North By Northwest: Red August of The Sturgeon Moon

August 11, 2022 at 10:19 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1959 film North By Northwest

Alfred Hitchcock’s 1959 film North By Northwest starring Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint is a tale of spies, danger and intrigue.

And Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his lobster tank at London’s Set Enterprises watching the film on his waterproof 72 inch widescreen flat screen TV.

Why was Michelangelo watching this film on this night of all nights?

Therein hangs a tale.

Quite possibly a fish tale (fish tail).

Tonight was the night of the full moon- the August full moon – called the Sturgeon Moon.

It is said among fishermen that the best night to catch sturgeon was on the night of the Sturgeon Moon (the August full moon).

Interestingly enough tonight’s full moon- the August Sturgeon Moon- will be the last supermoon of this year.

This Sturgeon Moon will be the fourth supermoon in a row after the Buck Moon in July, Strawberry Moon in June and Flower Moon in May.

A celestial meteor shower will also be seen tonight in conjunction with this year’s last Supermoon.

Anyhow since tonight’s full moon is a Sturgeon Moon (and a Sturgeon Supermoon at that) and it is said among fishermen that the best night to catch sturgeon was on the night of the Sturgeon Moon, Michelangelo’s employer the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set decided to go fishing in Canada’s Northwest to catch sturgeon.

And it was then that Renfield mentioned the film North By Northwest to Michelangelo.

So Michelangelo was watching the movie.

In the film version that Michelangelo was watching, the film’s villain Phillip Vandamm (played by James Mason) says, “One day our side of the Cold War will take over the American FBI.”

. . .

The United States’ Neo-Bolshevik Communist Attorney-General Merrick Garland was holding a press conference discussing the Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI raid on Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate.

As he took questions, he was suddenly confronted by the ghost of famous American criminal trial lawyer and defense attorney Johnnie Cochran.

Said Cochran to Garland,

“You’re a Marxist-Leninist man
Who belongs in the nearest trash can
Mark my words
You pile of turds
The day of reckoning is soon at hand
And you won’t have a leg to stand
You’re always seeking to intimidate
Cause you have no tool to use to masturbate …”

. . .

At the Vatican, Pope Francis was looking flashed and flushed after having spent the day meeting with members of Rome’s transvestite transexual prostitute community.

This was the fourth time this year that the pontiff had met with the group.

A statement issued from the Vatican Press Office said that Pope Francis was offering spiritual comfort to them.

Now Pope Francis was getting his daily briefing of world events from one of his Jesuit aides.

When the aide had finished, Francis directed him to “find out which entity it was who had hired the ghost of Johnnie Cochran to act as Donald Trump’s ghostly defense attorney.”

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Thursday August 11th
2022.

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The Dance of Salome: Red August

August 10, 2022 at 9:21 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

A woman called Salome had suddenly appeared in the West Wing of the White House.

She was dressed in a beautiful sparkly yellow Middle Eastern dress and stood against a beautiful white faux fireplace.

No one noticed the woman because there was no one in that particular room.

A few minutes later secret service agents entered the room.

They were not surprised to see a beautiful and attractive young woman in it.

One of the secret service agents spoke into his ear piece, “Hello, Roger Bear, this is Tweety Bird. Brown Diapers Old Pervert and Powdery Nose Young Pervert are now approaching.”

Brown Diapers Old Pervert and Powdery Nose Young Pervert were the secret service code names for Joe Biden and Hunter Biden respectively.

The father and son entered the room together.

Both said “Wow!” simultaneously when they saw Salome.

Hunter Biden pulled his pants and jockey shorts down and started doing what teen boys of the 1970s used to do when they saw a Playboy centerfold for the first time.

Joe Biden moved in to sniff Salome’s hair.

Salome flattened him with a kick of her shoes.

She then started dancing.

Joe Biden smiled like the Cheshire Cat.

“What can I get you?” Biden asked.

“The head of Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano on a silver platter,” Salome answered.

“Who’s Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano?” Biden asked and scratched his head.

. . .

Pope Francis received a phone call from a spiritist medium in Rome who told him that the ghost of King Herod Antipas had acquisced to his request.

. . .

Joe Biden’s scumbag Neo-Bolshevik Communist Attorney-General Merrick Garland was holding a meeting with the ghosts of Lavrentiy Beria (head of Josef Stalin’s NKVD Soviet secret police) and Jeffrey Epstein (pervert extraordinaire) to discuss the Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI raid of Monday August 8th 2022 on Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Florida estate.

. . .

