Oh yes?” Cardinal Salaman was flicking through the pockets of his robes trying to find his Rosary (a gift to him from a Polish priest and an object he had never used before).

“Indeed,” Phoenix Diabolicus stroked his moustache, “A potential for civil war or Beijing military intervention emerging in the island of Hong Kong. Tensions running rampant in the United Kingdom over Brexit. The Democrats setting up an impeachment inquiry into Donald Trump only adding to the further polarization in that already polarized nation that is called the United States of America. And what’s really advantageous is there’s no Abraham Lincoln like figure in sight. So the divided house will fall. The State of Israel is in chaos. War looms between Saudi Arabia and Iran in the Middle East. And your own boss Pope Francis is paving the way for the worship of the spirits of the Amazon Rainforest next month totally oblivious to the fact that not all the spirits in the Amazon Rainforest are good. Or at least not good in the sense that Our Enemy On The Cross defines it.”

The figure of Phoenix Diabolicus stepped back in the painting.

And Samhain Cardinal Salaman stood there.

Unable to move.

. . .

Private eyes Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie were trudging their way through the Amazon Rainforest.

They had recently been hired by Lev Tomi the Secretary-General of The United Nations Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change to discover who had been setting the fires in the Amazon Rainforest this past summer.

Now they were in a dense little travelled section of the Amazon Rainforest.

“I hope our native guide knows his way back,” Agathor remarked.

“I hope our native guide isn’t a cannibal planning to eat us,” Magog stated as he wiped his sweating forehead with his handkerchief.

“That statement ranks of cultural imperialism,” Agathor the former British Conservative MP teased his Marxist friend the former Labour MP Magog.

“Being out here does that to a person,” Magog continued to wipe his brow.

Their guide bowed down to a tree.

“Must be a sacred tree,” Agathor remarked.

Magog pointed to a small carved figure standing at the base of the tree and asked, “What’s that?”.

“Father and Mother of All Life,” the native said in English as he bowed.

“Justin Trudeau would be pleased with this native’s feminist and transgendered sensibilities,” Magog remarked.

“Doesn’t that wooden idol look familiar?” Agathor asked.

Magog took a closer look and commented, “It looks like the Baphomet that supernatural entity worshipped by those Satanic Temple groups in the U.S. and Canada.”

“That’s because it is the Baphomet figure,” Agathor said as he put on his monocle and looked at it.

“Baphomet is worshipped by some of the natives here in the Amazon?” Magog was genuinely surprised.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 26th
2019.

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Friday The 13th Harvest Moon

September 13, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Poetry, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Friday the 13th Harvest Moon

Try not to think of this as your death,
The vampiress approached,
It’s just another harvest moon,
She glimmered in the full light of the moon,
Her hair, her gown,
She was luminous,
An angel of light….

“Bat out of Hell…” Meatloaf sang on the radio…
“Could be one and the same thing,”
The vampiress laughed as she approached,
“But it is just another harvest moon…”

“A Friday the 13th Harvest Moon,” said the man tied up in the chair,
“A black cat crossed my path today,
I walked under a ladder,
I crossed knives,
I looked a Greek tycoon’s gift horse in the mouth today at the racetrack
And I ran a hockey goalie named Jason over with my car today
getting my tires slashed in the process.”

“I understand there’s a werewolf howling in the rainforests of the Amazon tonight,” the vampiress smiled,
“On this harvest moon,”
She continued to sing.

“The werewolf would be Magog Rhys Petley,”
said the man,
“A London based Welsh private eye bitten by a snake’s head named Rahu during a lunar eclipse many years ago,
Turned the poor fellow into a werewolf for some reason,
Lev Tomi hired him to find out who’s setting fire to the Amazon rainforests
And now he’s howling away under a harvest moon.”

“On this harvest moon,” the vampiress sang.

“I wonder if Neil Young would like your cover,” the man said.

The vampiress’ gown fell off her shoulders on to the floor.

“I guess he would,” smiled the man, 
“he’d probably like you under cover as well.”

“And what about you, Inspector Depp?” The vampiress asked the Scotland Yard detective, “Would you like me under cover?”.

“It’s a Friday the 13th Harvest Moon,” Depp answered, “Why not?”.

The vampiress bit his neck, drained all his blood and left him for dead.

“Like Britain after Halloween,” the vampiress laughed.

She walked out into the night where she was followed by a black jaguar with silver eyes.

The vampiress walked to the clock tower of Big Ben.

She turned and faced the Jaguar.

She once again dropped her gown.

The Black Jaguar turned into a man who made love to her.

And the bells of Big Ben, which were supposed to be silent while being repaired, started playing the tune, 
“On this Harvest Moon…”

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 13th
2019.