Gender confused and pronoun paranoid anchorpersons at CNN were holding a televised discussion in which they were glowingly discussing the FBI raid on Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home in Florida.

They had just moved on to discussing what contents might have been found in Donald Trump’s safe when the FBI opened it.

It was at that moment that the ghost of O.J. Simpson defense attorney Johnnie Cochran appeared live on camera and joined the roundtable discussion.

Said Cochran as he took a deck of cards out of his coat pocket, “The FBI didn’t go to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago residence to find evidence, they went there to plant it. I just can’t stand it.”

As the CNN anchorpersons gazed at one another in bewilderment, Cochran continued.

The famed celebrity defense attorney pulled a condom out of his pocket and stated, “If the safe don’t fit, you must acquit.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 10th
2022.

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From Key Largo To Mar-A-Lago

August 9, 2022 at 10:17 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Actress Claire Trevor won the 1948 Best Supporting Actress Award for her portrayal of former nightclub singer Gaye Dawn in the 1948 film Key Largo that starred Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall and Edward G. Robinson

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises Laboratories in London, England.

He was watching the 1948 film Key Largo on his waterproof 72 inch wide flat screen TV.

He was doing so on the recommendations of his good friends British MP Renfield R. Renfield and world-renowned concert pianist Amadeus Emanon.

In one scene as Claire Trevor’s character of Gaye Dawn stood smoking a cigarette in the lobby of the Hotel Largo,

Edward G. Robinson’s character of mobster Johnny Rocco orders hostage Frank McCloud (Humphrey Bogart) to turn on the radio while hostage Nora Temple (Lauren Bacall) paints her fingernails an indeterminate colour as the film was shot in black and white.

After McCloud turned the radio on, the film version that Michelangelo was watching suddenly took a strange sci-fi twist as the radio of the lobby of the Hotel Largo in Key Largo, Florida in 1948 picked up a news story from the year 2022.

Said the radio announcer, “U.S. President Joe Biden just can’t help himself. Joe Biden was eager to fondle girls and sniff hair after being cooped up for two weeks in Covid isolation in the White House.
Biden arrived in Lexington, Kentucky Monday morning to survey damage from the recent floods that the trio of Al Gore, Pope Francis and Bill Gates blamed on global warming, climate change and the refusal of the American worker to eat bugs for breakfast, lunch and supper.
A maskless Joe Biden repeatedly coughed into his hand as he sat next to Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear (Democrat) at a press conference.
Beshear leaned away from Biden as the President continuously hacked into his hand.
First Lady Jill Biden hovered over Joe to make sure he stayed in line as they visited families impacted by the Kentucky floods.
But Joe just couldn’t keep his paws off of young women.
Creepy Joe even sniffed a woman’s hair.”

In an action that wasn’t even mentioned in the original Key Largo movie script written by director John Huston and screenplay writer Richard Brooks, Johnny Rocco went completely beserk and shot and killed all of the Hotel Largo hostages (thus bringing the movie to a sudden and abrupt end) because he couldn’t believe that a pervert such as Joe Biden could ever be elected President of the United States.

Michelangelo picked up the remote with one of his lobster claws and shut off the TV.

From a nearby room, he could hear Set Enterprises’ scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague listening to British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Tuesday night podcast.

Said Renfield, “Yesterday Neo-Bolshevik Communist operatives in the American FBI raided Donald Trump’s home at the Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida…”

Michelangelo adjusted his waterproof blankets and patted his waterproof pillow and picked up a copy of the book Phil Huston’s Tales To Battle Insomnia off his nightstand.

The lobster immediately fell asleep after reading the first sentence of the first chapter.

He had a dream (or was it a vision?) of the Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI raid on Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate.

He saw that the ghosts of Lavrentiy Beria (head of Josef Stalin’s NKVD Soviet secret police) and Jeffrey Epstein (pervert extraordinaire and close friend and bum buddy of influential politicians and globalist billionaires alike) were the ones leading the Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI raid on the Mar-a-Lago estate.

What, Michelangelo wondered, were Beria and Epstein doing leading an FBI raid on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate?

Meanwhile Donald Trump was having a phone conversation with his daughter Ivanka about the raid.

Said Donald to Ivanka, “I’m glad I left my dirty underwear in my safe. That will serve those Commie bastards in the FBI right as they sift through my underwear.”

Ivanka answered, “So you were able to keep all your dirty underwear in a single safe? I don’t think all of the safes in all of Fort Knox would be able to hold all of Joe Biden’s dirty underwear.”

Meanwhile in the Oval Office…

PLOOP !

Voice of Joe Biden (whining) : “Kamala, come change me…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 9th
2022.

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A Julian Calendar Christmas Day In Mar-a-Lago

January 7, 2020 at 11:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

A Julian Calendar Christmas Day In Mar-a-Lago

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun sat reading the book The Guns of August by historian Barbara W. Tuchman as he was sitting in the lobby of the Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida.

It was a book recommended to him by his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

He had watched an interview last night on BBC America of a BBC World News interview between anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy and his friend Renfield.

Yaldabaoth had text messaged Renfield asking if there were any good books he could read which could enlighten him to the current world situation vis-a-vis Iran and the U.S.

Renfield had replied recommending Tuchman’s book The Guns of August as it could serve as an historical antecedent to the current world situation.

Yaldabaoth’s mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom would soon be joining him for dinner.

Meanwhile up at the lobby desk, a very beautiful and very sexy (in Yaldabaoth’s opinion) woman who called herself Dolly Castro was talking to the resort manager.

“Yes, I sent the President a photo of yourself and also what you’re currently wearing and he says he’s very ready to meet you,” the manager said, “but before he invites you to the White House for a one-on-one meeting, he wants to know, since you have the last name of Castro, if you’re at all related to an infamous Castro. ”

The woman frowned.

“So,” the manager asked, paraphrasing Sen. Joe McCarthy, “Are you now or have you ever been related to Julian Castro?”.

Julian Castro was a former candidate for the U.S. Democratic Party Presidential nomination who had recently withdrawn from the race. 

He had also served in Barack Obama’s cabinet as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.

“No,” Dolly Castro smiled, “I’m not. Nor have I ever been.”

“All right,” the manager smiled, “he’s officially invited you to the White House then. I understand you have a gift you’re bringing him?”.

“Yes,” Dolly smiled, “It’s a new type of Australian harmonica. Invented by a notable Australian eccentric named Uncle Ernie.”

. . .

In the resort’s main dining room, Sophia was discussing with Yaldabaoth a woman named Bella Dodd whom she had met in the U.S. back in the 1950s.

Bella Dodd had been a member of the American Communist Party back in the 1930s and 1940s.

She had converted back to Roman Catholicism in the early 1950s (she had been Catholic in her childhood and her youth) after taking classes from then Monsignor Fulton J. Sheen (a notable Roman Catholic preacher on both radio and television).

Bella Dodd had told Sheen about how she had been given an assignment by Joseph Stalin himself back in the 1930s.

Stalin had a plan to destroy the Catholic Church by getting Communists to infiltrate their seminaries and becoming priests and eventually bishops and hopefully even Cardinals.

Dodd was asked to recruit Communist men for Catholic seminaries in the U.S.

She was told by her Soviet handler to get men who were not only Communist but homosexual as well since men with those sexual proclivities had been found to be very useful to the Communist cause in terms of infiltration and espionage.

Seeing as how Bella Dodd was an extremely attractive woman when she was younger, she should have no trouble determining which potential recruits were indeed homosexual.

A lot of Dodd’s recruits were ordained by Francis Spellman who was Archbishop of New York from 1939 until his death in 1967.

Spellman who was homosexual himself (although not a Communist) needless to say showed a surprising affection for Dodd’s recruits (although he did not know they were Dodd’s recruits).

From Spellman’s patronage, a lot of these homosexual recruits formed a sort of Spellman Apostolic Succession in the U.S. Catholic Church becoming leading priests, bishops and cardinals.

The successors of Spellman’s pink affections for closet reds make up a large proportion of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops today.

A lot of these original Dodd recruits and the men they recruited had sexual proclivities not only gay but in particular a hankering for altar boys and young seminarians.

The most notorious of which was the Communist homosexual Theodore (ex-Cardinal) McCarrick who negotiated the pact signed between the Vatican and Xi’s Communist China that sold out the Underground Catholic Church in China telling those worshippers to place themselves under Xi’s state controlled church.

In addition to selling out China’s underground Catholics, McCarrick also buggered several altar boys and seminarians during the course of his long undistinguished ecclesiastical career.

McCarrick, who had been under Pope Francis’ personal protection, was only finally reprimanded and laicized when his crimes became public.

Of course if you’re a devout Chinese Catholic woman, you’ll earn yourself a very violent slap on the hand from Pope Francis right in public if you wish to discuss the persecution (that Catholics in China are still facing) with the pontiff while you’re waiting in a public audience line.