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Amazon On Fire

August 22, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Amazon On Fire

London-based private eyes Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie sat in the New York City office of Lev Tomi the Secretary-General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.

Unbeknownst to Magog and Agathor, Lev Tomi was a vampire.

Hence the reason for the late night meeting.

During his mortal life, Lev Tomi had been the Russian Communist Leon Trotsky.

Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie had recently been deported from Argentina as their investigation into a sex trafficking ring (with possible close ties to the Vatican) was getting a little too close for the powers that be behind the curtains who were secretly running the world.

“Gentlemen,” Lev Tomi took off his wire rimmed spectacles and wiped them, “I want you to go down to Brazil and investigate and find out who’s responsible for setting all the wild fires that are currently burning up the Amazon rain forests which are the lungs of planet Earth.”

“Well according to Jair Bolsonaro the President of Brazil, the ones who set the fires are the NGOs of Brazil since his government slashed funding to them,” Magog noted.

“And do you believe him?” Lev Tomi stroked his dark goatee beard.

“No,” Magog shook his head, “They don’t call him the Donald Trump of Brazil for nothing.”

“Will you take the case?” Tomi asked.

“We will,” Magog agreed.

. . .

Meanwhile at the Vatican, Cardinal JM (which was his code name) the head of the Vatican Secret Intelligence Service was secretly pleased about the wild fires happening in the Amazon rain forest.

The reason was the upcoming Synod On The Amazon which was being held at the Vatican this coming October.

Cardinal JM and his fellow pagan cardinals at the Vatican (which was actually a great many of them) were hoping to use that synod to overturn 2000 years of Catholic doctrine and liturgy.

And they were hoping to use the ecological crisis facing the Amazon region of South America to be able to do just that.

. . .

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson and French President Emmanuel Macron were meeting in Paris to discuss Brexit and the question of the Irish backstop on the Republic of Ireland/Northern Ireland border.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel in her meeting with Johnson in Berlin yesterday said that if Johnson could come up with a solution to the Irish backstop problem within 30 days, she would be willing to listen.

Macron, on the other hand, like most pompous and arrogant French leaders, was not so accommodating.

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who liked to drink and sleep with part of his body on one half of the Irish border and the other part of his body on the other) watched the Johnson-Macron meeting live on his Samsung Galaxy tablet while drinking from a large keg of Jameson Whiskey and recalling how he had once saved all of Ireland from the Prussian invasion of 1807.

Or was it the Napoleonic invasion of 1808?

He always got those two years and two invasions mixed up for some reason.

The leprechaun fell asleep.

. . .

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora was wearing a red Italian Renaissance era style dress and walking down the steps and corridors of the ancient Italian city of Ravenna.

She smiled when she saw Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing approach.

“Your Vampiric Majesty,” Dracul greeted her, “I need your help in stopping Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s Turkish army from invading northern Syria and massacring Kurds and Christians.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 22nd
2019.

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Allatallahbel On A Desert Highway, Golgotha and DNA Altering Swedish Meatballs

March 14, 2019 at 10:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Mythology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


The Vampiress Allatallahbel on a desert highway in Nevada

It had recently come to the attention of Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal that London private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley were investigating the mysterious death of Argentine adult film star Natacha Jaitt.

German Cardinal Walter Kasper had told her this investigation might prove hazardous to the pontificate of Pope Francis.

And Jorge Mario Bergoglio had proved to be a very accomodating useful idiot to her Vampiric Knights-Templar and their Freemasonic allies.

Allatallahbel decided she better do something to end the investigation.

She had discovered their investigation had taken them to an Argentine run casino in Las Vegas Nevada.

Now it was taking them to a little known polar bear fur trading post in the Nevada desert which was proving to be a huge Donald Trump approved tax write-off for the Argentine run casino.

Allatallahbel put on her best desert highway hitchhiking attire on the road Agathor and Magog would be driving towards the money losing polar bear fur trading post:

Both men (who were not wearing seat belts) went flying through the windshields of their Budget Rent-A-Car Volkswagen when Magog hit the brakes upon seeing her.

. . .

DARPA contract assasin and satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had felt a craving for a Meatball Marinara sub sandwich at the Subway store in a nearby mall.

He had gone there and discovered to his horror that a ugly looking woman was already in line at the counter in front of him.

Goatee whose serial killing specialty was killing ugly looking women promptly beheaded the uglo with his astral laser machete.

He had lost his appetite upon seeing the ugly looking creature and decided to walk to a nearby discount supermarket to buy some bottles of generic brand Diet Cola.

He of course got in line behind a beautiful looking woman.

But then an ugly looking woman who was stupid as well as ugly that was in front of the beautiful looking woman had discovered that she had brought the wrong brands of pizza- the ones not on sale- and tried getting in Pan Goatee’s way to go get the properly discounted ones.