The next day the so-called Successor of Peter would mention how abhorrent violence against women is.

Yet another example of the Neo-Bolshevik Francis’ “do as I say not as I do” attitude.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Tuesday January 7th
2020.


Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic Goddess of Wisdom had many men ogling her when she visited New York City in the early 1950s.
Save of course for New York’s Francis Cardinal Spellman who was ogling the man directly behind her.

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The Maltese Falcon At Mar-A-Lago: A Poem

April 3, 2019 at 10:46 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Poetry, Romance, Spy Tales, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Narrator of poem:

“How are ya, sweetheart?
I’m the ghost of Humphrey Bogart
I was recently challenged by my friend the ghost of Orson Welles
to see if I still got tough guy and private eye skills
that I used to have in my movies.

So I took him up on his challenge and headed down to Florida
The site of one of my popular films Key Largo
I heard about this swanky place down there called Mar-a-Lago
A private Palm Beach, Florida club owned by a temper tantrum throwing
spoiled brat billionaire named Donald Trump
Imagine my surprise when I heard this bozo
was also the President of the United States
The country has certainly gone down hill
since the days of Harry Truman
I figure.

Anyways a Chinese lady spy named Yujing Zhang
was arrested at the club trying to enter it with a
thumb drive containing malware
I had no idea what a thumb drive is
Thought it might be that a car was driven by your thumb
instead of both hands in this day and age
or maybe some newly designed form of golf club
they came up with that quite literally relies on the rule of thumb
And as for malware, I thought it was some guy named Mel Ware
who just might be the uncle of Token Ware
a female character in a Raymond Chandler Philip Marlowe story

I was set straight on the new developments in technology
by the ghosts of eccentric Serb-American inventor Nikola Tesla
and some British guy named Alan Turing
who made a name for himself in mathematics

Anyways it turns out this Yujing Zhang wasn’t the only femme fatale
causing intrigue down at Club Mar-a-Lago
Some woman named Li Cindy Yang is also involved
It turns out she owns a massage parlour
where prostitution is said to be going on
on the premises
One of her arrested johns was a Mr. Robert Kraft
the owner of a football team called The New England Patriots
The case is made even more interesting by the fact
that the team’s quarterback Tom Brady
claims he’s able to win football games
through the help of his wife
Gisele Bundchen
who’s a witch.

The whole thing reminds me of a film my friend Veronica Lake
made back in 1942
called I Married A Witch

So you can imagine my surprise when I walked through the door
of Club Mar-a-Lago
and saw the Maltese Falcon on the table
That old bird that appeared in the film by that title
That I starred in back in 1941

Around the table lay the bodies of various secret service agents
who had been completely drained of blood
A beautiful Chinese woman wearing a white evening dress
stood outside the club dining room window
in the middle of the pouring rain

“That most enchanting and intriguing woman is the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu,”
The ghost of Orson Welles arrived in the nick of time
sipping a glass of red wine,
“She’s the daughter of Dr. Fu Manchu the famous scientist
whose exploits were written about in the novels of Sax Rohmer”.

“What’s she doing here?” I asked Welles.
Welles smiled, “She’s hidden a bunch of condoms owned by the Knights of Malta
in that Maltese Falcon.
That way when they’re found by law enforcement authorities
who are already on their way over here
The find will prove to be problematic and embarrassing
for both Donald Trump and Pope Francis
And the Chinese government will have killed two birds with one stone.”

“Well, that explains the pair of sunglass wearing dead pink flamingos I passed by on the lawn on the way in then,” I remarked
“Those are actually lawn ornaments knocked over by drunken country club members,” Welles finished his wine.

I noticed Mei-ling Manchu approach a fire-breathing Black Dragon
and crawl on to its back
“Off to Venezuela,” she said, “There to watch the Donald play his final Trump card before we divide this land between ourselves and the Russians.”
She and the Dragon flew off into the night sky

I walked outside to watch the Dragon and the vampiress depart
I looked down at the two pink flamingos and remarked to Welles,
“Well, I suppose the problems of two flamingos don’t amount to a hill of beans in this world.”
Welles lit himself a cigar and remarked, “Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday and soon.”
Some young woman named Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stood outside the club and waved a document called the Green New Deal.

“Bogey on the 18th hole,” the ghost of Arnold Palmer remarked as he walked by with his golf clubs.

I laughed, patted Welles on the shoulder and said,
“You know, Orson, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship”
As we walked off into the misty greens.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 3rd
2019.

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