Goatee promptly beheaded the ugly looking airhead.

“To raise the collective IQ of the world and improve the Earth’s aesthetic beauty all in one stroke,” Goatee remarked as he put the astral laser machete back in his Clint Eastwood autographed Two Mules For Sister Sarah spaghetti western holster.

. . .


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith inside one of the catacombs in Rome

Lilith was in one of the catacombs beneath the Vatican.

Near one of the tombs of the ancient Nephilim giants that the Vatican had kept hidden from the world for centuries.

On the grave of a rare Nephilim dwarf, Imhotep the Rome-based Egyptian souvenir vendor and former High Priest-Scientist of Ra was working overtime to save the Undead life of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau vampire Franz Kohler.

He had found Kohler’s body after the latter had been shot with silver bullets fired at him by Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing at the Latin numeral Clock of Thoth in London a couple of nights ago.

Imhotep had used a papal dirigible The Sindenburg to fly the body from London to Rome.

He had extracted the silver bullets from Kohler’s body while on the Sindenburg and then used a brew of extracts of three tana leaves (as recommended by the Universal Pictures Mummy horror movies of the early 1940s) to keep the SS vampire alive.

Now he was about to use a brew of extracts of nine tana leaves (also recommended by the Universal Pictures Mummy horror movies of the early 1940s) to restore full movement, life and consciousness back to the SS vampire.

Lilith smiled as she saw Kohler’s eyes open and then ask, “Does anybody know where I can buy some good Bavarian beer sausage?”.

. . .

The Irish leprechaun Yaldabaoth was having a lunch of Guinness stout and pork pies with the Himalayan golden cobra serpent Maitreya who had crowned himself High King of Ireland a couple of years ago.

“Do you know what they’re now claiming in Pakistan?” Yaldabaoth asked Maitreya.

“No, what?” Maitreya asked as he used a New Age crystal healing stone (highly recommended by Tom Brady’s witch wife Gisele Bundchen) to try to re-heat his pork pie.

“That the recent Indian air strikes on Pakistan were part of a combined Hindu-Zionist plot to destroy Pakistan,” Yaldabaoth downed a full 72 ounce glass of Guinness, “and that Israeli Air Force pilots even participated in the air strikes on Pakistan.”

“How stupid can people get,” Maitreya remarked as using the New Age healing stone to re-heat his pork pie seemed to be going nowhere.

“I hope this won’t affect me any,” Yaldabaoth gorged down a whopping piece of pork pie, “my mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom told the Neo-Platonist schools of Alexandria that I Yaldabaoth am the same entity as Yahweh the god of the Hebrews. She came up with this idea after going on a hallucinogenic trip when she drank some fermented juice that was given her by the Hindu moon god Soma. This idea has since passed into Gnosticism where many Gnostic groups are convinced that I’m a bumbling demi-urge who stupidly created the material universe- the same charge that’s leveled against Yahweh.”

“I think with your love of pork pies,” Maitreya threw away the New Age healing stone in disgust, “no one would mistake you for the god of the Hebrews.”

. . .


Golgotha dressed as a Viking warrior princess ready to steal some DNA altering Swedish meat balls from a combined lab and kitchen in Stockholm.

The vampiress Golgotha had been sent to Stockholm Sweden by her mother the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

It had come to the attention of Lilith’s vast intelligence network that the Norse goddess Freya working in concert with the famous Swedish-Italian cook Chef Bjorg Jar (pronounced Yar) Dee had invented some DNA altering Swedish meatballs which, when consumed, gave people super human strength.

Lilith desired these DNA altering Swedish meatballs for the vast army of warriors she was building in Central Asia.

And now Golgotha dressed as a Viking warrior princess would be battling the intelligence agencies of the world in the kitchens of Stockholm to get the secret recipe for these DNA altering Swedish meatballs.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 14th
2019.

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Reblog of Shiva Visits An Episcopalian Cathedral

March 6, 2019 at 11:03 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Science, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote back in 2017.

It shows the interregnum period between the time Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley served as British Members of Parliament and the time they opened up their own Private Eye office in London.

Dracul Van Helsing

Shiva Visits An Episcopalian Cathedral

Former MPs Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley were on a trip to New York City together.

Both men had been defeated in their respective constituencies by candidates for the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party in the recent British general election.

Agathor Christie of the British Conservatives had been defeated in his rural English constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds by British Transhumanist Renfield R. Renfield (the former Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises).

And Magog Rhys Petley of the British Labour Party had been defeated in his rural Welsh constituency of Newbridge by Transhumanist Morgana Fay Lee (who some people claimed was a vampiress and the niece of the Arthurian era sorceress Morgan Le Fay).

Since both men had two things in common- 1) both being defeated by British Transhumanists and 2) Both having an utter loathing for British Prime…

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